Vic E 01

Great, here come comes the "meet me in alley on the down low" speech, right folks?

"First of all, I'll play fair with you, Vic E. I want you on your back and I promise that you will finish too before I stop pounding you and your tiny mess can go where it goes. And secondly, I mean, Vic E, it's nearing 11pm, so the Strip has been a buzz for almost two hours, so if you're not taking care of Ethan, then maybe someone else is and thirdly, I mean, I have an itch, so can you just scratch that for me in the alley before we find a bed where I can bang you proper then, hmm? Oh, and fourthly, if Ethan isn't being, you know, taken care of, I mean, he might be holed up in Jerry's SUV in the alley smoking, so."

Well, I never knew that some guys like their CD boyfriends to be on their back and all, so. But I did know that I wasn't going to stand by while some Strip slut took care of his Friday night needs! I also knew that my ponytail whipping skills have gone up a level.

[Smack, swish, flip, swash, swish, flip, phew, phew, flip]

"Alright, Vic E, that got me even harder for you, so?"

LOL, and then I knew how to high tail it through the little space between the stores to get to the alleys on foot! Which, huh, was crowded for such a skinny space. Which maybe I crept slowly through, but only because, holy snap, there is more to the Strip than the Strip and its alleys! I mean, it was almost as if the architects purposely designed the skinny space for um, bracing comfortably, so. LOL, and not one couple cared that I ducked and twisted my way under them.

"Shut it, Vic E! I know I need a trim, but getting an appointment with you is impossible these days! Aha, aha, aha, aha, ooh, ooh, Frank, keep going Frank, Vic E doesn't bother me, baby, aha, aha, aha."

And being small enough to squat down right there and make Darla appointment didn't seem to bother anyone either.

[Works on tablet, ping]

"Check your phone afterwards, Darla."

I mean, business is business, so. And maybe I crept through the skinny space slower than I anticipated that I would, but I finally popped out into the alley and I was on my mission to find my Ethan before he popped off himself! With some Strip slut.

Which, LOL, I must have looked like with my short shorts and tall socks as I leaned into a bunch of car and truck windows that were parked in the alley. Which, yep, most I knew weren't Jerry's SUV, but I knew I was on video and my Chang page could use a little spice, so. I mean, remember Claude the alley parking attendant from earlier? He also captures and sells phone video, but he's cool enough to just sell it the rightful owners. I mean, Claude is not a creep who leaks videos on Chang, so.

But I eventually strutted up to Jerry's SUV and yep, holy smoke snap! I mean, crack a window and let some of that smoke out, right?

[Window tap, tap]

"Ahem!"

[Finally, a window rolls down]

"Cough, cough, gag, cough, ahem!"

"Aww, blueberry pie, Vicki! SUP?"

"Jerry, don't call me as Vicki! Is Ethan in the back seat then? I can't see through the smoke storm, so? Also, hello Conner. You have a motorcycle appointment soon, so I'll be sure that a notification hits your phone. So, Jerry?"

"Aww, pop my door locks, Vic E, I mean, I'll pop my door locks, apple pie, oh, where are we then?"

[Door locks pop off, I mean, open, opens rear door, leave open for a minute to air out, scoots in]

"Hi, Ethan. I'm not speaking to you, so?"

"Well, who is talking then, Vic E? Do you want to hit this?"

"No, I'll pass. I'm getting enough from the second-hand smoke, so."

"Well, I swear that someone is talking and if you're not speaking to me, then who is talking, hmm? Are we still in Middleton?"

"Stop "all high and stuff" babbling, Ethan. Jerry, do you mind if I get cozy with Ethan in your rear seat then, hmm?"

I mean, college kids have sex in front of each all the time, so why would an alley be any different then, hmm folks? And you're already read about my troubles getting one on one "wooing" time with Ethan, so.

"(Constant giggling) aww, no lemon lime, hey, are we in my SUV? This looks and feels like a spaceship!"

"Conner?"

"Ooh, asteroid, dead ahead! Oops, no, Vic E, I mean, since you shaved my initials into Sally's front with such small font and fed me that amazing Lasagna, I mean, wait, where are we then?"

"Ethan?"

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"Well, I'm still not speaking with you, Ethan for not officially "wooing" me more, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, hmm, hmm]

Well, so, baggy cargo shorts just swoosh off then, hmm? And when I asked Jerry for a couple of napkins in case my efforts failed because I didn't want to make a drooling mess in his SUV or on Ethan, I mean, more giggling just meant to not fail, right?

And I didn't fail. I choked and gagged and coughed, but, whoa, I didn't fail and the only place Ethan's mess was, ewe, was in my belly and the better news was that Jerry and Conner didn't even remember that I was in the back seat with my mouth on Ethan. Or that's what they claim, you know, as they giggle without even smoking yet.

Oh, and I even earned my very own parking slot on the Strip! You know, because Jerry and Conner have no memory or video of things, but, hey, beep at me just under the "Crate & Pallet" store sign as you cruise the Strip!

End Vic E 01