Vivian Travels to Estonia Ch. 04

Now in conjunction with formulating such desire, Vivian did not have an ulterior motive in forcing him to leave his wife. Nor did she want the publicity nor demand outrageous child support as a result. No, the simple answer was that she wanted to become a mother, and being a single mother held no horrors for her, since her sister, Erica, had already set that paradigm for their family. Although Erica had subsequently married a second time, she had been prepared to remain a single mother and cope with that reality and was succeeding in the process. Mind you, in the back of Vivian's mind, the most attractive feature of becoming pregnant by Jed, was the undeniable fact that per force she was just not one of the run-of-the-mill bimbos he was fucking because his wife would not put out for him. She would have status, maybe not significantly materially, still she would have to be included in his biography.

However, despite such a modest goal by Vivian, for the desirable eventual outcome of her affair with Jed Baxter, it turned out that it was not to be. His wife, Felicia, in a desperate appeal to end their affair, revealed to Vivian that he had undergone a vasectomy to forestall future illegitimate children or blackmail from predatory females. And that was the reason she had been unsuccessful in becoming pregnant despite nearly three years of engaging in sex without utilizing any form of birth control.

As that was in effect, the removal of the only real rational impetus for Vivian to continue fucking Jed, she reluctantly decided to stop the relationship. That he had never thought enough about their affair to divulge such an important fact, spoke volumes about whose sex life was of the most paramount concern as far as he was concerned. At the invitation of Felicia, Vivian attended a party at the Baxter mansion whereupon she met Sam Crawford, the CFO of Baxter & Sons, and who went on to become her husband.

Sam Crawford was ten years Vivian's senior and had come to believe himself to be a confirmed bachelor. It was not that he was philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage per se; it was just that he had not encountered a desirable woman of whom he would be willing to contemplate marrying. Although not particularly religious, nor puritan in sexual mores, still he viewed marriage as a truly lifelong commitment which vows of fidelity were to be taken as sacrosanct. As a result, his bar for the desirable lifelong companion was set high. It was not that he desired a perfect wife as no such creature exists. He did not demand a drop dead gorgeous good-looking woman either, since in his view, such women as a general rule tend to be vacuous, and not even good in bed. The two adjectives that would best fit the kind of woman that would fulfill Sam's desires in a wife would be 'urbane' and 'intelligent'. Along with that she must also be witty, good-natured and absolutely fun to be with. Alas for Sam, every woman he had met and subsequently bedded, he found lacking in various degrees as to the quality of woman he desired. But Vivian Laaning was the one true exception. She possessed all the female qualities he desired in a woman.

Sam would concede that Vivian could not be counted on as belonging to the group of the prettiest of women roaming on this planet. Her physical appearance, though, had a special unique feminine quality which had a tremendous alluring appeal to him. He couldn't put his finger on what was physically attractive about her, but he likened his enthrallment of Vivian, when he first set eyes on her, to the same enchantment Odysseus must have felt when hearing the seductive sirens' song. Later on, Sam had subsequently advised Vivian of this instinctual attraction he had towards her. Subsequently, when Sam had died in prison, she sensed the macabre irony in his perceived mythical analogy. Odysseus had himself tied to the mast of his sailing ship so that he could not go to the sirens upon hearing their seductive song, and thereby avoiding his sudden demise. Sam on the other hand surrendered to her seductive allure and married her...and he died!

In any case, Sam was also not intimidated by Vivian's lusty sexual nature. He considered those men who sought chaste women to marry, who would be super sexual exclusively with them were unrealistic. In Sam's viewpoint, women who are chaste, are chaste for personal reasons being it religious or otherwise. Thus, it is unreasonable to expect them to turn their characteristic sexual proclivities upside down for one man exclusively. Having great sex is a major factor to achieve a happy marriage. It would be foolish to spurn a sexual woman simply because of a very active past sexual history.

Soon after meeting her, Sam realized he wanted to marry Vivian no matter what. However, like a person wanting to pinch himself to ensure he was not having a happy dream as opposed to being awake to a real-life experience, he devised a test for Vivian. He framed his marriage proposal in an email in the form of a written numerical cryptogram providing only obscure clues to decipher. Vivian did indeed succeed in deciphering the proposal, and so she wrote back in the same cryptic form, not only accepting the proposal but also announcing her pregnancy. Accordingly, they were married within six months after discovering each other's existence.

Unfortunately, despite such a promising whirlwind start of her marriage to Sam, it all quickly turned to ashes. He was arrested within two hours of the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, for embezzling substantial sums of money from his employer, Baxter & Sons, over a period of a dozen years. To further compound Vivian's misery, her short marriage ended a mere four days after the wedding, with the murder of her husband in prison, by a deranged, obviously dangerous cell mate. The only silver lining of her brief marriage, apart from the birth of her daughter, Maia, was that Vivian was able to recover and convert to her own personal use the balance of the embezzled funds that had not been uncovered or discovered by the FBI and the other legal authorities, during the lawful prosecution proceedings against Sam Crawford.

All in all, there were certain similarities, between Eino Tarvas and her two most prominent lovers in her past. Vivian could sense that Eino, like Jed and Sam found her absolutely attractive, even alluring. This was curiously contrary to the universal negative regard of the lack of outstanding pulchritude on her part. It wasn't that she was considered unattractive, as her extensive sexual history would attest to a successfully seductive sex appeal. She never had a problem attracting a sex partner, male or female. The point was that her looks were not considered noteworthy enough to inspire an instant and overwhelming desire to have sex with her, or to prompt one to move heaven and earth to achieve such an instant desire.

The case with Jed, Sam and now Eino was different. In fact, from the very first meeting Vivian had with each of them, she could discern that each one of them was smitten with her beyond what could be reasonably extrapolated from the cliché of 'love at first sight'. As already indicated, she had had a plethora of other fuck buddies, both males as well as females, in the past. But in each such instance it was really a case of indulging in assuaging the tension of compelling sexual urges of the moment, as opposed to a satisfying, all-encompassing affectionate love infatuation.

In other words, most of Vivian's past sexual dalliances resulted from doing what comes naturally depending on the circumstances. That was certainly the case with the lesbian sex she had with her sister, Erica. There was no romantic love involved between them, as neither one of them had the expectation that their sexual activity would lead to anything significant. They both viewed their sexual activity simply as a pleasurable thing to do in lieu of masturbation.

As it turned out, even in the case of her very first most serious love affair, a lesbian relationship with her high school History and English teacher, there was no real chance of a future romantic involvement. Now the teacher, Erin Falconbridge, might have evinced a genuine loving romantic love regard for Vivian. Still, given the isolated location wherein there was not much opportunity to explore a gay lifestyle, for Ms. Falconbridge, Vivian must have been, in essence, an 'any port in a storm' situation. As for Vivian, at the tender age of eighteen years of age, she was merely in the initial stages of exploring her sexuality and was not prepared yet to contemplate her sexual future.

Thus, in her own personal assessment of all of her extensive sexual activity with the exception of Jed, Sam and now possibly with Eino, Vivian realized there was nothing of meaningful value to be attached to having had such experience. Certainly, she elicited terrific sexual pleasure from all of the sex she had engaged in, but in truth those occasions of unbridled joy were merely ephemeral in the general scheme of her overall presence in this world. She had come to the conclusion that all of her sex with the other men and her lesbian sex, as well, were moments where she was simply marking time in between the time where she was concentrating on following her true destiny in life. So, without a doubt those three men were the only ones who had any real influence on what she would do with her life, notwithstanding her predetermined goals and aspirations.

In the case of Jed Baxter, although in essence their affair did not go anywhere, still by her association with him, Vivian was introduced to a higher level of society from whence she originated as a humble farmer's daughter. Her position as an associate attorney with one of the most prestigious law firms in Chicago, removed any doubt others might perceive, that she did not really fit in his company. In fact, Vivian learned that she was the only woman, other than his wife, who had ever been publicly witnessed together with Jed as his companion to some innocuous public events. The experience with Jed made her super confident. She believed she could handle any crisis facing her, and not fall into despair.

Her association with Jed indirectly led her to meet Sam Crawford, who was responsible for the first major turning point in her life. That he married her and was the father of her child, by definition made him important in her life. However, the fact that he was arrested right after the wedding ceremony and murdered four days later, consequently led to the complete overturning of her life, which up to then had been a successful culmination of her lifelong dreams and aspirations. Instead, because she had the temerity to legally represent Sam without consulting her employing law firm, she was summarily fired two days after his death. The reason given for her employment termination was that since Jed Baxter and his business conglomerate, Baxter & Sons, were the most important clients of the law firm, no lawyer in the firm could represent Sam in view of the obvious conflict of interest. Vivian understood that an underlining reason for her firing had to be the fact, that since she had married the man who had embezzled millions of dollars from Baxter & Sons, it would be intolerable and foolish for the firm to keep her on their payroll in light of the importance of retaining Baxter & Sons as an ongoing client.

Her misery in enduring the calamity of these events was alleviated by her recovery of substantial sums of movies hidden by her husband in bank accountants in Switzerland and Monaco. He had skillfully secreted this money in such a manner that the investigating US authorities had been unable to detect their existence. By executing the proper documents before his death, Vivian was successful in attending at these European banks, and converting the cash assets to her own personal use. This made her financially independent, which term, of course, is a synonym for filthy rich.

As a result of this turn of events, Vivian had the luxury of taking a break from her heretofore relentless pace of becoming a successful lawyer, plus being a successful mother. She had aspired to becoming the super woman, a goal and ambition that seemed to be demanded of the truly esteemed women of substance in the current society of the United States. Her DNA makeup and upbringing, abhorred idleness, and she knew she would soon have to make some serious decisions about what to do with her future. Nevertheless, this sudden coming into a fortune, albeit they were ill begotten gains, but at least not of her own making, and therefore, acquitting her of any personal guilt, was the first moment in her entire life where she did not have to concern herself with the mundane task of ensuring financial survival.

This freedom of stress from money concerns was definitely a heady experience, which she could not appreciate enough. It made her carefree, and generous as evidenced by her spur of the moment decision to advance a substantial sum of money to Eino Tarvas. Vivian had absolutely no ulterior motive for this largess, showing no interest as to repayment or even indicating any expectation of recompense. In her own mind, it was simply a case of enjoying Eino's company, and he needed the money to expand his farm. She was in a position to help him, and so she did, end of story.

Mind you, Vivian was not that naïve to accept at face value that reasoning. She knew that there had to be a more significant reason for her action, but surprisingly she had no desire to delve into it any further.

Perhaps, as she had subsequently told Eino, she had in mind the example of Jed's loan to her sister for the start-up of her sister's restaurant and night club in Chicago, which exceeded the money she advanced to Eino. In any case, the most enjoyable circumstance of her tryst with Eino was the fact that she was richer than him, so that she could be generous to him for loving her. And she knew that he loved her, as certainly she knew that the sun would rise from the east the next morning. And she came to that belief despite their very brief to date acquaintanceship. She even formed that belief before she offered him the money, negating the notion that his perceived love for her were motivated by monetary considerations.

All of her previous fuck buddies, with the already noted exceptions of Jed and Sam, did not love her. Yes, they loved fucking her, but otherwise, did not genuinely love her romantically in the manner which the sensuous poets would rave about true romantic love. Some of her fuck buddies even felt disdain for her, because of her acknowledged sluttish and whore-like behavior. Incidentally, that reality in some straight men was a notion beyond Vivian's comprehension. As she saw it, any straight man who would make a sexual advance on a woman, presumably genuinely desires to have sex with her. Then if she complies and he scores with her, why does he then hold her in contempt for her acceding to presumably his wishes?

Vivian's belief that Eino loved her was based on many factors, but mainly on instinct as to how he reacted with her. Right from the moment they met, she could discern the look of loving regard he displayed to her. In their initial farming discussions, she could see he was evaluating her opinions very seriously, as opposed to dismissing her as knowing nothing about dairy farming. True she was introduced to him as a daughter of a dairy farmer, who had Estonian roots, but such awareness, she suspected would not hold much sway for a concession of equality amongst many sexist male Estonian farmers.

During this evening, when she advised him about the sexual significance of her tattoos and her body adornments, she could sense that he was not disgusted nor even dismayed by her explanations. If anything, she could discern a sense of envy in his demeanor. Her sister, Erica had always chided her for acquiring those tattoos indicating that not too many men could tolerate being reminded so brazenly of her past sexual history whenever she was naked with them.

Vivian was always of the opinion, that if a man could not get past her previous sexual history, he can't by definition be worth her while. In her view a real worthwhile man would find her past sexual history to have no relevance to their mutual history except to confirm that she was a very sexual woman. So, it would be up to him to prove that he was up to the challenge of satisfying her enough that she would be a one man woman to him. Vivian reveled in her puns.

Given the circumstances, Vivian realized that this dalliance with Eino Tarvas was likely to result in a mere one night stand occasion. Of course, their one night stand would likely consist of three nights fucking, before they were destined to depart in their separate ways forever. However, given that she was now financially independent, a long distant, cross Atlantic Ocean love affair was feasible, and such at this point in time was most desirable to Vivian. Thus, to bring about such a happy happenstance, and assuming Eino's love for her as a given, Vivian realized that it behooved her to demonstrate that her regard for him was likewise as compelling.