All Comments on 'Want to Play Ch. 03'

....what happened between the first date and now. I'm assuming that they have been "seeing" each other but it doesn't seem like they are in a relationship. Your writing style and ideas are great. It just sometimes seems a bit rushed. It still turned me on though and characters are interesting....so good job.

I liked "say my name" but this story is missing parts. the sex is great. but where is that part that tells of how the good girl fell for him? Hes too different for her to have just flipped the switch so quickly. Are we gonna learn more about adam? Will continue reading. Hope the holes get filled in. Make the chapter longer please.

But i will have to agree with the other comments. The stroyline would be better if we knew a little bit more about Adam and Erica. Is the relationship basically sexual or are they falling in love. Give us a bit more detail so we can really relate to the characters.

I noticed that this time your transitions were not abrupt. You started with a scene and carried it out. I agree with some of the other comments, that there are some holes, but I can see that you've started to make strides in your writing. Tell us more about how this relationship is progressing and how they feel about each other. Adam makes her wet on sight, but is it just lust or is it something deeper? Another comment I have is the scene with the UPS delivery person. Erica supposedly is jealous and Adam says she doesn't own him but the suddenly he owns her? And she doesn't have anything to say about that? Is he looking to be serious with her or is it a fling? Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing what will happen next.

I love your style of writing. However, I feel your characters don't have much dept to them. Write about Adam's past and why he is attracted to Erica. And vice versa. Your previous stories flow like a summary of a story. Give us more, write about the characters relationship. Is it all sexually or do they love each other? I don't leave comments and I normally don't vote on a story. But you have a lot of potential, just find a good editor. And I bet you, people will only leave comments about how much they love your stories.

I love the story but you have to have someone proof read your stories. I understand the character's are in this sexual dom relationship but it just that and its all over the place. Like I said before love the story but you need a beta ( someone who can read the story and see what you need before you post).

I like the concept, but i would like more of thier story, like in say my name. the sex is really good, but i would like to read more of their romance.

THESE TWO ARE FUNNY TOGETHER. THANKS

MORE BAAAAABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

He fucks her so good!!! They are such animals together...you can feel the heat... the driving strokes and flowing juices from both of them. DAMN!!!! So good and tasty.. can almost feel the sensations top and bottom...sweet magick as only a devil can deliver. Play on Playa.........play on.