Want You to Want Me

"Reprieve." He said, as the first course arrived. "Enjoy dinner. I'd hate to ruin it for you." I laughed at him. I relaxed a fraction. He wouldn't wind me up if he said he wouldn't. I trusted that.

"Oh, you've soooo ruined dinner." I joked. "I hope they have cleaners for the puddle they'll have to wipe off the seat when we're done." He laughed and I stared at him. Huh. He was really pretty. How had I never noticed that? "I'm begging you to tell me this is my punishment." I said. "I really can't take much more."

"You're taking this very well." He said. His hand reached over the table and grasped mine again. "Thought there was a 50/50 chance you'd walk out on me when I suggested the vibrator."

"Oh was that a suggestion?" I squeezed his hand. "And here I was thinking it was a demand."

"Six of one." He smiled at me and leant over the first course, to push my hair off my face. "You look so nice tonight. Don't tell me you tried for me?" I felt my heart skip a beat. Oh crap. THIS is why I don't do dinner. I quickly pulled my hand away and scowled at him.

"You should see me when I try." I said, folding my arms. "You'd be weak at the knees." He took my sudden frostiness in his stride and just smiled as he settled back in his seat.

"Dumbass." He said. "I'm already weak at the knees."

Shit.

----

He did actually let me pay. I guess I'd kind of used my only card on that. You can't just safeword everytime you want to get your way. We walked home together, him teasing me the whole way, whispering in my ear about how needy I looked, and how easy I was to control, and how he bet I would cream my pants like a little boy before we even made it home. Eventually I collapsed onto a nearby bench and groaned at him.

"You'll have to drag me." I said. "I can't walk anymore. I can't take it." He laughed.

"Hop on my back." He said. I sat up and raised my eyebrows at him. Um. As if. I was probably twice his weight. He saw me looking at him dubiously and laughed.

"That too emasculating?" He said.

"I caged my dick for you, we're way beyond emasculation." I said. "Dude, there's no way." I stood up and sighed, ready to start walking again. But he looked at me stubbornly and stuck his chin out. I know that look. I have it on my face most of the time. I sighed and hopped on the bench.

"Give it a go then." I said. He turned his back to me and I clambered on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. Huh. He didn't immediately collapse. Stronger than he looked. He managed a few steps almost with ease, but I could see a vein on his neck straining, and while I think he was trying to hide it, his breath was getting heavier. I leant my head into his neck and inhaled. Oh shit, he smelled awesome. I'd have to ask him what it was. But right now I needed him to put me down, because he was going to injure himself to prove a point- which was the kind of stupid behaviour I would expect from me, not him. And I needed to get him to put me down without bruising his ego. I brushed my lips against his ear.

"Ahh... Everett..." I whispered.

"Mmm?" He grunted. His cheeks were going red with the struggle of staggering down the street and pretending I weighed nothing. I pressed my cheek to his.

"So I was wrong, and this is extremely emasculating." I whispered. "Would you pretty please put me down if I asked very nicely?"

"Well." He smiled. "If you ask nicely."

"Please, sir." I murmured. And to both our relief he gently set me down. I smiled at him. I kind of wish I was small enough that he could throw me around. But he had what he had. And I guess he liked it because he smiled back at me.

"God you weigh a fucking shit ton." He said. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I work out."

"Yeah no shit you work out, Rocky." He laughed to himself. "Warmed me up at least. Come on." He snapped his fingers, and I was a little bit mad at that, but not enough to say anything. I slipped in beside him, catching up to his outrageous pace.

We got back to his and the flatmates were home, so we snuck in his slightly ajar window because I knew his flatmates and neither of us had any intention of outing the other right now. I fell into his room and he helped me up and I looked awkwardly at him.

"Um." I said. "So, like, I really will need ah... to shower. Before you fuck me. IF you fuck me. If I'm lucky and you fuck me, sir. I'm not..." Everett watched me placidly as I made myself tongue tied. "Not..." I trailed off and my blood went cold for a second. "Oh, I fucked up didn't I? Was I not meant to eat? Oh, tell me off next time! I'm so sorry, I ruined..."

"Woah, woah, woah." Everett looked at me like I'd grown an extra pair of arms. "Are you ok? Course you were supposed to eat." I blinked at him.

"But..."

"Can I ask..." He interrupted me, pressing his fingertips together. "Was your last Dom a total cunt or do you just naturally work yourself up like this?" I spluttered.

"A little from column A, a little from column B." I said quietly. He pulled me to sit down with him.

"I'm not going to test you." He said. "Why would I even need to? You go all pink and melt for me when I do this." He wrapped his fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled on it. I gasped as my head jerked back and felt pins and needles all over me. Oh, hello. Oh I was gonna slip into brainlessness any second now. "See?" He whispered, stroking my cheek. "Why would I bother with stupid games like that where you don't know the rules? Because you'll do anything I say, and all I have to do is look at you the right way." Mmmm. He was so right. I parted my lips and he smiled at me, looking at my stupid glazed over face. "Oh, you've gone dumb." He teased. "Haven't you?"

"Yes sir." I whispered. "Please."

"Please what?" He looked at me. "Because you're quite right, I can't fuck you right now." I moaned and even though he'd just been telling me not to worry about it, I was still annoyed at myself. If I haven't eaten we'd be ready to go now. I could have played the trick I used to play, cutting stuff up, putting it down, hiding meat under lettuce leaves.... Well. Too late now.

I moaned as he set the vibrator off again and my head fell to my chest. I was hot and flushed, and I didn't know what I wanted. I was all fuzzy inside. I just wanted him to fuck me. But he wouldn't. Because I fucked up. But I was sooo horny. I whined as he didn't relent and I felt my hips gyrating slightly, and my ass clenching down.

"I need to calm down." I moaned. "Please, please help me."

"What would help?" He asked.

"Tell me what to do." I whispered. "Just give me orders, any orders."

"Ok. Strip. Slowly. I want a show, pet." He stroked my hair and let me stand up, letting the vibrator stop for a moment so I could focus. My legs were shaky. I guess that's what happens when you're wound up all night. I pushed my hair off my face and tried to pull myself together, a fraction. I looked him dead in the eye and took off my jacket. I folded it and tucked it by the door, before realising that watching me fold clothes wasn't exactly sexy, and I cursed myself silently. But I'd make up for it. I unbuttoned my shirt, slowly, one button at a time, and as I discarded it I let my thumb bush my nipple. I shivered in delight. I started to undo my trousers and grew red as I realised how close he was to seeing it. Until now he knew, but it was all... anticipation. Once he saw my useless cock, dangling between my legs, soft because it couldn't get hard... I moaned to myself and paused as I stood in my jock. I glanced at him.

"Calvin Klein." I said. He smirked a little.

"Better." He said. "Come here." He patted his lap and I fell into him, wrapping my big thick legs around him and grinding the hard bit of plastic into his crotch. He moaned as he let himself take full advantage of the big dumb stud on his lap- feeling up my ass, running his thumbs over the straps of the jock and pulling on the elastic, snapping it back against my skin. "You're pure porn, pet." He told me. I just moaned. I was too far gone for anything resembling conversation. He brought his hands up to play with my pecs and he groaned as he tried to grasp a handful.

"Oh, your fucking tits." He whispered, tweaking my nipples.

"Pecs, sir." I breathed into his neck. I could feel him chuckling, but as always, he wasn't annoyed. He just licked my neck and nibbled on my earlobe as his hands continued to rove my body.

"Pecs." He corrected himself. "Fucking slabs of muscle." He slapped my ass and I grunted. He pushed my hair off my face and looked into my eyes. "There is nothing I want more than for you to lie across my lap right now with your legs spread and spank you and until your ass is red." I know my face was red at least. I hopped to it immediately.

"Your wish is my command, sir." I smiled as I rearranged myself, spreading my legs as wide as I could. I could feel cool air on my freshly shaved asshole, and he noticed immediately as he ran his finger down my crack.

"Oooh." He said. "Manscaped. You worked out a razor." He pushed on the vibrator gently as his fingers reached it and it bumped against me pleasurably. I wriggled, trying to stay still for him, but unable to hold my reaction to everything he was doing. "This ass." He was falling into his growly low Dom voice. "You've just given it right over to me haven't you?" I whimpered my agreement. "All. Fucking. Mine." He punctuated his words with firm, hard, flat handed slaps across my ass. I bucked against him slightly, but I basically kept myself under control. "Who's ass is this?" He fingered my hole, playing with the toy.

"Yours, sir."

"That's right." He hit me again. "Tell me, pet."

"This is your ass sir." I moaned as he pulled the toy out a fraction and plunged it back in.

"Tell me." He insisted.

"It's yours to control sir. It's yours whenever you demand it. You own it, sir."

"Good boy." He stroked my back and I felt the familiar sense of tingling limblessness come over me. I squirmed in his lap, fuck I was dripping through my cage I was that turned on. "Let's kick this up a notch." He said. He helped me right myself, and laid me on the bed, knowing how desperate and confused I was. "Present my ass." He said. Hmm. Even my subbed out single brain cell standing didn't like the grammar there. But I knew what he meant. I knelt on all fours and pushed my ass out. He tsked. "When I say present, I expect you to spread your cheeks for me." He said, and I felt the shame right to my core. Could there be anything worse in the world than reaching behind me, and holding myself open? Just so he could look at me. Look at what a stupid fucking... I naturally obliged him immediately, enjoying the wave of humiliation.

"I'm pulling this out." He said, toying with the vibrator. "I want to see you gape." I just drooled, and I probably murmured 'yes sir' but I was basically a horny embarrassed puddle by now. There's no point even trying to decipher what was going on with me. I was beyond sub space. I was on another fucking planet. He played with the toy as I held myself there, and he teased me before pulling it out roughly, leaving me exposed and twitching.

"Oh fuck yeah." He whispered. "Christ, pet. Forget what I said. I need this ass right now." I winced, my brain trying to crawl out from the hazy fog that had buried it. I just about managed it.

"Sir... please..." I whimpered. "No." Everett paused, and he stroked my back gently.

"No?" He asked. I closed my eyes. What's the one thing you don't ever fucking do? Just say no to your Dom.

"Please let me do an enema." I whispered. "I'll be... I'll die if..."

"Hmm." Everett grunted and I felt his weight leave the bed. I shut myself up and waited for whatever his instructions were. "There's a gig on at 10, thought they'd be gone already, but they won't be long, pet." He said. I flinched as he threw something at me and I realised it was the same dressing gown I'd borrowed last time. "You can prep when they leave. In the meantime put that on because your body makes me crazy." I obeyed him, a little stiffly. I felt like I'd fucked up. He should have ignored me saying no. But truly, I'd never forgive myself if I fucking... shat on him. I looked at him, still fully clothed, and bit my lip as I wondered how to make it up to him.

"Sorr..." He held up his hand with a sigh and cut me off.

"You're smarter than this." He said quietly. "You wouldn't ask me to stop if you didn't mean it. So stop apologising and backtracking every time you do." I shut my mouth and rolled off the bed, kneeling between his legs where he was sitting at the desk. I grinned up at him as I slowly started to unlace his shoes.

"In my defence." I whispered as I kissed his boots before taking them off and sitting back on my knees. "We both know I'm braindead when I'm horny. You can veto my no's. Actually, you should veto my no's." I rubbed his feet, enjoying the look of pleasure that passed over his face as I started to work on them. He let me stay there, kneeling, and worshipping his feet and he sighed and sat back.

"Here's what I worry about." He said. "You use 'no' because you know it can be overruled. But what you really mean is 'red'. Only you don't ever use red do you? Only for when you want to... win an argument for example." He glanced down at me and I bent over and kissed his toes as I looked up at him.

"You're perceptive." I said. He scoffed.

"You're just easy to read."

"I'll use red." I said. "When I need to." I shuffled so I was sitting cross legged, because my thighs were aching from kneeling, and I placed his feet in my lap and kept rubbing them.

"How's debate?" He asked me, changing the subject. I shrugged.

"Yeah. Good." I looked up at him. "Why'd you skip this week? You're the best on our team. We do ok without you but I miss the best third speaker."

"You're the best third. You always have been." He yawned. "Oof, you're sending me to sleep." I laughed.

"Can I ride your cock if you do?" I asked. "You have no idea how damn horny I am."

"I have some idea." He smiled at me. "You got any idea how hard it is not to pin you down right now and fuck the shit out if you? Literally, if it happens." I glanced up at him.

"You... you can." I said. "A No isn't red." Everett leant down and pushed my hair off my face and clasped my head tight, tilting me up to look at him.

"I like you very much." He said. "And I'm not stupid, even though you are. And you might think you can handle anything but you can't, and you'll never trust me if I break those boundaries." He sighed and kissed my forehead. "It's called playing games, and I don't do it but you do. Lucky for both of us I'm very smart and I don't fall for that crap the way your last Dom did." I bit my lip and let my head hang. Ok. Hella called out. I felt my cheeks grow warm. I didn't mean to... play games. I just.... Never knew what I wanted. And if I thought I wanted something He didn't- whoever He was, or vice versa or whatever, well, far be it from me to question Him. I kept my mouth shut. Everett had been deep frying my brain all night. I wasn't up for this. I just grunted and kept rubbing his feet.

We sat in relatively comfortable silence, I think he was even working on an essay, which was kind of rude- but also still kind of hot. He wasn't ignoring me, because he would stroke my hair every now and then, or murmur how nice it was, but his attention was definitely on something else.

To my relief, he was right, and it wasn't long until the idle chatter in the flat started to move around, and, after what seemed like a million years to me, the front door closed.

Everett 's head jerked immediately and he looked down at me.

"Well then." He gestured vaguely in a way I decided meant 'stand up'. "Your cue." He smiled at me. I reached for the cloth tote bag I'd been carrying around all evening and let him lead me to the bathroom, as though I would have forgotten where it was or something. He looked at me thoughtfully as he handed me a towel and I raised my eyebrows.

"What?" I grunted. I know an 'I have an idea' face when I see one. He leant on the wall and his eyes roved slowly over my chest, where the dressing gown was loose and you could see my abs.

"Can I watch?" He asked. Well, I suppose it was too much to hope that my cheeks stayed a normal colour for the rest of the night. I felt myself hot with embarrassment.

"You know... what an enema is right?" He smirked.

"Yeah I get the general idea."

"Why would you even..." I shook my head. "I think it's gross and it's my shit."

"I think it would be hot to watch." He shrugged. "Because it makes you embarrassed. That's hot. And it makes me feel possessive of your body. That's hot too." I winced. The deep shame of exposing myself like that was probably as much as I'd ever felt. He was right. It was hot.

"Ok." I said, pulling the dressing gown off. "But don't you dare turn around and tell me you can't fuck me afterall because you don't see me the same way anymore and think I'm gross."

"Ihaka." He said, flicking the waistband on my jock lazily. "It's ok, nothing will change. I already know you're full of shit." I laughed and swore at him, and peeled off the jock strap. He was looking admiringly at me when I stood up. Oh yeah, duh. He's probably been waiting for this all evening. I stood up straight and clasped my hands behind my back, tilting my hips forward a fraction, to display the cage.

"You like it, sir?" He smiled and wrapped his hand around it, shaking it up and down, laughing at me.

"Oh I like it very much." He said. "Looks uncomfortable."

"Maybe a bit." I smiled stiffly. Almost since I put it on, actually, and began the cycle of getting horny, trying to get hard, feeling pain, and the pain turning me on again. No way he didn't know that already though. He stopped playing with the cage, and sat on the toilet, looking at me.

"Go on then." He said. I laughed nervously.

"This... isn't going to be sexy in any way." I smiled at him. "Just so you know."

"Don't care." He smiled. "You're wrong though." I shrugged and tried to ignore him as I pulled the enema kit from my bag. I sighed, and began fussing with it. This is a major last resort for me at the best of times. Usually I just plan my day better. I fucking hate enemas, and as soon as I've been fucked I usually need to spend the next few hours near the bathroom, it's very disruptive. But they... calm the nerves. Otherwise I'm too worried about shitting all over him to actually enjoy myself. A necessary evil.

I filled up the bag with bottled water I'd boiled at home. Precious, maybe, but my ass is my best feature. God forbid I flood it with second rate tap water from unknown sources. I grabbed the lube from my bag and used it on both me and the tube I was about to stick in my ass, briefly glancing at Everett as I fingered myself efficiently. He was looking at me with the steeliest expression I'd ever seen on him and I felt myself blush. Huh. He really got something out of this. I lay down in the bath and grunted uncomfortably as I inserted the tube and closed my eyes.

I felt Everett kneel beside me, and I blinked at him, pretty much ready to swat him away as his fingers gently stroked my cheek.

"Good boy." He whispered. "You're doing so good, aren't you pet?" I glared at him. Not particularly. He reached out and wrapped my spare hand up in his, and he kissed my knuckles. His eyes danced over my very tense and very uncomfortable body. "May I?" His hand drifted to the bag and I winced. Yeah, of course, just go ahead and do the most degrading thing anyone can think of. I just whimpered and let him, turning gently over to my side and staring at him as he followed the process. He stroked my side the whole time, and smiled at me as he gently removed the bag. I watched him. Yeah. He'd done this before. Creep. What kind of weirdo likes this part? Only I kiiiind of got it because I was so weak, and embarrassed, and I knew I could probably never look him in the eye again after this. Which is just what you want from a sub. Someone who knows exactly where they stand with you.