All Comments on 'Warden's Call Pt. 01'

It’s well written but severely lacking in context. The reader can only know what you write, if you leave important information out then readers are going to either take it at face value or (I think) the likelier option which is to extrapolate and or make assumptions. Without context your dominant will look like a raging psychopath. Is the sub a pain slut or is she being forced, how well do they know each other? She apparently has a safe word which implies she isn’t someone he’s kidnapped off the street. Why is he trying to terrify her, what are their wants and needs, are they a couple or is she a random sub?

I’d strongly recommend that you include relevant Tags on your stories. The dual act of attracting readers who share your interests and (just as important) acting as Trigger Warnings for those who might need them. Breath play, lots of pain and high protocol aren’t for everyone.

Your story information seems at odds with the story content, was it intended as “I’m new to writing about BDSM” or was it “I’m new to BDSM “ ?? The former might imply, I have plenty of experience and know what I need to know about me and my sub(s) but I’m not used to writing about this topic” but the latter might declare “yeah, it’s all new to me but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing so I’m just going to charge in there, how hard can it be??”

I think you have plenty of potential but based on this story I’d suggest including more information.

You’re leagues ahead of me because you’ve decided to submit your ideas. Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (uk)