Warning: Oral Dildo Training Ch. 18

WARNING: Oral Dildo Training Ch. 18

Chapter 18 - Reaffirmation, Acceptance, and Anal:

I am Benny and you should have read the previous chapters first before reading further.

In the previous chapter I had explained how too much sissy Hypno porn and the realization that I wanted to suck a real cock had put me into a state of depression. The depression was quite bad actually. But one positive result of the depression was that I stopped watching porn altogether. Completely. Nothing. And I did not 'Practice' either as I was still in a state of denial also. And I was struggling because deep inside I knew what I really wanted.

But the lack of pornography (especially the negative sissy Hypno videos) and the lack of 'Practice' actually began to have a positive effect. My depression slowly disappeared but my denial stayed with me as I kept trying to convince myself that I did not want to suck cock at all. But the denial was too much for me.

One day I broke down and went into my bedroom and started to suck my dildo and jerk my cock as I listened to the 'Repeat After Me' hypno trainer once again (I felt that this video was somewhat harmless). The dildo felt so good in my throat. My cock was so hard as I repeated the dirty sayings on the screen. And by the end of the video when I was about to cum and I said, "I am now a cocksucker. I need to suck more real cock now. I want to suck a real cock," it all came flooding back! I wanted to suck a cock. I said it out loud as I watched myself actually say it. I said it several times, "I want to suck cock. I want to suck a real cock and swallow real cum." I looked at myself and knew that there was no denying what I really wanted to do.

And I felt relieved at my sudden reaffirmation. Much better. Much, MUCH better! When I left my room soon afterwards, I knew I was a cocksucker and I knew I would have to do something about it. I was so suddenly full of the desire to immediately suck a cock right then and there! Latisha had once told me about one of many Adult Bookstores which exist in our city which contain several special video booths that are known as a 'gloryhole'. In these booths there is a 3 inch wide hole in the connecting wall between two adjacent booths. Latish says that if you want your cock sucked you go to the bookstore, get a booth, then stick your cock through the hole in the wall and someone will eventually suck it. Also, if you want to suck cock, you also go to the bookstore and get a booth. But instead of sticking your cock through the hole, you simply sit down and wait for someone in the adjacent booth to take THEIR cock and stick it through the booth where you can start sucking it!

That day, once I had made up my mind that I was really a cocksucker and wanted a real cock right then, if I could only have remembered the name of the Adult Bookstore which Latisha had told me about I would have gone there and sucked cock after cock after cock!!!

The interesting thing about my reaffirmation that day was that all of the denial, stress, and depression disappeared and was replaced by confidence. So much so that I started watching porn again (but NOT Hypno or Sissy videos). One of these videos involved an anal segment with a dildo. I could not stop watching the girl riding up and down on her dildo over and over. Her dildo was so big and she took it so deep. I was so intrigued that later that night, when I 'Practiced' I decided to try it myself. I showered really well. Then I stuck the dildo to a glass plate, set the plate on the floor, slathered the dildo in baby oil and rubbed a generous amount of baby oil between my ass cheeks. Then I straddled the dildo and slowly tried to lower myself onto it. Oh my god was that dildo fat! I felt it pressing into me and it was so big!! I went really slowly over and over again a little more each time. It hurt and was stretching me out. After many, many times I had finally lowered myself so that all 9 inches were inside of me! Then I began to ride the dildo up and down slowly then faster and faster. Soon I was bouncing on that cock while stroking my dildo saying, "Oh my god! Oh my god!" And I shot load after load of cum with that huge dildo inside me! It felt so fabulous I was truly amazed! I didn't just like it, I loved it!

I have done it several times since then!

I figured that if that wonderful dildo felt that good inside my body and felt equally good in my throat that it was time I sucked a real cock!

The day of my first experience with anal sex was also the very day which I fully accepted that I was a cocksucker and that I had to suck a real cock soon. I vowed to do something about it as soon as I could.