All Comments on 'Watching - Full'

If there is a miff it would be when Katie and Phil got married and how the family handled that, but that is minor. Can we assume that since Phil is officially in the Symon's family Phil will take over the company when the old man retires? If so, then Phil better train up his Accounting Company GM.

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5***** Hooyah, Salutes....

Liked it a lot. Well-written, good plot. Please keep writing.

It's a good story.

With a fine plot, very well worked.

But it is limited.

4 out of 5 from me.

Enjoyable read

Great BtB!

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing.

A little bit more on Phil finally getting together with Katie would've been nice, but it was still an easy 5*.

I enjoyed it. Was it perfect? No. But enjoying a story is very good. Switching between Katie and Kathline happened in a somewhat random fashion and several times I had to look back to make sure I was focused on the correct character. Doesn’t make a story bad but provides a distraction which reduces the reader’s involvement in the story. The less involved we are the more likely we are to miss the feelings you’re trying to portray. Not uncommon in Literotica stories and part of the learning process I suspect. Maybe do a better check of character namings throughout the story as part of your edits. Nice story. Keep writing.

He warned her and gave her every chance. She was just to caught up in her fantasy to think straight. He got the better of the deal.

Good story but the kathline, katherine, katie is still confusing. These are yours so I guess we were warned at the start. Good end to what was a short story

Love the full story. Written very well. I also liked how it could go either way at times.

Thank you for a great story.

Great story. I like that she received what she had coming to her.

It was a bit mechanical, and the occasional POV flips distracted from the flow. Still, worth four stars.

JPB NOT BOB

Liked the full story too. Thanks for sharing.

Held my attention to the end. would have liked to hear more about the frustration of the wife when she realized she lost her husband didn't even get with fuckwit. She got btb thinking she could get away with it live happily ever after. Got what she deserved a broken marriage and all the blame.

Four stars and a follow...

The Symons company must be loaded afterall they can afford to pay millions in compensation from lawsuits by aggrieved husbands whose marriages ended at company parties.

Also papa must either be a real pos or a terrible boss if he doesn't know that this has happened the last three years.

Finally why wouldn't Fuckwit come back to town and empty a magazine into James Bond? He lost a bollock, has minor brain damage and probably needed multiple surgery's so what does he have to lose?

Just a very silly story with remarkably unlikable characters.

making one of ur characters the narrator will keep ppl invested more than having the author the narrator. making the narration mental instead of outside of the story.

I am glad you decided to go the full Monty and not just settle on 750. This story was too good to be relegated to a short form and you realized that which shows that you aren’t just a good author but you pay attention to your work and notice things that others might miss. Awesome job and five stars and a grateful reader/fan.

Lexx

I gave it a 3 for technical reasons. Grammar needs a LOT of work. Fire your editor. The story flips between first person and third person. Changes of scene are not well delineated and therefore confusing. Oftentimes the ability to identify a remark in quotations to the proper character is difficult. All of these errors make it difficult to read and comprehend. It significantly detracts from the ability to enjoy the piece.

Not a bad story but falls to the same nonsensical tropes many if its type do. He is presented as a "no nonsense" man and eventually divorces the slut even if she didn't get dicked. But then why wait all this time? Emotional cheating is cheating, she is planning to do it and he knows it. And confronting her confirmed she has no respect for him. Why the wait? Cheating is not the moment a dick enters a vagina. The betrayal and deceit break a marriage and these are irrelevant to the actual act of sex. What if she had never tried to openly cuck him and did it behind his back without telling him? Would he still be waiting for her to tell him like a happy little cucky? Authors often fail to realize that, when they write a man of principles, they can't have him following them only when it's convenient to the plot. If the plot requires that man acting like a cucky to extend the story, maybe it needs some rethinking. And anything other than immediate separation the moment you discover cheating intent, is cucky behavior.

5 stars from Xluckylee for an excellent story from start to finish. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Would of been 5 but you rushed the ending, skipping over major parts.

At one point you made it seem like they didn't get together but then they did, and maybe she is pregnant or not.

Scratch that, with all of it taken into account it drops down to 3

Well done. Much appreciate you expansion. Human empathy, full gamet of emotions...keep it up.

Liked the story and the way it developed as expected. I think it was easy to give it 4 stars. I couldn't get to 5 stars because there was no real drama to give it the unexpected ending. Thanks for sharing your effort and look forward to more of your work.

Author didn't have time to tag the story, I don't have time to read it.

Another one bites the dust!

5

Something that is a bit confusing. It was indicated that Fuckwit had followed the same pattern twice before. Why was he still employed for a third try?

Very clever and entertaining. Really enjoyed the story but pick a tense. The clumsy switches between first and third person story telling is distracting. Really good story though, although the February sucks premise still mystifies me, as if any remotely normal wife would do it.

A good story but please continue with your other three main storys there the best ever.

The timing of events could of went astray; lucky MC.

I liked the story well enough to give it a 5.

The story could of be a little better planned or smoother; still a five

What happened to Sophia,she moved home,but was still COO so she had to be involved in the amalgamation?.

Much improved over the short 750 word version.

Well done! Fun read. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I liked the extra details, and we can sort of see where things are going, but you showed us all of the sorrow of Phil, butnnever really showed any remorse or sorrow from Sophia. It was all just summarized off screen. If you're going to walk us through pain, walk us through recovery and happiness. Don't yadda yadda the good part. 4*

Of all the stupid cheating wife stories, this wife takes the stupid Medal of Honor. I know this is fiction, but is there really a wife out there that’s that stupid?

Anonymous, human stupidity and weakness are infinite.

I enjoyed the story actually I enjoyed reading both versions.

i agree with desecration human stupidity and weakness are infinite. self entitlement is also infinite

Noel coward started this a long time ago,”with revenge is a dish best served cold”