Welcome to the Club

He laughed. "You look tough enough to take on anything that comes your way. Fuck it, bring her along. It will give her a chance to see how you're going to be making a living."

For the next hour Tank and I worked on his bike. First we installed the newly rebuilt carburetor and then added the wheels and seats. Once we finished he fired it up. It sounded like a lion purring. He twisted the throttle, letting the lion roar.

I hopped on my bike and we took off on a ride around town. I'd enjoyed riding by myself earlier in the day, but riding with my new friend increased the pleasure. There was a camaraderie I'd not known before. After our ride we hung out, drinking and smoking, until Avril arrived home in her Nissan Leaf.

I walk over to greet her with a passionate kiss.

"Good thing you're changing back tomorrow, Milo. I don't know if I can get used to you smelling like beer and cigars." She ran a hand over my muscular pecs. "These I could get used to."

"Call me Snake," I said. When she rolled her eyes I added, "Just until I change back."

She sighed heavily. "Help me unload the car...babe."

"What's this?" I held up one of the shopping bags, "Cruise In - For all your cycling needs" was written its side.

"That's a surprise, so no peeking. I'll show you after dinner. I don't know about you, but I'm starved." She was carrying a bag of takeout. "I got your favorite from Thai Palace."

I grumbled to myself as I carried the shopping bags inside. I wanted to know what the surprise was and I didn't feel like waiting. I mustered up some willpower and resisted the urge to rifle through them when I set them in the bedroom. As I headed to the kitchen I started grumbling again. I didn't want Pad Thai with tofu. I wanted a steak or a burger with the works. I kept my mouth shut as we ate. If I played my cards right she might smoke a few more cigarettes and she'd want to eat a steak too.

After dinner Avril disappeared into the bedroom to prepare her surprise. She came out a minute later wearing a grey full-face helmet on her head. She flipped up the visor and smiled at me.

"I decided to go riding with you tomorrow. The sales clerk at the motorcycle store said that this was their safest helmet. I can return it for a full refund if I don't scratch it."

"You're too good to me."

She beamed. "I also bought you some clothes for tomorrow. I wasn't sure of your size so I bought a variety. I can return it all after you change back." She held up a black half helmet. "The sales clerk called this a beanie and said it's not as safe mine. I had a feeling you wouldn't want a full face helmet and I wanted you to wear something to protect that wonderful brain of yours." She looked up at me, a hopeful smile on her face. "Did I do good or what?"

"You did fucking amazing." I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

We fucked again. Afterwards I smoked a cigar while we lay together. She turned down an after sex cigarette and I didn't push it. I was having second thoughts on what I'd done to her. She was so good to me and I was such a shit. She'd do most anything to make me happy, even smoke a cigarette which she hated or ride a motorcycle which she feared. I needed go back to being Milo and let the love of my life continue being her sweet, wonderful self. It was the right thing to do, but it wasn't what I wanted.

I stared at the celling as I wrestled with my conflicting desires. Above all else, I didn't want to give up smoking. I loved smoking cigars now. Even if I did go back to being skinny, bland Milo, I'd continue to smoke cigars, albeit regular non-magical ones. After a lot of soul searching I finally made up my mind. I would use the cure and go back to being the old me. I'd do it for the woman I loved. After our motorcycle ride tomorrow afternoon, of course.

************

In the morning I made gluten-free vegan pancakes with organic blueberries. What I really wanted was some fucking eggs over easy along with about a pound of bacon and I wanted my woman to make it for me, but I needed to keep focused on my old life. I couldn't give into this one. It wasn't right. Fuck, I wanted a cigar! All I had in the house were the magical ones and if I smoked another one of those, Milo would be gone for good.

"Do you have any more of those cigarettes?" Avril asked after we finished eating.

"You don't have to smoke anymore."

"You were so sweet, making me my favorite breakfast; I want to do something nice for you. I know how much you love watching me smoke."

"It really isn't necessary, baby," I said. I yearned to see her smoke; there was little else I wanted more at the moment.

"I know it isn't necessary, but I want to smoke a cigarette anyway. I hear that they're great after a good meal. Come on, I'll make it worth your while." She ran her foot over my crotch.

I retrieved the cigarettes from their hiding place and tossed them onto the table.

She placed a cigarette in her mouth. "You got a light, handsome?"

I gazed at beautiful girlfriend, the lighter hidden in my fist. She looked so fucking sexy with the cigarette dangling from her lips. I screamed at myself not to light the thing, to grab it out of her mouth and tear it into shreds, along with all of the other enchanted smokes.

"Give me a light, Snake," Avril said, the cigarette bobbing up and down as she talked.

Hearing her say my new name shattered my resolve. I flicked the lighter to life and held it out to her. She leaned forward until the tip of her cigarette touched the flame and then sucked smoke into her lungs. She held it there for a couple seconds, not showing any urge to cough and then, with a look of pleasure on her face, she exhaled her smoke across the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to smoke with me?" she asked and then took another long drag.

"I'm out of cigars," I lied.

"I'll just have to smoke for the both of us." She exhaled smoke across the room and then took a cheek hollowing drag.

I grabbed the back of her head and shoved my tongue into her mouth. The taste of smoke in her mouth sent a thrill straight to my cock. She exhaled into my lungs as we continued to kiss, her hand tugging at my belt. While sinking to her knees she took another drag, pulled my cock from my jeans and ran her tongue along its tip, licking up my precum. A wicked grin spread across her face as she looked up at me and shot a cone of smoke toward my face.

"Still think this isn't necessary?" She sucked on her cigarette as she turned back to my cock.

She exhaled over my cock and then followed the smoke, taking half of my erection into her mouth. After working her tongue up, down and around she pulled away, took a drag and then swallowed me again, smoke pouring from her nose. She repeated this again and again until I erupted in her mouth. She swallowed, licked her lips and took a last drag off her cigarette.

"Holy Shit, it tastes even better mixed with your cum," she said as she crushed out her cigarette on her breakfast plate.

A half hour later she departed in her Leaf to meet her friend Daisy for some free trade coffee before going shopping. She promised to be back in time for our ride at noon. I hung around the house and stewed. I struggled with the decision upon me. I wanted to go ridding today. I wanted to thunder down the road with Avril sitting behind me, her arms wrapped around my waist, the wind in our faces, not a care in the world. But I feared that I'd reached the final turning point. If I didn't take the cure before we went riding I wouldn't want to go back to being my former, pathetic self.

************

With an hour left until the start of our ride I headed over to Tank's to tell him the bad news. I found him in his backyard punching an Everlast heavy bag. When he noticed me he paused, held up a single finger and went back to punching. Five minutes later he finished his workout. He grabbed a towel and an open Budweiser sitting on top of his cooler. He wiped sweat off his face before taking a long pull on his beer.

"Howdy, Snake. Sorry about the wait. I hate stopping in the middle of a workout. Want to take a turn. It's great for the upper body."

"Actually, I came over to tell you something."

"Give the bag a go." He tossed a pair of padded gloves to me. "I have a feeling you're going to love it."

I slid the gloves on and pulled the Velcro strap securely around my wrist. I threw a punch. It landed with a satisfying thud. The bag popped backwards a couple feet and then swung back and forth on its heavy chain. It was the first punch I'd thrown in nearly twenty years. It felt good. It felt right.

"That was a hell of a punch, Snake, and I bet that wasn't even half strength." Tank moved around to the other side of the bag and braced himself against the bag. He leaned into it like he was trying to push a car.

I threw another punch and it felt as good as the first. I threw another and another. I pummeled the bag with a succession of blows, each a little harder than the last. As I let loose I felt something grow in me, it was like a feeling of power mixed with dominance and a growing confidence that I could take on the world with my fists alone.

I'd never really struck anything before. Hell, I used to feel bad after hitting a ball with a bat. Punching the bag felt glorious and I knew that it would feel even better hitting another man, an adversary who'd try to avoid my powerful blows, but would find himself too slow and, unless he had a jaw made of granite, would be knocked out cold.

"Great workout, Snake," Tank said as he tossed me a towel after I finished my set. "Those guys better not start anything today or they won't know what hit them. I will. It'll be you." He let out a guffaw. "Cigar?"

I took the cigar from Tank and started toasting the end. After that workout I was having second thoughts about backing out on Tank. I found myself wishing that the guys would start some shit just so I could bust some heads. I took a puff, relishing the smoke in my lungs after such a good workout and then said, "I need to talk to you about the ride today."

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm going to take Avril for a ride around Lake Parnel and then I'm going to give both of us the antidote."

"If you want to take the antidote, fine, it's your life. Just don't leave me hanging, man. You said you were going to help and a man keeps his word."

"I'm sorry to let you down, Tank, but this is the way it has to be."

"Either of you boys got a light?" asked Avril from behind me.

I turned and nearly lost my shit. She stood at the gate to Tank's backyard with a hand on a cocked hip and an unlit cigarette dangling from her painted lips. From head to toe she was dressed in black leather; high heeled riding boots, sleek leather pants, leather riding gloves and a fringed leather jacket. The only two articles of clothing I could see that weren't leather were the Harley Davidson t-shirt under her jacket and the matching bandana she had tied around her neck.

"Don't just stand there with your chin on the ground, Snake. Give the lady a light."

"Yeah, Snake baby, give me a light," she said as she sauntered toward me, her cigarette bobbing as she talked.

My hand shook as I lit her cigarette. I could not wrap my head around how unbelievably sexy she looked in the black leather outfit. I didn't know if it was the tight leather pants or part of the magic, but her butt looked like it had filled out. I wanted grab her shapely ass and take her on the spot.

"I bought you some leathers too. I also picked up some other clothes. You don't want to go on our ride with Tank wearing sweats," she said and then exhaled to the side.

"We're not riding with Tank, baby. We're going to ride around Lake Parnel and then I'm going back to being Milo."

"I thought you said that he needed you on the ride," she said with a look of confusion.

"I sure as shit do," Tank interjected.

"I don't think it's a good idea. The ride around the lake will be fun."

"Baby, you can't just bail on Tank." She slipped her arm around my waist. "It's not right."

"You don't understand, besides being illegal there's a good chance I'll end up fighting. You don't want me being violent, do you?"

She looked lost in thought as she took a long pull on her cigarette. Smoke poured from her nose as she raised her cigarette for another drag. After about a minute she said, "Snake, you are built for fighting. Don't you think it would be a waste if you didn't get into a least one decent fight before you changed back?"

I grabbed her around the waist and lifted her to my lips. "God, I love you, Avril."

"I love you too, Snake. Hey, I should have a nickname too, don't you think?"

"Damn straight," Tank said. "You have something in mind?"

"Not yet," she said.

"Well, I'm sure something will come to us before the day is done."

Avril and I went home and she showed me the leathers she'd bought for me. I changed and when we headed back to Tank's place I was dressed head to toe in black leather, like my girlfriend. Instead of leather pants, I wore black leather chaps over jeans, my boots lacked a heel and my jacket wasn't fringed, but other than that we pretty much matched. We even had matching t-shirts and bandanas.

"We'll let's get this show on the road," Tank said as he straddled his motorcycle. He'd hooked up a cargo trailer to the back of his motorcycle while we'd been gone. "Hopefully this will go smooth, but I've never dealt with these guys before. I've been told they deal straight, but who knows."

"You haven't told me why we're meeting them," I said. "All I know is that it could be dangerous and isn't exactly legal."

"We're buying guns, lots of guns. Most we'll sell, but some we'll keep."

He fired up his Harley. Avril and I walked over to my bike, donning our helmets on the way. I threw my leg over the bike and hit the kickstand with the heel of my boot, sending it back to its riding position up against the body of the motorcycle. She climbed on behind me as I fired up the engine. I twisted the throttle a couple times and listened to the engine roar. I looked back at her and we shared a smile. I fired up a cigar as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I turned the bike around and followed Tank out of the neighborhood with a window shaking rumble.

************

The ride was everything I'd hoped it would be. We hit the freeway and broke 90mph in a couple seconds. We weaved through traffic and took to the shoulders whenever the slow pokes wouldn't get out of our way. I'd never been one for speeding in my former life, fearing a ticket from an officer of the law. Today, I only cared that I was riding next to my buddy with my lady holding on tight behind me. The faster, the better. Fuck the police.

I didn't want the ride to end. This is where I belonged now. On the road, on my bike, part of a team, with my lady love right along with me.

We left the freeway after an hour and rode on a series of side roads, each one in worse condition than the one before. While we couldn't hit the same speeds as on the freeway, these roads were hilly and full of curves. I was like riding a roller coaster. After a while the road turned to gravel and we began to climb. The gravel cut out eventually, turning into packed dirt. About halfway up a mountain, Tank led us down a horse trail. Fifteen minutes later we came to a clearing and he gave the signal to stop.

"Where are the other guys?" I asked as I removed my helmet. The scent of fresh pine filled the air. I pulled out my lighter and lit Avril's cigarette and then relit what was left of my cigar.

"They'll be along shortly. I wanted to get here first so we could see them arrive." He turned to Avril. "I want you to hide before they get here."

She spat smoke into the air. "Don't give me your macho bullshit. I have as much right to be here as you." She puffed furiously on her cigarette as she glared back at him.

"Do it for me, baby," I said. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."

She wrapped her arm around my waist and smiled up at me. "You want to protect me. You're so sweet."

I leaned down and kissed her. Tank pulled a paper bag out of the cargo trailer and tossed it into the bushes. The unmistakable sound of motorcycles echoed off the trees in the distance, drawing nearer quickly.

"That's your cue, Avril," Tank said.

She flashed him a nasty look. She adjusted her bra strap and then picked up her helmet off the seat of the motorcycle.

"Why you taking that?" Tank asked.

She laughed, smoke spurting from her mouth. "What do you think the other group will say if they see two guys and three helmets?"

"That's my girl, always thinking," I said.

She blew me a kiss and then disappeared behind a thick patch of ferns. Besides the occasional cloud of white smoke billowing from the patch of ferns, she was completely hidden. By the time the other group was in view the smoke clouds had stopped entirely.

I turned my attention to the four motorcycle riders as they entered the clearing. They circled us a couple times before coming to a stop. They parked in a line and dismounted from their bikes in near unison. Each of the men had an olive green duffle bag on his back. They each dropped their bag into a pile on the ground with a heavy metal clank.

The weren't very large, but they looked mean and at least two of them were armed. One had a shotgun and another had an automatic pistol sticking out of the waistband of his jeans. The one with the handgun stepped forward. He couldn't have weighed more than 180 pounds, but I had no doubt that he knew how to handle himself in a fight. Three teardrop tattoos ran down his face under his left eye.

"Who's your buddy, Tank?" he asked in a gravelly voice.

"I'm Snake," I said as I stepped forward with my hand outstretched.

The guy glared at me for a moment before turning his attention back to Tank.

"That's Snake, just like he said and he's my buddy, just like you said. Now, why don't you introduce your friends, Jerome?"

Without looking away, Jerome pointed over his shoulder at each guy in turn. "Patrick, Frank and Leroy. Now that we're all pals why don't you show me the cash?"

"Guns first."

Jerome took a step back and motioned toward the duffel bags. "By all means, check them out."

Tank removed a roll of canvas from the cargo trailer, carried it over to the duffel bags and then unfurled it onto the ground. The first bag he opened was full of handguns, a mix of automatics and revolvers. He picked out an automatic and took it apart quickly, laying each piece on the canvas mat. Once he had it fully disassembled he carefully checked each piece and then put it back together. The next bag held assault rifles.

While Tank field stripped an AR-15, I kept my eye on Patrick, Leroy and Frank. Leroy was my biggest concern. He carried the shotgun and he looked nervous, like he was expecting trouble. I figured Tank could handle Jerome. That left the three stooges for me. Three guys at one time would be tough. Three guys and a shotgun was a death sentence. I'd need to take out Leroy quickly and then hit Patrick and Frank at the same time otherwise whichever I didn't hit would have time to pull out whatever weapon they surely had hidden. I looked around at my feet for anything that might serve as a weapon. Near my foot, half buried in the hard ground, was a rock about the size of my fist. I started digging at it with the heel of my boot. Once I'd worked it free I squatted, picked up a small stick and used it to poke at the dirt like I was bored.

"Guns look good," Tank said when he finished field stripping a gun from each bag; a sawed off shotgun, Uzi, AR-15 and the automatic pistol lay side by side on the canvas mat. He walked over to the bushes, retrieved the bag of cash and then handed it to Jerome.