Welcome to the Club

"This all twenty five?" Jerome asked.

"No, that's the twenty grand we agreed on," Tank said.

With all eyes on Tank and Jerome I palmed the stone and stood.

"You've got your twenty so we're taking the guns," Tank grabbed the bag of pistols. "Grab a bag, Snake."

Jerome placed a hand on the butt of the pistol sticking out of his waistband. "You need five grand more. Drop the bag and get me some more cash."

"Tell you what. You keep the machine guns and we'll take the other three bags for the twenty."

"Guns are a package deal. It's twenty-five or nothing. Now hurry up. The price goes up to thirty in another minute."

"Fine, keep your guns!" Tank tossed the duffel bag at Jerome and charged him.

Leroy lifted the shotgun and I threw the rock at him while I ran at Patrick. The rock hit Leroy in the forehead and he dropped the shotgun as he sank to his knees. As I slammed into Patrick I saw Frank reach an arm around to the small of his back. I lifted Patrick and continued my charge, carrying Patrick into Frank. A gun skittered across the clearing as all three of us hit the ground. I sat up on Patrick, grabbed his head and used it to bash Frank's face. They still had their eyes open so I did it again. Satisfied that they wouldn't be getting back up anytime soon, I turned my attention to Leroy.

He was on his hands and knees, blood running down his face. He wiped at the blood while he groped blindly for the shotgun. I ran over to him, kicked him in the chest and bent to pick up the shotgun.

"Touch it and you're dead," Jerome yelled.

I froze and then slowly turned my head. Tank was on his knees, holding his nose, blood oozing between his fingers.

"For that, we're keeping the cash and the guns. If we ever see you two again we'll kill you. As it is, I think we'll leave you with a little souvenir."

Jerome pulled a switchblade from his pocket and flicked it open. He pointed it at Tank. I saw a streak of black shoot from the patch of ferns. Jerome turned toward the sound and Avril smashed his face with her helmet. His head whipped backwards, blood spurting from his nose.

I picked up the rock I'd thrown at Leroy and hurtled it at Jerome. He'd started to raise his gun at Avril when it hit him in the back of the head. He pitched forward, dropping the gun on his way to the ground. Avril picked it up and pointed it at his head, the gun shaking in her hand.

"Keep that gun on him, Avril," Tank said. "Snake, keep the others in check while I look for something to tie them up with."

I picked up the shotgun and moved to a spot where I had all three in a line. If any of them made I move I wanted to be ready to shoot.

"How you doing over there, Avril?" Tank dug in his cargo trailer, tossing out tools and other odds and ends.

"I'm fine." Her voice quivering as she spoke. "I don't think I'll be able to return the helmet now."

I laughed. The helmet lay on the ground at her feet, scratched and smeared with Jerome's blood.

"You saved our asses, Avril. The way you came blazing out of the bushes and hit him with your helmet—ah here it is." Tank held up a roll of duct tape. He ripped off a strip and placed it over Jerome's mouth. He pulled off a long strip and used it to tie his hands together. He walked over to Avril and took the hand gun from her. "You did great. Why don't you help Snake while I tie up these other yokels?"

She walked over to me. As she drew closer I saw tears in her eyes. I pulled her into a hug with one arm while I kept the shotgun trained on Patrick, Leroy and Frank. I looked down at her. She seemed to be a couple inches taller and a few pounds heavier, not that she'd gotten fat. She'd filled out in a nice curvy womanly way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded and wiped at her tears. She fumbled in her pockets for a bit before finally removing her cigarettes. Once she had one lit she said, "That was really messed up, Snake." She took a long drag.

"I'm sorry Avril. I'm sorry that I put you into danger. I'm sorry I gave you those cigarettes."

She released a thick cloud of smoke into the air. "I didn't say it was bad. It was messed up, but in a good way. I've never had that much excitement before. As for the cigarettes, I like smoking now. It seems like our lives have become a hell of a lot more fun since we started smoking."

"Okay, they're all tied up," Tank said. "You two want to help me search them?"

"I get that asshole." Avril pointed at Jerome. She trotted over to him and kicked him in the crotch. "You ever point a gun at my man again and I'll make you a fucking eunuch."

Jerome screamed into his gag and curled into a ball. Avril searched him while I searched Leroy and Tank searched the other two. I came up with a hunting knife, cell phone and a 9mm Beretta. I looked over and saw that Tank was smashing Patrick's and Frank's cell phones, so I smashed Leroy's. I looked over to Avril. She'd picked up Jerome's switchblade off the ground and was flicking it open and closed dangerously close to his face. She smoked furiously and was on her third cigarette by the time we'd packed up the guns.

"I've got a nickname for you, Avril," Tank said as he dragged Jerome over to his three buddies. "From now on your biker name is Blaze."

Avril beamed with pride.

"So, Blaze, would you like a Harley of your own?"

Shel walked over to the line of bikes and then touched the seat of Jerome's motorcycle. "I want this one." She flicked her cigarette to the side and straddled the bike.

"It's yours, Blaze. Snake, why don't you slash the tires and cut the fuel lines of the other three?" He turned toward Jerome. "We're going to leave now. We're taking the guns and the cash. Just because I'm such a good guy I'm going to pay you for Blaze's new hog and for the damage to the other bikes." Tank tossed a couple stacks of cash onto the ground. "I'm also leaving you a knife. You can use it to cut your bonds after we leave. There's a town about a day's walk south." He tossed the hunting knife into the dirt twenty feet away from them.

We mounted our bikes. Tank led with Avril following on Jerome's motorcycle. She rode the Harley like she'd been ridding for years just like I had after smoking the cigars. As I followed I saw her long, dark hair flapping in the wind. She was changing, just as I had; she was becoming a real biker chick. As hot as it was seeing her become this total bad ass, I still felt guilty. She was no longer the person she'd been and I'd forced this change on her. I decided to come clean with her and tell her the truth.

************

An hour into the ride we pulled into the empty parking lot of a small diner. It looked like we were the only customers which suited us. We were dirty and had just been fighting. We didn't want to deal with the public. As we entered I pulled Avril aside.

"I need to talk to you, baby."

"Hold that thought," she said. "I need to pee."

Tank took a seat at one on the booths while I waited outside the bathrooms for my girlfriend. A waitress in her thirties and a tired looking body moseyed over to Tank. I heard him ask for a picture of beer and three steaks medium-rare. When Avril emerged from the bathroom she had the bottom of her t-shirt tied into a knot, exposing her waist. I pulled her outside.

"I need to confess to you, Avril," I said. "It was the cigars that were changing me. They were enchanted. When I picked up the antidote, then guy at the store gave me the cigarettes that you've been smoking. They're changing you into an outlaw biker, just like the cigars changed me."

"Holy shit." She shook her head and then looked down at her body. "Well, that explains why I had to throw out my bra just now." She cupped her breasts which look like they'd grown a couple cup sizes. Her fingernails were at least an inch longer.

"I'm sorry I tricked you. I was having such a good time as my new self and the idea of you changing turned me on. I shouldn't have done it. I have the antidote. We can take it and change back."

"You're right, you shouldn't have tricked me, but I'm glad you did. I've had an awesome time today. We can talk about changing back tonight. Right now I want to be Blaze. She's fucking kickass and I'm loving every minute being her."

"Tank ordered us steaks. I can order something else for you."

"Fuck that. I'd love a steak."

We reentered and joined Tank. The pitcher had arrived and he was filling our glasses with beer.

He held up a glass. "To the newest member of our motorcycle club and the woman who hauled our sorry asses out of the fire: Blaze."

We clinked glasses and chugged our beers. While I poured a refill for everyone, Tank dug in his bag and Blaze lit a cigarette.

He slid a stack of cash toward me. "Snake, that's for taking on three guys at once." He slid another stack toward Blaze. "And that's for saving the day. And Snake wanted to go riding around the lake."

I laughed. "That was Milo talking."

The waitress hurried over to the table in a huff. "There is no smoking in the restaurant!"

"There ain't anyone else here so I ain't bothering anyone. Now be a good little girl and go back to your shitty fucking job." Blaze blew smoke into the waitress's face.

"If you do not extinguish that cigarette you will have to leave!"

Blaze removed the switchblade from her leather jacket, flicked it open and jammed the blade into the table.

"Go get our steaks, bitch!"

The waitress ran into the back. A half minute later a large man wearing a dirty white apron emerged. Blaze jumped up and yanked the knife out of the table. I stood and placed a hand on her arm.

"I'll take this one, Blaze." I walked over to the cook. "Listen, pal. We've had a hard day and we want to relax, eat a steak, drink a couple pitchers and smoke." I pulled a wad of money from my pocket and peeled off a couple hundred dollar bills. "Take these for your trouble and go back to cooking our food. Or you can continue to raise a stink and you'll have more trouble than you can handle." I squeezed his shoulder. "And buddy, don't think even think about calling the cops. That'll just get you killed."

The cook pocketed the cash and walked back to the kitchen.

Blaze scooted over and I sat back down. Tank pulled a small humidor from his pocket. He handed me a cigar and kept one for himself. We lit up and joined Blaze in a nice relaxing smoke. Before the steaks arrived we'd filled the restaurant with a thick, smoky haze. The waitress didn't show her face up front again. The cook delivered us our meal. I'm not sure if he was lousy at his job or if he was getting back at us, but the steaks were overcooked and the baked potatoes were underdone. Still, it felt good to eat a real meal for a change.

************

When we arrived back home Tank invited us to a local tavern. He said that it was his favorite watering hole and he wanted to make it our official hangout. Blaze said that it sounded like fun, but needed to see her friend and would meet us later. I helped Tank store the guns while Blaze headed home to clean up before heading out.

Thirty minutes later she emerged from the house, looking like her old self. She wore a sun hat, a pair of Birkenstock sandals, and a tent dress that hid her figure. I ran over to her as she unlocked the door to her Nissan Leaf. Both her nails and hair were short again. I gazed at her chest; her breasts were gone. I wondered if she'd taken the antidote, but then she smiled at me. It was her new, confident, "I can fucking take care of myself" smile.

"They're hiding under a couple rolls of elastic wrap," Blaze said, as if reading my mind. "I'm meeting Daisy and I don't want her to think I got a boob job since I saw her this morning. With my hair and body hidden I look mostly like my old self."

"You could take the antidote now. You don't have to wait until tonight."

"I already called Daisy and told her that I'd meet her. I'll take the antidote tonight when you do." She kissed me. "Damn, I want really want a fucking cigarette." She climbed into her car and drove off.

An hour later Tank and I got on our hogs and rode to his favorite tavern, Shady Place. It consisted of two buildings set on its own private lot. Loud rock music poured from the main building as we entered. A banner announced that "Lookin' 4 Trouble" was playing live tonight. Three guys who looked like they were still in high school were up a small stage playing music. They were pretty good. The place had twenty tables or so tables, most of which were empty.

The bartender placed a pitcher of Budweiser on the bar before either of us spoke. Tank slapped down a twenty as I grabbed the beer. He led me out the back and along a short awning covered path to a second, smaller building. The building held several pool tables, a couple dart boards, and wall to wall speakers which piped in music from the live band in the main room.

"The best thing about Shady Place is you can smoke in the back room," Tank said as he pulled a couple cigars from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. "You have to fetch your own drinks, but that's a small price to pay for being able to smoke while drinking, playing pool and listening to live music. You can see why I want to make this our hangout."

I poured beer into our glasses while he prepped the cigars. "It has been a great ride Tank and I wish you every success with your motorcycle club, but Blaze and I aren't going to be a part of it. We're taking the antidote tonight."

"Anyway I can talk you out of it?" He handed me a lit cigar.

I pulled in the delicious smoke. "No, I need to do this for Avril. She's got a life and a family that loves her. It's the right thing to do."

"I respect that, Snake. I'd like to stay friends when you're Milo again. I hope you'll feel the same way."

"Me too, buddy. Me too."

We were working on our second cigars and third pitcher when Blaze arrived. She was back in her leathers and high heeled riding boots. She'd lost the sun hat and her long black hair flowed in waves down the back of her fringed, leather jacket. Her nails were long and painted the same fire engine red as her lips. She had a diamond stud in her nose and a small hoop in her right eyebrow. There was another woman with her. The second woman also wore a leather jacket and a few facial piercings. She was a little heavier than Blaze, but carried it well. She looked like the kind of woman you didn't want to piss off.

"Sorry we're late," Blaze said as she lit her friend's cigarette and then her own. "Daisy and I made a pit stop at the Perfect Piercings."

I looked back at woman with Blaze. She was exhaling through her nose as she double pumped on her Marlboro 100. Behind the makeup, diamond nose stud and the confident look was Daisy, Avril's best friend. She'd lost weight and gained height. Her dumpy pear shaped body had morphed into an exaggerated hour glass.

"Tank, I'd like you to meet my friend, Daisy. She's recently discovered that she's into bikers like me. When I told her that you're single she wanted to meet you."

He walked over to Daisy with his hand extended. "I'm pleased to meet you, Daisy. You ever ridden a motorcycle?"

She exhaled a lungful of smoke up into his face. "I rode with Blaze on the way over here. Are you really the leader of your own motorcycle gang?"

"You bet your sweet little ass." He placed his hand on the small of her back and led her across the room.

I led Blaze outside. "What is going one? What have you done to your best friend?"

"I think it's pretty fucking obvious what I did to her," Blaze said. She gave me a defiant look as she exhaled smoke toward the moon.

"Why would you do that to your best friend? I don't know if we have enough of the antidote to change her back. I'll have to go back to The Tobacconist to get more and I doubt he's open this time of night."

"She doesn't want the antidote. She's had this fantasy about dating a real alpha male like Tank for years, but she's always been too timid. She is loving her new self so far and I don't think that she's done changing yet." She took a puff. "Want to see something trippy?" She pulled her switchblade from her pocket, flicked it open and started cutting off her hair. "Now watch this." She took a deep drag and held it. Her hair started growing. It was fully restored in a couple seconds. She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "It kind of tickles when it grows."

"Jesus, that is cool." I sucked on my cigar. I wondered if my cigars would re-grow my hair or restore a tattoo if I had it removed. "So, how did Daisy change so fast? It took you half a pack before the physical changes started."

"She smoked a couple of them earlier today, while we shopped together. We were sitting outside drinking coffee at a café and I felt like having a cigarette. She used to smoke years ago and when she saw me smoking she decided to join me. When I met up with her tonight I told her what the cigarettes would do to her. She's been chain smoking for the last couple hours to make the changes happen quicker."

"Won't it be weird when you're back to normal and she's a tough, chain-smoking, biker chick?"

"I don't want to go back. I want to stay Blaze and I want you to stay Snake."

My cock swelled. "Are you sure, Blaze?"

She grabbed her breasts, which had grown from oranges to honey dew melons since our adventure at the diner. "You're crazy if you think I'm giving up my tits, now that I've actually got a decent pair."

I picked her up and kissed her. "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that." I dropped my cigar to the ground and pulled out one of the enchanted cigars. I lit it and took a deep drag, letting the magic finish its work on me. "Let's go inside and tell Tank the good news."

When we entered the back room Daisy was leaning over a pool table, puffing away on a cigarette, ash piling up on the green felt, while Tank pounded into her from behind.

Blaze turned to me. "That looks like fun. Let's do that, too." She rubbed at my crotch through my jeans.

I picked her up and set her on the neighboring pool table. I put my cigar in my mouth and yanked down her leather pants and black thong. She yanked down her bikini top, exposing her breasts. Silver rings hung from her inch long nipples. I freed my cock, slid into my amazing girlfriend as she wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me in deeper. We both continued smoking while we fucked, blowing smoke into each other's faces as we slammed into each other.

I looked over at Tank as he rocked back and forth into Daisy from behind. He used one hand to grip pool table as leverage and the other to grope Daisy's generous tits. He looked over at me and gave me a big smile, as if to say, "Ain't this the life."

A couple guys walked into the backroom, one of them carrying a pitcher of beer. They stopped talking and looked at us, their mouths agape.

"Back room is closed," I said.

The guy without the pitcher turned to leave, but his buddy didn't budge, his expression of shock turning to a sick leer. "Can we get a turn after you're done?"

Daisy picked up the cue ball and threw it at the guy, narrowly missing his head. "Get the fuck out of her or I'll fuck you up the ass with a pool cue!" She picked up the eight ball and hurled it at him, this time hitting the pitcher of beer. The guy ran out of the room, dripping beer as he went.

************

The next morning I rode my hog to see The Tobacconist. I entered his store to the welcoming smell of fresh tobacco. The proprietor stood behind the counter in the exact same position he'd been standing in the last time I'd seen him two days prior.

"Welcome back, I see that you've decided against using the antidote, a wise decision in my opinion. May I ask how your girlfriend liked the cigarettes? Her name is Avril, correct."