We're Sluts for Stats

"God, yes. The usual, please. I suppose we could... Nah, that might be a bit much." Jo said.

"I'll have the pear cider, please. And what's a bit much?" Vicky asked.

"Well, I was thinking we could let them fuck us. Guaranteed stiff dicks, less work for us, everything captured neat and tidy in a condom. We get our data, they get a big thank you. Also, it would be quicker than a hand or blow job. I've tugged guys for ten minutes without them showing any sign of coming. Swapped to my mouth or fanny and bang! Cum surprise."

Daz and Vick stared open-mouthed at Jo. Finally, Vicky said, "You're kidding. You want us to be fucked by one hundred guys. You have to be joking."

"Well, it's not a hundred each," Jo said defensively. "And I did say it might be a bit much."

"Still, even thirty or so each. Geez... That's a hell of a pounding for my vag in a day. Any of ours. Even you Jo, with your high flow lubrication system." Daz added. She came back from the fridge and passed around the drinks. "Still, you do raise a good point. Time requirements. How long is it likely to take?"

"Good question. I think further research is required. Let's each do a technique and come back next Sunday. How's that sound?" Jo said.

"No worries," Vicky replied. "Dibs on fucking. That should be easy."

"I'll do the blow jobs," Daz said quickly. "I know there's a heap of real, not faux amateur stuff online."

"Great," grumbled Jo. "I get hand jobs. The soy decaf latte of the sex world."

=====

"Well, that was some fun research. I decided to look at gang bangs or group sex. A lot out there, but not a lot with average guys. European goo girls and some really weird Japanese ones. Fun to watch though," Vicky said, unconsciously rubbing her inner thigh.

"Glad you got some data. I got nothing useful at all. They all seemed to be of some woman yacking to the camera while sucking the guy off." Daz nodded at Vicky rubbing herself. "Looks like the research left an impression on you."

"Oh, ah. Yeah. Maybe. Gotta say it was an odd way to watch porn. Video running on the laptop, stopwatch on my phone, carefully watching for entry and judging when the guy cums, then recording the time. Took all the fun out of it."

Jo laughed, "Yep. Handjobs were the same as you, Daz. The girls all looked like they were trying to make it last as long as possible. Five plus minutes was normal. Also in most cases, it wasn't a straight handjob. A bit of a lick, the occasional deepthroat, and a lot of talk. Still, it gave me a few ideas."

Vicky crossed her arms over her chest and giggled. "The worst thing was I was watching this Japanese girl get creampied by twenty-one guys, one after the other. Practically no break between them. It looked like she was having fun for the first five, then it wasn't so good. Anyway, I had my gaming headphones on noise-cancelling and Mum came in behind me with a coffee. I nearly peed myself when I realised she was there. Fuck..."

"And what did she say?" Daz laughed.

"She just said I must be working on one strange Uni project, and put my coffee down. I have no idea how long she was there, but she said she hoped the guys all bought that girl dinner afterwards because she deserved it for putting up with their ugly wangs."

Jo snorted, and hurriedly tried to find a tissue. Daz started coughing and turned red as her coffee went down the wrong way.

"Seriously, your mum said that?" Jo asked, wiping snot from her nose. "Mine would have torn strips off me. It would be so inappropriate for a 'lady' like me to watch such degenerate stuff."

"Tell you what, I was mortified but really surprised. I thought Mum would've said something very different. Anyway, I explained our project in general terms, and what I was doing. She just nodded, and said 'I hope you know what you're doing, and don't tell your Dad.'"

"Wow," said Daryl. "I've always liked your mum. She's just gone up a couple of rungs in my esteem."

Vicky smiled and slowly nodded, "Yeah, true. Tell you what, as icky as it sounds, I think Mum liked what she saw. She really gave it to Dad that night. I really need to get a full time job and find my own place soon. Being next door to their bedroom isn't a lot of fun for any of us. I mean, I know on one level it's how I came to be, but I still don't like thinking about it or hearing their headboard bouncing off the wall. And I really don't want to invite a guy home if they're going to be there."

"Know what you mean," said Jo. "I can't wait to move out so I can have some hard banging sex in my own bed. One good thing - my parents have promised to buy a house for me to 'rent' when I graduate, but it will actually be mine. They're using it as a tax dodge..."

"That's a really nice thing for them to do. I don't know what I'll do after I graduate. Love to get out of this dog box. It's convenient, but not that cheap." said Daryl. "Anyway... What did you find, Vick?"

"Ok, so before Mum interrupted me, I searched for amateur gang bang or group sex. I specifically looked for vids where the women were fucked by at least four blokes. I also made a call about which ones had truly amateur guys. There's one Japanese studio that seems to specialise in that category, so when I found one it was easy to search for others. They were uncensored, which was even better. The European ones were harder to pick, but I found a few done in sex clubs with average looking men fucking professionals. There's that word again, average... Anyway, so I tried to time from entry to when they came. And the average time fucking is..." Vicky did a drum roll on the table with her hands. "One minute and five seconds."

"You're shitting me? That's it? A minute only? Geez, no wonder I have a hard time cumming on a cock," Jo said, slowly shaking her head.

"Yup. I was surprised, but there you go. Three Japanese, two Czech, one German and one British. All pretty consistent. Obviously, the guys were wanking themselves before intercourse but I think overall the results speak for themselves."

"That's all well and good, but it still doesn't answer how we are going to get our data. Let's assume that fucking is the most time-efficient way to get results. A guy wanders up, drops his dacks, gets hard because Jo is aiming her brown pokies at him, she measures up, drops him to the ground and has her way with him. He cleans up, gets dressed and leaves. Say that's ten minutes. Overall we need... Umm, over 16 hours. Even if we have a big tent and rotate two on, one off, that's a full day of fucking. And even over two days, four hours of solid sex? I'd be fucked in more ways than one." Daz started rubbing her temples. "Oh, my vag hurts just thinking about it."

"Well," said Jo, "How about this? We set a limit of five minutes. No sex. If they're not hard, they're out with just a thank you. We just keep going until the numbers are there. Look, I reckon if we wear bikinis and juggle some hairy balls, most guys would get hard."

"I'll go along with that," Vicky said. "Watching those amateur women getting pounded was - disturbing. I'm sure they thought it would be fine, but by the time they got halfway through the gangbang you could tell most of them didn't want to be there anymore. To be honest, I don't want to do that."

"Fair enough," said Daz. "It definitely wasn't high on my list of fun things to do. I don't want a gut full of cum either, and handjobs just take forever."

"No worries then," said Jo. "So we get a large tent. We all wear bikinis because we're hot - don't shake your head Daz, you're wearing one because you are. Big tits are cool! One of us stays outside to record the guy's basic details and maybe simple measurements like height and feet size. That'll keep the festival cops happy. First person gives him a numbered ticket and he goes inside to be measured. The number will keep his data synced. He leaves, repeat. How's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Vicky. "All we need then is to sort out how we measure. It needs to be quick and repeatable so we all are doing it the same way."

"I was thinking about that," said Daryl. "Length is easy, going by what I read. We get a few thick plastic rulers and nip the ends off so there's no blank space at the beginning. Press the ruler over the dick until it hits the pubic bone and measure to the tip. We'll use millimetres because I sure as fuck have a hard time figuring out fractions of an inch. I'll get a couple of cheap plastic vernier callipers with digital displays so we can quickly measure width. Easier than girth. A quick clean with an antiseptic wipe, and they'll be ready for the next."

"The methodology sounds about right," said Jo. "It would be nice to practice our technique before we do it for real, just to make sure we're all consistent."

"Yeah, but we all seem to be lacking the critical element. Access to a dick." Vicky sighed.

"Yeah, true." Jo stood and went to the kitchen. "Shame we don't have boyfriends. I'm sure they wouldn't mind having their tackle assessed by another girl."

"Yep. Still, some of the dickheads we've gone out with? Glad they're not around." Daz said. "Can you grab me a mineral water, please?"

"No worries. Vick?"

"Same thanks. Well, what about Steve? He's the most recent, and you never told us if you'd see him again."

"I suppose I could ask. I just wasn't interested in him, you know? I just went out with him so I could tick the BBC off the bucket list, which I still have to do..." Jo came back and sat down. "That would be a fun conversation. 'Hey Steve, my friends and I are doing our final year project, and we want to measure your cock. No, all of us. Individually.' Yeah, right."

"Well, it's a good idea, but don't ask him like that. Just say we have an issue with the project that only someone like him can resolve. Be vague. Play to his ego. You can be really good at that." Daryl said, laughing.

Jo poked out her tongue and threw a pretzel at Daryl. "Moo you. Ok, I'll ask. I'll figure out something to say."

Daryl grabbed the flying pretzel and ate it. "Don't dirty my flat. It's bad enough as it is. See if you can get him here sometime over the weekend. How about we shout him pizza and beer?"

"Yeah, no worries." agreed Jo and Vick.

=====

"Ladies, how are y'all doing?" Steve said, nodding to Vicky and Daryl after Jo introduced them. He wasn't quite sure what was going on. Josephine had ridden him hard into the ground on their first date and then left him alone. Until now. He wasn't used to that. He was supposed to be the conqueror but halfway through their date, he started to suspect that she was the predator. Not that he minded. She was a great fuck, and what the other guys didn't know didn't matter. "Josephine said you have a problem with a project. I'm happy to help if I can."

Daryl waved Steve to a chair in the small lounge room. "Grab a seat. Yeah, we're in a bit of a spot. We got stuck with Jonesy's 'Project Management for Diverse Teams' as an elective. It took a while but we think we've got a good, practical project that actually has commercial benefits. The trouble is, we're having problems with the data collection. We need to source a critical item to test the methodology, and Jo thinks you might be willing to help."

Steve sat back and scratched his head. Josephine had been very vague about their project but had hinted that she would be very grateful for his help. He slowly looked at the three women. Daryl and Vicky were sitting together on a beanbag and Jo on an office chair. Vicky looked like she wouldn't hurt a fly and Daryl looked like she could be an Offensive Guard. No, a Centre. One big, smart girl... Jo was - interesting. All three were staring at him. First impressions had gone. He now had the distinct feeling that he was a sheep that had willingly walked into a raptor pit.

"So, Professor Jones' class? I'm glad I dodged that bullet. What are y'all doing?"

"Determining the current average Australian penis size and its application to the condom industry," Vicky said, trying to keep a straight face.

Steve leaned forward. "Pardon? I'm sorry, did you say..."

"Determining the current average Australian penis size and its application to the condom industry," Daz finished. "We needed something that had a commercial application and that touched on one of our core subjects. Human anatomy, statistics, and business practices."

"We have everything sorted, except one key aspect. Penis measurement. The method is sorted, but before we do the fieldwork we want to get in some practice first." Vicky added.

"Umm, ok..." Steve said slowly, "So does that mean you want?"

"We all want to measure your penis," Jo said. "We want to make sure our methodology is right, and we all get similar results. In return, you get a mention in our report, pizza, beer and us. Girls?"

At that call, the three stood and removed their shirts and shorts.

"Holy shit! Wow, I... umm. Ok. Seeming it's for science." Steve stammered.

"Jo! You're supposed to be wearing a bikini! Geez, girl..." Daryl said, slowly shaking her head.

'Well, he's seen my bits before, so I didn't think it was necessary. It's not like either of your's hide much," she retorted.

"But it was part of the process! Anyway Steve..." said Vicky. "Is it a deal?"

"I guess, but to be clear. You want to all measure my dick, and in return, I get pizza, beer and to watch y'all check me out?"

"Not quite," said Jo. She sauntered over in front of him and ran a hand through his short hair. "We're yours for the rest of the night. Whatever. You. Want."

Steve tried to stare at her eyes, but his kept falling to where she was pointing at him. 'Holy crap. No way in hell anyone would believe this,' he thought. He looked over at Daryl who was leaning against a door frame, arms folded under her bust. "Is it April Fools Day? You're serious? It's not a joke?"

"Nope," replied Daz. She slowly lifted each boob out of its fabric sling and slowly massaged them. "We're serious. Jo needs at least a Credit to keep her GPA up and her parents happy." She cupped her boobs and tweaked her nipples. "We've been working on this for a while, and I really don't want to start again just because we don't want to put in a bit of extra work. So, watcha reckon? Is it a deal?"

The girls watched a wide range of emotions flash across Steve's face. Confusion, lust, happiness, worry, more confusion, more lust... Vicky slowly stepped over to him and ran a hand down Jo's naked back and butt before sitting in his lap. Steve's eyes bulged and his tongue flicked out to lick his top lip. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as Vicky draped her arms around his neck.

"Deal." He opened his eyes and grinned at the freckled face smiling in front of him. "You know, I would've done it just for pizza and beer."

"Damn. We should have opened with that, instead of offering everything up front," laughed Vicky.

"You wouldn't make good poker players. If you've got a winning hand, don't go all in straight up." Steve replied. He hesitantly ran his hands over Vicky's back, not sure how things were going to proceed.

"True," said Daz, tucking her boobs back into her bikini, "but we were going with shock and awe tactics."

"Well, you succeeded. I'm totally in awe of you guys. I cannot believe you're doing this project and shocked with what you're prepared to do to get a pass." He ran his fingers over Vicky's hips and drew in a deep breath. "What now? I guess I'm just a tool for you to use. No pun intended..."

Daryl went over to her small desk and picked up a ruler and a vernier calliper. "And here's our tools. Jo, would you like to start on our subject. Just record your numbers somewhere, then we'll compare them in a bit."

"No worries. Vick, can you please shift your bum off our test cock? Ta... Steve, could you please stand and drop your dacks?"

Steve stood and slowly removed his pants. Jo dropped to her knees in front of him, and the other two stood each side.

"This is really weird," said Steve, looking at the three women staring at his freshly released penis.

"Shhh... Science in progress..." Jo said. She tapped his tip and grunted. "Seems fully hard. I'll just check..."

"Oh my gosh..." Steve groaned as Jo slowly deep throated him, held herself for what seemed an eternity, then pulled back.

"Yeah, that's about it. So, we push hard at the root until we feel the pubis?"

"Yep. Apparently so," confirmed Daz.

"Righto then." Jo picked up the ruler and placed it on top of Steve's cock. "That curve needs to be flattened. Feels great inside, but it's a pain for this." She pushed a finger above his junction until she felt his bone. "It needs to go in a bit. Tell me if this hurts," she said, pushing the ruler into his flesh and holding his penis flat.

"Umm, just a bit uncomfortable. The edges are a bit sharp."

"Noted," said Daz. "Sorry about that."

"Ok, got that number. Verniers please." Jo asked, and Vicky slapped the device into her outstretched hand. "Don't shrink Steve, this will just take a sec."

Jo quickly measured his diameter in a couple of places and wrote down the numbers. She lightly held his balls and kissed the tip of his cock. "Thank you. Next!"

Vicky took Jo's position in front of Steve and looked up at him. "Good afternoon Steve, I'm Vicky and I'll be measuring your cock today. Thank you for volunteering for this project, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we are."

Steve laughed and ran his fingers through Vicky's curly flame red hair. She sighed, and said, "Please don't distract the measuring staff. That can come later."

She held his cock and slowly stroked it three times. Nodding her satisfaction, she copied Jo's measuring technique and quickly wrote down her numbers. Vick stared at the dark cock slowly pulsing in front of her. "You'd better hurry Daz. I don't think our test subject can take much more of this."

Steve gave a nervous laugh. "Hell yeah. It's a challenge, holding it together. You ladies are something special."

Daryl knelt down beside Vicky, who gave the dick one long look before slowly standing. Daryl smacked her arse and said, "Work first, play later. Grab the pizza menu so Steve can have something to concentrate on besides us."

Vicky poked out her tongue and skipped off to the kitchen. Daryl ran her thumb up Steve's urethra and caught his long drip of precum on her tongue. "Just be a tick, then the fun begins."

"Here you go. The pepperoni is great." Vick suggested as she handed the menu to Steve.

He nodded gratefully and tried to focus on the writing. He vaguely heard Daryl say she was done, then a feeling of coolness enveloped his protesting dick.

"Sheeee-art," he groaned. "Oh God, this is not what I was expecting today." He looked down at Daryl, who had engulfed his penis in her now bikini free breasts. "You guys are crazy, you know?"

"We've been told that. Excuse me, I can't talk with my mouth full." She squeezed her tits around Steve's increasingly stressed cock and slowly lowered her mouth.

"So, what looks good Steve?" Jo asked, sidling up to him and scratching the nape of his neck.

"She's talking about the pizza, not her tits," Vicky clarified, moving to his other side and removing his shirt.

"Cupreshosha pwease," mumbled Daz, concentrating on the meal in her mouth.

"I know, the usual for you. Jo will have a chicken satay, and I'll have a Hawaiian. It's just Steve," Vicky said, slowly rubbing Steve's chest.

Steve stared at the blurry menu. His mind was having a hard time processing what was happening. One woman tit fucking him and giving him a blowjob, another completely naked squeezing his ass and biting his nipple, and the third in a very small blue bikini now rubbing his back and flicking her friend's nipple. "Pepperon-nggg!" he gasped.