by arisamorak
Jeez, finish a couple of these stories before starting new ones!
The parents dying was a bit abrupt, but the plot is interesting so far. Write more!
This chapter was much less enticing than the first. The largest problem I think I had, was with the killing of the parents. Cheap way to make it easier for yourself, and not satisfying for us. You just wanted any easy out. I don't mind short chapters, but if they are, please put a little time into making the plot strong. Grammar and spelling are easy for an editor to fix at a later date, but when you weaken the plot, you seriously damage things...the parents didn't need to die yet. Also, I seriously lost respect for Nicholas, and for your character-building skills. Not arousing or interesting. I did not enjoy any of this chapter....this being said, I have read and re-read your first chapter 4 times. It was exciting, hopeful. I think I will probably read that first chapter again, but I'm not sure if I'll continue to follow the rest of the story...
just the chapters are short. i do hope that they expand as time goes on, or that they are posted quickly if they are to be so brief
the spelling doesn't matter to me, but i wish the chapters were a little longer. keep writing
I like the story theme, but with the spelling errors it is hard to read. I spend nearly as much time trying to figure out the correct spelling of a word and then what word the author should have used to convey what he wanted to say as I do reading:-( Definitely get an editor to help with the spelling and flow. Keep writing, I want to know what happens, as well as watch your development as a writer.
...continue to read it, too many spelling mistakes together with incorrect idioms makes it unreadable. Get someone to proofread please.
Good second chapter personally I don't care about the grammar and misspellings ( usally fix in my head while I read so I don't notice half them) but the chapters could be a bit longer
You really need an editor or a spell checker there are so many spelling errors in this it makes it very hard to read please try and sort this out as the story is a good one and I'm intrigued