All Comments on 'What the Hell is Going On?'

Interesting!

5

I'm not sure about this one. Obviously, the point is a joke can go too far or be taken the wrong way, and in those cases the joke should be avoided. I'm not sure if the gun at the end was meant to kill Harvey or for Betsy to commit suicide - in either case their relationship has serious issues. Maybe with a lot of counseling they can fix it; maybe not and they do need to divorce.

A good effort, enjoyable but rushed. Everything happened way too quickly. Also, Doug is a dick for agreeing to do that. I suspect Betsy may have cheated with him at some point.

Also, not sure about what the pistol implied - was she going to shoot herself, or Harvey?

Still 5 stars. (If a story really sucks, I don't bother leaving score.)

Dumbest story I’ve read in a while.

When I was a kid my dad made what he called friday soup. when we had too many leftovers he would throw them in a crockpot with some pasta and broth regardless of what the leftovers were or if they would go together. This story is LW cliche friday soup

Too many plot holes.

3 stars

Okay until that last bit about the loaded gun. Then the story went crazy.

Average at best. AA++

Good story! Never was hip to practical jokes or April Fools jokes. They can cause too much pain. 5 BIG FAT STARS!

no telling how screwed up those twins are with these two for parents

This ridiculous piece of shit belongs in the garbage.

Frankly, she should just divorce her asshole of a husband, take half his shit and force him to pay alimony, health care and half his pension….or do we just reward shitty behaviour from men?

I don't think it's possible to tell us about two more fucked up people, like Harvey and Betsy. The story you've told was just awful.

???

Really good plot and a fresh take on an old premise. You need an editor. Maybe do a re-read. Harvey’s cell phone isn’t mentioned 5 times. Twice, it’s been left in the couple’s bedroom. The other 3 Harvey has taken it with him. They’re just little things, but they screw up an otherwise, great story and make it seem as if you submitted it in a hurry. 4/5.

Cookingwithgas

I don't think either one will prank the other ever again, at least not if they have even half the sense God gave mice.

What is this, an episode from I Love Lucy?

And?

Good one.

These two both need to be in a psych ward.

That was funny.

I think the bullet was for him.

Hahaha

/

Nice work Skippy47.

A great story on the danger of playing mean pranks on your spouse. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

What marriage?

Harvey is a piece of shit! She was wrong in the outset, but like most of these stories, the husband is a pussy who lays down his phone or doesn't answer it, goes nuts before talking, then pulls the same shit. Fat, lazy slob.

Very apt title. What the hell is going on ?? This is the most ludicrous story I have read in years. I found it so confused and mixed up. Not very well thought out. Sorry.

When she called his cell phone the time of the missed call would be recorded. Not a bad story at all.

A man of action! But...all she needed to do to prove her leaving was a prank was to use the cell phone records, and the timing of the calls she made. D

Instigating a prank often backfires

Harvey is a twat

Some jarring errors that mess up your story at the end - both Betsy and Doug say that Harvey DID take his phone and that was the reason he couldn't be contacted. Then when Harvey and Amanda returned, Harvey called Amanda to come downstairs.

Betsy is stupid pulling the prank. Harvey went into a very quick reaction, he obviously wanted out or it would have taken more than 10 minutes to get out. He didn't put up much objection to Betsy going out either, despite what he told the counsellor, that and the lie about his amnesia, he was no better than Betsy, possibly worse.

Actually worse, proven by pulling a similar prank knowing full well how hard it hit him and how he reacted, if the accounts of his mother were to be believed, he was nearly suicidal, so why wouldn't Betsy be?

Thanks for posting.

when Betsy brought Doug with her to counseling, Henry should have told him “since you screwed my wife the only way I will consider staying married to her is I get to screw your wife.”

Henry’s life would have been better off if he continued to fake amnesia until the divorce was final.

Yep something’s you shouldn’t joke or prank about.

Misogynistic tripe.

Both persons need help

"He'll pay for this" - HE'LL pay for it?

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"She would have to wait another day before reporting." - I know this is common in LW world, but irl it's not true.

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"he was gone and took his cell phone with him" - He LEFT his cell phone! She heard it ringing upstairs when she called him. "Betsy ran up and saw his cell phone on the nightstand."

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While he has a point that even if she's telling the truth, it was a cruel prank, he also should realize that she's not going off with Doug.

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"We found out you had taken your phone when we found it in your room." - LOL. logical contradiction here! If they found it in his room, then he DIDN'T take it.

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So what happened next?

More skippy scum, your stories seem to get worse instead of better.

Well, this made about as much sense as air brakes on a mud turtle. My god man, can't you come up with something better than these lame unrealistic LW stories?

Nah….just didn’t work. Betsy’s prank to get Harvey off his dead ass was too abrupt…as evidenced in tne divorce counseling where there was no indication of any long term effort by Betsy to get dead ass out of his Lazy Boy.

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Then, of course, Harvey is also an asshole. Before and after the stupid prank.

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3 weak ***

These two need to divorce.

This sucked. The wife deserves what she got. The husband did exactly what he should have done. Idiots who are blaming the husband need to read it again. How do we know the 2 hours they spent together when she got home wasn't 2 hours of sex? You want to shock your husband into sex, SHOW HIM SOME

ATTENTION. That's the secret girls. Us men are easy. Just show us some interest and we will follow you anywhere. This wife should have come to the living room naked. I guarantee she would have him in the bedroom immediately.

Why does she want this jerk back?

Silly story. Both parties are so pitiful they deserve to be divorced. As a confirmed BTB guy, I’m actually sorry for the woman. Staying home watching sports and other TV is not a life. Divorce him and find some man who actually is alive.

I didn't buy it. I mean, he's a fat slob, who seemingly cares ZERO about his marriage, yet is motivated to get off his fat lazy ass 2 minutes after she leaves?!

She's way better off without him. And, of course, because it's LW, the wife is all shattered when he acts. I mean, shouldn't she really be ecstatic that this fat lazy slob is motivated to do something, anything? I don't see any reason she should want to stay married, but I guess it's a male fantasy because I would be dancing out the door on a real date. He aint layin pipe, someone needs to and let the fat lazy slob divorce me for getting what he ain't giving, while he stinks on the recliner. yuck.

Nothing AT ALL wrong with the wife.

Another example of a fine story starting out and then the writer gets writers block. To fill some pages, the plot gets retold and rehashed, and in desperation, a way is found to end the story but it makes no sense. Can't give this effort more than a 3.

Normally your stories are very good reads but his one,, you, your editor any proof reader made so many plot line errors I could not stay with the story. Unlike others who read with a notepad and write the errors out to point out I do not I simply say read it yourself again. Two Stars 2**

I liked the story. i found it entertaining. The last paragraph shows how a prank an turn dangerous.

Getting upset and taking immediate action is a valid reaction. Ten minutes is a short time to even figure out where a suitcase was to pack some clothes. Immediate action could include trashing the place in anger even to the point of burning the house. Even going out and getting drunk. Some of these actions are irrational but possibilities as the first reaction.

Most men would call a friend for somebody to talk to. The old time corner bars are few and far between nowadays.

Chasing after the bitch would be weakness. He certainly would not sit waiting for her to come home unless it was outside with a pistol or baseball bat

This story used one story line that I hate. That is where the man throws his cell phone away or refuses to answer because he is angry. That is a little kid mentality. A little kid mad at his parent refusing to even look at them as he has his tantrum. Any man would at least want to hear the explanation. He'd know he might accept it or it would cement his decision to leave the bitch. But he'd still want to see what was said.

The stupid cunt should realize the consequence of her actions, hopefully she has. Also the post nup would include several ass to mouth sessions for her atonement. As to the anonymous beta bitches whining about the husband, go fuck yourselves....

"He looked like a man," Skippy, what sort of line is that? "We found out you had taken your phone when we found it in your room." Again, what is that??

Interesting story but sloppy writing. She couldn’t call him because he took his phone with him? Also, Betsy and Amanda’s names got flipped once.

Harm set, harm get.

Don't read this story. It's revoltingly horrible.

"I tried calling you, but you left your phone at home. I sat waiting for you all night, but you never came back."

When we returned ten minutes later, he was gone and took his cell phone with him''''' Which was true? Did he take the phone or leave it?

Some editing errors at critical times tripped me up a bit, but story was solid for the most part. I can’t buy into him leaving the house so quickly and that kept me from being as engaged with it as I would have liked. 4*

Annnd...THIS is why you do NOT play pranks or practical jokes on people you care about! Sure, there's some things that are reasonable, BUT you had better make sure you know the person you're dealing with will understand the "joke"! Pranks have broken up good relationships and people have died because of "pranks" gone wrong. I am ok with jokes and love to laugh, but best not do the pranks has been my rule.

Major MISS that crippled the stories impact, right at the end - an error in calling of names; 'He called Amanda to come downstairs.' This should have been Betsy his wife not his paramour.

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These quasi 'prank' stories just do not hunt for me, it is just too easy to get cross purposes and jerk reader emotions around. I just do not like them. If my wife ever pulled this shit - I'd divorce her as Harvey should have ---> no loving wife could ever go this far. It may not be the sexual trust broken but the emotional TRUST was shattered. What happen to just plan old COMMUNICATING (even via phone texts in our woke modern society)?

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3.4***, Hooyah....

Rather silly but enjoyable just the same except the author needs to make up his mind if Harvey took his phone with him or left it at home. Also, referring to Betsy as Amanda was quite careless.

This was too much

Enjoyed the story but surprised at the errors. She couldn't contact him because his took his phone, or he left his ohone, depends on the paragraph. At the end, he called Amanda to come downstairs, should be Betsy. You write great stories, please use good editing.

Great story. With morals.

Good story. Next time, serious consequences. LP

Damned good story! People don’t consider the impacts of pranks gone wrong. If Betsy and Doug were involved in a crash while driving around the block, it would have been harder to convince Harvey that it was a prank.

That said, they must live on a very long block, if he was able to pack and leave before she returned.

your Prank stories are too mean spirited

Why not come back to her a few minutes later?

If this is funny, then a smoking barrel and grey matter on the wall should be hilarious, right?

idk for me if ur not all that smart just dont do pranks. sort of learn that during highschool. meaning betsy seems a bit to dumb for this to be the first major screw up in their long marriage

She sounds delightful. Not only does she suck at communicating but has no empathy or self-awareness. How did he and the daughters survive so many years with her with their sanity intact?

Very stupid

Abrupt and jumpy, several parts apparently out of sequence, jerky and not flowing smoothly.

Dude,

I usually enjoy your stories, but try writing sober.

How did the kid see the decal on the back window of the truck? Too many errors as others have noted. No rating. Merry Xmas!

Good story, wished you used tags as LW is a minefield of bad stories. 5/5 Just harsh enough for me.

More the work of an amateur author. Kind of silly and inane; all of it. Maybe these people should just get divorced and start over. Its So Easy to find a replacement spouse. Never underestimate the value of the devil you know. Thanks for the effort.

Wow! Wasn't expecting that!!!!!

Neat.

Too over the top, but the easily impressed will wet themselves falling all over it.

Now that's dark.

Scary shit. 4/5

Wow, this was really...I don't know what exactly. Just two people who are subconsciously trying to severely emotional ly hurt the other. I'm sorry but these people won't last.

So what is the point of mentioning a gun with 1 bullet? Is she going to end herself? If she can get to his gun it’s not secured very well.

Everybody wants to be all gangsta until they gotta do gangsta shit! This also shows the perils of acting in haste. 5/5!!

Most, if not all, pranks are thinly disguised acts of sadism.

I enjoyed it until the very end when Harvey tried to prank his wife the same way. I felt it kind of went off the rails there. But before that it was a pretty clever and fun story. 4-stars.

Good story. I was distracted by the husband's phone. He left it behind with his ring, yet he had it with him.

Story packs every single "date" and divorce cliche into two dense LW pages. Almost could be satire....

Ok, but honestly you have written better. This felt choppy to me

No such things as jokes, someone always gets hurt. Let's face it, marriage is no joke and jokes about cheating are really no joke

Not sure about rhe end it felt kind of rushed or unfinished hence only 4 stars

She should have went through with the divorce, he obviously doesn't really value her or their marriage for him to so easily aspect her going on a date and didn't fight for her ir their marriage. He just pav6up and left and then went full BTB on her. And to fake amnesia and hurt his daughter's like that shiws he doesn't even care about his children. His wife and daughter's would be better off without him.

not his best story - maybe a 3*

What a mess.

I think his wife knowing he was gone in 10 minutes should have convinced him

This made little to no sense, and by the end of it the husband was such a bad villian you were rooting for the wife to leave him.

One. Why? Zero is not an option. -3 is not there. Not bad until you intentionally rolled the truck that you spent, well, probably mere minutes constructing. I begin to think you are a near-genious warped crusader to stop people from reading Literotica, or at least LW.

You can tell by the comments that readers are all over the eplace - IOW, CONFUSED! The point of writing is to clearly convey an idea or feeling. Keep your day job. And ask for overtime. You have perpetrated your joke about being a writer, quite long enough. Write this stuff in a diary of sorts for therapy or your kids, so they can figure out why you are, how you are. You... do have kids...? Or, maybe you are 16? An advanced pervert? Er, troubled young person? Get help w writing or, whatever.

What the hell was this all about?.

I wish writers in LW would fucking stop with the restraining orders. You'd think judges were handing them out like candy by how ridiculously cliche they are in these stories. The only thing stupider is the husband suing the wife's company.

Huh?

I see more and more, especially with young people, pranks about a relationship and Fidelity. I know it for entertainment but there can be unintended consequences. Thank about the bad reaction before you pull a prank.

I've read this twice in recent days and it really is quite good and interesting.

Run, man, RUN!!!

PRANKS can turn deadly quickly!

Now I know why the local police insist that my partner must not know where the keys of the gun cabinet are.

Five stars. I loathe practical jokes in any way shape or form. Appreciate it all blowing up in the wife's face.

Seems a lot of readers are not reading this story carefully - or are reading words between the lines that are not there. Hence their confusion.