What We Yearn For Ch. 03

"Brielle, why exactly are you still here?"

The faintly accented voice is the first thing I hear just as I'm about to pass by Monika's ajar office door.

The flower shop is empty of employees this early in the morning, and the current temperature inside has me pulling the sleeves of my oversized sweater down my arms. Or maybe it was the tone of my boss's voice that caused the chill to run past me. I couldn't ever really tell. Especially with her having her back toward me as she focused on whatever she was writing at her desk.

"Good morning to you too, Monika. Glad you're back," I smile, even though she isn't paying me any visual mind.

That is until, Monika stops her writing, pushes back slightly from her black oak wood desk and swivels her seat around to face me.

"Good morning. And only for a bit."

Monika's expression wasn't exactly decipherable, as usual. But I knew Monika well enough by now to know that the lack of expression in her deep moss-colored eyes and emotionlessness in her voice wasn't anything to worry about.

"Now, why are you here when you're in that condition? '' Monika pointed her gaze toward my abdomen. "You can wear all the baggy clothes you'd like. but my memory serves me correctly, you're due any day now. "

"And you're be absolutely right. But I thought I could work a little later? I asked Jenny about it."

"How much later? Are you waiting until your water breaks?"

Well, I'm not against it.

Besides me actually liking my work, I was pretty restless at home. Work, while it could be physically exhausting, kept me busy from allowing any pessimistic thoughts to creep into my head. Although there were moments where I failed and ended up sulking.

"Don't do that,'' Monika suddenly says. "I get you're going through a tough time going through this pregnancy on your own with little help from your family, but you shouldn't push yourself."

I crack a smile," why Monika, are you concerned? About me?"

Her stoic demeanor breaks as she grimaces "and there you go ruining the moment."

"I am not! This is a rare moment right now. Can you blame me for calling you out on it?"

"No, but I can blame you for trying to change the subject." she says, shaking her disapprovingly. In that moment, she pauses as if lingering in thought before choosing her next wording carefully. "Brielle, I understand I may just be your employer, but i am not a slaver driver. It may seem as if I'm being pushy about your leave but it's only because i feel it's needed. You work harder than anyone I've ever employed here and yet you're carrying another human in you. You need to rest."

My smile faltered as i cast my gaze downward.

I wasn't entirely insecure about myself to the point where I didn't realize that I was a hard worker. But, and I never could quite pinpoint why, it always felt odd being outwardly praised and hearing another acknowledge my work. Or hearing someone compliment me generally as a person. Plus over the years I've grown accustomed to compliments being followed by something back handed.

"Americans have a term, don't they? ``Give me my flowers, ' i believe it's called. "Said Monika. "If I understand it properly, it means to give someone their credit when it's due; while they're still alive to smell them. So, I suppose this would be me giving you your flowers. What you do with them, whether you let them flourish or die, is up to you Brielle."

Coldness in her tone be damned, there was a truth in Monika when she spoke. It made it hard for me to ignore it. But at the same time hard to listen to.

It wasn't Monika's responsibility to take care of me, or play therapist and life coach, but I knew I would be lying if I said Monika didn't serve as some sort of backbone to me. It went beyond just respecting her as an employer, I genuinely valued Monika's stature and her word. Even when her words made her fall silent in the deep thorough of thoughts.

A soft rhythmic chime suddenly filled the room, earning a curse from Monika. She reaches for the source of the delicate playing melody, to the smartphone laying on her desk.

"Shit, I need to go pick someone up," she says as she stands from her seat. "I know we're a little short staffed today, especially with Hannah calling out. but we're going to have last minute help for the day."

"Last minute Help?" My brow arched. This is news to me. It wasn't like Monika to hire a person rapidly.

"Yes, from the person I'm picking up, my nephew to be specific."

"Oh," I blink at the information. Specifically the first part Monika just revealed to her. "I didn't know you had family here in America."

Not that I would have known. Monika wasn't really the type to divulge info unless the moment called for it. Although even then I found she could still reveal nothing even while saying everything.

In the time that I worked at the floral shop I couldn't really recall my boss even mentioning she had anyone in her life...aside from Jenny. however if I thought back at it, she she didn't need to tell me. I knew right from when I met the two, that there was something a lot deeper than the usual business partner relationship. but even that, I felt she was selective about who she told it. Which was fine.

Still, I would have been lying if I said I wasn't curious about my enigmatic boss's personal life.

For that I didn't expect Monika to react to my statement. But Monika surprised me with a response.

"I'm surprised you didn't know about him. His picture is the only one i have in my office." she replied, nodding toward the picture frame hiding behind a stack of papers atop her desk.

As if I'm ever in here.

Venturing through Monika's office wasn't a common occurrence. This moment actually of me standing in her doorway was probably the longest I've ever stayed within vicinity. While Monika never explicitly said she didn't like anyone in her office, I did my best to stay afar until I was given passage.

But in the past I had noticed the picture frame on her desk the few times I had visited her office. But I never got a proper look at who was in the frame.

"And Brielle don't think I've forgotten about our conversation.'' Monika shot me a look as she take her jacket off the backseat of her chair. She slides it over her slender shoulders, "You're more than welcomed to work until you give birth but then you will take your maternity leave and get what rest you can in being a full-time mother. Just because I'm going away for a bit does not mean i won't be checking in. so don't think i won't know if you try to sneak your way back into work."

I didn't argue with My boss as she hurriedly slid past me through the doorway.

Monikas word is usually final...wouldn't be much use anyway.

Just as I'm about to turn to leave, I pause. My eyes falling at the corner picture frame hiding behind the stacks of papers on Monikas desk.

I didn't particularly like the idea of treking through her office for anything other than business. But I was curious about her family.

Monika didn't have any pictures in her office of anyone so it had to be someone dear to her if she had them on her desk.

One peek won't hurt would it?

I step further into the office. Walking closely to the desk, I peer over the mountain of paperwork. My eyes widened at the picture. Standing in front of a field of vivid blooming sunflowers was what appeared to be a rarely smiling monika. Her brown hair was pinned up in a high ponytail. But nestled in her embrace was a child, a boy. Although In actuality, I wouldn't have been able to tell if it was a boy had monika not told me prior that the picture frame was of her nephew.

His round delicate face, long lashes and wild mane of curly blonde hair made it a bit difficult.

But then something snagged my attention, his eyes. Boyish and vividly distinguishable chartreuse colored eyes...that I'd seen some time recently.

Yesterday...

That's when his face came into view.

Milan.

There weren't many men I knew with an appearance like him and now here this boy was that could past for his twin.

But it can't be...I mean he can't be the only person on this planet that looks like that.

What would be the coincidence?

+++++++

"You know what those flowers symbolize?" Milan asked, his eyes nudging to the bouquet in my lap. The question came almost suddenly after I told him that I was pregnant. It nearly threw me off.

"I'm sure my boss has told me at one point, but no. I can't recall right now."

"The daffodils, these mean new beginnings, and the daisies? They have origins in Europe but you can find them all over now; we associate them with new begingings. In other words," he extends his hand over to my lap, and I freeze at it's close proximity.

The heart thudding I felt when he pulled me close to him earlier consumes me. It feels as if it picks up in pace as his fingers graze the skin atop my thighs. I don't think it's intentional, since he encircles his grasp about the base of the bouquets. Raising it slightly to my breast, he gently presses it to me. "These are the perfect flowers for this occasion, Elle."

++++++++

"You look like you're deep in thought," Jenny's soft voice broke me from my thoughts.

The other night replayed over in my head for the fifth time today. It was strange but before I saw that picture in Monikas desk I hadn't thought about my interaction with Milan much. It was a nice, yet fleeting interaction with a client. But now, since getting a look at the young innocent face being held in Monikas embrace, my thoughts were riddled with the possibility that that interaction may not of been fleeting. Or even coincidental.

I wasn't worried about my spacing out though.

By now I'd been arranging bouquets long enough to afford the luxury of zoning out while being assured that my work would get done properly. Because of this, I knew that Jenny's interest was coming from a genuine place of concern. Still I tried to downplay my current state.

"I'm alright Jenny. just..thinking is all," i say.

But I could tell Jenny didn't buy it. It was in the way her brown eyes softened and her lips quirked to the side.

"Is it the baby? Monika told me you should be due soon."

"Yes-i mean... no. Well, it is due soon and I do feel some kicks every now and then but they aren't so often where I think I need to go to the doctor at this second. I'm just...I dunno in deep thought i suppose."

"I see," she murmured, Jenny waits until I arrange the last flower in the bouquet before taking it off the table and cradling it in her arms. "This order isn't due till much later. You know if you'd like to talk we can. you know I'm a good listener."

I can't help but crack a smile.

Jenny was actually the person who took a chance and interviewed me. Even with my background lacking any real botanical experience she and Monika I assume, took a chance when they hired me. Since then Jenny had been nothing but sweet and understanding. So she wasn't lying when she said she was a good listener. But sometimes her mouth could run a mile a minute.

'She could talk to a rock, if she wanted to and still be entertained.' I remembered Monika once telling me. And she didn't tell one lie. It could be exhausting at times but I still appreciated Jenny for who she was.

She'd help me with the most trivial things and sometimes even the deeper matters that I was too ashamed to be vocal about aloud with anyone else. Jenny simply just radiated that warm and kind energy that drew you in. it was the type of energy I imagined a doting mother would have.

I remained seated at the long work table while Jenny started to carefully put the bouquet in its gift box.

"Is it the father of your child? Or is your family giving you a hard time again?" she quietly asked.

I flash her a weak smile. "No. I actually haven't heard much from my father since I first told him I was pregnant. And as far as Quinn, I haven't bothered him since he told me he didn't want anything to do with this...'ordeal'."

"I cant believe him," she grimaced. "I knew there was something i didn't like about him when he first started coming around. He didn't seem the least bit genuine. "

Oh how right you were.

I couldn't stop the sinking feeling from forming in my chest.

Maybe somewhere deep down inside I knew quinn wasnt entirely genuine either. But i stuck around because the companionship, the familiarity in my personal life felt ok. It wasnt the best but id grown accustomed it beecyas i thought some type of companionship was better than just spending my days alone. I mean, id certainly done alot of that growing up as a child.

At least that what it always felt like.

I didn't have any siblings, no mother, and it always seemed like i couldn't do right by my bible thumping father and the new family he formed. I always felt out of place when around them or just flat out excluded.

With quinn, even though it wasnt the best, it simply felt good to be wanted, even if it was for when he wanted t a good time. If felt nice knowing that there was someone who wanted to see me and wanted to be around me. It could be something simple as sexual intimacy or a good time.

But now, i apparently ruined that good time, as he put in so many words. i knew not to tell jenny this, though. it would leave me opening up another can of worms and im almost certain that would give her a tizzy fit. She already didn't like the guy.

"It's nothing bad actually. It's more so about Monika. The picture on her desk."

"Oh?" Jenny's hands stalled just as she was about to put the topping of the box on. Her brows raised, "she let you see that?"

"Believe me i'm just as shocked as you are. She hardly lets anyone in her office and if she does it's not for long."

"She must really trust you, not that i'm surprised." she smiles. "Monika is pretty good at reading people's character. Shes very protective of that picture.or maybe the memories it triggers for her."

It must be. Since i've never seen her smile as much as she was in that frame. It was almost as if I'd been looking at a completely different person.

But i hold my tongue as far that comment.

"I was curious about the boy in the picture? She said it was her nephew. Hes also coming here today right? To work?"

"He sure is." beamed jenny. "Im honestly so glad hes able to help. It can happen every now and then. But He use to come more often back in the earlier stages of this shop. But since then his own work has been picking up. It can be a hard to get a hold of him, though. He can be very...elusive. I suppose we should expect it though." she shrugs weakly.

"Whys that?"

"Well, you know how young men can be." she chuckles. "Monika shrugs it off as him being free spirited and boys being boys. But i honestly think thats her own way of babying him without outwardly doing it"

I blink at the newfound info.

Maybe it's cause i needed the distraction from worrying about my own life, but this info about monika and her nephew was interesting to hear about. She never seemed the maternal type. Actuality she seemed like she rathered be alone most of the time. then again, she was married to someone family oriented like Jenny. Their pairing alone was proof that opposites attract. But the info didn't really answer the main question i had.

"Theres something esle i was wondering about. hes a young boy in that picture, but im almost certain ive seen him somewhere before."

Jenny didn't seem the least bit surprised. "I know i said he doesnt work here as much as he used to when we first started at this location. But he does still kind of comes and goes as he pleases. So you might of gotten a glimpse."

"No," I shake my head."i think, i may of saw him yesterday. Outside the flower shop. We had a last minute order, they requested i drop a bouquet off at a photo studio."

Her brows raised, "really now?" she paused for a moment, turning her focus to wrap the gift box in a bow.

"Was the name on the account-"

"Aunt jenny! You here?"

I pause at the sound of the familiar voice that interrupts jenny.

My back is to the open door but I can practically feel when he's in the room. Or more so smell. It's that citrusy woodsy scent that delicately dances under my nose. It tickles it in almost a beckoning manner, pulling me to swivel myself around on the stool to the open door way.

Where he stands.

I'm starting to believe even though it's our second meeting that the small warm smile on his face is simply by default. Despite the tired look in his eyes this early morning, it's there as he looks at Jenny. Or his aunt Jenny. But when his gaze drags over to me, lids lift and his smile broadens. He doesn't appear the least bit surprised at my presence.

If anything, a smile slowly starts to lift across his plump lips, and the sides of his eyes crinkle slightly. The way his face lights up, he looks at me is as if he's reuniting with someone he'd long lost.

"Morning, Elle."