All Comments on 'What Were You Thinking? - Therapy'

People just don't get the concept of swinging, openness, and honesty. All which are a must to navigate the lifestyle and stay married.

There have to be rules of some sort.

Haha not surprised that this where you took it

Am I the only one feeling sorry for the therapist?

For a psychiatrist this would be a story of interest. For the one in the story he seems to be blind to their reasons for being swingers. This could have been a manual for how to train your dog.

If what these two have is love, leave me out of it.

Rubbish

Scores 1/5

I know this is a story, so you can create the attitudes and reactions... but man, you hit the nail on the head with your description of psychology. This is coming from someone who got a Bachelor's of Science in Psych, and bitterly regrets it.

You set up a straw man "traditional marriage & marriage counselor" and then kicked it over with these two idiots who sound so wise and knowledgable. Swingers insist on certain rules, but why have any? Who is the husband to say anything about what a wife does or visa versa if you're going to use the nonsensical "my body, my choice" argument? He has no right to insist on honesty if she can do whatever she wants. The reason they want "rules" is because deep down they want some form of fidelity. But if you move the boundaries a little... swinging... who is to say you can't move it a lot or do away with them all together? In the end she's using this wimp joke of a husband for what she wants and he's stupid enough to go along with it. Nothing erotic about that.

Brenda is a slut according to Jan who just spent the weekend deceiving her husband and fucking another guy. Not sure why you claim these people are so smart. If she can't see she's a cheating skank slut she's pretty delusional. Shallow, selfish, hypocritical, double-minded and just plain stupid are a few words that come to mind. The fact he wants to stay with the bimbo whore shows he's simply a fool who knows lots of big words.

Oh the conceit! the smugness, the arrogance, the 'I'm so freaking smart and wise and secure in who I am that I can have sex with whoever I want and it won't affect me at all'. Yes, you're the enlightened one, with all the stats you need to back you up; selective stats, cherry picking the ones you like. 'Most people are cheaters now, so it must be today's normal', forgetting all the break-ups and divorces that go along with that. You canNOT take out the human emotions like envy and jealousy, lust and love. They exist in everyone, also in the pseudo intellectuals that are above it all. This couple, even in this fictional study designed to prove the writer's points, have serious problems. They can survive in this fictional setting, in real life- no. Kali's 'concept of swinging, openness, and honesty' is purely a joke, but he'll never see it. He's much too smart for us folks steeped in tradition.

Could have been a well written story if it hadn't bogged down in trying to prove that enlightened openness, i.e. swinging, is really the way to go.

I appreciate the story for what it is. While it's not my cup of tea, I enjoyed the writing and the story - taking it just as it is. A story - a work of fiction. However, I'm disappointed in how the swinging lifestyle is portrayed here - that if you somehow believe in monogamy - it's only because your ego can't take it - or that you're insecure, or you feel that you "own" your partners body - which is somehow akin to slavery, etc... If you have to define a particular point of view - by tearing down an opposing point of view - or attacking those with a different point of view - then your own beliefs are simply flawed. It's just a fact. Even a Lit author whose work I respect and follow, commented that if you don't swing - you don't get the concept of openness and honesty. What an absolute load of bullshit. My wife and I choose to be monogamous. Yet we have complete honesty, openness, and trust between us. It's by having those qualities in our relationship that has made it work so very well for three decades. Unlike the comment said - that "people just don't get the concept of swinging". I disagree. It's just that some people choose something different. How about you do you - I'll do me - I won't disparage your lifestyle choice - and you don't disparage mine?

This is the swinger equivallent of saying hitler did nothing wrong.

Garbage.

@Lifestyle66 - "Fridged wife" - It's no wonder she's so FRIGID if he keeps her in the refrigerator...

Fucked up people

Sorry lost it on page one, the constant rambling around items and points made me fall asleep at my desk,same effect as politics to be honest, boring and takes forever to get anywhere by which time your forgotten what was first said and how things got to that state.

marriage and 'lifestyle' simply do not belong in the same sentence. If you're into that, just don't get married. Problem solved.

This is why swingers who need counselling need a counsellor who specialises in alternative sexual lifestyles. An interesting story.

@Billy_Ray_Ban Your comment is appreciated. But you seem to believe I wrote a disparaging story about monogamy, with my pokes aimed at you. If you take the time to read my other stories, you might find there are dozens of other comments who disparage stories such as mine, and this story was to address their narrow-minded, one-size-SHOULD-fit-all attitudes. If you read some of my other stories, you'll find the main character, Ted's attitude is (even in this story) "we're all the products of our unique life experiences, and there's nothing wrong with you."

This story is well-written, but it's devoid of any feeling unless emptiness is a feeling. I like none of the characters, there seems to be no real story, and I'm left with the feeling that unless the reader is plugged into OP's "franchise" of work, then we are not intended to understand, much less enjoy it. Conspicuously absent is any semblance of a story I want to read. Methinks "Lifestyle66" is living in his own head and looking strictly inward.

As someone else already said, why go into a diatribe about what bullshit this is, cause these simps just don't get it. And just rate this a 1⭐

First of the whole therapist office scene does not work. The idea of them going to a therapist needs to be predicated on the idea that Ted and Jan are normal people. And from the story line narrative and character dialog, they clearly are not. Consider this exchange:

Therapist: "That's why some men want revenge against their wife's lover. The lover stole her body from the husband."

Ted: "But that would imply I own my wife's body," I pointed out. "That would be like slavery, and it's wrong. What intelligent man believes he owns his wife's body?"

Jan: "Ted doesn't own me," Jan interjected. "I make my own decisions and choices. He can't tell me who will or won't be allowed to use my body! It's 'MY body, MY choice' I might ask for his opinions, but the decision is mine!"

These two look at life like Spock looked at Dr. McCoy. They analyze everything, each through the filters of their respective childhoods. Most people would not agree with their spouses having the same take on their bodies as Ted and Jan do. I for one would tell my wife that I unequivocally do own her body...just as she owns mine. No, we did not agree to be slaves but we did agree to give ourselves to each other. EACH OTHER, not each other AND the combined members of South City Swingers Club or any other mutually agreed upon persons with appealing fleshy appendages.

So this story just ends up sounding like a propaganda piece for swinging, swapping, extramarital sex, living in the 'lifestyle'...you say tomato, I say cheaters.

Attempted comedy that fell flat.

Just accept swinging or sharing or Cuckoldry or the new apparent Lifestyle is not for everyone. Marriage is not for everyone. Staying faithful in marriage or any other relationship is not for everyone. If someone wants to share their partner then go at it fuck 1000 women let your partner fuck 1000 men or woman if that is your fetish have at it. But for fucks sake stop trying to convince the world they should do it too.

Any married couple into swinging needs a lot more help than they can get from therapy.

'I didn't marry a deceptive woman. Jan knows better than to say she's sorry to me. She knows I would see it as her failure to THINK about it before acting. And she knows I expect her to be able to THINK. So, whatever she chose to do was something she wanted at that moment and saying "I'm sorry" wouldn't change that. Jan was just accepting all of this as inevitable.'

The problem I'm having is this self professed, "I'm really very smart...trust me."

So while this main character said a few nuggets of insight, this view struck me as very fucking dumb. And yes, I'm hyper aware because his smug attitude demands a fine tooth comb to vet the schmuck.

You can be sorry for something done with forethought, with strategy involved. It's not only possible, it's as common as the grass you trample. Not only is life too complex to foresee all possible factors and outcomes, but feelings and attitudes DO CHANGE. It doesn't make you stupid in either case. Sometimes people have to experience something to truly learn from it. Especially...and more importantly always....when it comes to opinions you have about things you'v never done before. Does that remove blame? No. Would an apology ring a bit hollow? Of course. Was it stupid though? Fuck no. What a terrible train of logic this guy keeps embarking on. It's so stupid that I have only two conclusions: You're either a genius author that created the perfect Duning Kruger character, or this is a self insert...and I'm so very sorry for the premature lose of your deductive reasoning. It died far too young, before it's time really.

I had high hopes that you would have write an intelligent (emotionally and instrumentally) counsellor who met their clients where the clients ARE. Nope; just a straw man to push memorized statistics and rehearsed arguments at … I appreciated the self-deprecating humour at the end about your goals for the story, but it was way too didactic for me.

So the counsellor thing is just, well, lame. You have two damaged people who have real issues communicating with each other. I agree with Anon—the world is big; I mean really big, so big! And as flotsam and jetsam in it, it can be hard for us to understand our part in it; OK, let us try: It is impossible to do so fully or even passably well often at times. So, as we stumble our way about, we make decisions that can hurt others; because we don’t know ourselves well or our circumstance that well either. As Spinoza says: we can always be overcome by external causes. Apologizing is a way of recognizing this human truth.

I like the consistent nature of the characters but the lack of self-awareness and your unwillingness as an author to push your characters makes this much less interesting for me because they do not grow. All we get is repetition. At the end, the “bitch is back.” We get habit, and what could be crisis followed by insight only evokes smug self-congratulation.

As Artaud said: “Habit is the ballast that chains a dog to its vomit.”

Thank you for your work.

PS. Why marry? I am surprised that you didn’t have Jan say: “Be abuse in this country, marriage confers real benefits, legally and otherwise to people that de facto couples do not receive as often.”

I hate auto correct and heavy thumbs! “Because” and not “Be abuse”.

Sheldon funny, he’s likable with wit humor. This guy whoever he is, is just a shell. Really unlikable characters.

I don't think I get it.

He is pissed that she deceived him by taking Roger to the cabin for a weekend. All he does is bang a woman he knows she does not care for. He didn't really deceive her and she is pissed about the woman he chose not the fact he did it or how he did it. So how is that getting even or teaching her any lesson? I didn't read how in all of this nonsense she ever really came to terms in what she did and I don't see how he ever really forgave her?

So they just go on continuing to have random sex and all is ok?

To answer your question - No. They need a divorce. Why be married?

Brilliant. A logical look at relationships. Someone who is honest with themselves and can take the emotional conditioning that has been forced on us out of the equation and allow common sense to prevail. Well done

They still never tackled her deception. The whole point of the fight was over her lying and trying to control his actions while she did what she wanted. Also Fuck Roger GTFO of my mountain house! 😂

Valid revenge for cheating always, always includes a divorce. Not therapy, or long talks, or some RAAC bullshit excuse like "tolerating her being a skanky cum dumpster for the sake of the family" or any similar rationalizations. revenge sex? Just makes you both into lying, cheating pieces of shit. It's not a balance sheet, it's either a marriage, or it isn't.

I think some readers miss or gloss over earlier points made in the story and criticize the story with a misconception. So, beside the fact that I'm a shitty writer, failing to clearly make the points, I'll offer the following for future readers:

--Ted has no issue with his wife's fucking another guy, because as he said, he's watched her do it before while he's fucking other women. His issue is with her breaking their rule to do it together. And HIS only rule is "no double standard", so he's free of her rules in the future, and they now have an open marriage.

--The only "revenge" for her deception is that she loses control over who her husband will fuck in the future! There's no need for divorce or tackling her deception. As far as Ted's concerned, it's done and a fact, and there is no "forget it"! Now it's time to move along, as long as SHE can get over her losing control.

--Ted talked to Rodger previously, and he trusts Rodger. It was Jan who misled them both. So, Ted has no problem with Rodger.

--Ted's memory issues are HIS major problem. He depends on his routines to make his life tolerable. And Jan is his favorite routine, bitch that she is, because he's used to her. She's taken care of his sex needs for over thirty years. (Brenda was a good fuck, but STRESS!)

--Ted and Jan are both sex addicts, and the house parties give them their time to satiate their needs, without emotional entanglements afterwards. Jan doesn't need to train Rodger to make her coffee in the mornings, and Ted doesn't need to think about what to do with the woman after he fucks her! They're happy together, and what more is there to love???

--And Jan is now determined to regain some control over Ted by giving him blowjobs and draining him! So, for sex addict Ted, this is WIN! (She's in the mood! which was alluded to in the Intro.)

Thank you to @kiwihunter and the others who read the whole story.

The consulter scene was stupid, a consulter is there to help with communication problems,not give there options on marriage. Then these two idiots trying to convince him he's wrong and his beliefs are dated. At the same time their reasoning is the exact opposite of why a couple would want to get married. Her line of "my body my choice" is laughable, guarantee he put his foot down if she showed up every night with 15 guys to plow her. There's a reason why 95% couples that are "in the lifestyle" fail. It's one of the main reasons most monogamous fail also, cheating. When wife broke they rules and deceived the husband she was cheating,and all this stupid goofy talk Ted was talking makes him look dumb. His relationship with his wife is not on some other plane of existence, or higher state that it needs all this evaluation. She's a cheater, and she never had to face it because Ted tried to make it out like it was about rules. No it just proves that after all this stupid talk about how open he and his wife were about their wants and fantasies that they would be above those "vanilla" folks. But he found out they weren't and he had given all that freedom to his wife for her to nothing more then a cheating whore and would never admit any wrong doin.

This author writes well. But the couples therapy scene was awful, revealing an incredibly poor understanding of what goes on in couples therapy. No real, competent therapist just jumps in with judgmental opinions and pronouncements of pseudo-facts before any real exploration of what the presenting issues are in the opinions of each member of the couple. If the author or any readers were ever actually treated in this manner then they were in the hands of a deeply incompetent, poorly trained therapist. Could it be the author was just using this caricature of a poor therapist as a straw man for his arguments about the nature of fidelity in marriage?

To Anonymous 4-hours ago (and others with similar high opinions of marriage counselors), I have only my own experiences to draw upon with regards to marriage counseling. And this type of counselor was exactly how we were treated with regards to his opinions of our issues.

So, after a short session, when leaving his office after he said he couldn't help my wife and me, the only part I really fabricated was the couple's complete reconciliation.

In my experience, problems build and compound. And when there are too many problems in a marriage, the counselor falls back upon the marriage contract and disregards all of the ways in which one spouse emotionally abandons the other. The counselor tends to side with the one who wants to remain married and exploiting the other. In my story, I simplified all other problems with just the one of "trust", and I magnified the importance of that one.

You completely changed the narrative from one story to the next. In the second, both parties were intellectually there but had no real emotions. This story fell flat .

The only real person was the therapist and he seemed lost according to you.

Your Male MC said, no I didn't take Brenda to upset you. That was EXACTLY hiss intention in the first story. As a followup, this sucked. I read it AFTER a discussion on Forum.

So a story about a cuckold bitch and a cuckquen bitch it is definitely new though no marriage would survive being open it's not plausible because a woman's nor a man's mind works that way if the woman's does the man's don't if the man's does the woman's don't that's why someone cheats cause there minds are on different thought process of the whole thing if a woman cheats its cause her mind process is on the fact that it shouldn't be just 1 woman and 1 man after getting married she feels it her job to create a new norm in the marriage system and the man is exactly that a man he is all for having sex with others before becoming serious with 1 woman when he decides to settle down with that 1 woman it means he has had his fun now he wants to grow old start a family with the woman both his heart and mind chose so when the 2 don't have the same thought on the matter they clash not physically but mentally and then 1 decides to uphold there thought and step out and fuck another and then the spouse finds out and it comes crashing down sorry to spoil that for you but it's the truth which is why over 70 percent of people that got divorced in a marriage is due to adultery that created the difference clause in the marriage it's simple Stats and numbers the remaining numbers in divorces is from a emotional affair stand point which is mostly been the woman and the guy filing for the divorce yes it's true cause most guys don't do emotional when cheating it's about the strange it's about the sex only women well it's both in away but it mostly always starts out emotional before turning physical

This story is fucking dumb. They’re both hypocrites and their arguments don’t make any sense.

That was a fun read. I learned long ago not to take spelling errors or any mistake too seriously which allowed me to enjoy soooo many more stories instead of the incessant nitpicking that occurs with many readers. Just knowing that someone can write a decent story which is something I cannot do makes me appreciate it so much more while overlooking any small issues that some can’t get passed. Thanks for posting this series of stories and making them so much fun to read.