When the Broken Pieces... Pt. 02

. . .

When I woke up the next morning he was already gone for the day. I decided to start my day by taking a bath to help with the swelling and bruising. I made myself some breakfast and started on my online projects until Levi came home. We didn't talk about the night before I cooked him supper again and did the dishes afterwards. He then worked in his shop until 9 or 10 doing his house renovations. He would stop and ask if I needed to use the bathroom before he would turn in.

The rest of the week passed this way and I was in no hurry to break this protective wall I had built with him here, but I should have known that it would never last.

Friday night I made a baked chicken with some pasta and a marinara that went over the whole thing. Levi kept up the compliments on how amazing my cooking was, and he would weigh twice as much by the time I was done with him! I may have been making some desserts for the week to help sweeten him up a little. He was not much of a talker but sometimes he was downright silent, and it was driving me nuts. I loved to watch him work and even followed him out to the shop last night and he told me all about what he was doing and how slow the house has been going. He had hoped to be further along but lacked any real design skill and shot down any suggestions that were made. He was a bit stubborn in that manner.

Most of the swelling was gone from my face, the bruises were now more of a yellow color and maybe by next week I would be able to look into some interviews.

Levi cleared his throat while picking at the pasta on his plate. He was looking everywhere but at me, somehow, I got a feeling he was going to say something I didn't want to hear.

"Your brother stopped by my work today said he hasn't heard from you since everything happened and was wondering if you'd talk to him." He finished in a rush to get it all out.

I didn't make eye contact, I was too busy staring at my hands in my lap. I haven't turned on my phone in over a week. I had almost forgotten about it. I guess, I had waited long enough, I would have to face this mess sooner rather than later.

"I haven't turned on my phone yet, part of me wants to avoid everything that will come with that. I'm worried that Stan may have left some not so choice messages." He snorted after that comment like 'Ya Think'.

"I'm also worried about what, if anything, Chet has said. Part of me wants to know what he has to say for himself." Levi's face looked really troubled and I caught a flash of something like anger, maybe I was overthinking it again, before he looked away.

" I don't know if If I'm going to take him back but I'm homeless, unemployed, gay, and none of my family wants me." I threw my hands in the air getting exasperated with his lack of response to anything I was saying.

"I'm not kicking you out" he said in a soft tone, not looking directly at me. "I know I'm not the most enjoyable host but it's been nice to have someone around and if I haven't said it I really like your cooking" we both chuckled at his comment. I don't know what I was expecting but I felt like I needed more to stay, as nice as it was I couldn't hide here forever.

"I like it here but I'm just hiding from the real world. I'm going to have to rejoin it at some point." Part of me wanted him to ask me to stay. I was enjoying the easy life way too much but that wouldn't be fair for either of us.

"I'll turn my phone back on tomorrow and talk to my brother about meeting up. Tonight, maybe we could just watch a movie or something. I need something to keep me distracted until the inevitable happens."

"I haven't played much for games in years, but I could do a movie just nothing to sappy, please! I need something with action or comedy." Levi replied, picking up the dishes and clearing the table.

"So anything The Rock has made" I said and he just looked at me and laughed, I've never seen him laugh like this and it was amazing what it did to his features. This man was downright irresistible when he laughed, so I was definitely picking a comedy!! I just needed to find something that also had The Rock for good measure.

Thirty minutes later we were both seated on his only coach and each of us had his favorite beer in our hands as I searched Netflix for what it had available. I was finally able to pull up Central Intelligence and as soon as he saw the 'fat rock' dancing his heart out we both started losing it. The end of the movie had me two beers down but Levi had finished his third and was in a good mood. Somehow we got started on his career in the army and he talked about some of the stupid shit he'd done. I asked him about his family and he replied with a worthless dad that cut ties with a long time ago.

"Seems our dads have something in common." I said finishing my second beer and looking over at him.

I felt him looking my way hard, his eyes looked like they were hungry for something and my stomach started doing butterflies when he leaned over still holding my gaze. My breath caught in my throat and I wanted to lean in but didn't want to scare him off. I licked my lips and I could see his eyes flicker down at the movement of my tongue.. Then walnut jumped up, breaking the spell and turned in circles between us wanting some attention. When I looked back he had his head turned away and muttered something about getting late.

I wanted to cry with frustration, this man was a bag of mixed signals, one minute he was staring at me giving me butterflies and the next he was talking to his dogs and playing with his tools. I just wish he would play with my tool, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I sighed and took off upstairs to use the bathroom while he took the dogs out. I was just finishing peeing when the door opened and in walks Levi in nothing but boxers.

"Sorry forgot you might be in here, just came in to brush my teeth''

He walked over to the counter while I tucked myself back into the pants and zip up. I washed my hands and start to brush my teeth as well. We looked at each other in the mirror but Levi has trouble holding my gaze. I'm tempted to be a little naughty and see if I could tease him a bit. I casually brush his arms and invade him space just a little when grabbing my paste. I start to brush but slide the tooth brush in and out of my mouth a few times I see him watching me but don't make eye contact. I bend over to spit and arch my back and stick my butt out to see if I can get a raise out of him and man did I ever. I glanced behind me as I was rinsing, still bent over, when I noticed the front of his boxes were considerably larger than a moment ago. I wanted to rub my butt against his bulge and then see where it would go from there, but I needed him to make the first move. I need to know he wants me and he's not just horny and looking for someone to take care of it.

"Goodnight" I said standing up and starting to move away but a hand shoots out to stop me pinning me to the sink. Levi had already spit and rinsed and now had me pinned between him and the sink and two strong arms on either side of my body close enough to feel the warm but still not touching. I see his erection and it only adds to my growing one. I don't know what came over me, but I needed his cock and I needed it now in my mouth. Without a word I tried to drop to my knee and so I could act on these feelings, I reached a hand for the waistband but he stopped me and pulled me up.

Now his hands were wrapped around by biceps and I could feel the heat from his hands like a brand on my arms. He has both my arms in a strong grip but not a painful one. He puts his forehead on mine and his eyes are closed, his breathing was heavy. It was as if he was trying to gain control of something.

"I can't, I'm sorry if I lead you on but I can't do this, any of this. It's not right to expect you to and I won't be able to give you anything in return. I will only hurt you. I need . . . this just . . can't happen." With that he let me go and walked out of the bathroom. I was so stunned to even respond as he walked away.

When I finally was able to move I checked his room, but he wasn't there. My head was reeling, what did he mean? This was all too much, so I headed to my room and laid down, my hands balled into fist I hit the bend trying to work out some frustration. I think I heard him come up some time later and I just laid there upset that he thought so little of himself and sad that this would probably never work between us anyways.

LEVI POV

FUCK! Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! What did I just do! The man was on his knees practically begging to give me a blow job and I fuck it up just like everything else in my life. I have never wanted another man so bad In my life but I'll just mess it up like everything else I touch. Why can't I just be normal then I wouldn't have to worry about all this stupid shit and we could just be. The dog's ran circles around me they can tell I'm agitated they just don't know why. I finally settled on the sun porch looking out at the moonlit fields. I am going to have to fix this but I'm not sure where to start.