Where The Heart Is

"Why don't you go home then?" I asked a bit too loudly and Thea looked as if she had been struck for a moment.

"Liv!" Rachel gasped on the seat across from me, and only then did I realize what my words sounded like and my eyes widened. Did I tell you I had a talent for sticking my big foot in my mouth?

"I didn't—! I wasn't—!" I sputtered, shaking my head as I looked at Thea and tried to explain.

Thea had lowered her gaze, but she swiftly recovered and cleared her throat.

"It's okay," she said, her smile a bit forced and her eyes a bit glassy when she finally glanced back up. I tried to speak again, but Thea stopped me. "Really. It's fine!"

She took a deep breath and shook her head as she tried to smile even more brightly, and I saw Rachel smile back at her and nod in understanding. Thea needed us to let the matter go.

The next fifteen minutes were pretty strained after that, with Thea doing her best to act normal, and Rachel doing her best to play along. I sat there the whole time, feeling guilty as hell and rightly so until it was time to clear the table. I hid behind washing the dishes then, as if somehow that would atone.

Thea excused herself, putting her plate in the sink and quickly disappearing into her room. Rachel turned to leave for work soon after, but not before giving me a smile that was somehow both so polite and cold, I knew that there was no chance in hell I would be walking her to work tonight.

That might have distressed me any other time, but I was too busy feeling guilty at the moment to even be bothered.

*****

Nine

I laid in bed later that night, still feeling the weight of what had transpired over at the dinner table.

I hadn't meant to make it sound like I didn't want Thea here, but I also knew that was exactly how my words had come across and that it had hurt Thea. The knowledge kept me awake, my mind over thinking the many ways I could have prevented it, and every part of me wished that I had a chance to explain.

I started the moment I heard some movement in the hall and quickly got to my feet. Thea hadn't come out of her room since dinner, and I figured this might be my only chance to apologize tonight.

Thea wasn't in the hallway by the time I had opened my door, but I heard some shuffling coming from the living room and decided to wait. It was a couple of minutes before Thea finally appeared, wearing another oversized shirt to sleep in as she headed back.

She stopped momentarily when she saw me waiting in the hall, surprised to see me there. Her eyes were a little swollen, and she looked quickly at the ground as she hesitated. Her steps were a little uncertain when she finally continued walking— but there was no way for her to avoid me if she was planning to go back to bed, and we both knew it.

"Can we talk?" I asked as she neared and Thea finally looked up. A little frown creased her forehead, as if she had no idea what I wanted to talk to her about and that worried her.

"Sure," she replied, moving past me, and I followed her as she walked towards her door.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," I said, letting my breath out. "For what I had said at dinner earlier, I mean. I'm sorry."

Thea glanced back at me as she opened her door, the expression on her face relaxing.

"Oh, okay," she said before stepping into her room, and I watched in confused disbelief as the door closed in front of me.

That was it? It couldn't be that easy.

I took a deep breath and softly knocked on her door. Thea opened it within seconds, and her brown eyes were questioning as they fell on me. "Was there something else?" Thea asked.

"Yes," I nodded and she waited for me to say it. "Thea, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't want you here or anything—I do. And I'm sorry if what I said—"

"Look," Thea stopped me mid-sentence. "I didn't think you meant anything bad by what you said earlier—that wasn't why I got emotional. It's just that, well, the question made me realize just how long it's gonna be until I get my green card and be able to spend Christmas at home again, and it just made me miss my family so much, you know?"

Thea's eyes met mine briefly as she spoke, and I was struck by just how much I wanted to take her sadness away. I couldn't even begin to think what it must feel like to not have that choice to see your family, even if you wanted to.

"So, that's why I was crying," Thea continued with a little smile. "And not necessarily because of what you said. Don't worry about it, okay?"

She waited a moment, but shrugged and moved to close her door again when I didn't immediately speak.

"No." I said, putting my hand out to stop her, and she did.

"No?" Thea frowned, looking a little bit annoyed as she waited for me to clarify.

But I didn't really know what to say to her. I just knew that I didn't want Thea to be alone tonight and that I didn't want to watch that door close on me again.

"Liv," Thea sighed in exasperation when I still didn't speak. "I get it. You want me here. You're sorry. And I accept. What more do you want from me?"

I kissed her, not really knowing how else to express the strong urge to comfort her that I was feeling in the way that she would understand.

I pressed my lips gently against hers, my hand moving to cup one side of Thea's face. It was a brief kiss, but my desire to find out what she tasted like also reared its head, and my tongue ran slowly across her lower lip as I pulled away. I breathed shakily, thrown at how much that simple kiss had affected me.

I opened my eyes to gauge Thea's reaction, struggling to keep myself in check. Thea's dark brown eyes stared right back at me, and the sudden lust I saw in them proved to be my own undoing as all control left me in that moment.

I wanted more. And so did she.

Thea stepped forward before I could lean in again for another kiss, and I caught her as she captured my mouth with hers. She continued to move, her lips repeatedly slashing across mine, and we fell into my bedroom as her tongue dipped to seek my own.

I growled, her heat pressing against my thighs bringing my desire to new heights. And then I felt Thea's fingers grazing against the skin of my lower back as she pulled me close, and I moaned.

I turned us around in one swift motion, softly kicking the door shut behind me as I hurriedly guided Thea towards my bed. I heard her gasp as our breasts touched, my nipples instantly hardening at the contact.

There were no thoughts of Rachel this time. No stubborn little voice in my head insisting that I shouldn't give into this. There was only the taste of Thea's mouth as our tongues continued to dance, and the supple warmth of her flesh underneath mine as my body followed hers onto the mattress.

Every part where my skin touched hers burned and immediately yearned for more, and my hand went under Thea's shirt in an effort to satisfy that hunger.

I tore my mouth away from her lips, trailing kisses down her jaw as my hand travelled up the skin of her stomach. My tongue demanded the taste of her neck, and I felt Thea squirm beneath me as my palm found a perfect breast and squeezed. Her hands clutched at my back, her nails digging into my flesh as her thighs tightened around my hips.

Thea moaned as I gasped, feeling my center pressed so deliciously against hers while my thumb rubbed light circles over her puckered nipple. Her moan gave way to a cry of pleasure when I pressed the hardened nub between my fingers and Thea quickly shifted, rolling me onto my back as she positioned herself on top.

I moaned thickly, realizing just how wet Thea had gotten me when I felt my own slickness deliciously slathered against my pussy beneath her thigh. Thea's brown eyes held mine, and I could only stare, mesmerized by those dark pools, as she slowly pulled herself up.

She positioned her knees on each side of my hips, and began deftly unbuttoning my top. I hissed, feeling the soft cotton grazing my sensitive nipples as Thea parted the fabric slowly, her eyes devouring each breast she had just bared.

Thea kissed me again, her mouth brushing chastely across my lips before swiftly drawing in a turgid nipple, causing me to gasp and strain harder against her. She began to suck with a gentle pressure, her hot tongue swirling as it teased my swollen nub. Her hand reached to play with my other breast, and I pressed my lips into my palm until the pleasure got too intense and I had no choice but to cry out in pleasure.

My hips bucked wildly underneath her, my pussy insistently trying to press against any part of Thea that it could, begging for attention. Thea finally relented, her mouth leaving my breasts and beginning a slow path downward as she moved between my knees.

I reached out, my hands frantically seeking Thea's wrists, uncertain whether I would be able to handle the pleasure her movements were promising—but wanting it so much that I was arching my back and spreading my thighs further apart at the same time.

Thea's hands worked quickly to remove my pajama bottoms as her mouth drew closer to my pussy. I breathed her name softly and propped myself up in anticipation as Thea hooked her arms beneath my thighs and settled between them—only to have my elbows give out weakly the moment I felt her tongue run across the full, wet length of my slit.

I fell back into my pillows, lost in the pure ecstasy of her tongue ravenously dipping into my aching hole. It created a warm, slick path towards my clitoris, and I tangled my hands in Thea's hair, sighing and moaning as I desperately urged her on.

"Mmmm," Thea moaned right along with me, the single sound vibrating thickly against my swollen nub and nearly sending me over the edge.

"Oh, God, please!" I breathed desperately, my hips wildly moving against her lips.

Thea knew exactly what I was pleading for, and her mouth went to work, her tongue flicking and slashing as it learned every inch of my cunt.

The muscles on my thighs began to tighten, bracing for the stormy orgasm that Thea was building up inside me. I moved my hands from her head and clutched at her shoulders, both careful and hungry in my efforts to keep her mouth exactly where I needed it.

Thea feasted to her heart's content, and I was in the brink of exploding by the time her tongue finally decided to concentrate on my clit. The firm strokes she began applying over and over on the sensitive nub was all it took, and the orgasm that had continuously threatened to take me over finally broke through.

I screamed, drowning in the intense pleasure that washed over me in sweetly satisfying pulses as I arched my back and held Thea's head against my warmth.

I came down from my orgasmic fog slowly, my legs loosening while Thea continued to gently lap up my juices. I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath, enjoying the little sounds Thea kept making, completely unaware of the desire she was gradually rekindling until my body began to respond once again.

Thea moved upwards, bracing her hands on both sides of me as her mouth placed a quick, wet kiss on my right nipple. She placed the same kiss on my lips and I kissed her back hungrily, reveling in my own feint taste in her mouth as I rushed to get her boxer shorts off of her.

Thea helped, eagerly discarding the item and drawing back as she took her shirt off next. She stopped briefly, her gaze holding mine while she positioned herself, and I watched one side of her mouth tilt into a sexy smile—right before she sank her neatly trimmed pussy against mine.

I moaned at the first contact of our clits, shivering at the feel of her slick wetness mixing with my own. My legs wrapped themselves around her as Thea began to move, and I heard the low growl that escaped her throat as my nails dug into the supple flesh of her ass and I pressed her harder.

I tried to match the rhythm of her thrusts as she increased her pace, and soon, our clits were rubbing and mashing together in quick and steady strokes. But my pussy was already too sensitive by this point, and my second orgasm came swiftly this time. I gripped Thea's ass, holding her still against me as I cried out, trembling as shock after delicious shock suddenly hit me.

Thea's body sagged against me as shock after delicious shock racked my trembling body. Her ragged breaths cradled me down from pleasure and I smiled as I waited for my heartbeat to return to normal. Only when my blood had finally stopped humming in my ears did I realize that Thea hadn't come yet.

I pulled myself up, seeking to start righting that wrong immediately by kissing Thea, who shifted to accommodate my movements. I slid my hand up her thigh and Thea gasped against my mouth as I cupped the soft swell of her breast, trapping her nipple between two fingers and lightly twisting the puckered nub.

She tore her mouth away from mine, her own hands moving to my shoulders and holding me back when I tried to follow. Her eyes glinted as Thea slowly leaned back and positioned her knees on each side of my hips. I watched, transfixed, as Thea took my right hand and deliberately drew my two middle fingers into her warm, wet mouth.

I sucked in a breath as Thea shifted. Her hair had come off of its ponytail and she pushed it off to one side before her hand positioned my glistening fingers right up against her sopping entrance.

"Oh my fucking God," I hissed, never so glad in my life that I had left the lights on. The vision of Thea with her head tilted and closing her eyes in rapture as she slowly sank into my fingers was just about the hottest thing I had ever seen.

Thea moaned, long and low, her eyes fluttering open only once I was buried into her as far as I could go. She sighed and bit her lips as our gazes met, and then she began moving against my fingers in a deliciously slow pace. I could feel the warm flesh of her cunt getting slicker even as it began to tighten around me, and Thea moved faster, keeping her eyes on me as she wildly rode my fingers.

I cupped her right breast with my free hand and Thea moaned, throwing her head back when I moved my hand downward and found her clit.

"Ffffuck," She cried out breathlessly as I pressed my thumb and began incessantly rubbing her distended nub. She bit her lower lip in pleasure, her head falling slightly forward as her eyes pleaded with mine.

"Liv," She whispered, desperate for the orgasm I so urgently wanted to give her. I pressed my fingers deeper into her cunt, watching her eyes widen and softly dilate in response.

"Oh my God, Liiiivvv!" She screamed, my name coming off her lips in a long-drawn out moan as she came uncontrollably against my fingers. She braced herself forward, her hips jerking continuously while she crested, whispering my name over and over...

*****

Ten

My thirst woke me later in the night, and I sat up my bed, feeling slightly disoriented until my mind finally registered the image of Thea sleeping beside me. I smiled, remembering why she was there. Thea and I had sex a couple more times before eventually drifting off, which probably explained my thirst.

I grabbed the nearest clothes I could find in the dark and put them on before making my way lazily towards the kitchen. I filled a glass with water and drank it, feeling the soreness in my muscles as I moved, and poured another glass, thinking that Thea might need some, too.

I was about to head back when I heard the door to the loft softly unlocking. Rachel walked in a second later, home from her shift at Maude's. Her face briefly registered surprise before she decided to ignore the fact that I was very clearly wearing one of Thea's shirts.

"Hey," she greeted, looking very tired.

"Merry Christmas," I smiled shyly, as a way of offering peace.

"Merry Christmas," she greeted back, but it was clear she still wasn't too pleased with me over what happened during dinner.

"I'm sorry," I finally sighed. "I'm sorry I ruined Christmas dinner."

Rachel's blue eyes looked me over, gauging my apology as she sat herself down on the dining table and took off her gloves.

"Okay," she shrugged. "But it's not really me you should be apologizing to."

"I know." I told her. "I apologized to Thea after you left and, we're good."

I couldn't help but smile then, remembering just how good Thea and I were.

"Then consider it water under the bridge," Rachel smiled.

It was then that I became aware of how calm I was feeling. For the first time in over a year, I was completely at ease while talking to Rachel—no anxiety, no nervousness, no worrying how my words might trip me up—and in the back of my mind, I realized that if there was ever a moment for me to tell Rachel how I felt, this was it.

And I might never have this chance again.

"Well, goodnight." Rachel told me as she stood to leave.

"Rachel, I like you." I said at the same time.

She stopped, looking surprised but not necessarily shocked.

"I've liked you for a good long while now." I shrugged in the uncomfortable silence that followed.

"Oh." She finally said. And then, "I'm sorry, Liv. I just—I don't—!"

I understood then that Rachel was trying to let me down easy, and I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. I couldn't believe how incredibly relieved I suddenly felt in that moment, and I realized just how much I had been hoping Rachel wouldn't say she liked me back.

"It's not anything against you!" Rachel said quickly, misreading my stunned expression. "It's just that I like..."

I glanced up when she didn't immediately finish, and Rachel sighed, her gaze dropping as she continued. "Chris. I like Chris."

Her admission caught me off guard, but everything started falling together quickly enough. I saw it all more clearly now—the looks I had seen her and Chris share, the way Rachel would sometimes seem flustered when Chris was around, and how evasive Chris had been lately whenever I would talk about Rachel.

"And Chris likes you, too..." I said, more of a statement than a question as the realization dawned on me.

I watched Rachel blush as she hesitantly nodded.

"I think so," she said. "But I think he's too afraid to act on it—I am, too! It's just, we don't know how you'd take it. I mean, it was pretty obvious you had a crush on me."

Rachel's blush deepened as she hurriedly explained and I had to laugh a little even as I continued to take in all this information.

"And here I thought I had been so cool about it." I quipped drily, and Rachel laughed, too.

"Wow, you and Chris, huh?" I said after a moment. "Makes sense."

I smiled then, mostly from the fact that I was feeling so free all of a sudden. My silly crush on Rachel was gone, and there was so much possibility now ahead of me—particularly when it came to Thea.

"I didn't expect you to be this goddamned happy about it," Rachel grinned, and I laughed again.

The two of us talked a little bit more before finally saying goodnight. I stopped in the living room on the way back, my eyes coming across something under the Christmas tree that I hadn't seen before. I walked over to take a closer look and smiled.

There were three gifts under that tree now—one for Rachel, one for me, and even one for Chris. None of them were signed, but it was clear who they were from. I took mine and opened it, eager to see what Thea had gotten me.

It was a teal cashmere scarf, and I instinctively held it to my cheek to feel its softness. I smiled, remembering the night Thea had lent me her own scarf, and I knew that Thea must have been thinking about that, too, when she had bought this one for me.

I was still smiling by the time I got back to my room, scarf in hand, only to find my bed empty. Thea was no longer there, and I figured she must have woken up and decided to sleep in her own bed.