All Comments on 'While You Were Sleeping Pt. 01'

It felt like in all the moments Jennifer was with Jim, you lobotomized her character so she would act the way you wanted her to act for the betrayal to happen.

For the Read.

I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in any of these folks shoes...

Her actions were understandable.

It would take a special kind of strength to move on from this.

I am not sure I personally would be able to forgive.

More backstory about their relationship required...

The circumstances were extreme in this case but at the end of the day she still cheated. She was not forced to cheat as much as she allowed herself to be seduced. Matt needs to process this news and re-evaluate the woman he thought was his wife, the partner that was supposed to have his back while he was in a coma. There is no way that he can respect her. There is no way he can trust her. There is no way her lack of care for him and her children will not affect his ability to love her. She is a liability.

It turns out she's pregnant by Jim......AND Has an STD......And.......

obviously didn't mean shit to her, did it?

nuke the bitch.

Well, I never thought I'd say this, given some of the excruciatingly long winded, multi-chapter tales in LW, but... I think you could have spent a bit more time setting up CH2, particularly Jen and Jim's one night affair. It just happened TOO fast to be believable. Perhaps if Matt had been in a coma 4 YEARS... Good effort though otherwise!

So two months into her loving and faithful husbands coma she fucks his best friend. How the hell does a sane man come back from that? I'm curious how to do it. Bring on ch. 2.

no rating till the end

This story is in a coma.

She says she loves him but confesses when he's at his most vulnerable. That is not love coming from her; that's using him to ease her guilt and manipulating him forcing him to be dependent on her when he couldn't even put on his socks or pee himself. How could she ever possibly think he would NOT be hurt through and through by her confession of betrayal when he was helpless in a coma? She was so worried she was going to lose him she had sex with his best friend!?!?!? Women know how to say NO and practice a life time at it. They also usually are where they want to be. This time it was on the end of Jim's pee pee. So much for loyalty and vows. Sure Matt will try to find a reason to justify her BS cause he loves her. But come on, Matt was gone but not yet cold and she was really already testing the waters trying out a replacement; then she just has to tell the truth before he's even out of bed to get it off her chest - - - cause she loves him so much? That's not love.

my guess for chapter two she is pregnant with no chance of it being her husbands. He divorces her and gets custody of the kids. Jim dumps her as he already got what he wanted a piece of someone else's pie. She commits suicide as a final act of her mental illness. 3* for a short story that could have been completed in one chapter.

I usually don't like stories told from more than one first-person viewpoint. They usually come across to me as chopping and changing and losing continuity.

But I felt that this story did it well. The wife's remorse and recognition of her inability to undo what she has done was explored well. It will be interesting to see whether the husband's turmoil will be further explored in Chapter 2. He has (inevitably) been a bit od a bystander for most of Chapter 1.

L

Ps: Please don't delete the negative comments. They make for entertaining reading. Just leave them be and sit back feeling smug about your intellectual superiority.

Looking forward to see where you're taking this

It could happen.

I'm on her side on this one. She has no idea when he's gong to wake up, if ever, and 4 months of being seduced is a long time to say no. So she feels guilty and confesses and the whole family is bent out of shape? Really? How often did they ask to see their dad? Because I didn't see any repeated calls from them to go to the hospital...

Very good start...but the important in this story isn't how it started, but how it'll end...Yes, she cheated, but she faced it as a real woman...She didn't tried to hide it, in the hope no one would find out...She put it all in the open to her husband and children...3* for now, as I'll rate it as a whole in the last part...

I hope that you can put things back together. It is a terrible thing to sin and cheat but that is why God gave us the law of repentance, Jennifer feels terrible, it is up to Matt to forgive her.

I think that this is going to be a sad story but I hope that it ends well. Jim deliberately seduced jenn and as far as I am concerned should suffer the consequences and I hope the author makes sure that he does. I hope that they can get past this and become a true family again

But Iam getting tired of reading part one then waiting months for part 2 ,That's becoming the norm for this lw cat. I will wait to vote on the end if I can remember the story by then. Part 2 should already be sent in writers are getting to lazy on this site. So far it's a good start

Yes I know it's nitpicking but....

Grand Cayman is part of the Cayman Is. (south-west of Jamaica) not The Bahamas (east of Florida)

as for the story itself...waiting for the continuation but not too bad a start.

Friend Jim is a no good pile of crap. the wife wanted this to happen she knew what he was doing and still kept going out with him . There not a woman alive that's not hit on weekly by some slime ball. Four months what a short time to be a loving wife but no she went out and shit on their marriage . if she needed friends she had girl friends to help and nurses get hit on day after day I am one. So she can't say I didnt know .I. Hope she gave hubby aids or some std no protection with player Jim.And the kids not saying anything about moms date night high school kids are not dumb they didn't say shit . If a wife and husband can't go 4 months without what does that tell our solders gone months at a time . The non stop crying at a drop of a hat shows a self centered woman who thinks only of her self not others .

Thanks to everyone commenting, both positive and negative. I am still a pretty new author so appreciate the comments. As for this story, my original intention was to finish writing them all and post in serial, but got as impatient as you readers do, sorry. I will likely wrap up the rest of the chapter(s), have edited and post at the same time. Thanks for reading!

Of course, she is pregnant. What a great friend Jim is.

First off, you're new. Ok. So, I'm supposed to take pity on you? :-) Not gonna happen my friend...

1. Your story was readable. The writing told a story and for the most part my impression is that you understand the English language. I don't remember any glaring grammatical or syntactic errors. but I wouldn't really tweak you for that anyway.

2. Four months?! If you're going to do four months why not make it four weeks? I mean, damn, she wore down in, what, 4 dates? This is completely unrealistic. As another commenter mentioned, you lobotomized her.

3. Wow, the timing...LOL. She 'breaks down' and fucks dude and, presto, her husband wakes up!! And then, before dude can really stand up, she's confessing?! C'mon man, this is slapstick. What next, she was blowing the trucker who put him in the coma?

4. This is the kind of story that needs to be wrapped up quickly. You can't start out with some gaping plot issues and string out the 'conclusion' for many chapters. With these 'characters' I'm like just get it over with!!

It took a lot of balls to post this story. You get high marks for that. And I liked it enough to be waiting for the next chapter. I'm not sure where you're going with this beyond the norm, so reserve voting until the next chapter is delivered.

The mix up of characters between Jim and Matt, keep them straight otherwise a good story.

to use the nursing profession as some sort of vehicle for promiscuity. Seems nurses in LW stories seem to have PLENTY of opportunity to fuck around with doctors, or even patients, etc.

I know this has no bearing in the story you have been writing here, which is actually pretty good so far. But I felt I just had to share my thoughts in response to this set-up.

Here's just a little "what if???"

BECAUSE Jim, was the best friend, and he made himself available for the cheating opportunity, she had a hard time resisting. But BECAUSE Jim was the best friend, she KNEW it couldn't be kept a secret. This is why she had to get "out in front of it" and confess almost right away. SHE KNOWS (as a nurse, no less) JUST HOW MUCH he needs her while he is still in recovery from the coma. So, she KNOWS he will forgive this one time thing. Because even if he questions Jim, Jim will have to confirm the one-time-only status. But............

All of this will provide the smokescreen that she needs, and has needed all along. Everybody knows how she can cry at the drop of a hat, but may be she knows that recovering from her betrayal will need more than just tears this time. So she set Jim up to be the fall guy and target for her cheating behaviors. Because, as Matt regains more of his pre-coma memory, he remembers having been suspicious of her already! Because slowly we find out that her REAL affair has been happening with one of the doctors at work for the last (however long? year or two?). But while Matt is dealing with her most recent betrayal (the only one he is aware of), he MAY even kick her out, right into the arms of her REAL lover!! OR..... If caught sometime way down the road in the future, she can point to THIS time of Matt accepting her adultery, and feel like he would have to accept the main one too. After all, he NEEDS her more than she needs him, right??

I have a sense that none of this is where you are planning to go, but longtime LW readers are ALWAYS looking for the creative plot twist. And the more diabolical the cheating plan, the better!

May be we learn that she is even responsible for damaging his car in the first place? I know you described the accident as not the result of mechanical failure, but may be the initial police report was wrong, or falsified in some way?

Anyway, these were just some thoughts.....

Thanks for your efforts! So far at face value, we might actually believe that she is full of remorse and sincerely contrite enough to support reconciliation.....

But is it EVER really that simple??

We'll just have to stay tuned, and wait to see what YOU came up with......

Is she at fault in this scenario? For sure. Could the emotional mountain that was crushing cause this lapse in judgement? I think so. The emotional affair, if there was one appears to be the worst part, but what was her role in it? I apply the lions share of the blame on Jim. He knew what he was doing. He orchestrated the meetings. He was supposedly Matts best friend (yea right). A one time physical indescretion can be forgiven in this circumstance. Jim is toast though. He broke a best friend rule. Now if Matt had died, she would have been fair game.

I have to wonder about some of the comments. This seems like a really good setup to me.

The wife is dealing with the pain of possibly losing her husband, the loneliest and uncertainty of the situation and the demands of everyday family life. She would be a complete mess during such an emotional earthquake. Should she have seen what a slime the friend was? Yes, but he was a friend and she trusted him. He offered her an escape from the disaster that was her reality and she took it. She also saw that it was wrong and regretted it almost as soon as she did.

That does not make it right but I can see this being a case where forgiveness might be warranted. While he was sleeping, she was suffering.

But that 'friend' should get what is coming to him.

Thanks, great story so far but a little short.

stories not being about real life as in the btb theme then you have a person in a coma for four months wakes up talks to the doctor and goes home all within a few days you was he super man. Just saying

Well, as a friend, Jim is truly a piece of shit. I hope he gets his in Pt. 02. Jenn is also quite flawed (obviously) but her behavior doesn't make sense to me. Maybe after a four year coma I can understand the separation of feelings; especially if there is the possibility of him not ever waking up. But four months; she is has incredibly weak character. Sorry, but I do enjoy the BTB outcome in stories like this.

BDEarth

5 *'s and favorite story status

I couldn't stop until the end. Gut wrenching yet erotic at the same time. Wifey must be a very fragile and emotionally needy person to have folded her resolve up after only 4 months. But of course, the predator, Jim, took advantage of what he wanted all along, getting her in her weakest and most vulnerable time. And speaking of time, I figure with the details of the story, we'll that wifey is only around 40 years old, and probably will miss her period in about two weeks time. Since the vascectomied hubby hasn't been around except that first night home, Uh Oh! Further complications of the natal kind!

I thought that maybe during the shifts at the hospital, wifey could have overheard the other nurses whispering about things like, "I don't know how she is getting along without sex a home" and so forth. Could have set up the events a little better to understanding her thought process and emotional state.

Looking for to a soon Pt. 02 and maybe several more parts before we find out about the meaning of the rectangle and the square.

Interesting beginning. Telling husband and children essentially as soon as the adultery occurs is very unusual. No rating until part 2 appears.

To score this. It has such potential and I hope you can continue the reality of the situation and not fall victim to taking the easy way out and just btb or wimp out. The reality of life and love is based on compassion and justice not merely forgiveness and revenge... too many Graves line that highway.

Great character construction - especially Jennifer - really a treat to encounter multidimensional people who are more than caricatures of virtue or vice - I'm anxious to see how the story is resolved. Thanks and encouragement!

Of course, she gave it up too quickly especially considering her experience in the hospital. But I do think that she was under extreme emotional pressure and tried to relax a bit. Basically just as in the case of prisoners, there comes a moment where you flee reality and try to take control in a hopeless.

My first reaction was to get angry with her for telling him before he was back on his feet, but again her lack of emotional control told him that something was wrong and she felt the need to tell the truth.

She gets points for telling right away.

She gets points for even telling the kids, that would be hard.

I think she was under severe emotional turmoil. and the bastard took advantage of her. He may have even slipped something into her drink?

In this case, I hope the fix it, and, I hope his friend gets burned into ash.

He is the lowest of scum, he intentionally went after her.

It would be one thing if the coma was years long, but only 4 months, no he needs burned.

Four months of extreme emotional distress, trying to keep everything together for the kids while hubby is in a coma with no way of knowing when or if he'll come out of it, she's stretched to the breaking point and her guard is down because Jim is hubby's trusted best friend. Happens only once, she regrets it instantly, confesses all to hubby and the kids almost immediately and takes full responsibility - she hasn't even tried to put any of the blame on Jim. Long sessions of family counseling for everybody.

Jim, on the other hand, needs to be burnt to a crisp.

So we know that she got knocked up by Jim. Otherwise why mention her husband had a vasectomy? So in the face of that revelation in Chapter 2, there are three options.

1) Her husband tosses her out. -okay option. But boring. BTDT.

2) He doesn't and decides to raise Jim's kid. -horrible choice

3) He's all conflicted, doesn't know what to do, but then she miscarries so no baby and they can now reconcile after much profession of love. -meh

Is there a fourth? Be creative.

You write well. Try something interesting without all the handwringing.

Oh - and I agree with the other comments regarding the time frame.

Stress can cause a person to fall off their usual path and do u ordinary things, sometimes stupid things. This is forgivable, if not then do u even love yourself let alone your spouse?

I am looking forward to more! ***** p.s. Take the story wherever you want. I am with you.

and you have lots of directions to take this tale -pregnant, STDs, forgive, forget ?

Having hubby 90% physically dependent on wife while knowing she cheated would be a blow enough of any mans ego to send every male into depression-or a "fight or flight" response (but he cannot run)

Looking forward to you wrap up. Thanks for posting

She's a trauma nurse, finished in the top 5% of her class, and has years of experience as a wife and mother. So of course she:

1. Forgets that his coma is totally recoverable but unpredictable in duration, so there is no basis for thinking his condition will be long term or leave him debilitated.

2. Forgets that though he is uncommunicative, he may very well hear her, and would benefit by her simply talking and reading to him on evenings, well, when she's not dating Jim, of course.

3. Forgets that she has witnessed the same situation with numerous patients and their families, and is very familiar with the stress, struggles, anxieties, and uncertainties that accompany such injuries and recovery time.

3. Forgets that she's a woman, and Jim is a man, and he wants what she's got, like every other dirt-bag predator that prey on women when they are scared and vulnerable.

4. Forgets whatever she has taught her daughter about discerning and avoiding clever persuasive conniving pussy hounds.

5. Forgets whatever she has taught her daughter about unprotected sex! She's a fucking nurse!!

6. Forgets about all the failed marriages she has witnessed in the medical community when husband or wife couldn't keep it in their pants, couldn't resist the handsome or beautiful doctor/nurse, couldn't remember their marriage vows. Its so common in her everyday working world its pathetic and laughable. But, she just forgot, 'cause she got lonely. And horny.

Other than that, you're off to a great start. And it is so unpredictable what will happen next! Tell you what, I will wait till the end to rate this series. Even though this first chapter is a 3 or a 4, if you can end this in 5 style then you get all 5's. Please, don't disappoint me.

And either way, thanks for the effort. Just because you have crafted such a stupid character in the wife doesn't mean it has to end up being a stupid story. Good luck with it.

After mentioning the vasectomy we have to figure she gets pregnant again. At which point then dear old Jim will have an abortion to pay for. If.it was me he would any way.noway would i raise another mans kid. If she decided to keep it Then again Dear old Jim better be willing to take and raise his own kid and do it in another state . Otherwise every time i saw his sorry ass I would beat him till his face looked like raw hamburger. As for my wife.ifs he had the kid. i wouldn't divorce her But I would live in spare room till the kids were 18 then walk out on her and find a woman that wouldn't cheat. Marriage. As Poe said nevermore

Yeah, I know it's only the first chapter and there's more to come, but the sole focus is on her. Why nothing about Jim except a token reference to him as an asshole?

<P>

It doesn't excuse what she did, but she was vulnerable, she was in a weak state. Jim is the one who did the most betraying. This was his friend and he took advantage of her in this state. I'm assuming he'll get his comeuppance in later chapters, but there really should have been something representing Matt's anger at him. Yes, her cheating is the more immediate blow, but Jim is the far more culpable on of the two.

She was shocked and dismayed the first time Jim kissed her and she kept him at arms length. After promising to be good, he took her out and did it again and finally on a third try he gets her liquored up, takes her to a park and literally fucks her...some friend - NOT, a predator!

She is guilty of letting her defense subside and no way will she get past it.

I'm hoping, or figuring, that you will disclose to hubby what Jim was all about in the second chapter and then, probably after a lot of counseling - they'll deal with her pregnancy.

BTW, she's a nurse with connections...abortion? If she was a slut, she could move in with the predator but she is a sad and sorry wife who really does love her husband and family so...are you going to tell us that they are going to raise someone else' child...won't work, doesn't fit psychologically!

Thanks for the read. In the real world, this scenario is very possible so it made for good reading. Thanks again!

this is a great story line as it could very well happen in real life. to lose someone that u love, if even in a coma, in your daily life can cause lots of problems. granted she shouldn't have gone out with his friend jim but humans do need adult interaction in their daily life to keep sane. drinking with him was a big no no but then again it was a release on what was going on in her life at the time. many ways this story can go so hope to see next chapter soon. keep writing

they read like the Cliff's Notes version of a story: All TELL and no SHOW, resulting in a cold and uninvolving narrative.

I was interested in the premise, having spent two months in a coma a few years ago, the result of a MASSIVE stroke.

Fortunately, MY wife - unlike the wife in the story - proved just how incredible she was (and is) by being my tireless Healthcare Advocate for the entire eleven months I spent in various ERs, ICUs, CCUs, Physical Rehabilitation Centers and a Nursing home. She has been my loving Caregiver in the more than seven years since I was discharged back home at the end of those eleven months.

I might try to read the rest of this chapter at a later date - The other comments here make it sound as though it is worth a second try.

-Rei

Waiting for part 2 with interest.

The problem is the confession to the kids , did they have to know? Now she is pregnant had unprotected sex. The clue was put into not this story earlier,as frank had a vasectomy. What will happen now. A devoted wife,a mistake,a angry husband and kids, she could commit issued in such a state

Seems like mom/wife was taken advantage of. Jim is history, patch up the marriage and the family. Well written, good story theme. Very nice, more please. xoxoxox Annette

Ok......we have an experienced nurse having unprotected sex so she gets pregnant and that is stupid since she could've taken a morning after pill. So the next problem is that she doesn't want to abort the child and her husband gets depressed and thinks his life is over........he wishes he had died. What happens next?

Then Matt decides he'll rebuild his body and thus begins his self involvement in recovering mentally also. They are sleeping in separate bedrooms since her confession and they grow distant from each other. Jim is nowhere to be found since her confession that she is carrying his child and the whole time Matt is getting mentally and physically stronger. Wondering how close I am at this point?

She and Matt go to counseling and they finally get back together since it was a one time thing and she was drunk enough to drop her panties, she has the bastard child and they stay together and raise it like it was one of their other children. They all live happily ever after, Jim pays child support and life is grand but I think this is bullshit if the writer goes in this direction.

I'd be pissed that my wife 1) fucked my best friend 2) was stupid enough to get pregnant 3) told my children without me being by her side 4) never brought up immediately the idea of marriage counseling 5) never brought up the idea of aborting the child asap or at least giving Matt the choice of what to do.

So, if this is the way this goes........it will severely suck.

Matt needs to rebuild, castrate Jim so he can't spread any more seed, love HIS children, divorce the weak woman and find another to take her place.

Would love to hear Jim's side of story with details about how much he wanted to fuck her and how great it felt when it was happening, with details.

Why did she tell him and why tell the kids.

Oh yeah, stupid.

“I haven't seen him recently though." – Why tell a lie that might come back to bite her?

I agree with those who say she shouldn't have confessed, CERTAINLY not before he was back to normal.

And what kind of a "best friend" takes advantage of a friend's incapacitation to seduce his wife?!

It feels like the story is pre-positioned in Chapter One for a pregnancy [Per Anon: What's Happening Next] in Chapter Two, given hubby's vasectomy and the heavy atmosphere intoned already. Which would make this early 40s female another annoying example of the "one hit wonder", in managing to get pregnant in a single episode of infidelity. This device is overused in fiction: one, since it is relatively rare in reality--and two, as it comes with a B side of melodrama regarding why can't she be forgiven since it was only once....And if we get pregnancy, then as Anon said, we will likely get the No Abortion family drama of how to go on with a new baby that is not dad's--sort of like pushing dough through a sieve!...Yuk!...Otherwise, Annette Bishop is absolutely right...this seems totally forgivable....Her husband was in a coma for 3 or 4 months. She was distraught and vulnerable. She needed comforting and was taken advantage of. This is not a big deal. Hubby and children should be understanding. There was no reason to bring this up even, unless the author is going to serve up a pregnancy and baby drama....That leaves us with a problem of proportionality....If the author gave us a 4 or 5 episodes which would make pregnancy more likely, then the issue of forgiveness also becomes proportionally more difficult. And more interesting...But as is, it feels like Anon: WHN has his dog on the scent as to where this is going.

This should give Steve a lot of motivation to get threw therapy. So he can Kick the sh!t out of his so called Best "friend" Jim.

I'm very interested in how you develop this.

If her infidelity had been after hubby was in a coma for some YEARS, and especially after a particular trauma like a neuro saying "We have to prepare for the worst, it's possible he won't ever wake up," I could understand a moment of weakness.

But four months ?

Good reading experience. I am interested in were you will take the story and characters. So many ways you could write it.

Please keeping writing and I will definitely be reading!

First off I appreciate all the comments that I have gotten for this first chapter. The second chapter is off to my editor and will hopefully be up to read within a few days.

Second, I am glad that a lot of people want to see an original storyline in LW, I too agree that the storyline in most seem to fit into pre-designed categories. I have set this up as intended, and hope that as the rest unfolds you will all enjoy reading it as much as I have had writing it.

Cheers!

When I read this story it struck me that the selfish one is the husband. The wife was scared and alone and was seduced in a vulnerable state. After having sex with Jim she was full of remorse. She admitted her indiscretion to her husband, seeking forgiveness and understanding. What she got instead was arrogant aloofness from a man whose pride is more important than the stability of his mate whom he supposedly loves...bullshit. There appears to be no empathy from the husband towards his wife considering he could have been in a coma forever leaving a distraught spouse unsure about her future. Why tell the children anything, it is none of their business unless the marriage can not be saved, go to counseling instead. Allowing the wife to face the children alone, which at this point I consider inappropriate unless a divorce is imminent, convinces me the husband is also a coward.

A stunned cheated husband, a remorseful wife who had been lost and lonely and a manipulative predator who had betrayed them both.

Well written and continue the story!

Four months and she's so in love with her hubby but she fucks his best friend. She should of slapped him the first time he kissed her. What a dick he is . I'd hate to see them divorce but their marriage will never be the same. He almost died lost his best friend and has a wife who fucked his friend just four months after he was hurt. A person who a spouse who passed away should be waiting a lot longer than four months before she jumps on someone else's dick. There really is no excuse for that . Good story

Gave you3*s. It was an okay story. Interesting enough characters. Good plot. Intelligible dialogue. Looking forward to more creative second chapter.

Rnebular huh? A conehead right? Excuse me, I mean you're from France, right? Lol !

AMerryman

This is a pretty good beginning. I think you're pretty accurately portraying some of the dynamic when a spouse cheats on another. To the poster above, I'd have to disagree that the husband is a jerk. Yes, there's a lot of sympathy for the wife here (there is usually very little sympathy in a lot of situations where spouses cheat) BUT, as one poster mentioned: he nearly died and now his wife drops this on him. You have to remember, he's still in shock right now. They haven't talked anything out so he doesn't know anything at the moment. He thought he had a new lease on life to only find out that his life has completely changed through no fault of his own. Short of it is if you want to have another partner, leave your marriage. There's no reason to harm someone so emotionally when you always have the option to leave. Good story though. I look forward to reading more. I would also suggest if you like exploring this type of story/genre to make a less sympathetic spouse. It should be much more raw for the reader then.

and she may not be knocked up. TK U MLJ LV NV

She is a whore just like half of the peoples wives that are reading this story.

Best friend seems to have a new meaning in this story.

I feel sorry for husband and wife and hope the predator gets his ass kicked.

Bit more communication over a drunken fumble in the car. Everyone seems to want to blame rather than talk how it happened, drunk, stressed, manipulated, vulnerable, tired. No full blown excuse but a lot of pressure.

Not sure how two more chapters of angst is going to go but will continue

cheating whore to it was up to the husband to get over it, she was suffering while he was in a coma. And then the one's that said all the fault lay with Jim, the best friend. I don't know which is sillier. Wife was indeed stressed and absolutely at wit's end. She was shouldering a heavy, heavy load. Hubby refused to help her during this time. I mean, just because he was in a coma and when he did wake up with all of the vagueness that goes with that he should have been able to make cutting edge decisions immediately. I don't think so. To any of it. First I don't think the wife was a dirty whore but she did put herself into situations that she shouldn't have. Secondly, I think that when the husband gets his wits about him he will be able to make better decisions, he's pretty raw right now. I think thirdly that the bestie was a piece of shit for pushing like he did but I bet he had wanted her forever, so that makes what he did okay, right. Probably not. As I see it hubby has choices to make, but he shouldn't have to make them until he heals up a bit. Keeping in mind that when all is said and done the only one who betrayed him was his wife. She was the only one who vowed to "forsake all others" in sickness and in health. The guy was just a guy when all is said and done. He used a terrible sense of moral lassitude in fucking the friend's wife, but he didn't make any vows to his friend. So, that makes it easier for hubby, just one to deal with and agonize over. She broke her vows, can he forgive her? All it boils down to. Why did she do it and what circumstances would lead to her doing it again? It can be gotten around, if he wants to. Bestie, however is toast. You can never trust a thief. End of deliberations.

Bring on part 2. Hooty-hoo

Definitely an interesting storyline.

Re-read this. Not sure what brought me back.

A four month coma is a long time. Unless it is medically induced (and I presume even then), comas lasting over a month or month and a half aren't something people usually come out of a) at all, b) suddenly, c) without ongoing deficits.

While in a coma, it is very emotionally difficult, exactly because it makes it hard for family to know how to react and cope. Is that person going to return, or no? Are they still there?

It is very understandable that even a well balanced and faithful adult is going to be emotionally vulnerable and simply in need of some outlet after that many months without any sign of recovery. Why wouldn't they? The odds are, their spouse isn't coming back. His recovery was the aberration from the norm (not that it was a bad thing, just less likely than his continuing in a coma at that point.)

That there wasn't more of a support system in place to help them work through what happened and realize it was a very normal and human response to having for all intents and purposes lost your spouse is really the shocking thing. His response is pretty callow.

Just don't see this as an issue between BTB or RAAC. Four months of vegetative coma is a long time and likely to be permanent, it is very natural for someone to begin the process (even if messy) of moving on at that point. There are many similarities to the wife's situation and that of widows. The ambiguity of an extended coma vs outright death just makes it more emotionally fraught.

No need to finish, there is nothing you could write to rehabilitate this cum dumpster of a wife.... What garbage.....

Things were a bit too melodramatic for my taste.

My suspicion is that she will get pregnant, considering the vasectomy mention, and then not do the sensible thing and get an abortion immeduately, either that or there will just be a lot of handwringing and overblown drama to fill up the next two chapters.

Cheating is as old as the hills, but this story is refreshing for having the wife be honest. A long coma, the stress, the slow consistent and subtle seduction. I don't blame her. Ignore the BTB crowd. This is a good story so far.

This is a good start on what may shape up to be a good story, a really good story, or a waste of time and space on the internet. I guess we'll see in chapter two. If the second chapter is as good as the first I will be pleased. I suppose it depends on how the husband handles the "affair".

But you don't cheat on someone you love, even if they are not expected to live. She acknowledged there was an issue with Jim and yet continued to put herself in situations with him. She did not put her husband first. She made the decision to do it. She loves her husband? Bullshit!

That is not a long time. Those who think it is have no brain. She couldn't keep her legs closed for 4 short months! Give us a break. If it was 4 years that would be a little different. She is obviously a weak, needy drama queen. This selfish act should not be forgiven. But we all know it's going to be. RAAC story of the most pathetic order. Oh and Jim is clearly a scumbag asshole who should get this head bashed in as violently as possible.

Gee, I'm glad Matt was not in the Service, deployed - there is no tour shorter that 6mo. Nice to have such good friends too, near the same that my good friend did to me when I went to Nam - it only took my high school sweetheart/wife 3mo to run off with my best friend and knocking her up in 4mo.

As someone else said, this is a good start toward what could be a very good story. I hope it stays on track and turns out to be the story I believe it could be. We'll see.

Selfishness of course, unburden your closet load of crap, by dumping it on someone else. She was a best dumb and weak for cheating in the first place, but to me the telling him so soon is a sign of even more serious personal flaws.

Jim needs some serious consequences, go get him! OldBearSwitch

This aught to please the Misogynists out there wanting a vengeance story. I still think Literotica should have a Vengeance genre.

and as a nurse she should know how to find a reputable shrink, not IN her hospital, who would keep confidentiality. She obviously needed to unburden herself and a shrink or a priest is her best bet. Simply talking about it confidentially, since she couldn't seem to keep it to herself, should have allowed her to spare her husband. But alas....

... You got to at least give this to Jennifer: she's probably one of the most honest ones in all of LIT.

Maybe a little too honest, actually - it's one thing to confess your sin to your husband, but to straight-up tell it to your kids? YO... That's above and beyond right there! I mean, I sorta get bringing Sydney in, but the boys are underage... Don't know if they needed to see their mom in that light - but, then again, neither Matt or her daughter deserved it, so...

Jim's an obvious piece of shit who targeted Jennifer at her weakest point - not an excuse for what she ultimately ended up doing ('should have being stronger to push off his advances, especially given that she already knew what he was looking for), just stating cold, hard fact here.

This is one special LW story, because of the fact there's no doubt, in my mind, that the wife is actually very remorseful about her infidelity. However, it doesn't mean that Matt should forgive her, far from it... I'm foreseeing a reconciliation, but wouldn't be surprised to see them both going their own way.

On to the next chapter, I guess...

You don't have to spread your legs if you are a woman and you don't have to take out your penis if you are a man it is a choice.

... lurking around somewhere. Watching & waiting.

Since the author made such a big deal about the vasectomy she has to be preggo. Oh well, let's see. Shall we?

of part of Lonesome Dove.

Jenn, I might forgive after severe conversation and much contrition. Jim, on the other, would be dealt with by extreme violence. No apology accepted.

I wish more people would pay me.

If a person has some sort of cheating DNA it will happen no matter what. In this story she should be so concerned about her husband surviving sex should not be on her mind. She would also be concerned about longterm care and what if he does not wake up and think of her kids and how it (coma) affects them. Sex again should not be on her mind.

So if in four months time Jim can have that affect on her and all the time she knew what she was doing then inside she is a cheater and risking her family was worth the shot.

So if at this time which should be the least time to cheat she does I feel that sooner or later she would anyway.

Should have known from your little rant in the beginning paragraph this is just another weak character-ed story stopped when the wife went on a date with the "Husband's Best Friend" not worth the read if Cuckold theme is not your thing. In one sentence you write Husband is the center of her universe and only after two months she on a couple dates to relieve her stress. BS!

the writing were any good.

Plotting was okay.

Characters NOT. No development, NOTHING. Somehow, they just were there with the stereotypical behaviours and emotions.

Why are characters in these stories so two-dimensional?

It doesn't require much effort or extra lines in the story to build the characters, but without that added bit there is no empathy, no involvement of the reader in the story.

So, it just reads like a 12-year old's stupid fantasy.

TOO BAD.

Grand Caymans are south of Cuba. Bahamas are...not. Sidney is identified as Sydney a couple of places.

Get an editor and spruce it up a bit. This is a good enough plot to continue with, R.

Again. Its been a long time since I have read this and I had forgotten just how.much I enjoyed it.

I would have enjoyed a little more background on the 'coma period' It needed more emotional information on Jim and Jennifer. There was so little sexual activity with Jim that Jennifer's emotional experience would have put it into better context. Every man would hope that his wife would resist attempts by 'best friends' like Jim if he were incapacitated but dealing with a seriously injured husband must be depressing, worrying and, to some extent, even traumatic depending on the mental strength of a wife but emotions can inhibit even the strongest bonds. Perhaps 'Part 2' can sort that out, Good Job so far. 3*** Thank you.

3 stars - There is not much that is compelling in this part that encourages me to want to try reading a second.

I thought the writing was pretty good, but who the hell tells kids they're cheating on their dad? Let them hear about it on the street like most familes.

Third or fourth time through and still pretty damn good.

Wonderful premise, with strong dramatic possibilities.

Shoulda kept her mouth sealed, as for him - his reaction totally uncalled for and unlike the reaction of anyone I know of that has been at deaths door for months! What in hell is with dragging the kids into this story? Aaagh, no part 2 for me!

Story premise fine. Different people react differently. Small detail can disrupt if not accurate - Grand Cayman is not near Bahamas.

alan.suenram@outlook.com

It wasn Jims fault that she fucked him unless he raped her which he did not purely voluntary. Her love didn't stand the test.