Wife Cums Clean Ch. 05

"Let me just sit here for a second and adjust to you inside me," she would say.

Sara would sit as still as she could but Mike would flex his cock muscles and make her feel it swell inside her. Her pussy would clamp down on his cock instinctively, beginning to milk his cock naturally. Once Sara started getting full and easy strokes up and down Mike's cock, Mike would take over and fuck the ever loving shit out of her. She would have to hold on for dear life while Mike destroyed her pussy for every future man that ever got the pleasure of fucking her. Sara didn't have big tits, but I imagined that she had an amazing pussy that Mike took full advantage of.

A friend of Jessica's once told her that she dated a guy with a huge cock. It was so big that she could only suck the head and couldn't really get it in her mouth. She was surprised that she could actually get it in her pussy. She told Jessica that the secret was that they had to have about thirty minutes of foreplay in order to get her wet enough and loose enough to take him in and it was still a slow process. She said that a woman's vaginal canal elongates as she becomes more aroused. This must have been what happened with Sara's little snatch.

When I imagined Mike rutting fully into Sara's tight snatch and bathing her cervix with his seed, I was fully erect. I put the ruler on the top of my dick and measured from the base to the tip. Oh my God, four inches. Wait, I remembered reading that the measurement should be done from the bottom of the shaft. I re-positioned the ruler and remeasured. It was only four and one quarter inches! Fuck! Wait, I need to measure the entire shaft on the bottom. Some of it was covered with my ball sack skin. I pushed the ruler back into my body. Damn it, four and one half inches! Jessica was right. My dick was as hard as I could get it. The ruler wasn't lying. I wasn't average. I was below average. My heart sank. I wonder if Jessica did her hand measurement on Chris on top of his dick or underneath with the full shaft like I did? If it was on the top, which was probably the way she did it, he was probably seven or eight inches compared to my four and a half inches. He was was probably two or three inches longer than me.

Immediately, I imagined Chris entering Jessica from behind. It would have been effortless! I always had to basically lay perpendicular to her to get any of my dick in her if I went at her from behind lying in the bed. It was never comfortable or satisfying because I couldn't get a full stroke. I know that Chris had full access and was probably right up against her body.

She had given him a blow job, too! She had a full view of his cock in her face and she held it and put it in her mouth. When I pictured her sliding her lips up and down the sides of Chris' cock I started to stroke my dick. She probably had room to fully suck it and stroke it at the same time. I imagined myself as Chris, watching this girl on her knees worshiping my huge cock. Suddenly, I came so hard that my cum splattered on the refrigerator door.

Once again, I felt instant shame. Why did I blow my load once again while thinking about my wife with a man with a larger penis? This situation had obviously fucked up my head. I was imaging myself as the other guys and wishing I was them. It didn't make sense. I got to fuck Jessica all the time. We always had a great sex life, I thought.

And, why had I fantasized about my sister-in-law? Sara was like a sister to me. Everyone would be sickened by knowing the things that were going on in my head. I had never thought of her, until today, as a sexual being.

Now that I think back over all the years, she never hid from me because I was like her brother. I've seen her in a towel coming out of a shower. I've seen her in night shorts and a thin revealing camisole. I've seen her in a tiny bikini at the pool and at the beach. Now that I think back on it, she was a woman that any man would want to have. I felt sick because I now had a little thought in the back of my mind that I wanted to see her naked and I wanted to fuck her. I knew it would never happen, but I now had some new material to beat off to and it would make me feel like shit every time I did it.

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The next day, Jessica strolled back into our apartment in the early afternoon. I could tell that she had spent some time in the sun. Her skin had been kissed by the sun and she had a health glow. She didn't seem relaxed though. She had obviously been under a lot of stress while on vacation, and she should have been given what I was going through minute by minute.

"I'm back, honey!" she said excitedly.

"I can see that, I don't know why you are so excited," I retorted.

"It was hard being away from you under these circumstances. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I want to talk to you about a plan I have," she said with a forced smile.

"Ok, I haven't come up with anything. I'm even more upset today that when you left," I said.

"Come sit on the couch next to me and I'll tell you what I thought of," she directed.

We both sat on the couch and I sat as far from her as I could. She slid a bit closer to me but didn't make contact.

"I would like a welcome home kiss," she said.

"I don't feel like it. What is your plan?" I asked.

She straightened up and cleared her throat as though she had rehearsed what she was about to say.

"I want us to get marriage counseling," she said. "I think we need to talk through this with someone that can mediate the conversation and provide exercises and perspective."

"No," I pushed back. "You are the problem here, not me. You are the one that did all this shit behind my back."

"I know, but we both need to heal from this. You need to be involved in this process," she said.

"No. I don't mind if you get counseling, but I don't want to be a part of it. I can't right now," I said.

"Ok, but I hope you will eventually do this. I think it is the only way to heal," she said. "I made us an appointment for tomorrow, but I will change it to be just for me. Maybe after I go I can tell you what we talked about and you will see that it is helpful."

"I think you need help. That is for sure. I think it is a good step for you. Also, you need to talk to the counselor about why you do stupid shit mostly when you drink. I think you have a problem," I said.

"Thanks for listening to my suggestion. I hope you see that I'm trying to get help for me and for us. I'm so tired and dirty from traveling, I just want to get in the tub and scrub off this travel grime. Do you mind if I get a bath?" she asked.

"No, I'm going to take a nap," I said, suddenly tired from all the emotions and depression.

Jessica went into the bathroom and I made my way to the bed for a nap. I laid down on the bed and fell asleep fairly quickly. Who knows how long later, I heard a drawer close in the room and it woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes and found my naked wife searching through drawers in our room for something. I pretended to be asleep so I could watch her. She bent over to open her bottom drawer where she kept her underwear and I saw her pussy lips peek out from between her legs in the back. Her ass was tanned and I saw no tan lines anywhere. Was she laying out nude in California? I continued to watch her without her knowing I was awake. She slid on a pair of hip hugger panties and then started looking for a bra. Her tits were just as tanned as her ass and her nipples were a bit darker than their usual bubble gum pink. Again, I didn't see any tan lines. She slipped on a sports bra and pulled it down over her tits. She looked up and saw me staring at her.

"Did you like that show?" she asked.

"What I didn't like was that you don't have any tan lines anywhere on your body!" I exclaimed.

"You don't get tan lines if you lay out in the nude," she said.

"And where did you do that?" I asked.

"Well, there is a nude beach near San Diego that we went to. And before you say anything, I didn't see one guy there. I only saw women," she said.

"Really? And who went with you to this nude beach where no guys were?" I asked.

"Just me and Sara," she answered. "Sara goes the a lot so she knew that there were usually never guys there."

"So you and Sara went to a beach, took off all your clothes, and walked around buck ass naked?" I asked.

"Well, we didn't really walk around. We just laid on the beach on our beach towels," she said.

"Weren't you afraid you were going to get seen?" I asked. I was upset that she went, but I was also curious about what a nude beach was like.

"I wasn't. I was there with Sara and she looks twenty times better than me naked, so I knew everyone would be looking at her instead of me," she said.

"That's not likely. You have the body of a Greek goddess. You're breasts are the best I've ever seen and you ass is perfect," I said. I couldn't believe I was telling her these things. I felt a surge in my loins.

"Well, you haven't seen Sara naked. She is so tall and she has very, long legs. I don't want to get too graphic about my sister, but she looks like a super model. Her ass is kind of like mine but only bigger and her breasts are like wine glass sized. She just has perfect proportions. Plus, everyone would immediately look between her legs because...she shaves everything down there," she whispered.

"Really," I said raising my eyebrows.

"Shut up, you perv. She's like your little sister," Jessica shot back quickly.

"I know, I know, but it isn't every day you hear your wife describe her naked sister to you," I said.

"Well, she would die if she knew I told you any of this", she said.

"How do you know that there were no guys there looking at you girls?" I asked.

"I didn't see any of them. Sara and I took turns on our back and front while we sun bathed, so one of us was always looking out for guys walking by. Neither of us saw anyone," she said. "If we had seen someone, we had towels ready to cover up really quickly."

"Did you get in the water?" I asked.

"Hell, no! It is way too cold in the Pacific. My nipples would have turned into ice-picks!" she exclaimed.

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The next day Jessica left in the morning for her counseling appointment when I was leaving for work. I was eager to get home and see what had happened at the counseling session. When I got home, she was on the couch with a pencil and a piece of paper.

"I'm home," I said.

"Welcome home, honey. I'm just working on my counseling homework," she said. "Come sit down and rest."

I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch next to her.

"How did the counseling go? What did you talk about?" I asked.

"Well, there was a lot of getting to know each other at first. Then she asked me openly why I was there," she said.

"The counselor is a she, huh? And what did you say?", I asked.

"I told her that I had cheated on my boyfriend several years before we got married and that it was with his best friend and I made out with one of his roommates, too," she said. "I told her that I never confessed before we were married and that I had confessed recently because I wanted a true relationship with my husband that didn't have secrets."

"Did you tell the counselor that you were eaten up with guilt and that was the primary reason you told me?" I asked with a sneer.

"I did tell her that I had extreme guilt and that I couldn't sleep and was always paranoid that you would find out somehow," she agreed. "I basically told her the entire story."

"What did she say?" I asked.

"She didn't really tell me anything. She just told me to make a list of the reasons why I think I cheated," she said.

"What have you come up with?" I asked as I looked over at the paper.

"I'm not supposed to tell you. I have to give it to her next week and we will go forward from there." she said. "She did give me another assignment that I think you will like."

"I doubt that," I said.

"Well, we are supposed to sit on the ground facing each other with our hands on each other's hips. We are supposed to look into each other's eyes and tell what we mean to each other, and I'm supposed to tell you I'm sorry," she said.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound fun," I quickly shot back.

"Well, she said you would said that, and I'm supposed to tell you that we can do it in the nude," she said sheepishly.

"Ok, now my listening," I said. "Isn't this sexual stuff too soon? Shouldn't we work through stuff before we pull intimacy into this?"

"No, she said that we need to hold on to our intimacy and that we can become much closer during these times of extreme vulnerability. We can truly know each other by peeling back all the layers of armor we keep up to guard ourselves," Jessica said.

I knew I wanted to see Jessica naked. I was willing to do it if got to see those tits and that sweet pussy.

"Ok, I'll do it, but only if we are naked," I said.

"Ok, I'll meet you on the living room floor in two minutes...naked," she said with a grin.

As I undressed, I started to feel uncomfortable and self conscious. This was going to be a position of vulnerability. Our bodies would be on full display for each other. When she walked in the room, I forgot about vulnerability. Her tanned and toned body was immediately my only focus.

"How do we do this?" I asked.

"Well, I'll sit on the ground and then you will sit in front of me and slide in close but not touching." she instructed.

I watched as she sat down on the floor in front of the TV. It was off, of course. She sat up straight and spread her legs on the floor in a V shape.

"Ok, come sit in front of me and put your legs over mine and slide in close," she directed.

I sat down and pushed close to her. My legs overlapping her legs. Mine were slightly bent to arch them over her legs. I slide close but didn't touch her.

"Ok, I'm going to put my hands on your waist and then you put your hands on my waist," she said.

As soon as my hands touch her body, I felt a tingle run through my body. It was like we were connected.

"Ok, I we need to look into each other's eyes and gaze into our souls to connect," she said.

I didn't care what she said. I was going to take a good look at her body. Her tits were hanging heavy just a a centimeter from my chest. I leaned back and took a look at the gap between her legs. She was trimmed up nicely as usual and I noticed a little tiny bit of inner labia lip poking out of her pussy.

I felt another tingle in my body. I thought that my dick was going to get hard, but it didn't. I looked down and remembered the measurements I made from a few days before. This position was not flattering in the least. The combination of my insecurity, the position I was in, and the fact that I hadn't shaved anything on my body in weeks made my dick look like it was hiding in a big thick bush. I could only see my dick head barely peeking out through the thick hair around my dick. I hoped she wasn't looking, but when I looked up, I saw that she was. She didn't say anything and just looked directly into my eyes like she had instructed me to do.

"Ok, we now need to share our inner most thoughts," she said.

"Ok. I don't know if our relationship can recover from what you have done," I said trying to hurt her. Tears welled up in her eyes.

She sniffed, "I don't know if I can ever forgive you for making me feel unwanted and insecure while we were dating."

"I don't know if I can ever trust you again in the future," I said.

"I wish you had been more fun in college. You never wanted to take me out or do fun things with me," she said.

I looked down at her breasts, heaving with tension between us. She was absolutely, physically perfect. I couldn't help but acknowledge that.

"The perfection of your body has kept me with you all these years. Some times, I didn't want to be with you, but I didn't want anyone else to have you," I said.

She started to cry.

I continued, "You're so fucking hot that I would basically do anything to make sure I have access to your body. I don't really care anything else about you."

I didn't completely believe what I had just said, but I was angry and that was how I felt at that moment.

"Well, I have always loved you and I don't care about your body. I love you for who you are as a person. I love your kind heart and loyalty. Clearly, we have different agendas with each other," she pushed back.

"That sounds like Mars vs Venus to me," I quipped.

She removed her eye contact from me and slid away.

"I think that is enough for today. The counselor said to take it easy. That being honest will be tough and could feel like a setback in the beginning. I have another session with her on Wednesday. I'll tell her what we did and get some advice on how to continue," she said.

She got up and walked out of the room. I watched as her perfect ass swished from side to side as she walked around the corner and into our bedroom. I looked back down at my dick and realized that she had just told me that she doesn't care about the size of my dick. That basically stung more than anything once I realized the implications. Was she saying that she would put up with it, or that she loved it because it was part of me?

To be continued...