All Comments on 'Witch Board Breeding'

Holy fucking Goddess WOW! Thank you so much!

"Then she felt the warmth building in her ghostly balls". Okay, that's enough internet for today.

To short. lol.

Hopefully more to come. So much could be down with that ghostly cock.

Excellent tho.

Too sloppy for a contest entry. There are a lot of pluralized words with apostrophes turning them into possessive nouns, incomplete sentences, misspellings, missing words, and other punctuation gone wild, all to the point of distraction.

It was confusing saying their missing friend's boyfriend probably goes as Jason every year, referring to the horror character, and then immediately introducing the final character named Jason. Either the horror reference should have been changed (Freddy Krueger, for example) or the friend's name should have been different.

It's a creative premise bogged down by too many errors that could have easily been caught with proofing and editing. There was a lot going on for a story of this length, and it felt rushed. It could easily have been at least another half to one page longer to fully flesh out the experience and not have such an abrupt ending.

It's an entertaining story, a solid effort, but not contest quality I'm afraid.

I forgot to bring up another point. I don't see where the breeding part comes into play despite it being in the title. Jason wanted a blow job, Tara wanted to finish school and start a family, and Annie wanted to kiss her crush. Jason got the blow job, but instead of just kissing her crush Annie grew a ghost penis and fucked Tara. Was she meant to impregnate Tara with the ghost penis? The breeding aspect wasn't brought up during the sex. We weren't given details about the ghost cum (writing this sentence is so weird), so we have no idea if it was somehow real or just perceived. Regardless, PIV sex wasn't part of Annie's deepest desire, so this didn't occur to me until I backpaged to return to the Halloween contest story list and took notice of the title again.

Is it a copy-paste error? The story ends too abruptly. I think there’s meant to be a third page.

This could have been good. But between the typo/grammar issues and the abrupt ending, th 3 stars I gave is generous and is for the potential.

Anon seems almost irrationally angry about the perceived issues with this story, but if I may:

The grammar problems insomuch as they exist are absolutely not to a degree where they detract from the story. Literotica submissions generally don’t have editors, so a grammar issue or two are to be expected, and nobody should feel bad about that.

The other issues raised by our professional erotica critic are largely subjective, but to address a few:

The ending is a perfect button. The story doesn’t need to drag on, and Tara and Annie still kissing after the ghostly spell has ended gives us the closure we need about their feelings for each other. It’s not abrupt, and this sort of ending is par for the course for a well crafted vignette.

Also, regarding the specifics of the contract with the ghost, the desires of the characters, and so on: I don’t particularly think we need such a clear rundown on the magic system of this story, like The Critic seems to be asking for. Spirits are capricious. Perhaps it knows their unspoken desires as well. It doesn’t particularly matter imo.

Finally, just to add,

I really appreciate that the non-con in this story is both warned for at the beginning and avoids being gratuitous. Establishing early on that both Tara and Annie do want each other, just not this way, makes it much easier to read and enjoy as someone who isn’t particularly into the nonconsent/reluctance genre.

Great work, 5 stars, etc.

Anon is confusing honest, constructive, and sometimes negative feedback with anger and irrationality. Negative feedback does not equate to negative intent or emotion, nor is it an indicator of whether a person is rational or not. Let's treat authors and their stories with some respect and not assume they need to be saved or defended. They can and should speak for themselves. Readers should stick to story feedback, not feedback on feedback.

Very reluctantly, since it's been brought up...

There are clearly more than one of two issues with grammar. It's dishonest and bizarre to claim otherwise in the face of the amount of evidence.

My criticism wasn't about a lack of understanding the magic system. It's my error if that's unclear. To make it clear, generally, in stories with breeding in the title and tags about breeding and impregnation, the story specifically talks about breeding and impregnation leading up to and during the sex act to build the tension and excitement. It's what we get off on. Despite the title and tags, this story doesn't do that. My point is these don't seem to be themes of the story at all making the title and tags misleading, in my opinion.

For whoever needs the reminder, opinions are often a part of feedback.

Some of us believe special contest submissions should be held to a slightly higher standard than the normal standard of none. We don't need a consensus on that. It's a personal choice. If a reader specifically comments on it, it's in effort to be clear with the author the full extent of what they are being rated on out of respect for the author.

Choosing to focus on criticizing feedback instead of the story is equivalent to telling someone their opinion is wrong. I don't know how anyone can do that with a straight face. These are fictional stories. Your opinion is no more valid than mine and vice versa. Resorting to name calling is juvenile. It's disappointing that it needs to be called out in this space.

I liked it but I didn't understand why it ended abruptly

Liked this story a lot. Great, characters, dialogue and suspense. A fun read.

Truly enjoyed this, I hope there will be some sort of follow up to it.