Women Who Talk Pt. 04

She was doing the wrong thing by him, she mused as she put her hands on his shoulders, there were women who would walk right over her to get to him. Robyn looked down as he reached up to put a hand on top of hers, even Erin would risk losing a friend she suspected. She slipped her hands down his chest, feeling his nipples beneath the shirt with her thumbs. He leaned back into her as she rubbed his nipples slowly and then she slid her hands down to his flat belly and Jeff put his hands on top of her hands. This forced her forward and she pressed her breasts against his neck and kept on rubbing his belly.

When he started turning she straightened up and as his left foot hit the floor he grabbed her left leg and guided her around. Robyn sat astride his legs and put her hands on top of the couch and looked down at him. Jeff definitely seemed a little anxious as he put his hands on her waist but when she leaned over to kiss him on the lips his grip tightened and he slid his hands around to her buttocks. Robyn broke free and spread her legs wider and rose slightly. Neither of them spoke as they stared into each other's eyes and then his eyes fell to her breasts and then her crotch and he tightened his grip on her buttocks. Robyn leaned over to kiss him on the mouth again and this time she drew her hands down to his chest and rubbed his nipples.

Jeff exhaled after she pulled back. She slid her hands down his front and stared into his eyes he let go of her buttocks and brought his hands around to her legs. Robyn bit her lip and looked down at herself, conscious that his eyes were fixated on her breasts. She felt slightly heady and as she rose she undid the top button of her cardigan. Jeff's eyes narrowed slightly and Robyn's lips twitched in a slight smile as she undid the next button. He shifted ever so slightly and she noticed that he was trying to hide his erection as she undid another button and then the final two to part the cardigan. Jeff swallowed and he blushed as she looked down at his crotch and it was only then that he finally dropped his hands to his cock to rearrange it.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "jeans are too tight."

Robyn hesitated for a few seconds and then grabbing his hands she leaned over to kiss him on the mouth, forcing his mouth open. His grip tightened and she shifted a little closer, pinning him to the back of the couch. She felt aroused, anxious and guilty all at once and when she let go of his hands and broke free from his mouth she sensed that the time had come to ask the question now that she had unbuttoned her cardigan. She could see the firm bulge between his legs and drew her fingers down his belly to his waistband and then behind it. His eyes flickered down but then he looked up again and stared into her eyes.

"Do you want to?"

"Um," he swallowed and his hands slid up to her breasts but this time they moved over them and she looked down in mild amusement, "I'm not that experienced."

"Neither am I," she leaned against his hands, "but do you want to?"

Jeff opened his mouth to reply but then his phone rang and they both froze.

"I'll get it," she spoke quietly and leaned over to grabbed his phone.

"It's my sister," he stared at the screen a moment later and then touched the answer button as Robyn slid back slightly.

"Joanne, what's up?"

Robyn looked down at herself as Jeff listened to Joanne and couldn't help but wonder if there really was a God up there moving pieces around to keep her from losing her virginity. She glanced over at Jeff as he went on.

"Yeah, it's a flat battery. Have you got jumper leads? Okay, fine... sure... I can come around and jump start the car or even bring the charger around and leave it on charge overnight," he looked at his watch, "not a problem... it's cool... we were just watching a movie but it's finished now, okay, see you soon," he ended the call and put the phone down.

"Flat battery," he stated the obvious.

"Yeah, I kind of guessed that," she smirked.

"I'm sorry, she needs her car for work and I'm the only one with a battery charger."

"It's cool, I understand, family comes first," Robyn slid off him and sat down on the couch.

Jeff said nothing to that as he stared at his phone. Robyn shifted closer.

"We need to talk soon though," she put her hand on his leg.

"Talk? About?"

"You know," she squeezed his leg.

"Sex," he looked down at himself, "maybe it's a good thing she rang right now, I don't even have any condoms."

Robyn blushed as she looked at her handbag. She could almost see the condoms hidden in an inner pockets, she'd bought them on a whim a few months ago just in case. She was just about to tell him when he spoke again.

"But before we go further we should talk, it's not just sex, we need to talk about other things."

"You're right," she looked down at the carpet, "we do need to talk, I've been struggling with things lately, my faith for a start and other personal stuff."

"You and me both," he replied, "I've been trying to find the right moment to say something."

"There's never a right time, Jeff," she patted his leg, "it's always the wrong time."

"When?"

"After church," she decided, "it should give us both enough time to organise our thoughts."

It was a strange phrase for Robyn but it certainly summed up her own inner turmoil. As she got into bed that night she thought about what had happened. Without so much as a modicum of preparation she'd been prepared to give up her virginity, it was a practical demonstration of the lessons she'd learned from her new gay friends. When it happened there would most likely be little planning involved but underlying that however was the aftermath.

If she and Jeff had sex what would that lead to? Did she love this guy enough to want to stay with him? What was it like to have that kind of relationship with anyone? Was it a commitment or was it just like scratching an itch? Raelene certainly saw nothing wrong with having multiple partners. Erin was the same. She could see the logic now in having a one night stand as opposed to sex with a boyfriend with the inevitability of commitment. Eventually sleep claimed her but it was a troubled sleep where she had sex with Alana whilst Penny and Jeff watched.

She awoke the next morning with the sense that she'd crossed a bridge but now she was enveloped in a fog of confusion. She'd proved that she could take the next step but with whom? That night after work she found herself looking at Alana through different eyes when she stepped into the shop to meet Erin. The older woman was wearing a white blouse, cut in a similar fashion to the shirt Jeff had worn the previous night, it was tucked into light tan trousers and she experienced a flashback to the night before as Alana turned and smiled at her.

It made her feel both aroused and nervous, the latter because she had come out as curious a couple of days ago. What was she supposed to make of a smile? Was Alana flirting or was she jumping to conclusions? The answer surprised her some fifteen minutes later as Alana carried the first tray of jewellery through to the safe in the back room. She returned with the latest edition of Cleo and Robyn's eyes widened as she saw one of the headlines.

Gay Sex: Thinking Outside The Box. Can You Sleep With Your Best Friend?

Alana smiled crookedly as she opened the magazine and flipped through to the fashion pages, she pointed to a picture of Meg Ryan as she appeared in When Harry Met Sally. She'd seen the movie a couple of times and could almost hear the fake orgasm in her head.

"Erin says you're learning dressmaking," their eyes met briefly, "could you make that?" she pointed to the blouse.

"For you? Um, I'd need help for that one," she frowned, "but Cindy could do it, she's the woman who's teaching me."

"How much would she charge?"

"I'll phone her," she took the phone out of her handbag.

Alana nodded as she stepped back and went back to carrying the jewellery through to the safe and by the time she came back Robyn had a price for her.

"Eighty bucks," she lowered the phone slightly.

"Uh huh," her eyes narrowed.

"It's seventy if she supplies the material," Cindy spoke in her ear.

Robyn relayed the message and Alana shrugged.

"Eighty is fine, what day suits her?"

"What day suits you?" Robyn asked her.

"Any day suits me, just give me a day and a time."

"What day suits you?" Robyn asked Alana, "she only lives in Kilsyth, about fifteen minutes from my place."

"What about Friday after work?" Alana glanced briefly at Erin, "I could run Erin back home after work and meet you there and we could go together."

"No worries, Friday after work," she passed on the message to Cindy.

"Friday it is then," she replied, "I'll find some pictures of Meg Ryan in the meantime, the placket had some embroidery on it from memory. Are you still coming around tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll have a quick bite to eat first."

"Come over for dinner instead, I'll make extra casserole."

She agreed to that and then farewelled her as Alana grabbed some watches. So was that the reason for the smile? Or was Alana making her own approach?

***

"It's easy to read too much into it," Cindy commented some two hours later as they made their way through to the sewing room, "but I've been there before. It can be confusing when you first admit that you like women because then you have to pay more attention to what they say and do, whereas before you let a lot of signs go through to the keeper."

"She is sympathetic to gay women," Robyn frowned, "but I'm attracted to her though."

"Why?" Cindy asked her and when Robyn looked at her she smiled, "it's important to quantify what it is about her that turns you on. Is the way she dresses, her mannerisms? Her attitude? Or all of the above?"

Robyn let it out in fits and starts as she helped Cindy assemble a newly-cut blouse. She loved her quiet nature and politeness, she thought Alana was attractive as well but when it came down to the matter of sex she was understandably undecided.

"I mean, what if we did it and it wasn't her thing?"

"You're looking at it the wrong way," she examined the polyester material on the table, "sex on tv and sex in real life are different. Don't go thinking that a choir of angels are going to sing while you're making ridiculous faces. Sex is just one small part of a relationship, admittedly if that small part isn't working for either one of you then it throws everything else out of whack, but the amount of time we spend having sex pales into insignificance in the long run. Focus on the things you have in common and stop thinking about sexual intercourse."

"Me and Jeff could've done it the other night," she admitted.

"And what stopped you?"

"His sister, she rang because her battery was flat, but we've both recognised that things have come to a head. We have to either take it further or end it," she smoothed out the material.

"And here was me thinking we could just stay friends."

"It's nice when it happens," she agreed, "but ultimately you're both right. You can't go on like this without stagnating," she glanced at her, "so, what are your thoughts?"

"There's a part of me that wants to go further with him, but the other part of me knows that if we do go down that path then I'll wind up making a wedding dress."

"I'd give you a discount," she grinned.

"Gee, thanks," she pulled a wry grin, "but I can understand the logic of a one night stand."

"There is that," she replied, "what the hell, guys have been having one night stands since the dawn of time but if we women do it we're suddenly sluts. The mistake some women make is thinking that just having sex is a commitment, it's not by any stretch of the imagination, it's a start but the way we start isn't the way we continue or even end it."

Cindy's final diagnosis that night however surprised her.

"She might very well be that way inclined so keep an open mind and I'm not just talking about Alana, keep an open mind on guys too. Being bisexual isn't a cop out at all, it's a personal thing, some can have sex with men and women, others prefer one or the other. Dipping your toes isn't a black and white thing either, some women try it on for size and decide they don't want to go down that route in the future, she could be in that category."

"She does turn me on but I don't know if that's because I really like her or if it's just down to the fact I've finally come out to myself."

"Don't over think it," Cindy cautioned her, "take the time to get to know women, you don't have to sleep with every woman you go out with by the way. Take the issue of sex out of the equation and just go out for lunch or dinner, or a movie, you're on the right track though."

There were no hints from Alana the next day when she dropped into the shop at lunchtime to give her the money for the brooch. It was Erin's day off and Alana looked a little irritated but that had more to do with a rather pissed off customer than anything else. The middle-aged woman was angry that she couldn't get a full refund on a pair of earrings.

"We have to pay to have them sterilised," Alana explained, "it's a health issue."

"What do you mean sterilised? I don't have Aids."

"No one's saying you've got anything," Alana's eyes narrowed, "it's a health and safety issue, I can give you a partial refund but they have to be sent away to be cleaned. We can't even touch them."

"Oh, this is just stupid," she snapped, "I've been a customer here for years. I'm going to report this to your management."

"Of course you can, madam, but they'll just tell you the same thing as I've just told you."

"Then I'll phone Derryn Hinch."

"You can do that as well," she eyed Robyn, "but phoning a radio station won't change company policy, now do you want to return these earrings or not?"

The woman turned and stared at Robyn but she wasn't at all fazed by her withering glare and she whirled about and sighed.

"Fine, fine, give me the bloody refund, whatever it is but I'm never coming back to this store as long as I live, you understand?"

"Of course, madam, there are plenty of other jewellery stores in the area," she turned to pick up a small cardboard box.

"What's your name?" the woman spoke again.

"Alana," she put on a pair of gloves.

"I'm going to put in a complaint about you to your boss, what do you say to that?"

Alana's smile remained fixed as she picked up the earrings and put them into the box.

"It's your right of course, madam."

"My husband is a lawyer, do you realise the trouble I can cause you?"

Alana's smile vanished as she spread her hands wide along the counter.

"Mrs Johnson, this is company policy and my boss will back me up one hundred percent, no matter how many lawyers are involved. We don't give a full refund on earrings and if you'd read the sign behind me you would have known that," she stepped back and moved around to the till.

The woman turned to follow her and finally looked straight at Robyn.

"Can you believe this?"

"Actually, I can believe it," Robyn smiled back, "it's not just Aids, there's hepatitis and other nasty blood-borne diseases and I can read that sign too. She's just doing her job and protecting her staff at the same time."

The woman opened her mouth to protest and then suddenly whirled about to face Alana who had just taken some cash out.

"There's your refund, Mrs Johnson, have a nice day."

"You'll hear from my lawyer," she snatched the cash out of her hand and stuffed it into her purse, "you'll regret this young lady."

Alana's smile remained fixed until the woman had left the shop and then she exhaled.

"Fucking bitch."

"She was," she took out her purse, "I've got that money for you."

"Okay, sure," she looked at the purse, "sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"I'd have called her a fucking cunt," Robyn replied.

Alana's mouth twitched and then she chuckled.

"I haven't used that word since I discovered my ex husband screwing a colleague."

"Do you fancy going out for lunch today?"

"I can't," she took the money from her, "Emily is on her lunch break but thanks for the offer," she looked past her, "maybe tomorrow though."

"No worries, what time do you have lunch normally?"

"One o'clock."

"Okay, I'll see you then," she put the purse back into her handbag, "have a good day," she stepped back and Alana nodded.

"Thanks," she spoke again.

"Thanks for what?"

"For sticking up for me, you didn't have to get involved."

"You're a mate," she shrugged, I look after my mates," she flicked at her hair and smiled, "don't let the bastards grind you down."

Alana's smile followed her out of the shop and when she chanced a glance over her shoulder she was still smiling and then she looked away as if embarrassed at being caught out.

***

"I almost bought her a cup of coffee," she told Penny that night as the older woman popped a plate of food into the microwave.

"What stopped you?" Penny shut the door.

"It was past one o'clock but I thought it a little too bold though."

"True enough, it sounds like something Helen would do."

Robyn chuckled at that as Penny turned the timer on the microwave.

"I heard about the sewing machine episode from Cindy."

"I thought you might," she frowned, "she's been coming onto me a bit now that she's broken up with Roxy."

"Now that's news to me, although I don't exactly pay much attention to her love life, she could turn her love life into a soap opera and retire on the proceeds," she turned around.

"So, what do you think of Helen?" Penny picked up her glass of wine.

"She's cute, in a kind of butch way," she stared at her plate, "put it this way, if I was drunk I might let her have her wicked way with me. This looks delicious by the way, what is it?"

"Fried lamb strips with roasted vegetables, steamed rice and mint sauce. I made it three days ago and had some then, this is the last of it."

"But she's the last person on my mind right now," she frowned, "I'm more concerned about Jeff and my decision, we nearly did it on Tuesday night."

"Okay?" Penny smiled crookedly, "do you want to tell me about it?"

For the second time in as many days she opened up about that Tuesday night at Jeff's place and to her surprise, Penny didn't blink or show any signs that she was disappointed. Instead she asked if she'd had condoms in her handbag.

"I did but he didn't and he still doesn't know I've got them. Jeff doesn't even know I'm on the pill either," she looked at the microwave as it pinged.

"Hmm," Penny turned around and opened the door, "that's interesting. Why haven't you told him?"

"That's what confuses me," she replied, "I should've told him but I've kept quiet because I didn't want to give him ideas. I eventually realised he wasn't that kind of guy but other things get in the way and it's not like we get into those situations often. I've always made sure we can be disturbed easily if we're kissing and cuddling, maybe it's to do with talking about sex?"

"Entirely possible," she turned the dial again and pressed the button, "the most erogenous part of your body is your brain," she turned back to the island bench.

"Most people think of breasts or genitals, or some other part of your anatomy but every sensual desire has to start with your brain. You look at someone and think, yeah, she's cute and then you start to imagine being with her and before you know it you're experiencing arousal. It may not even come to anything but it all starts with the brain. We've been talking about sex, and you're thinking about sex as a result so it stands to reason you feel desires."

"So, what am I? Am I gay, straight or bisexual?"

"I honestly don't know," she shrugged.

"I thought gay people could sense other gay people?"