All Comments on 'Work Out Come Back'

fine writing which is also highly erotic. An unusual combination.

Rachel always sounds like she's high af

I appreciate the use of metaphor, but if nearly every line is metaphor it becomes grating and the quality suffers.

Some of these circumscriptions are less impactful and beautiful than more direct expressions would have easily been. And the narrative voice with which the character speaks of them becomes so airy and abstract you lose the weight of her feeling actually present in the scene.

It's like she's speaking 'in the third person in the first person'. Like she's merely remembering or recounting the act to someone else instead of actually being there then.

This seems interesting as a writing excercise but in my opinion has harmed the porn.