All Comments on 'X-Rated'

Naw, the ONE woman I would refuse to let my girlfriend fuck would be the ex whore, and if she couldnt abide by that she would be gone as well

I'd have also point blank refused to talk to the cheating bitch let alone touch her again

I'd cut that traitorous cunt of a daughter out of my life entirely as well

Wow.

I think I might have actually lost some IQ points reading that mindless drivel.

1*

Your stories are frequently fucked up but never boring....till now.

Wow, disappointment here. Usually like your stuff but this was not my cup of tea. Couldn't appreciate the writing because of the content of the story. Sorry.

Started out well then went to Hell. Paul was a idiot and a pussy. Thanks

1 star

This was crap. You divorce the whore and cut the daughter out of your life. This story is like the author a waste of time.

I enjoyed until you got to the part of Deanna and Christine having sex by themselves, and then a threesome with Paul. Deanna's and Paul's marriage did not end well - she willingly cheated, and went to California to be a porn actress without any consideration of her husband, and her daughter helped her do it. If I was Paul, I wouldn't have let her into the townhouse (yeah, it's Christina's so I would have gone elsewhere). The only thing I'd want to do is get the divorce done and over with, and have nothing to do with Deanna again. I'd probably cut all ties to what used to be my daughter also. There is no reason for either of them to be in my life.

hmm didnt like it but who cares right. characters were 2d and very shallow. the MC went from worried about STDs to not caring in page 3 and 4. i mean the wife caught an std from that mail employee and then passed it to christine and paul

OH MY GOD.... AUTHOR.... are you fucking insane or drunk? This has to be the stupidest dumbest most

Twisted irrational fact up twisted story I have EVER read.

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1st what happened to the daughter? She hates her father so much that hes willing to shatter him by sending videos of his wife fucking other men.

WHY???

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Even worse is that you as the author completely lost that entire part of the story. What the daughter did here is so vile so hateful so EXTREME.... That for you to completely ignore that part of the story for the next 3 pages and that makes no sense at all..

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And there is no confrontation of any kind between the vile twisted cunt whore wife and the husband.

Outside of the Husband saying I don't want you to do this on page one he never gets angry. And when he finally sees the vile contemptible cunt 6 Months later it's like nothing ever happened.

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Instead you have the wife and his girlfriend now engaged and lesbian sex...? And the husband Has absolutely no motional or psychological issues which what the wife is doing or her return or the fact that she wants to be involved in a 3 some.

nope

esp the daughter is unbearable

If it had been me, as soon as the girlfriend said my wife was there I would have disappeared again.

I don't think you should have posted this here on LW. Group Sex maybe. And be mindful of your story tags.

Trash

A new story from BigGuy33 is always a welcome event. 5* story, of course.

By the way, how's Henry Weston doing, these days? I miss that dude and his multiple adventures!

Disappointing.

I had really hoped for something more….original. But it was essentially the same:

Middle aged wife cheats. Middle aged husband finds out and disappears. Middle aged wife tracks him down only to find him with a younger, hotter and wealthier woman who loves him and supports him and is his actual soul mate.

Change my mind.

Its a well written story but I can't imagine being with or being married to a fully fledged porn star. And if i was the husband in the story i would certainly not be in contact with a porn star daughter and wife.

Why don't they rename this section cheating wives and divorce... same boring misogynistic crap

Not quite as bad as that Steve224 story , but pretty damned close !

So , Wifey has the "Mid Life Crisis" , but does it on film for all to see , on top of that his daughter just basically stomps on his heart and then twists it like she was killing a insect !

But after all that , he's just so nice and amenable to her and her "feelings" !

I'm not sure where you live , but I've never been anywhere where people actually act that way .

Real people have emotions ( those were in short supply here ) , act out , get loud when their daughter sends them clips of their wives of many years committing adultery while on vacation !

Oh , and the Daughter who sets this whole thing in motion , is just left out there !?!

Christina seems like a device to say , oh well , even Steven , but no hot professor with big Tits is going to smooth over the death of a long term marriage in just a few months !

BG33 , I've really enjoyed some of your works , but others simply exasperate me ! Guess what ledger this one belongs in .

Boring. It started good and then went no where. There are a lot of wife does porn stories but this is about the worst one. Sorry, but I think it was poorly thought out and poorly written. Not your normal decent stuff.

The story was well-written, with some unique twists. However, the plot was details are unrealistic. For example, the husband could not rent out the house without wife's consent; you don't find Christinas in the real world; really "consultant"; no ethical lawyer would represent both spouses in a divorce.

I thought this had great potential but for me, it didn't go as well as I would have liked.

I try and get into the fantasy so I can usually let things go but I really have a hard time with a mother getting aroused watching her daughter star in porn. I could let it slip that the wife would be seduced into being filmed but I couldn't get past her telling her husband how sexy and beautiful their daughter looked filming porn.

Then there was the usual husband moving out. Why? He goes to the spare bedroom when she will be the one leaving. Have her crap stay in the room but tell her she is in the other bed. Then he does all the financial stuff but does not file for divorce. Why? He knew they were done. She cheated he would not let it go and she said for six months she would film porn and do whomever and how many ever she wanted. Just divorce. Have her served during a porn shoot.

Then the girlfriend has sex with the ex. Come on. I wouldn't want the ex any where near me let alone with my new girlfriend. Then the Ex joins the couple in bed. So he is now over the fact that his ex has had sex with guys in ways that he cannot compete? His ego is no longer an issue? He even notices how her sex acts have improved from being trained by professionals. And lets not forget that the girlfriend slid on a condom before he had sex with the ex as she was "smart". But not smart enough for her to perform oral sex on the ex wife! Its not just men that can catch an STD from a whore. Wait until the herpes starts to blister on her lips.

A good premise and I am glad you explained at the end that this was a BTB but you changed your mind. It did explain a lot.

I've enjoyed a lot your stories, but this one? Don' t go through the trouble to write sequels on my account.

I had to give it a 1 because f such a giant glaring plot hole. It was well written...even funny at parts. But nothing was done with the trecherous daughter.

The sentence about the porn industry having stringent standards about STD’s is a ludicrous statement considering the recent reports concerning three porn stars diagnosed with HIV.

On what planet would a husband wait so long before divorcing the slut, as soon as she arrived in CA papers should have been waiting. The daughter needs a kick up the ass too for encouraging the skank.

The usual idiom is ‘Like mother like daughter’ on this occasion it should be ‘Like daughter like mother’.

Not your best work.

The first half of the story was OK. The middle where Deanna was searching and found him was OK. Then ending was sort of depressing. The could have been a 4-5*. What was missing - why did the daughter not like the dad?? Why didn't the father disown the daughter - she essentially lit the fuse that destroyed the marriage. 1* Too much stuff missing from an pretty plain story

Oh, if only there were minus stars to give. Any wife who doen't have her name on the ownership of the house along with her husband's name is an idiot. If she was listed as a co-owner, what he did with the house while she was gone, without her consent, would result in legal problems both for her husband and the property management company.

What a load of crap from the cheating whore wife to the slut daughter............!

The story line was pretty bad. I'd like to see a version 2 where the daughter is dealt with and Dee finds out she was tricked into prostitution and drugs by her daughter. Paul takes over and commands them both. This plot is terrible..no offense intended. Writing is a lot of time and work. Version 2 please......2 Stars.

This author really hates daughters.

Why is her going BACK such an issue? He should divorce her for what she already did, and she can move out there and do it all she wants!

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"But when the 6 months are up he'll be waiting in that house eager for you to come home. It may be rocky for a while but it'll work out." - She's delusional! She obviously doesn't know her father, because only a cuck would stand for that.

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LOL, how Deanna thinks that Christina's situation is anything like hers proves how brainless she really is,

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"Paul, if it hadn't been this it would have been something else. And the truth is that if something hadn't happened our marriage probably wouldn't have survived in the long run. I was that unsettled." - And what makes her think it's going to survive now?

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If she realized that their marriage is over, why bother with tracking him down? Just go back to California and make more porn?

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"I won't deny that it sounds crazy, but I think I understand the thinking." - I don't. It's delusional thinking, even if she hadn't already cheated.

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If I haven't already made it clear, this story should have ended when she said she was going back to make more porn for six months, AND expected to come back to the marriage. MAYBE the "tryout" could have been gotten over, written off to the excitement of the moment, but ONLY if she stayed. Once she insisted she was going back, the only response is, "Okay, go, but don't bother coming back, just let me know where to send the divorce papers." Whatever her decision is, he disowns their daughter, and the price for any reconciliation is for her to do the same.

BigGuy is one of the best writers in the LW category. This sadly was not one of his best efforts. His daughter joining the porn movie industry would be bad enough but his wife joining her would shatter any man's life. I hope someone runs with this story and makes it the BTB it should be. I am disappointed but BigGuy will remain a favorite.

Sorry, but the second half just does not match with the first half. He might be willing to be kind, almost friendly, with time, but not that friendly. And the daughter really was treacherous. She needed an adjustment.

I have to agree with some of your commenters that I can never picture any daughter doing that to their dad unless he had spend a life time being abusive to her. The daughter would completely know that she would lose her dad over that. You never addressed it as if that wouldn't have been as big a hurt to him as his wife.

This one didnt even start with anything BTB to speak about. She cheated, came back, didnt think anything was wrong and then left again. Meanwhile he rented out his house, found someone new and everyone was best of friends afterwards. Is this for real? She didnt love him, he didnt love her and that was it. Why did he even feel hurt? Its not like he cared about what she did, otherwise he wouldnt have invited his ex into the bedroom together with his girlfriend. And most of all, what the fuck about his daughter? She was a very big part in the destruction of their marriage but was not mentioned again. But its the same as with his wife, there was not much love there.

The whore and her spawn would be dead to me.

Boy did you shit a real stinker with this one.

You also displayed an alarming ignorance of the industry.

Drug abuse and STDs are only part of the cost of doing business and the wife in this story would have to be severely deranged to do what she did.

There is no coming back from it or living it down once you've made a video and her life would have been over even if her husband tried to take her back.

The sex is also mostly not enjoyable or realistic in porn and a very large percentage of porn stars do not have good sex on camera or even know that much about real sex.

The ludicrous three way at the end was as unbelievable and ridiculous as it was telegraphed.

A rare one star for the Big guy. Sorry, everyone needs to take a very stinky shit occasionally but maybe next time, don't do it on one of your stories.

With daughters like that who needs enemies.

The plot was simply STUPID. From almost the beginning you know it's going to end in some absurdly implausible way. For those of you not familiar with how the professional porn production business works (as opposed to the amateur stuff that is all over the web), it takes hours to film what you see in 30 minutes. The "actors" and "actresses" are being given direction all along the way, including while they are "fucking". The men have trouble, obviously, keeping it up for such long periods. In the old days they used "fluffers" to get them up before filming begins. Now they inject their cocks with tri-mix to get them up when they are having trouble. Much of what they do is uncomfortable, and the women really do have to act when a producer has found the one guy in ten or fifteen thousand with a 9" cock suitable to work in front of the camera because it IS painful. Topical anesthetics are not infrequently used. As for being "clean" people in porn do regularly catch venereal diseases. It's just part of the job. Of course, they are caught and treated, but almost all have HPV, which is untreatable, and many have herpes, which is also untreatable. The giant dick guys often do homosexual porn because it pays them far better, but it creates an even greater risk of getting an STI. HIV is now manageable because of new drugs, but before then, women in the business occasionally did get it from the men.

Hardly an author here truly understands the porn industry, female anatomy, male anatomy, or sex. Unfortunately, we will still get story after story in which the MC has a "large cock" that is 2" in circumference, the hot woman has a "pleasure canal" that is 3 cm, 6" cocks are considered average (actually, they are 90th percentile), bigger men, black men, and athletes can be expected to have big cocks (no correlation), giant cocks are easily found, and the number of orgasms a woman has is proportional to the size of the cock fucking her. All of these examples come from LW stories, and they appear time and time again.

Porn, as well as real sex in mainstream movies, is prostitution. The legal lie is that they are getting paid for "acting". Of course, they are getting paid for sex, like any hooker. The only difference is that it is being filmed. The girls on the street ought to argue that they are actually acting in live theater and should receive the same treatment has the porn and Hollywood sluts.

Martian Slut Ray strikes again. I could get into these stories, but every time the wife is so surprised that the husband doesn’t happily go along with her infidelity, ruins it for me.

Not my cup of tea but certainly well written.

Too weird at the end. No matter how 'liberal' Paul was. He left town shortly after she went to California but was okay sharing and even screwing Deanna later. Nothing was said about the porn star daughter. Sorry too screwed up for me to enjoy the story.

Good, not great. Kind of boring, actually. Devoid of emotion, generally. I gave it a 3.

just another 1 star WIMP story...

Betrayal is betrayal. Both the wife and daughter do not deserve to have him in their lives. He should nt have had the three way. It is condonation of her actions. Cut her loose, get the divorce and start fresh. Send the daughter a message to never contact him again. She wanted to be in that lifestyle be she didn't have to drag the mother down with her. If Dee was so bored maybe she should have gone back to school and eventually get a real job. She was bored because of her own decisions.

Very different story, that requires you suspend disbelief. It held my interest, as it departs from all the typical LW story lines. However, hard to like any of the characters. Husband should have divorced her from the get go. but that would have made a predictable story.

I am sorry but this is really a disgusting story. All his choices of women are sluts. And I don't consider him a lucky man.

A heck of a family with no morals whatsoever.

Not a typical story. It was OK but predictable until the wife & professor went lesbian with the husband in the other room - then the story went stupid and I lost respect for the story.

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Big miss was the daughter getting away with killing her parents marriage. Likely, she will get a bad STD; she totally betrayed her father when seducing the mother into her trade. Needed a come to Jesus moment for the daughter.

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3*, Hooyah, lack of story premise/logic/follow-thru.

There's a huge difference between being vengeful and not putting up with how Deanna hurt and betrayed him. Also you never addressed the betrayal and disrespect by his daughter.

The wife became a whore and not just a porn actress, trading sexual favors for hints on where to find him.

The whole ending was a great disappointment.

I normally enjoy your stuff. This one was kind of a missed opportunity for me. I think the story would have been enhanced by getting into the wife's head during her 6 months and on her search for her husband. This could have been done through conversations with the daughter. The wife had little remorse, which always hurts the story for me. We weren't even in the husband's head much after the wife left. You skipped right to the meeting.

The key to any good story is to have likable characters. An nearly spineless husband? Not likable. A wife who suddenly decides to cheat and do porn? Not even close to likable. The girlfriend comes close but, of all the bi-women she could have welcomed into their home and bed, it wouldn't have been the woman that hurt the man she supposedly loves. So it all come together as a sad idea and an even sadder story.

Stupid. The Bear does not approve. No resolution. Sorry.

The BEAR

do the spin off but it has to include paul

Not one of your best.

Wow, wtf is this? Horrible

Yep usually like your stories but this one was shit. The wife and daughter are hateful whores, goodbye to both. The new gf is another whore. Let her play with the ex???

No way. She does, she’s gone too.

The American porn system is the pits, thousands of US teen girls and women are destroyed every year by it and yet you write a story that glorifies a soul destroying industry

You need to watch the three “After Porn” documentaries to get proper perspective of the industry and what it does to those who are part of it. Really, do you honestly believe the female participants lead proper married lives and just turn up to work in a 9-5 job having sex for a living???

Get real!!!

That is just so false, drugs are rife in the industry that’s how many of the participants keep going, the suicide rate is so high it isn’t funny. There are no fulfilled lives for those who are in it and when they finally get out their relationships and lives are in the clear majority of cases ruined.

Write another true story about porn and these characters, one not glossed over with bullshit. Write a story about these characters and destruction that porn causes in their lives. The daughter, the wife, the poor husband. Balance the ledger.

I dare you.

Scores 1/5. This is one of your worst tales, you can do a lot better than this drivel.

3 Stars. I would have given more but there was no real resolution between Deanna and Paul and no mention at all between father and daughter over her betrayal and disrespect.

Sorry no, She cheated.... burn

What a shitty story. Sorry I wasted my time on this very unlikable whatever it was.

Interesting path…. Gotta luv when hubby wins out in the end, a bisexual cute engineering nerd with a big sex drive. Just strap a rocket to his ass and shoot him into the playboy mansion! Awesome

Lets see, I already had my ROFLMFAO story earlier. Sooooooooooooooooooooo, i guess this dumpster fire, and yes this is exactly what this is, should get my much coveted JFC award. You also win the WTF award as well. Rarely has any story won both.

Mark this one down in your diary Hemingway, this is some serious stupidity in written form.

Another frustrating story by BigGuy33. Once again a wife runs roughshod over her husband. In the first place I think any parent would be appalled at their daughter becoming a porn star. Regardless of how careful they are STD's run rampant within the industry. When his daughter sends him the videos of her mother being a cheating whore she had to know that would end their marriage. What a bitch! Next, after being married that long Deanna had to know her actions would end her marriage so she had to be good with that ending. Why didn't the husband simply file for a divorce? Hiding seemed like a chicken shit move. But you, once again, had an excuse to have a woman betray a man. When Christina gives up all the information to Deanna and then fucks her, how can that be seen as anything less than a betrayal of his trust? And how does he go from hating his wife's cheating to condoning his girlfriend sleeping with any number of women? The characters are just too uneven in their moral stances, changing as the wind changes. And you once again give us a spineless man. Frankly I'm tired of it. My hope was that he never spoke to his ex-wife, daughter or Christina ever again. And why would going to North Carolina do anything for Deanna since Christina and Paul were in Texas? UGH!

He was lucky with the bi-women. His life was pathetic, his daughter did not care about him, neither did his wife nor girlfriends. I did not like the story but it is not the writer's fault. ***

Good to have you back writing again.

Better luck next time

This may be a first, a story of yours I really found unpleasant to read.

There really is not much to like here. technical writing was well done, but the story was crap.

The wife and daughter were vile pieces of dung. You didnt expand on the effects of what this would do to a guy. The daughter cheerfully pimped her mother to be a whore?

And really you had him sex her again?

And the husband hanging with a bi girl after what he went thru?

No the story was just not well done, I suggest a rewrite.

Boy - talk about having your cake and eating it too. All three of them, but especially Paul. He got his divorce, he got his wonder woman new girlfriend, and he got to screw his ex. The lack of vitriol and bile is refreshing. In the end I can’t help but like all three lead characters. Thanks for the new story. I always enjoy your writing style.

paul so stupid , why have anything to do with your whore ,after what she did to you dumb ass,

I think maybe the daughter was the major plot fault. She obviously had no respect for her father, no respect for her parent's marriage, and obviously no self respect. When asked why he robbed banks, Dillinger said, Because that's where the money is. Why do you think women sell their sex, for the thrill? Because they want the money, and the shortest and intellectually easiest path to money is through their pussy. So all of the suggestions and claims in this story that sex work is about thrilling wondrous sexual experiences is complete bullshit.

Deanna apparently was a whore in waiting, and when the opportunity came along she fell right into it. She obviously found the most lucrative and immediate employment that she was mentally and physically suited for. I remember the choice of a distant family relative, when their kids became older and started leaving home, the wife became a Doctor of Dentistry. Pornography, Dentistry, just flip a coin, right?

And she really fought for the marriage, spending 6 months getting all the sex they could hire her for, and expecting her husband to be sitting home ready and waiting for her? God, her cunt and asshole must have been about as tight as a size 8 Derby hat.

But all's well that ends well. The characters in this story are so fucked up who cares how it ends? Deanna and her daughter will end their lives hooked on drugs or alcohol, and will have had more cocks and more abortions than a Mexican whore. It would be funny to see their last days dying from HIV. And the dumb shit husband will have the most confused look in his face when Christina decides she's not really bisexual, she's just a man in a woman's body. Wonder if the dumb cuck will pay for the surgery and transition therapy? Spare me.

An interesting if unbelievable tale. Thanks for the effort.

NO WAY! As soon as she said she was going back to Calipornia to make adult films for sixxx months she would be history! AND the daughter she rode in on to boot! Vows broken, having sex "for art", really?!? She was getting paid for sex, she was a worker in the sex industry, she became a prostitute and a whore. She might not have stood on a physical street corner, but she will end up on the "virtual street corners" of countless computers around the globe! Why don't women understand this concept? They have such low regard for themselves, sad.

Sorry, but this was just too stupid. A wife who NEEDS to be a porn star for 6 months? An adventure? Now the husband doesn't mind? Just stupid.

Big guy is a pussy cuck. Gfy

There at the end,,,, why was she making trips to North Carolina?

After I read a few of the comments I realized it has all been said. If it was the first of your stories I read, there wouldn't have been a second.

Garbage. One Star.

Paul not mashing down on a Melissa for introducing her to porn, let alone going along with Deanna at all, is a no-go for me. Both acted in unacceptable ways. Good bye and good riddance.

Both denied the sanctity of the marriage. If Deanna had gone to California and had an alcohol fueled sex weekend is one thing. The deliberate and long term destruction of the marriage is something else. This is as bad as the presently running... can’t remember the name of story, but wife goes down to Columbia with Doctors Without Borders for a planned 30 tryst with Doctor McDreamy. Planned infidelity WITHOUT the OK of the spouse is cheating. Just telling the spouse the infidelity is going to happen is not acquiescence or acceptance.

It would have been good if Deanna had got some nasty virus that she passed along to everyone. Including the daughter — the whore.

Was good . But then you screwed it up . I am sure the shittty score will reflect it. Maybe you will learn to not go the way of HDk and cuck it up

This story was just so matter-of-fact. No emotion.

Lesbian sex and 3some could be seen coming a mile away.

And what's with the daughter. She definitely should be history. She had no right interfering in parent's marriage and pushing mom into porn even though she knew mom was searching for something in her life. Why did she think it should be porn?

@etchiboy, the story you're thinking of is "Just Once... If You Don't Mind?: by Kalimaxos.

I’d leave Deanna alone, don’t bother with her California adventures. Her story is how she destroyed her marriage by failing to communicate with her husband.

The sad part, is how their daughter actively and deliberately split them. She knew the eventual outcome. She chose a parent, and without a reason, shit on the other. If not for one fortunate night, he’d have been a very sad man for a very long time.

Is this NTR hentai?

Dumbest story line that I've seen lately! You were either drunk, on drugs or insane when you wrote this trash! Just look at the comments and realize that there are a lot of pissed off readers that thought the story sucked (no pun intended). Looks like writing is not for you! Try something else!

Generally love your stuff. But this was a terrible story about two people not invested in their marriage. And a daughter without scruples. And a soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend out to put her boyfriend in his place as she shows her "independence." And a doormat of a man.

Open marriage, fine -- it's honest. Hotwife - honest. Polyamory - honest.

Wife cheating ? DISHONEST. Unscrupulous daughter encouraging cheating ? DISHONEST. Girlfriend having sex with the one women who was her "boyfriend's" cheating wife ? Ultimate in disrespect.

Man putting up with this girlfriend's antics ? Fucking pussy-whipped. And OTHER woman , quite possible. But this particular slut blew up his marriage. That's why he's jello.

As bad as a RAAC, even though it technically wasn't one.

Yikes! Your worst by far...husband happily humiliated by wife AND daughter.

An ok 'fap' story but not my cup a tea. Had to quit reading when everyone got all pleasant and shit. Plus how fucked up was the daughter about how little she thought of her dad and her parents marriage that she played that active a role in sabotaging it.

With the steps you took making his character leave her there wouldn’t be any way he wasn’t still pissed 1*

The premise for the story was okay, but compared to your previous work, it felt like you were just phoning it in.

Where was the husband's devastation at his wife cheating on him? Why would he be offering to "work on their marriage" when she'd just run off and fucked two pornstars? They were married for 20 years and she just threw it away on a whim! Where was the hurt at his daughter's betrayal? She eagerly encouraged her mother to become a pornstar with absolutely no regard for her father's feelings. I know most strippers have Daddy issues, but she really hate her father that much?

Then after six more months of Deanna cheating on him relentlessly, the husband instantly forgives her for destroying their marriage and wants to be friends? His self-esteem would've been crushed after the wife left him to fuck a bunch of big-cocked young porn studs! It would take years to get over being emasculated like that, let alone the abrupt loss of his wife (and presumably his daughter).

The daughter must not of had much of a relationship with the dad. Any woman who thinks she can step out of her marriage with no feelings for her husband is an idiot and get what she deserves. Like your stories but not this one.

I enjoyed it.

He's a cuck on several levels. You set up the "angry soon-to-be ex-husband" trope, then didn't follow through.

Absolute GARBAGE!!!! Yout outdid yourself.

Enjoyable story until Dee returned from Cali. Also, the daughter's actions seemed needlessly heartless and destructive.

Really didnt like this. Trying so hard to be constructive, however. You are correct that the setup has been done before. I honestly cant remember if has ever been done well. I see the train departing the track when she comes home unrealistically with no plan. She would have to convince him of the limited 6 month thing, and receive an confirmation that he had no plans to divorce her before going back. This was needed, if she cant convince him she cant convince the readers. His responses. Tet a tet dialogue. Insight to the pain, and yes, even scrambled justifications would have given this more traction. With out it, story stops making any sense. And 3 pages later, you actually achieve it making even less! The biggest sin of any " she still loves her husband despite all the adultry " trope, is that many authors never explain WHY? Why does she still want him bad enough to track him down? The old why even try stay married if she was so unhappy? It is those reasons that needed to be present on page one. Without the inner thoughts, none of your character can have any depth. I dont think characters have to be likeable to be interesting. But cardboard cutouts never are. I too have liked alot of your other stuff, but this thing just didnt work. Sorry. Better luck next time.

One of my favorite authors with many favorite stories, but this one is just not a good one. The three way with the ex wife killed if for me. What were you thinking?

What a ridiculous story.

Gave this a 4 instead of a 5 because I didn't like the way it ended up. My preference would have been more to him cutting off their daughter along with the wife. Not bringing the wife into his new relationship. I'm not sure if BigGuy33 was making a particular point with this, or if it was just a case of the story and characters going where they went, whatever the author may have originally intended. Which does happen to writers.

This was a great story...up till Paul went RAAC!!!! BTB!!!

no

daughter looks to me like something thats in urgent need of therapy

Can he sue this thing?

The whore... well no... just no!

1*

@sbrooks103x

If all of your nit picks bother you so much, why don't you TRY to write your own version.

BigGuy33 has given permission.

I give most of yours 4's and 5's but had a hard time stomaching this. I am not always a BTB guy but couldn't see any other way as reasonable. She would have gotten papers in California as soon as I could make it happen, using the films if possible in a vindictive way. The daughter would be disowned!