All Comments on 'Yes'

where is the rest or this story?

Sorry for the pun, but, this is not even a climax.

A couple of disjointed scenes does not a story make. This was a mess. Who's Sean, other than a greasy, sweaty Adonis? Who is Clair, what makes her some kind of trophy for an Adonis? Was Clair so desirable but untouchable and only obtainable through the weakness of her husband to the temptations of gambling? What was the bet her hubby made, was he tricked or forced into making and losing it and what actually was at stake that he was prepared to risk his now reluctant wife? Why would Clair wait until after surrendering to the sexual act if she knew Sean's weapon was next to her clothes the whole time, which she could have reached while Sean was still flat on his back on the bed and she was standing? Why bother to go to the police after the deed and confess to predetermined murder if she was the subject of a private bet and had only the circumstantial evidence of surrendering to sex without any forensic evidence by way for lesions and bruising of being raped? Why didn’t she go to the police to report that Sean was threatening to enforce the loss of her husband's bet? Emptying a gun into a prone satiated man, who was presenting no threat to her own life at that instance, and, with the presence of mind to use a pillow to muffle the sound, leaves her open to a charge of predetermined murder. Why would she believe she would have been a suspect in Sean's murder? Was there a "dead or alive" reward for killing Sean and this was a plot by her and hubby to cash in, but not before getting a strange cock in Clair's cunt first? Why would she be "discussed" at her reactions to Sean's pussy manipulations?

Because we have no clue about who either of these people are, other than Clair's mild reluctance to give into her lust and an oblique reference to some sort of bet made by parties other than herself, we really don't give a toss who they are or what happens to either them, so the shooting lacks dramatic impact and the surrender to the police seems quite ridiculous.

Next time (or if rewriting this scene) think about who your characters are, the manner of their relationship, what their backstories are which bring them to the scenario you've set, what motivates their actions and reactions to their circumstances and weave a story that can be called a story that will pique the reader's interest rather than frustrate them.

..kill her husband? He was the guilty one...

...this story seems like it is missing the first two pages. Leaves a lot of unanswered questions.

Loklie

You call that a story? Maybe you should try again. What you wrote does not rate one star!

If it's in the offering for you please follow 101 on story writing.

Who the fuck is named Sean Stein???

You posted this twice under two separate titles? Why? It’s just as pointless a non-story under either title. She wasn’t forced. She fucked Sean willingly, most likely to get back at her husband for whatever he did to put her in that situation. Considering that Sean was laying naked on the bed, she could’ve just as easily picked up the gun and shot him before she had sex with him. So no, there was no unwillingness on her part. This was premeditated murder after she had her little bit of fun and gotten the strange d.