All Comments on 'Young Love: Antidote to Existence'

Sweet but not hot. That's ok.

Sweet story. Well written. Two things: most women's hymens have already been broken by age 18. "Good work, Car," is uncomfortable and out of place. It's the equivalent to a pat on the back or a handshake. He doesn't need to review her effort.

Good story!

4

@Anonymous

Good call on the "Good work, Car" line. You're right that it doesn't fit the mood of this story well.

In terms of hymens typically already being broken by 18, that's my understanding as well, but I think I still like it as part of the story since I'm not going for 100% statistical realism, but rather just what I like the best for that part of this story.

I appreciate the feedback! I'm going to send an edited version of this story to the admins to take the "Good work, Car" line out.

I was the previous anonymous. I'm glad my constructive criticism was received as such. I do love the story. The second reading is as sweet and erotic as the first, reminding me of my own past first times. Well done.

As a point: having sex for first time does not generally break the hymen. If it does, she's not well lubricated.

There's a good story here, but it needs some polishing.