All Comments on 'Your Sins Find You Out - Derek's Story'

were they even his kids?

@ju8streading: As it took some months before she got pregnant it sure seems so. If she would have gotten pregnant immediately, then it would be interesting question.

I would like to know her opinion about the disrespect mentioned in this story she seems to have shown over the last 23 years.

Unrealistic he stayed so long with that abuse.

This was really good but I would have liked to know why she changed into such a bitch. I'll check out the first story to see if it's explained there.

Ok just read the first story and there is nothing to suggest she was a bad wife other than her one night fling. So the question remains why did she turn from a loving wife who had been his girl since they were 10 into such a bitch?

2* for this: "My opening statement of three sides to every story says there is another story here. I would love to see someone else write it."

Two different points of view on a marriage, on a situation.

In this case, the differences are so great that it seems like two different stories.

But the best is yet to come with an avalanche of judgmental comments: on the feelings, on the behaviors, on the attitudes of the characters.

As a reminder, each person has a different feeling and state of mind when faced with an adulterous situation.

Between the notion of being: - a true or a false, enough or not enough..... Man... depending on whether he accepts, whether he forgives, whether he burns, whether he overcomes, whether he is inflexible...

I didn't know that you could label a male being as such.

Another symbolic notion: adultery. Is this simply an error? or as others think, not a mistake but a betrayal?

So here too the opinions and notions are as different as there are people.

The fact that you wrote this tells me you came to realize how much of a man-child Derek came off in the original. Unfortunately, this retcon went too far in the other direction, and now he seems like a masochist.

Thank you for your work. Unfortunately, the disconnect between the two stories is too great for me. In the first story, after the “incident,” the errant spouse says, “after 18 years of bliss we go on a cruise. “ in this version, that 18 years is hell on wheels for hubby. I can tell you didn’t want the disrespect to be met head on because you have Derek completely avoid engaging Mel. So she doesn’t know why he is leaving. I don’t think men operate like that. Nor do I think they usually operate by agreeing to let their son play for another team and then coach a different team. You never really explain how this happened. And this. Ever came up in the first story; why? I can only conclude that Mel shows Derek disrespect because he is a doormat. In the first version, Derek is an unlikeable character. In the second, Mel is. In both, we have two people trapped in alternative realities, experiencing completely different lives. Finally conclusion, this is an independent story set in the multiverse, on a timeline near ours.

This guy harbors feeling of her attitude Eve after he finally pulls the plug all he focuses on is her cheating. The kids even mention the attitude. Why in Hell would he not give his soon to be ex AND her mother a list? He just takes the MIL coming over and telling him to man up. Why not ay it on the line with both and list every damn instance?

Now that we have her side and his side, will author now hopefully provide "the truth"?

It would be interesting to see how the two sides can be blended together.

My first wife had a dominant personality, in my opinion. However, I was involved in naming both my sons. She often made decisions without my input but knew her propensity not to include others in her decision-making and was always open to change after the fact. We each selected a name for our sons.

He really was a wimp; but it was a good story; 5*.

Derek was an ass. This second part of the story was disappointing and unnecessary.

New plot lines added that weren't in the first story took away form this story. It would almost be better to let it stand on it's own.

What a cop-out. In the first story, none of what you made her out to be in this was evident. Then you turn and make her a shrew and Derick, a saint.

This version just reinforces my comments on the first that it lacked depth. This version was much better developed. There are a couple plot gaps, like did talk to his MIL about pushing for children but allied Mel to say he wasn’t supportive, and he was cheating on his wife before the divorce. 4.3*

PS - Need to check auto-spell better! Should read “allowed Mel”…

Wow, you're getting shot down, and it seems that most readers don't understand what a POV is.

POVs are necessarily oriented.

In our case, in the first story she looks like a good wife but that's her vision of her marriage.

What do you think she was going to say: I'm an egocentric bitch, I know it, but it doesn't matter.

Similarly, the husband has his own vision of his life and his marriage. What's he going to say: I'm a wimp who hasn't said anything for 20 years? Or doesn't she respect me?

And that's how it works. We always see other people's faults, but very rarely our own. It's always easier to blame others than to take responsibility for yourself.

This is what the author wanted to achieve. I think.

So what is "true reality"?

Unless we have a totally impartial observer, we'll never know.

Totally different story than the first one to make Derek appear less of an idiot!!! Or Darren? Guy dumps on his wife and doesn’t even know his own name!!!!

This is outstanding! Literotica is filled with "other side" stories, in which the wife or husband simply rehashes the events covered in the original story, often with a few added justifications. Frankly, I'm somewhat guilty of that myself.

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What Topspot has done here is create an alternate narrative that dovetails perfectly with the original, but fills in the blanks, adding richness and depth to the original text. On first reading, I gave the first story a 4--like many readers, I found Derek kind of a cypher. Unforgiving, dismissive, uncommunicative--basically a classic burnt ego guy who is unable to either back down or see past his feelings. After reading this, I went back and changed my score to 5.

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After reading this, I noticed a lot of details in the original, like the fact that Mel's "solution" was basically to give into her mother, or the fact that when things are going well, she says that she's happy and her mother's happy, but not that Derek is happy. Or the fact that his vasectomy is dropped on the reader as if it's a fait accomplis, but we never see any discussion of it. In the original, Derek is a cypher, but not necessarily because the author underwrites him; rather, he may be a cypher because his wife never bothered to pay attention to the way she was treating him. The first story is about her and her life; he only enters in as a bit character who supports her or fails to support her.

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Readers have criticized the fact that she never notes her cruel or cutting statements in the original, suggesting that poor planning or revisionism might be the culprit for the fact they never showed up. I would argue that a more likely conclusion is that she never noticed that she was being cruel or cutting. And that might be the cruelest cut of all. If you were to ask Mel if she disrespected/minimized her husband, she'd probably vehemently deny it. However, her actions suggest that her disrespect isn't a deliberate act, but rather a deeply held, poorly interrogated facet of their relationship.

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It's also telling that, while Derek exiles himself to a secondary apartment in the house in order to help the kids, she proceeds straight on to divorce when it serves her interests. Suggesting that Derek isn't the only one she marginalizes in her life.

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The limitation of individual perception is a recurring theme in this writer's work--it shows up in his February Sucks rewrite, his version of Independence Day, his take on A Promise Made, and others. It's a powerful theme, particularly when it comes to issues of interpersonal relationships, and he handles it well. VERY much looking forward to future stories!

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Thanks for the great work!

Everyone has a point of view. We don't always get to see multiple points of view. Also we readers run the risk of coming across an unreliable narrator. Interesting and a 5* story.

"Life at home was never great."

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I did what I was told, never complained, and had no life of my own. End of Story

She abused the fuck out of him for 23 years, without reason and he stayed with her. She cheats on him once and THAT’S the line? She can do anything she wants but if she has sex with another man, we’ll that’s just too much, now he’s going to leave her.

Fuck him. How could anyone respect a man who eats shit sandwiches every day and never says no? He has no self respect, why should anyone else respect him.

Missed him finding out the kids were not his.

Drum roll. The children’s father is?

His own fault staying married for so long.

To topspot101 and authors / writers, or those who can’t make up their minds, once you give permission for others to write a follow up you forfeit the right to be followed and for me, the humble reader, to make a judgement if the characters in part two are better than those in part one. Your loss.

Good story, but DNA on the the children?

Yeah, agree with Tajfa and woodward, there's nothing in the first story that showed she was a bad wife, other than that one time of cheating, nothing showed her as a bad wife, this made no sense of how she was such a bitch and he took the abuse. It feels like a disconnect between the two stories because if she was like this, it would have been mentioned after she had him served and she reflected, but other than her one night, she wasn't a bad wife. @Infosauger, her opinion was the first story and none of it was mentioned, making this disrespect make no sense in this one.

@Infosauger; Yes, but remember the remarks of Mel, given in this part, about the inactivity of her husband's sperm and his male insolvency in general. I wouldn't be surprised that after three months of fruitless attempts to get pregnant, Mel secretly resorted to the help of some outsider man. Remember that each new part of this story reveals more and more facets of the monstrosity of Mel's personality. It is possible that the next part will be written on behalf of a certain man who was the real father of the twins and remained Mel's secret lover for 23 years of her marriage. It clearly wasn't Alan, because he only mentioned one single night with her. But maybe it was one of the softball coaches, which explains Sam's move to another team.

Nope. Not even a hint of her being shrew in the first story. I don't buy it. Also 30 years together or 23?

I think they stay together. 30 years vs a one night stand. The years win out.

None of this makes any sense. He didn't care whether or not she was still having sex with Alan but later lay in his bed crying. How can that be? Mel was an abusive harpy and had been for years but he still wanted to go on a cruise with her in the hope of reconnecting? I think not. She was an abusive mother to their children but they were desperate to see their parents stay together. Really? She treated him with contempt and condescension for all those years but all it took for all the pieces to fit together was the discovery that she had a drunken one off encounter with another man many years earlier. Please! I could go on but I think you all get the picture. I realise that this was an attempt to offer an alternative perspective but it failed completely because it was such a contradiction of part one.

Both your stories just don’t match. While the POVs may differ…the on ground facts cannot be so different that one wonders if the two stories are anyway related! Pse work on your stories…else readers will lose interest!

An unbelievable tale with an even more unbelievable husband: he behave like a brainless sheep for more than twenty years accepting all that hate from her bitch wife without even trying to defend himself. With that non-man behaviour, he completely deserved what happened to him. And what about "his" kids: were they his or were bastard kids coming from his wore wife and her lovers ? And why if the awful bitch didn't want more kids, was the husband to be sterilized ? And why was her nazi mum to decide when the spouses should have children ? Totally nonsense characters and so a totally unrealistic tale.

"I had to let her know I didn't love her anymore, but there was no point rubbing salt in the wound by telling her it was her attitude as well."

He really is a little weak after all, not having the balls to talk about the MAIN reason for falling totally out of love, and in no way as abruptly as it seemed in her story. Communication between the pair of them broke down decades ago.

Very good writing. Thank you!

Yes, he was a wimp...A poorly written character because it is hard imagining anyone accepting the level of disrespect that he endured from the mil bitch and the wife bitch. The "for the children" trope is also tired and toxic.

"Mel thought I should have been more forceful with her mum" - She's HER mother, a son-in-law gets forceful with his m-i-l at his own risk.

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I realize we're getting this from a different POV, but I find it hard to believe that she'd be so self-centered as to think that their marriage was perfect, when he was so miserable.

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"I just couldn't be bothered listening to him, grunting and groaning on top of me, for a third." - That implies not even having sex.

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The disconnect between the two stories is just too much. As someone said, how does a mother FORCE her son to play for a team other than the her husband coaches, without a HUGE blowup?

Are the kids his?

Readers Digest story?

Why is Derek presented as a complete doormat the entire period of his married life. But then, 23 years later, suddenly grows a pair! Really? If the previous 23 years had taken place the way it was presented, with Derek being a submissive simp type of a doormat and Met making ALL the decisions, including naming the kids without consultation. I mean, when he "woke up" and grew a backbone on the ship, why the fuck didn't he confront that guy Mel cheated with? He had two weeks to do so. Plus, why the hell didn't he arrange for DNA tests on the kids as soon as he got back?

Most "normal" husbands would not have put up with a haragon of a wife over those few months making comments about him not being "man enough" to get her pregnant. Nor the old trout of a MIL moaning about not having grandkids. Plus, the excuse for not filing immediately for divorce after the cruise "because of the kids" was pathetic. They are adults, not 13 year olds. He didn't need to be home for them to take them to sports! FFS.

As for all that stuff about coaching etc and what his wife did... well, only a pathetic arsehole would have accepted that. Finally, with the way his wife treated him, she would NOT have "almost collapsed" at the cruise. She would have been so used to running the marriage she obviously didn't love him and would have immediately divorced. He was too pathetic to even do that right.

I was initially going to say that the story doesn't make sense, and to be sure, there are some elements that absolutely don't, but then I thought about looking at the husband as a victim of domestic abuse, and then, even though the wimpiness is still extremely grating to me, I can understand why he never did anything about it, why he never left, why even after the revelation of her infidelity he still can't divorce her, but instead has to wait for her to divorce him.

Wow! Could Derrick have been anymore of a pussy? Letting his wife and MIL walk all over him for 23 years with no pushback. Men should respect women but themselves as well.

LIked it enough

Not a fan of this part. While explaining the actions that created distance in their relationship, I hate that he ended up being the "wimp of a husband" her lover pointed out. He put up with all that disrespect and slithered away and hid from his wife on the ship, then whined it was why he wanted a kind of divorce. What a loser.

Wow, so much more going on in this story compared to the first. Her side had no mention of a bitchy mother or her as a wife. She barely mentions the kids growing up. His side has all the bitch wife and shitty mother.

Was that by design to say she had rose colored glasses for the marriage?

I read the first story and was disappointed with Derek. So the author had to write a follow up story where since she hung the horns on him Mel sprouted some from her forehead? To explain away his childish actions, Mel had to be cast as the spawn of Satan. The author injected disrespect prior to the one night stand that was the focal point of her committing to the relationship, being cut off from sex during the pregnancy and getting very little afterwards? Then there was a pattern of total disrespect through the entire marriage? Derek was flat out miserable in his marriage. Why the hell would a man take his wife for a cruise after dealing with that crap for so long?

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This sequel makes no sense other than trying to excuse Derek. Don’t get me wrong, I am in the one and done camp. The fact is it occurred 23 years prior. It was a focal point that made her realize the mistake and commit completely to her marriage with no relapses or regrets. There were children created after her rededication to her marriage. Regardless of how the discovery was made, Derek still needed to talk to Mel but instead, he was a petulant dick again?

I was surprised he never checked to see if the kids were really his at the very beginning. Having the names changes at birth would have been a fairly simple thing and a few harsh words about his mother-in-law would have been sufficent. Moving away would have been on the table. He basically lets himself be bullied for twenty odd years before he grows a spine (he doesn't really). In my opinion that's way too long, even in a fictional story. Near the end he still doesn't have the balls to divorce her and lets her do it. Saying that he stays for the kids is bollucks. Whether he's in the house or a few miles away, the kids can go see him. You made it seem like the kids were still babies at twenty. Too much go along to get along is this poor story.

My problem with this story is really the same as with the first story - the discovery. She has a one night stand or sorts with a guy and 23 years later that same guy recognizes her and outs the affair. Had this guy been a coworker who would have reason to recognize her, then I accept it. Had it been an overheard conversation between the cheating wife and a relative or close friend, I buy it. But the guy is a cruise line worker. How long in. that job, I don't really know. But this guy has obviously seen the faces of thousands of people and he probably has had sex with many, many women. For the cheating wife to not physically change that much (two kids, housewife) and to have somehow registered with this guy so much that 23 years later in an instant recognizes her? That loses points in my book.

I didn't connect with the characters at all. It read more like a report than a story. Very unsatisfying

I'm surprised at the folks who dislike this - you've done a pretty fair job of telling the story from two biased perspectives, which is what you promised. I'd think you could handle the third side pretty well, too.

Couldn’t divorce so he could be there for his 20-something kids? What baloney, he was written to be so spineless, he lost this reader’s empathy. And why wasn't he concerned that the children weren't his? Did I miss something that made clear they were?

Good story. Well narrated, not excess of words, as is common in LW. But the husband was always submissive, accepting being alienated from all decisions. When he took his first stand, it was too late. His life was wasted.

Oh, I read the first story and it is clear they were his kids there.

You certainly forgot about the children. It is clear that they are not his.

This seems so far away from her side of things that she is either delusional or he is. Can't see how anyone would put up with the attitude he relates for a few months, let alone years.

So this is how an extreme femdom fetishist writes this sort of a story.

Derek is a weak cunt. She should have been tossed out 30 years ago.

As for writing the wife's side of this, you've created fallow ground and are now inviting someone to plant flowers there. No, Mel's character is like so many on this site--amateur writing--and she's the typical one-dimensional, hyperbolic character we see in what passes for film these days (the 'Marvelization' of film as one critic described it). When a character has no endearing qualities, is unconflicted, lacks self-awareness or basic empathy/sympathy, then how does anyone write that person's story? That's like reconstructing the failed Austrian artist, and hell, even he loved dogs and was nice to little kids. Mel? She's a cartoon character, and unless any prospective writer wants to have her chasing The Roadrunner along the Arizona/New Mexico state highways, I can't see anyone taking up that challenge.

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Concerning this story, I find it impossible that any man, even a little milquetoast (all of them are potential passive-aggressive bully types), wouldn't defend themselves, especially over her explanation as to why they had but two children. I mean, a simple, "Your gynecologist advised against you bearing any more children; I wasn't the weak link, Dear." As it were, when he got hurt, he ran away as do all the other angry husbands do on LW. Again, that's lazy writing because that pathway is easy to write. Kudos for at least talking to the wife, but his, "Whatever," response made me groan. Kudos also for the paramour NOT fathering the children (I suspect some readers missed the two mentions precluding that). 4/5.

There was a lot in this story that just didn’t appear in the first “Mel” version. To wit:

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— the entire mother in law dynamic

— the fact that Mel treated Derek terribly the entire marriage (not just his opinion, but corroborated by his kids)

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These things made this version a completely different story than what was presented in the first version by Mel.

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So….since a story has “three sides”, are we going to get a final one told in 3rd person so readers get the “truth”?

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4 ****

One final comment: While many commenting have noted that version 1 is Mel’s POV and mindset etc., and this version is Derek’s POV and mindset, etc. —— we actually DO have a third POV in this story that, frankly, supports the Derek POV — the kids, who testify that they witnessed the “real bitch” (their words) Mel was to him over the years, As the daughter said: "Mum did things like that all the time, making sure you couldn't go to things. I hated it, but we could not say anything against her because she would be brutal to us if we did."

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The kids’ perspective in this version lends a lot of support to the Derek POV of the marriage — and goes a long way toward painting Mel’s POV in the first story —- delusional.

Lol glad I don't remember the first story lol read this as a stand a lone

And what is up with the similar story bs none of those stories weren't even close

You’re right there is her store where “Yes, I did something wrong but…..”. Then there is his story “She did this and that…..”. Then there is the truth, which neither person can even see and there is no one left to tell it.

This crux is just so brilliant

I held her gaze. It had been two years since I had sat and looked at her, and as I did it, I knew my love for her had died. I did not see a cheater, I did not see a slut. I saw a woman who thought my love for her was so strong, she could disrespect and humiliate me for her own pleasure. I did not love this woman any more.

A big difference between this one and the one told by Mel.

It is your story and I would rather read your version of the truth. Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading it.

Good story!

5

Mel’s mother had a big part in her attitude toward her husband. Also they tried for 3-4 months before she got pregnant. He should have a DNA test done with the kids.

@Anonymous Re: Domestic abuse - While she might not have seen it as harshly as he did, for her to not even find her actions as not even be worth mentioning is ludicrous.

There were some very different story lines in this version that weren't mentioned in her 'side' of the tale, but I guess that could be chalked up to '3 sides' to every story...

I did like the story though, and was glad to see the kids did support his new life in both versions.

This story reports a negative cruel character of Mel that the first story never insinuates. Its like Mel is a different character for each story. The other character change is the husband, and this story makes him look weak and dithering. He endured 23 years of contempt and disrespect? That is not the behavior of a strong self confident man. It would almost make sense if Mel became a chronic cheater, looking for a real man in her life. But neither story indicates Mel ever cheated on her marriage again.

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It appears the husband was ready to dump the marriage for a long time, and just needed a reason. Since he didn't have the "bottle" (what the fuck is that, balls?) to divorce Mel, she again demonstrates a stronger more resolute personality and decides to move on with her life without this whinny cold shoulder asshole. They are Both better off without this albatross of a marriage.

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Marriage is difficult, and requires a Great deal of effort. One of those efforts is not avoiding confrontation, not enduring demeaning belittling treatment, and not allowing sores to fester. This pathetic cuck got what he settled for, for 23 years. I'm glad he found a better woman. Its unfortunate that such a good woman ends up with such a weak man. I expect Mel, the Mel from the first story, will do just fine. The disrespectful scornful Mel, who knows? She's got a functioning cunt, and there are plenty of men just as stupid as her first husband. Maybe someone will write that sequel.

A very good sequel.

Though it really makes me sad a marriage is broken by disrespect.

But I do can relate to the MC's just got enough of disrespect and got out of the marriage.

Though this MC's perspective is so different from Mel's perspective which is quite interesting to me how different man and woman's perspective on the same issue. Here the disrespect takes on a much viler form than Mel's which made some commenters and including me why he should not reconcile for a mistake. The other thing is that he didn't DNA his twins when he already replayed back what happened on that night Mel had sex with a stranger. He could have surmise to take the twins' DNA just to make sure and to confirm Mel's snarky comment about MC's "swimmers" sperms.

Not that I enjoyed reading sad tales but this was truly a good sequel and captivated me to read on.

Thanks topspot101 for a well-written story.

The character of the wife is so different in this chapter, this might as well have been a different story all together

So I commented on the first part based, as I said, on what had been written. This part helps to paint the rest of the story. Here's now what I think.

A disrespectful abusive wife. A bullying abusive disrespectful mother in law who made her daughter into a version of herself. An abusive mother. A man who put up with it for far longer than he should have. The better person came out of this ahead. It just took Derek many years to be the better person. Really well written series and the third part if there is one should only be done by the author. I don't think that "the truth" will be much different from Derek's version but I may be very wrong. BardnotBard

A well-told story, even if I'm not happy with how it turned out. 4*!

Her lover was right,he is a wimp.He should have dumped her when she took Sam to play for another team.

Very realistic outcome and well written. Keep writing!

so, neg comments about over reacting hubby following 1st story caused you to write the 2nd with hubby as a simpering wimp and wife as a controlling mega bitch?

Basically a repeat of part one. 3/4 of it was literally cut and pasted from the first. And, then the writer asks someone else to write the “truth” about his own story? How fucked up is that? 1*

Borrriiiinnngggg

Were to two children his?

You sure do have a knack for creating incredible feckless, unlikeable characters. A wife who is gratuitously disrespectful and dismissive of her husband throughout the marriage, and a husband who does nothing, and says nothing, about it until one day he’s triggered by a quarter century old offense, to seek a divorce, without discussion or deliberation. Dang. This couple just sucks, so why bother with either of them. Nothing to see here. Let’s just move on.

The real question is why did he need the infidelity to come out as an excuse to leave her. The way she had treated him for decades should have been enough. I might have walked away at the hospital, saying "clearly you don't need me to be a part of the kids lives."

Nice second part! Nice story! Well done!

This seemed like an after the fact attempt to dropping her like a hot potato and ghosting her in the first chapter. Oh three horrors! The softball team switch. The names. All worthy of massive arguments. But somehow he just put up with it and any wander why she kept walking over him. Frankly this chapter stunk.

Average at best. All of the main characters are pretty pathetic. Why no DNA test on the kids?

Derek and the kids should have explained her mistreatment of him for 23 years. It could be perceived as “rubbing salt in the wound” but might have taught her a lesson for any future relationship to have a better chance.

This version was unnecessary, should have stopped after the first story. KS

So nothing about why she treated him like shit!

This felt like a rewrite to give him an excuse for being an asshole. Wife was written over the top emotionally abusive. Cannot believe she would not have cheated again and again with that attitude. First one was better.... but understand your point... 3 sides... Reality is somewhere in the middle...

Hmmm. A story about a psycho bitch and the readers are supposed to relate to it...

I can so see what hubby had missed in the putting down of him by Mel I can understand because my 1st wife never ever called me JOHN Just every time the kids asked her something it was "Ask your father " I was always Your father ..even now 50 years later she never calls me John

Some say that the first story never showed the disrespect. Yes, because it was her POV. To her it wasn't disrespect, just the way things should be.

Very well done. Am curious though, wonder what the DNA of the kids would tell us?

In an effort to justify Derek’s impossibly overblown reaction to Melanie’s ancient 1 night stand. which portrayed him as a vindictive and cruel asshole, you write part 2 and fill in a long line of wifely offenses and injuries to his manhood as justification for the harshly rigid Derek in part 1.

But by piling the wife’s offenses on so high and deep and showing him meekly accepting the insults and abuses without pushback you turn him into a weak and submissive character unworthy of his wife’s respect. From one absurd extreme to the other.

A little nuance in character development is not a bad thing

This might have worked if there’s been any hint of her attitude in her version, even one person mentioning it after they got back.

And he can’t even complain about her attitude if he did said about it for decades. Tell her that she should handle her own mother, ask her what she thinks he should do about it.

This doesn’t make him look better.

Great follow up. Don’t know how he managed to tolerate the abuse that long.

What a wimp,he should have dumped her long before her week end away.Even after coming home from the cruise he wasn't man enough to divorce her.

Unbelievable fempov fantasy describing the husband like a wimp brainless monkey. Not credible at all.