All Comments on 'Zach Camping Trip Ch. 01: A Visitor'

wrong category

LW isnt mystic pseudo rape

What mother when confronted by her daughters about an affair would provide that level of detail which makes the man they called dad appear in a lesser man position?

Why post this garbage in LW???

GARBAGE-1*

Zack is a predator and a serial rapist.

Zach's thought - "It seemed to be my destiny to breed any and all willing women especially those that request it of me."

What an outright lie and distortion of truth. The women are far from willing and are NOT acting out of a NORMAL sense of attraction. They have been MANIPULATED by Zach's special powers over them. As described, Zach manipulates the female psyches and nervous systems to enhance and provoke hormonal and mental influence in them. He takes unfair advantage of normal physiological processes to suit his carnal thirst. For example, Cassie walks into a jewelery store and sees an item she finds appealing. The salesman shows her the lovely item which is far too expensive and ornate for any of her needs. She thanks the salesman but declines to purchase the item. Cassie realizes her APPRECIATION for the pretty object but recognizes it is not a NEED.

NOW, the salesman sensing the loss of a sale, having and having a "special power", manipulates Cassie mentally. The salesman puts pressure on her internal desires for the item's beauty and her appreciaction for it. He enhances her feelings and emotional centers, raising within her an overwhelming want and need to possess that item! Finally, she can no longer resist this internal conflict, she breaks down and asks the salesman to box and bag the jewelery as she hands him her credit card! FREE WILL blown right out the window! Zach IS a predatory rapist!

One (1) ☆

I tried, I really did but this was just pure, ridiculous idiocy. And not to mention it was just plain bad. I thought the name of the game was erotic here? Well this is about as erotic as having a cactus shoved up ones ass, repeatedly.

Even as you wrote this dumpster fire you had to have known exactly how bad it really is. Literally every comment below is fully 100% correct.

Wrong category, plain and simple. As LW stories go, this one was a bust. Hot sex scene, yes, but nothing else except an amoral psycho. 3*

I want to see those "athletic breasts." Are they ripped, or just toned? Do they do crunches? Inquiring Minds Want to Know!

This asshole needs to be nailed to a tree, and left for the vultures.

Setting aside the morality of the story - which is pretty much rape by undue ""magical" influence, there is a major flaw in the plot. In the story the twin girls track Zach down by finding they match a lot of other young women due to all of them having the same mitochondrial DNA: "the results came back indicating there were many potential female matches along the occurrences of the same mitochondrial DNA." Anyone who knows anything at all about DNA knows that , unlike chromosomal DNA, mitochondrial DNA is inherited solely from the MOTHER. While chromosomal DNA is inherited from both mother and father, a child receives 100% of his or her mitochondrial DNA from the mother, and 0% from the father. All of Zach's mitochondrial DNA came from his mother, and every one of his many daughters receive their mitochondrial DNA from their mothers, not from him. A man does not and cannot pass on his mitochondrial DNA. His chromosomal DNA, yes, but the mitochondrial DNA? That is a hard no - and a plot point fail. [In fact, the other daughters who will share his mitochondrial DNA are those he fathered on his mother and sisters, who have the same mitochondrial DNA as he does - all inherited from Zach's mother. This is yet another reason why inbreeding is such a bad idea.]

Liked this one very much

Zach Zach Zach Zach Zach Zach. Original name in many of your stories.