Zoe Chloe 01

Zoe Chloe 01

I'm not much of a cross dresser and I only dress a couple of days a week, but I enjoy my time in fem drag. I mostly stay home and chat with people on Chang, but I do go out and cruise around in my SUV from time to time. It's a little risky, but it's so exciting to wear ridiculously short shorts with sheers under them and eye flirt with whoever pulls up next to me on the road.

However, because my SUV has distinctive black stripes on it, I keep my cruising to a minimum. I mean, it wouldn't make for a good day if I trade eye stares with someone on a Saturday night, only to have them park right next to me the following day at the convenience store, right? The black stripes on my SUV are that distinctive and I wouldn't know how to explain to someone that they must have been eye flirting with my girlfriend the night before because at 4pm on a Sunday, well, I'd be back to being Conner and not Zoe by that time.

But I didn't give up on cruising completely. It was my only chance to get out of the house, so to reduce the risk of being recognized by my vehicle, I changed my tactics a little. Instead of cruising the strip with everyone else, I started to cruise that in between zone known as fast food alley on the outskirts of town. It generally had less people who hung around too long after they grabbed their burgers, but it had just enough vehicle traffic to, well, people watch.

So, I started to go through the drive through service windows, get something to eat or drink and I would back into one of the restaurants parking spots while I ate or drank and people watch. The risk of being recognized was still there, but it was greatly reduced. Besides, going through the two drive through windows while dressed was more exciting than just driving around. The hand off process is quick for sure, but everyone peeked down at me and no one accidently spilled my Smoothie in my window, so it was all good.

Now, it's not that I didn't consider that someone would eventually notice my black striped SUV, but I didn't go to fast food strip every Saturday, so I accepted that risk as well.

Hi, I'm Zoe Chloe and I'm gullible enough to believe that I was being sneaky as I parked under one of the fast-food restaurants security lights and sipped my Smoothie.

Anyways, everyone looks out of their windows as they drive, so a few people noticed me after a while, I guess. But it was mostly cool and quick. A head nod, a gentle wave or things like that. But that told me that my risk level had gone up, so I stopped cruising that area for a few weeks.

Hi, I'm Zoe Chloe and I'm gullible enough to believe that no one would remember my SUV after a few weeks of being out of sight.

Well, like I stated above as a possibility, I exited the "Stop & Rob" convenience store on a Thursday afternoon and found a note under my windshield wiper blade.

I should have turned the note over to the authorities or just threw it away, but the message got the best of my curiosity. It simply said "miss your black stripes parked between the yellow stripes" and nothing more. Well, it was signed "Burnt Burger 9pm", but that could have meant anything, right? I mean, which Burnt Burger and when, right?

Hah, kidnappers and their tricks, right?

So, I took the next two days to find the perfect black and yellow outfit because I had to be ready that Saturday because I only cruised the local parking lots on Saturday's, so the signature had to be implying a Saturday night kidnapping, right?

Also, hey folks, I'm Zoe and I'm gullible, so leave a note on my windshield and I'll bring the yellow nylon ski rope, I guess.

Oops, also, there are no perfect black and yellow outfits, so my mystery kidnapper was going to have to settle for a black and purple shirt, black Denim jeans and my black with purple streaks hair piece.

Oh, but I was going to protect myself alright. I had been in the parking lots enough to know where the safest parking spot was, so I hoped that one spot that faced directly into one of the outside security cameras was available and if it wasn't, I would loop the parking lot until it was. Hah, the best laid plans, right?

It must have been a family night or something because the damn parking was absolutely full. So, I did the next best thing and parked in the adjacent parking lot and pulled in so I could see directly into the Burnt Burger parking lot.

Well, well, well, just like someone may have picked up on what my SUV looked like, well, look at that, will you? I recognized that silver pickup truck because it had a very unique dent on the top of the bed rail. So, I sat there and watched him make loop after loop after loop and SOB, turn your head to the right a little damn it! I'm right here!

Anyways, I assumed that the reason they put all those lights on the front of vehicles is so you can go all bat crazy with flashing them, right?

Oh, it was nerve wrecking enough alright, but I was ready for someone to say hello or get lost, so I held my ground and just about broke the light switch on my steering column. And as soon as I thought that at least noticed that someone in the next parking lot was bat crazy, I double checked that I had enough rope and tie straps to make his abduction of me as easy as possible.

"So, we finally meet, huh black stripes? Hi, I'm Nate and I've used a lot of gasoline to meet you."

"Oh, hi, I'm Zoe Chloe and I didn't realize that this is the auxiliary police station parking lot, so we can drive somewhere else if you would like a little more privacy when you figure out that I'm not who you think I might be."

"Ah, are you wearing female panties?"

"I am and I have been doing that for a long time."

"Alright, I'm good. Care to follow me down to the river, Zoe Chloe?"

Hey, the river is as good as any place to be secured for that long ride to the auction block up in the coal hills, right? Also, I brought black tie straps to match my clothing.

And I maintained control once we both arrived on the river banks. I exited my SUV and walked straight to one of the picnic tables. There was no way that I was getting into his pickup that quickly.

"So, Zoe, it's chilly out tonight, wouldn't you rather sit in my trunk while we get know each other?"

"I'm a boy, Nate."

"I know and I watched you walk to this picnic table, so you're a boy with a shapely butt."

"Because the people who work the coal mines like boys with shapely butts?"

"Oh no, they like them big and wide. Well, the office staff wouldn't mind you, but I don't need the money this week, so are we going to have sex tonight, Zoe Chloe?"

Ah, NO. But he wasn't telling me to get lost, so I let that go for a few minutes.

"Um, Nate, would you mind officially rephrasing that to "are we going to have sex sometime in our lives" please?"

"Get lost, Zoe Chloe."

Oh, so it was my turn to watch him walk, huh? By the way, LOL, 20 more cheeseburgers and the coal miners are going to love him. And never mind the questions I asked him as he walked away from me because he didn't answer them anyways, but he did look at my hair for a few moments while we sat on the picnic table, so I think that was good.

Well, I took another two weeks off from the cruising scene to let things blow over, but I did go back. I just parked in the Clacking Chicken Shack instead of any the burger joints. Also, OMG, off brands of cola suck! But, hmmm, golden honey chicken bites and biscuits, am I right?

Now, depending on the point of view, hanging out in the Clacking Chicken Shack parking lot wasn't as busy as the multitude of burger shops, but it had its advantages. For one, I felt much safer there and two, well, on my third visit, I had a visit from a guy who worked there. His name was Billy and he brought me out a free milk shake. And nope, I didn't ask for, but I didn't turn him away either.

"Hi, I'm Billy and I couldn't help but to notice you sitting in the parking lot after you went through the drive through windows. Um, I've seen you a few times lately and I found your Chang homepage, so I know you think our off brand of cola sucks, so I brought you this free milk shake. It's Raspberry."

"Alright then, Billy. Well, as you know then, I'm Zoe Chloe, but what made you think I would like a belly swelling milk shake instead of this dirty rain water cola?"

"Oh, one of girls inside figured out how to make it Raspberry, so that seemed like a good way to meet you."

Hah, damned be the swollen belly, LOL, for one night anyways. I mean, you know me and my Raspberry, right?

"And did the said "girl" say anything about getting something in trade?????"

"Zoe Chloe, it's the 21st century and people have sex. Maybe not tonight, but don't hate me because I find your selfies appealing and attractive."

Stupid fricking 21st century logic.

Anyways, he had to get back inside, but I had plenty of time to sip the thick milk shake and stalk his ass on social media, I mean check out his likes and dislikes. Which were yada, yada, yada, but what caught my eye was his list of friends. LOL, the said "girl" has very unique hair, so I put two and two together and sent her a friend request. I mean, lots of girls have hair that red, but not big and by big, I mean like witchcraft big. Also, she walked to the service window and flashed me a thumbs up as soon as she accepted my request. Oh, also, again, I think it was a thumbs up.

Well, I was also able to figure out which car was Billy's too because people just put everything on social media these days, even though they shouldn't, which means I knew where to park next time.

Now, its weird to sit in parking lot for too long and it felt that my time was about up, so I prepared myself to leave and I did that by giving myself a once over to make sure I looked good enough to walk inside the place and offer up my phone number to Billy. And as it turned out, I wore a nice pair of capri jeans that evening, so inside I went. Hah, right into the jaws of the Tiger known as Lilly.

"Over here missy sissy. Billy is in the backing preparing to close the cash registers for the night or maybe he is crying his eyes out because you challenged him on sex with the first words out of your mouth. The first words out of your mouth, I say."

"Ah, well,"

"Shut it and listen up. First of all, I'm a spiritual advisor, so you owe me one spiritual reading for the Raspberry milk shake. Secondly, Billy will treat you nice if you get over a few things. Thirdly, the guy over my right shoulder is his best bud, so watch how you behave with me. Also, don't be inside of Billy's house after you serve his best bud more than three beers. Fourthly, if you came inside to give Billy your phone number, well, just give it me and I'll see to it that he gets it. Any questions?"

"Um, do you give your spiritual readings in a shed behind your house where nobody could hear me scream?"

"Well, I certainly don't remember having you as a client before, but exactly. Now, give me your phone number and be clearly advised that if you do go out with Billy, then you owe me one Crystal Cleansing appointment."

Ah, what the hell goes on at Clacking Chicken Shack, right? Voodoo? Photoshopping because those aren't her hips as advertised on her social media? Crying in the back room? A best bud who keeps drooling?

"Good, now cleanse your soul and let it out. I've put the words in your head already, so just say what you feel like you have to say, missy sissy Zoe Chloe."

"It may have been unfair of me to challenge Billy about sex right from the start."

And just like that, the black and white images of people staring me down turned back into living color and everyone went back to work like I was never there. I mean, I was there, right? I mean, I turned around and exited the building, didn't I?

Ah, yeah, I did and the first thing I saw before me was my SUV all crumbled up with a silver pickup truck sticking out of the side of it. It appeared that driver (Nate) missed the stop light, missed the road, missed the left turn only, but didn't miss my SUV.

Oh, holy flashing red and blue lights snap, right? I mean, giving a statement to the police dressed like Zoe Chloe wasn't going to be easy, but I son hear a comforting voice behind me. Billy to the rescue, I guess.

"OMG, Zoe, are you alright? You could have been injured."

"Oh, oh Billy, um, I'm fine. I was inside talking to Lilly when it happened. The police want me give a statement and they asked me if I had a way to get home. Does Lilly have an extra broom I can use to fly home on?"

"Ah, Miss, you can flirt with your boyfriend after we take your statement. Please follow Officer Jake to his squad car and we'll have you out of here in just a few minutes. This appears to be an unfortunate accident and it's a good thing you weren't in that mangled mess of metal and plastic."

Wow, as I followed Officer Jake to his squad car, I could see just how messed up my poor little SUV was, like it would have been no place to be just a few minutes prior. Oh, LOL I recognize that silver pickup truck with the unique dent on top of the bed.

"Alright ah, Miss Zoe Chloe Conner, what can you tell me about the events that just transpired?"

"Well Officer Jake, it all started with a guy named Nate about three weeks ago. He liked me, but when I refused to drop my undies for him on our first meeting, well, he told me to get lost. And then I lurked around for a while until I came upon Billy and he said he wanted to give me my change with his tongue and then Lilly went "poof" and my jeans became unbuttoned and then you asked me to search you as you helped me into the rear seat of your squad car. Oh, and there is a silver pickup truck in the side of my SUV."

"So, everything was just an accident? Also, are your jeans still unbuttoned?"

"Officer Jake, I'm a little shaken up, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't ask me questions that you already know the answer to. And I'm not a slut who unbuttons his jeans for just anybody, I just think that Billy is worth talking to."

"OK, but for my report, you haven't actually hooked up with that dweeb just yet, right?"

"Guilty as charged, I suppose, Officer Jake, but I gave hm number tonight."

"Alright Zoe, I have everything I need for my report, which I will drop off tomorrow, you know, for your insurance claim. You will be home just after sundown, won't you?"

"And if Billy claims me tonight on the way home?"

"Hey, I'm happily married, so I'm just looking for an occasional traffic violation. Let me help you out of the back of the squad car, Zoe Chloe."

Oh, well, that's not something that they show in the true crime shows, right? But I'm claiming trauma from my witnessing my smashed SUV and not gay, but it was the first time anyone ever touched me, you know, like that down there. LOL, not that he could find it, even with my zipper partially down.

"Sorry Officer Jake, I've never been known to carry a very large caliber gun."

"Hey, I had to search you, it's policy."

Alright, it was time to get the hell out there before things got weirder because if I'm not mistaken, once the rear door of a squad closes, it can't be opened from the inside. Which meant that Billy was looking better and better. I mean, look at his cute face as he stands there clinching his fists because he had a good view of the way Officer Jake searched for my weapon, will you? That's precious.

"Come on, Zoe, I'll get you home safely. Lilly is going to finish closing up for the night. And she gave us this bag of chicken bites to heat up later."

Hah, it was Lilly! She put her "poof" on that poor guy (Nate) in the silver pickup truck and made this hook up happen! Ugh, which meant I owed her a fricking Crystal Cleansing appointment, which by the other way, hey, I've seen that movie and it always happens in the forest and there always seems to be a knife thrust into the victim's chest. And it's always a huge knife too! You've seen the movies, right? The knife is always huge!

Ah, sports cars, right? No intimacy there. It's like one bucket seat over here and one bucket seat way the hell over there.

"Billy, I'm sorry about challenging you right out of the gate earlier. The thoughts in my head right now make me feel differently about you now. Turn left on Cottonwood Street."

Hah, thoughts in my head, right! Lilly is still at it.

"There, Billy, with the two porch lights. Um, I'm woozy from all of the excitement, maybe."

Huh, for someone who knew absolutely nothing about spending time with another person, I felt that I was alright. And for someone who never had to lean against someone for help walking, well, it's like I had practiced such an arm around lean.

"So, Zoe, to the couch?"

"Yeah, Billy, to the couch and then put the chicken bites in the refrigerator and then come back to the couch and then remember what you said earlier about how you didn't need sex tonight."

"Fine, but I said that I didn't expect sex tonight. Need and want have nothing to do with expectations."

LOL, said no guy ever, I think.

"Relax, I have a gut feeling that my conversation with my insurance company on Monday is going to be very favorable for me, so maybe you want to stop around Monday after you get off work? I plan on being very happy and stuff."

And oh, no more unique production decals. I'll be in the market for something a little less assuming like a bright electric blue 4-wheel drive midsize truck with flashy chrome wheels.

"Fine by me, but I should hang out here for a little while until we're both positive that you're no longer woozy and stuff. Also, you might feel better if you slip out of that Denim, in case Lilly is sending that signal, I mean, if they are as tight as the look."

Hey, he didn't even need to bring Lilly into all that because if there is one thing I have in my closet, it's a ton of soft leisurewear and because it was getting late, well, PJ capri pants seemed appropriate, LOL, said every CD ever!

"Billy, I have to confess. I've never been woozy with anyone before, so is position, OK? Do you mind if I sit on the couch with like this?"

"It's a good start, but don't mind me if I make a few adjustments as the minutes pass."

"Because we're having sex tonight anyways, no matter who said what?????"

"Just close your eyes and concentrate on the visions that Lilly has dancing around in there."

"But you and Lilly, right Billy? Is this a rebound thing?"

"Nope, we just work together. I mean, she spits her dark magic around all the time, but we have never been together."

Oh, Lilly knows some stuff alright. There were so many visions in my head, but I knew they were all just silly spells because nobody can hold a doggie position on the side of a wall like that! Nobody, I tell you.

End Zoe Chloe 01