All Comments on 'Zoo Interrupted'

Great story, AMM, I love it. The brick to the back of the head AND the baseball bat. The one-two punch, guaranteed for hospital time.

Works for me. 5 stars.

Great story. The brick to the back of the head sounds like a plan.

I like this one.

Way to drop that bomb!

Yesssss

WOW!! Quick and right to the point! Thanks for a fun read!

Short, too the point and brutal. I bet the guy got the message as did the cheating slut.

Absolutely fucking awesome.

Buuurrnnn

I think I've read this one before but if not 5-stars. That is unusual for me, I don't think 750-word stories are enough of a story to convey enough content to tell the whole story. This came as close as any I have read.

I loved this! Needs a second part to detail the aftermath. Lol

On second thought, I have a vivid imagination!

That was one of the more enjoyable 750 word entries I've seen here. The derision and threats from the son played out beautifully. I'll return to this one often. Five stars and favorited.

Please submit more.

This story prove one doesnt need thousands of words to create a gem.

How I missed this I have no idea.

This is the kind of thinking out of the usual box that we need more of around here, quite honestly.

a serious clever twist! Big 5 STARS

Flow Excellent

Grammar very good

Story Excellent

Very Innovative

Excellent First story

How did I miss this one? What a good son! Watching out for the family! Funny, I would have thought that his mom would have been doing that? 5🌟 - TANSTAAFL

I don't like short stories much. and I prefer some sex details. But this title caught my eye.

Neat. A five.

Nice!

Just stumbled across this…what a gem! In fact, so good that it BEGGED to be more than a 750 word tale. So desperately needed at least one more paragraph of her and Graham’s reaction!

.

5 *****!

What a great story, totally different than any other, hard to do.

Good premise. Poor execution. Story disjointed no flow to the action. It feels like a quick sketch, not a complete story.

Gutsy move by the kid. Good for him (bad for her)

Sounds like it will work, F**k her. Beat his ass to a crippled mess.

Yaaay!

LWlurker

I hope Graham isn't allergic to bricks upside his head. If he is he should start running and never look back.

What a stud, getting a free lunch out of it as well.

Glad to see you writing a reality story. I hope that readers of most of the genres on Literotica realize they are reading fantasy. Better to have an open group marriage that is happy and actively responsible to their parenting duties and joys, rather than a standard 2-person couple with tawdry sneaking and lying and shirking obligations of parenting. Good luck on that, too.

Mama didn't raise this guy; he's his dad's son.

An easy 5🌟 to one of the best flash stories in LW.

No need for a follow up- all that needed to be said was already laid out.

I would be proud to have a son like that or a friend. You can tell who raised that boy and it wasn't the wife. Good story and well told.

Tight, with a powerful message. Awesome. 5*

Damn! I have been there. Sort of.

I was tha Hub, whem my son discovered my wife. But instead of telling me, he kept silence. Son feared that I would divorce the bitch, thus he and my daughter woul be in the center of the storm.

Almost by chance, I found out 10 years after the five-year'long affair was over.

Super compact and full of energy. Well done - 5* all day long.

It doesn't get any better than THAT ... if you are Son. Not sure if it sux more if you are Mom, or Graham. Graham is out of one supper, and probably Sweetie’s supper as well! He has also paid for two more and the pussy-percentage tonight is a negative number. And for a REALLY long time with Sweetie. Nah ... I’ll go with Sweetie. If Andrew-Son plays it cool, she will be on tenterhooks until Son goes to college (far away). Nor des that mean he won’t get drunk at a frat-rush party, forget who talked Dad into getting him a new ‘Vette, call and clue Old Clueless in!

5* of course!

Brick too easy

Unless 2 of them with balls between

Are you any relation to JimBob ?? 1* of course.

Reading again, this really good story. Haven't seen anything else from you, hope you didn't buy into Lue's anti BTB garbage. She would contend that the kid's mother is just having an innocent, little affair with no harm done to anyone.

3 people, one scene, plenty of dialogue, just missed a good twist at the end. 5*

Cheating caught punished and

Dude is really going to get it

No children and no grandchildren

YES

People like me want the ending to be, husband kicks his cheating ass out and kids do not talk to her. The man ends up in the hospital from a so-called accident. Now, this is the ending.

I'm confused that there are so many stupid people have survived to adulthood. This airhead is probably confused when he tries to tie a shoe.

Instead of protecting these useless dimwits, we should allow Nature and "Survival Of The Fittest" to rule.

⭐ + ⭐ + ⭐ + ⭐= 4

I am amused by those who NEED the story finished. It is finished, and so are the cheaters. Lover boy will spend his time jumping at every sound and shadow. Mommie dearest will be nonexistent in her family. In the words of the late great " 'Nuff said "

This story confuses me.Okay the woman is obviously having an affair but what happens next?

as what to expect, how, why but not when wishing both to have a great day, haha TK U MLJ LV NV

Is it the season for partial stories, writing half a scene at best.

You write well enough, so give yourself time and put together a full story.

And who ends up paying.

Really though, if the father is that clueless and the marriage is that shallow, tepid, and distant, what's the loss? The son and rest of the family are Much better off without her. Let her go. There's Plenty of good women looking for a good family.

Since there's so many of the commentariat who desire a follow-up chapter, rather than doing the usual BTB (having the Bitch or the Bastard Burned), have the Boy Burned instead. (Murder is always perfectly acceptable in a LW story.)

It turns out that the Bastard is a really bad one and he calls on all his evil henchmen to cause the son to disappear forever. He explains to his lady friend that he's allergic to bricks to the back of the head. (Don't forget, you should always include the motive. You forgot to include the Martian Slut Ray in the first chapter.)

Continue with the monologue style. They thought it worked well. Graham didn't say anything in the first chapter, he's been storing it all up for the second one.

That should keep them happy.

Lue

To the point.

very enjoyable, now please add a 2nd part to finish it up maybe say be waiting in the parking lot with my tire iron.

Exactly how they should be treated. Hope his father was liquidateing all assets to cash and his boys names. Refi the house to the hilt and the three of them walk away from her. Then she would be free to fuck and suck as many guys as she wants

Loved it!

you are going to get some crap responses but good story and I enjoyed

A bit of a stretch for LW catagorie,

but we've seen that before and that's not the problem.

The problem is we know nothing about the husband.

So though the idea and plot are good,

a big piece is missing.

4 out of 5 from me.

The kid had savvy.

Oh Yeah! The first 750 word story to hit a 5 for me. Nicely done.

"Buckeye Fan"

Please don't listen to Lue. She is just terrified that there will be more of her dreaded BTB stories. I think the much maligned commentariat has made their thoughts clear on this story. We love it.

Graham is walking to his car after fucking Mom. He is jumped by Andrew, his brother and three friends. Graham has his CWL, pulls out a Sig and blows away all 5 of the delinquents. He is acquitted of any charges. Mom gets dumped by hubby. She is left with nothing and resorts to turning tricks to support her meth habit.

KB

Nice different take on a familiar story. Thanks.

A very good story...short and to the point...5* (4* for the story and one more star for the pseudonym...)

...enjoyed the read. Very clever. 5 stars thanx!

Loklie

Good originality. Well crafted dialogue.

Good read

Five dude

The son taking action instead of the father. Nice approach. Well written.

5*s

Perfect monologue, complete with teen sarcasm.

Nicely delivered message.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I like that kid! He already does the talk and walk of a real man. Needs a follow up story.

Really well done. This could even go another chapter or two if you wanted. Well done

There are commenter requests for you to do further episodes of this story. What you have given us here was good and clever; having the son reacting to the infidelity rather than the husband, and using the monologue style, was different from most offerings in the Loving Wives category.

Doing a follow-up story in response to the LW commentariat, rather than a second chapter already planned by the author, is rarely satisfying for them or (from personal experience) for the author.

Lue

Ps: Your biog notes are uninformative. When a new author with an interesting approach to stories makes a submission I, for one, like to know a little about the things that influence that author. Perhaps a note or two please?

Great

I'm not a fan of all the 750 word stories, but this one works for me.

@Anonymous "Great!" - I'm not entirely sure that the story was made up or not. Either way it works as a nice threat/promise!

Anti MM?

nicely done 5 stars

Than adults give them credit for...… loved it... Thanks

Excellent! I enjoyed the monologue. I salute your creative trip through the LW minefield of anonymous comment.

Love that kid!

Good kid. His dad will be very proud. Graham should run. Otherwise his life is going to be short. Good story.

5*

Very good - 5 stars for this different take on the old theme.

She may be a lousy, cheating wife, but somehow she managed to instill good values into her son.

That was original and great! I wish I'd thought of it, but I didn't and you did. Good job! I loved the monologue as well as the subtle and not-so-subtle demeaning of Graham. Thank you for sharing that one.

Nicely done with a new twist I have not seen on loving wives. More please.

You also brought a cheated son into the mix and I really appreciate the sentiment.

It felt good.

Obviously didn’t do a very good job of raising her son. Such disrespect.

And a boy that age wouldn’t have a clue to do that. And he is sorely mistaken about sentencing in this day and age. He would be classified as an adult and sentenced to a long life.

Great way to open your writing portfolio.

That was awesome

Now I want to see how it ended

I liked it. Left me wondering If Mom got the hint. I guarantee Sailing did. If putting a face to the abstract “family” didn’t bring out the guilt, the thought of meeting 5 of Andrew’s friends brought out the fear.

Seriously smart kids, a little bit of research regarding minors & assault and BANG, problem goes sideways for dear old mom. LOL

Well written!

So far I've read one that I considered an actual story. The rest, like this one, are just vignettes of a story. I like the premise of this and the writing is okay, it's just too bad the writer chose to limit what could have been a good story, to just a few words.

BTB!

Realistic consequences for a highly probable situation. It's great to read a BTB flavored story that's not over the top yet highly possible in today's social environment.

Thanks, 5's from me.

i d like to know what the mother and graham are thinking now

5 stars 10000 hardons and the beginning of an orgasm

I read a lot of stories on this site and this story was different and fun to read. You did good.

Funny and unique. I like the way the son just takes over the illicit lunch and blows “mom” and her cheating ways into the open, using a “friend” as a cover story. He basically runs down her slutty life and tells her how it’s going to be now that he and his Dad know—as well as warning mr. boy toy what his future entails for fucking around with a Mom and wife. You’ll probably have a bunch of readers begging/demanding a sequel (as a bunch of us love to watch the cheating bitch squirm through the breakup), but this is just right. I hope you post again soon!

no how about the rest of the story. I would love to here about Grahamm's reaction (money or not).

Very unusual angle and great economy of words.

Great first story. I hope you continue to write more. Good luck to you.

All I can say is write a lot more.

It is so much fun cheating...ha!

Nice spin on an old gem. Solid.

That could have scored better with a title like ... "The Last Time I Spoke to Mom" or "My Last Conversation with Mom".... and the whipped cream on top would have been dumping the contents of both lunches in the cheaters laps, or maybe on their heads.... just as a simple demonstration of the future for both of them.