tagHumor & SatireSophie's Diary

Sophie's Diary


October 1. Got the modelling contract from Morry and Auntie Flo said I should keep a diary cause I would be meeting lots of famous people, stars and lords and stuff, and when I got famous I could sell my diary for lots of money to a Sunday newspaper. So here goes.

October 2. Morry had me do a photoshoot for Freddie Wibbly which I knew how it would turn out. First he wanted underwear shots then he wanted underwear shots in the shower, and I hate that cause I hate having suds and froth in my bra, I don't care how hygenic it is. Then Fred came out with rubber boots and other rubber stuff and Brittania's helmet - big yawn - and he said he wanted me to be a symbol of British naval power, it is for a Rum calendar he said, all you have to do is stand under the nozzle with these togs on. It sounds a very Rum calendar to me I told him. We have been through all this before, Freddie, and I have told you I don't do any kinky stuff at your fees so get knotted, you have got what you paid for. He just went a funny colour and started packing up his camera and things and after that I didn't get a word out of him. Some men are pathetic.

October 5. Another shoot, more underwear and stuff, and Morry said I was not to worry about money as the check was in the post. Then on my way out there is a very smart older guy in a shiny dark suit just getting out of his Roller. Hello, he said, looking at my shiny boots, don't I know you? Well, they all say that, but he sounded sincere and I could not take my eyes off of his beautiful Roller. My name is Mr Harold. I told him my name was Sophie and he said well what about lunch Sophie and I said well what about it as I usually go to Chubbys for a sandwich and he said a lovely girl like you needs feeding up, and I said OK I'm game and he said well let's go then and we got in the Roller where the upholstery tickled my fingers but it were nice. And we went off to a fish restaurant called Sharks and all the waiters knew Mr Harold and they gave us a glass of bubbly on the house. Then I had halibut and chips he had a lobster. I was beginning to fall a little bit in love with him because he had these dreamy eyes and anyway I was getting a little bit tiddly on the wine.

After that me and Mr Harold got back in the Roller again and I felt I was in a dream cruising along in this beautiful Roller, it was a kind of duck egg blue inside. Is it really true you can hear the clock ticking I said to him? If there is nothing else going on he said and could hear a twinkle in his voice and I thought hello here is one for the diary. In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought and I gave his knee a playful squeeze. You're a naughty boy I said but I like you, which it was sort of true. He grinned showing teeth of perfect whiteness and I felt a terrific stirring in my lions. Well when we got to his apartment which was all polish wood and old furniture and rugs and we had not hardly step inside the door and hardly got my leather jacket off when Mr Harold switched the light on and grab me by the wrist and swung me round. His hands were strong but manly. I realised my heart was beating like a big hammer as he pressed me to him but something enormous and hard was keeping us apart. Oh I'm sorry it's my mobile he said and he flung it across the room like somebody in a film. His face had gone a funny colour like Freddie Wibbly.

It sounds awful I know but I could feel my proud assets thrusting and turning against the thin cotton of my blouse which for a moment I did not think he was going to rip it off but then he did and a button flew off and hit me in the eye. He was very tender for a minute or so and he took off my bra and stroked my breasts then with a cry he leapt on me and together we went down on the rug which had Chinese figures on it holding funny umbrellas. It would look nice in my mum's bathroom as she got towels in colours that would match nice.

I said wait and I will take my skirt and my boots off but he said not to bother as young women in boots turned him on and with that he tore my tights and pulled off my panties ripping them. He said he would buy me lots of new ones after and then tries to push his big tool right in but I am so unexpecting I am all tight and he says Sophie are you a virgin and I said probably and he said then I will be gentle with you it being your first time - which it weren't of course. So he gets up and pulls me to the bedroom which is bigger than my flat all of it. He throws me on the bed and gets a protective from a drawer - one of them pink ones with knobs on. He told me what he was going to do to me with his tool and that I would love it once he got it right in and made big pushes and I was to say if he were hurting and he would stop and I thought just get on with it you silly sod, but I didn't say it as it were nice being sexed by a real gentleman.

It were like a funny echo in my head where I could hear myself shouting don't stop now ooh Mr Harold that is fabulous, ooohahhooh. He was very arduous and me shouting seemed to make his ardour more. I don't remember all of it but he was doing me really good, sort of like a dance quick quick slow. After we stopped and he lit a cigar and he asked me if I had ever thought about what I'd be doing 2011. I told him, you are as bad as Freddie Wibbly and I would never do any funny positions with numbers like 69 and stuff as I was a nice girl and he said he could see that and did I mind not been a virgin any more. I rolled over and went off to sleep. Honestly, two of them in one week not counting Morry groping me on the stairs in his place.

October 6. I woke up in this big bed with black silk sheets but Mr Harold had gone. He left me a note to say he knew what I wanted for breakfast but he had took it off to work, cheeky sod.

Looked round his place and all this expensive stuff which Mr H said had been owned by some ever so famous people so that's why they are called antiques.

Lots of books and magazines full of sexy doings and bondage and stuff. It is funny how men can be so tasteful about some things - silk pajamas and sheets and luxury rugs and that and then spoil it all for women with a careless word or picture. But there was also a little package with my name on it and I opened it and inside there was a bunch of money for new underwear and tights and a gorgeous little silver necklace with tiny little miniature things on it like a locket with a picture of Mr Harold and a tiny little whistle which if you blow it is a sound too high for the human ear to hear. I thought it was the loveliest thing I had ever seen with a sweet note from Mr Harold saying to leave my number and so I left it.

October 8. Still no check from Morry so I called him on his mobile. He said it were the fault of the terrible post office and he would send another one but I said I would call round for it and he said hang on I won't be here until Thursday.

October 10. Nothing from Morry so I went shopping and I bought a bra to replace the one that got ruined in Freddie Wibbly's shower, that's one thing about men they don't understand fabrics. Then I went home. I was sitting by the phone painting my toenails when Mr Harold rang. I was nearly crying I had been missing him so much and he came round and personally collected me in the Roller. I hope the neighbours were watching.

This time we went to a place called the Gay Lord and I thought hello this is a surprise but it turned out there was no gays it was just a very nice Indian restaurant but was too excited to eat nearly. Then we went to his place in the Roller and he said I was a beautiful body and he would like to cover me with ice cream and lick me all over and he would one day only just now he was too full of curry.

October 13. Mr Harold said I was not to use the Mr no more as we were real friends now and he brung me a box with fabulous red leather boots with very high heels made to hide the legs all the way up and there's me thinking I had good legs and I said how did you know the size and he said he looked at my other boots and my legs would look even better with these on and he would tie up all the laces tight up the front and he did. All down the street people stared and with those heels Harold had to hold me to stop me falling on my arse in the gutter.

When we get to his place he shows me this special little bag with gadgits in, there was one like an electric potato scrubber I seen once in an exerbition. Harold switched it on and it made a funny buzz and then he brung me to 7 Heaven with it. I think I must have slept for a while after that, then I woke up and there was Harold looking into my eyes. I want that scrubber again I said to him. Funny he said I was just thinking the same. I think we have got a lot in common me and Harold.

October 12. Rang Morry and left a message on his answerphone where is my fucking check you bastard.

Harold sent his chauffeur round in the Rolls with two beautiful presents, a bottle of pink champagne and a elephant's foot umbrella stand with an engraved silver bit round the edge. My Aunty Edna had one once but nothing like so beautiful.

Harold's chauffeur is called Moose and he is so big he frightened me but we sat and had a cup of tea and when we got talking it turned out he was a really nice person and very loyal to Harold who gave him this job when he got out of prison for something he never done. I asked him about the terrible scar on his face and he said he got it rescuing a little old lady who had been attacked by a crocodile.

Harold left a letter with the presents saying he has gone to see his father who lives in a place called Sicilly - which I looked for on a map and is an island in the Mediterranean – and he would not be back for four whole days. After Moose left I just sat and cried and cried.

October 13. Morry rang me dead upset said he thought of me as the daughter he never had and he did not like getting wounding messages like that and I would for definite get a check next two days.

October 16. Harold picked me up in the Roller and it were lovely. Harold wasn't hungry so we went straight to his super place and I got the boots on like he asked and some long gloves he bought for me from Italy but I told him I couldn't bend my knees in the boots to mount him on top like he asked. So he gives me this wooden thing and he says I'm to paddle him first on his bare arse and he is shouting harder harder and his tool is getting bigger and bigger all the time. Then he leans me against this grand piano that he says once belonged to someone ever so famous and he is looking at me and licking his lips. Then he shouts Sophie and goes right in me with his giant tool and I'm gasping and my arse is up and down on the piano keys so it sounds like one of those modern classical musics you hear sometimes on the radio by some guy with a foreign name.

Then we have a rest and drink some bubbly and Harold takes some pictures with his digital camera and I say I get a big fee for having my picture took and he says his big fee is coming right up and carries me to the bed. He says he is going to give me an orgasm and I said after and he laughs and says no right now. So I have him down on me for a big kiss and I say this is real fucking fun init and he says the way I do it is so I say do me good Harold darling. And he does and I am banging the bloody boots on the bed and screaming oooahhooh Harold darling don't stop oooahhooo. Oh I love him so much and he really does fancy me but I know it is something a man don't like to say in words. It's a man thing.

October 17. Got Morry on his mobile phone but he was on his way to see his granny that's very sick but I will get a check soon as he gets back. I said you told me your granny died last year and he said that's because she is so sick.

October 18. Harold asked why I was crying and I told him about Morry. Harold was very sympathetic and said he would go personal to see him and sort it out. He is just so caring so I made us a sandwich to show I could be good in the kitchen as well as in the bedroom, then while he was drinking a coffee I asked him to stroke my tits but really he liked stroking the boots better which he likes me to wear when I'm in his place. He said just looking at me and his tool was standing up like a flagpole. So I got him on the chaise-long thing that once belonged to someone ever so famous.

Love me like crazy Harold darling I was saying and I got on top which like I say weren't easy in them boots I can tell you. But like he asked me I sucked and licked and as soon as his huge erection was in me he ejected with a wooosh and I screamed you fucked really good that time Harold darling which was true. Because he went that funny colour they do and looked like he was passing out.

October 25. Harold gave me a check from Morry today with a lot extra because of the delay. I gave Harold a kiss and said I was so grateful to him and he said no he should be grateful to me because I had given him a Unique Business Opportunity. Harold said he had bought the modelling agency from Morry after the awful accident. Morry was showing Harold and Moose out when he had accidentally slipped on the stairs and fallen three floors. It was awful and Moose had to call an ambulance. Morry kept asking who would run the business while he is in the hospital and Harold said he would buy it off him to save him all the worry. I said I would send flowers to the hospital and Harold smiled and said I had a heart of gold but I said then he had too. He is just so kind and caring.

October 29. A photoshoot for Harold with Freddie Wibbly who tells me Morry is out of intensive care and when he is better is moving to the Costa something in Spain. Harold asked me to wear the long lace-up boots, gloves and a black corset thing and a mask and holding a long whip. It is so exciting, it is for a poster to go on the front of Harold's new sporting club Kinky Boots and the best part I am to be one of the hostesses which Harold says is like modelling but better with social relations. I nearly fainted when he told me. I am such a lucky girl. So I will get a chance to meet famous people and have lots to put in my diary.

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