All Comments on 'Cooper Family Pride Pt. 01'

Please leave me feedback! I'm nearly done with part 2 already. It's the same length as this installment. I like this retarded, little story. And feel free to offer suggestions too. If you're interested in beta reading, let me know. Thanks again!

I don't normally laugh when reading on this site, but that was great. 5 stars all the way - keep it up :-P

First of all, this is an extremely well written story thus far with no noticeable typos. The dialogue is pretty good, and even made me laugh a couple of times. The length is impressive, and it's largely an enjoyable read. The only suggestion I have is that the descriptions of the women could use a little more detail. Not much, but maybe some bra sizes, hairstyles, skin tone, etc. It also feels like you could do a bit more detail on the sex scenes, but they're not bad as it is. They just seem like they could be a little better. Keep up the great work!

Really quite enjoyable. Looking forward to the next installment!

This is such a ludicrous , hilarious take on the old bullied teen revenge trope. There's a very fine line you had to walk here, keeping it hot to read but layering in the deeper aspects before the climax - Lori confronting Danny. That was a riveting sequence.Seeing her change and her character slowly revealed was really well done. As crazy as it is, Greg really is likeable - that pep talk whiteboard sequence was just one of many delightful scenes that you can picture as a sort of twisted sitcom scene. I hope him and Lori get together.

This story is brilliant and ridiculous - please keep it going. Looking forward to part 2.

I love this story. I was in a very bad mood and this story turned my day around. I laughed so hard when Jason sang the big butt song, that I literally cried. Wonderful story line and very well written. I am looking forward to part 2.

But as we approached page 7, it was the same thing over and over and over. And Danny went from a basically nice guy to a mean, twisted and evil person.

You want to change them? Fine. You want to embarrass Jason and his dad? I get it. You want revenge on a girl who obeyed her dad? I’ve seen worse. But turning them into retards and destroying their lives?

He’s worse than Jason ever was and i hope to see him pay the piper.

Iv read this and really got into the story. It’s brilliantly written and just sucks you in so you have to keep reading. Can’t wait for the further instalments.

This is great, it has lots of sexy parts but the best is that it has some of the funniest shit I ever read in an erotic story format. Please keep this going. Thanks

I liked the humour with the added bonus of sex!

Keep it up Sir.

I'm a MC story fan but normally not a big fan of the sudden powers variety (I like the struggle) however you have made this work. I'm hoping the secret for the Mom is she is submissive. I loved the Novelist and am loving this. Looking forward to the next installment. The only issues I saw was at least one times you used the wrong name for your characters (calling one character by the other name) and used his instead of her. Not a big thing.

I must say I'm really impressed. I usually don't like over-the-top stories. Exaggeration is definitely not my thing. Yet this piece got to me in a big way.

It's damn funny. It's really hot. And the part when his mother confronts him is what every mind control story should have, a little bit of a reckoning.

Can't wait to read the next part, and thank you.

Has a bit of everything and that makes for a great story.

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the next part.

I'm glad this hasn't gone completely into "evil" territory, it's sexy and fun and was very enjoyable to read

I loved in spite of myself. It had much more noncon than I usually enjoy, but it was very funny - and a fresh exploration of old themes. I hope you keep Danny just on the right edge of morality, even if he steps across it from time to time. The blackboard and coach's jacket were especially good.

Fantastic, can’t wait for the next part.

I absolutely love this story! Hope you continue writing and hope the next part comes soon!

i just put my comment in the title please continue. pleaseplease ?

The funniest story I have read on here for a long time !! Cant Jason go to football practise in Full lace lingerie - stockings suspenders thong lacy bra etc with a butt plug in situ ?? Sure the other jocks would appreciate it especially when he offers BJs all round !!!

...and I'm giving this 5 stars. It's just too fucking funny.

"Fuckface was a supervillain intent on destroying his mom's butthole!" I nearly lost it there. Pure comedic gold. And with the cheering routine, I decided to just 5 star it early.

The initial disclaimer almost scared me off. I'm not into MM or bi-curious stories, but I love a good story where the bully gets his comeuppance. And you seem to be doing a MC well. The control needs to be built up, so people accept what they are doing. In most stories, someone is given a command, and it's never questioned or thought about. Here, there are consequences.

I don't remember ever laughing while reading a story on Literotica, but damn was this ever funny! Well done!

Love, love, love it!! Please keep it up!!

making a new story ??? You never finish your previous stories and this one is going to be just like that.

Please finish this series, and not make me wait months for part 2

It's silly but an enjoyable read by the same token, it is in the Mind Control section after all.

This is on of the best and rediculous stories ive read. Amazing keep going asap

Hilarious and hot please keep writing.

I really enjoyed this story and can't wait for part 2

This story was almost as good as "The Novelist", so how about a sequel to this story while working on a follow up to "The Novelist" some time next year? I loved "The Novelist", and can't find anything that comes close to it in length and content.

plz more!!

This was definitely out there. So far out, I needed the Hubble telescope to read read it. But it was certainly a fun read! You need to follow up.

Thank you, PublicD. I laughed pretty hard reading your comment. I've enjoyed all the comments so far. I fear part 2 won't garner the same support but I'm doing my best. I'll submit it next week for sure. And I agree it's definitely far out there and absurd but it's fun to write. I'm running out of euphemisms for dick, pussy, fucking, etc. I've gotta think bigger.

Ludicrous, funny, and sexy! What more could you ask for?

I haven't enjoyed a story this much in ages. I was cracking up on a regular basis, and it was fucking hot too. Can't wait for part 2!! Kudos to the author, this is incredibly well written.

Best I have read in a long time !

LOVE THIS

as unbelievable as most mind control stories, but the timeline and layering is a great move.

A well crafted story. The whole bang on the head was a bit of a let down, but the story developed nicely from there. Pretty hot in places too.

9/10 !

Brilliant story, love it!

and push it so far it becomes a something unlike the initial concept.

So extreme it's beyond humourous.

.

My initial idea for this story was always an mc storyline where a kid fucks his bully's mom. Not an original concept. Then I thought it'd be fun to have the dad there amd mindfucked too. When I started writing there was just so much room to be absurdist. After one or two jokes i couldnt help myself. It wanted to be funnier and totally out there. Then it just became its own thing.

As for the anonymous commenter... I couldn't agree more. I hate having him get his powers. It's my least favorite part of every mc story. The relic or accident or old witch or whatever. I tried writing it as if he had the power already when I started. But it just didn't seem right. So eventually I added that part and tried to tie it into his bullying. Maybe way down the line when I'm finished I'll go back and fix it again, but something tells me I'll never be happy with it.

As for part 2... It's coming soon. It moves into the school arena a little bit and isn't as funny as part 1 imo. But it definitely has its moments. It's a little more mean spirited than part 1 at this point. I'm not sure how I feel about that. But Greg gets his rematch and that turned out great I think.

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the support.

I have read loads of the stories but must admit yours is fantastic ,the whole lay out from start to finish. Just keep them coming like this.

I thought it was a unique funny story. Thanks!

Like it! thanks for writing it. I did laugh out loud a few times, especially at things Jason says. Constructive suggestions: the first and second episodes at the Cooper house seemed kind of repetitive. Maybe could have been done as just a single episode. Also the introduction was a little slow for me. Like more sex/suggestiveness early on. Not sure it was really necessary for Mandy to be portrayed so positively in the early part -- might be more enjoyable if she had been stuck up. Including the mother at the end seems unnecessary, at least for now. Some of the other uses he has made of his power earlier would have been interesting to read about. The question of what else he could be doing is a little skimmed over. Seems he could do much more with his powers. Why is the need for revenge so very great? Not really clear.

Excellent story. Keep building. Mom and Danny should definitely be together at some point.

I nearly choked on my drink at the Jason sounding like an emu part. Great work! Thanks!

Mind Control story with Revenge as the Motivating factor. Jason cant do shit. it would serve him right if Danny got his girl & sister. along with Mother.

....can't wait for the next part. Keep up the good work!

I hope that Danny will take Beth jasons girlfriend as well in the next part, and maybe like very sexy black teacher or something. Maybe u can continue this story past that even, make Danny the fuckvillian he deserves to be and the one we need

I liked it, and I like the direction your heading.

Don't want to influence your flow, as I can see you have some nice twists coming up and if I'm correct mom's going to have an impact on Danny's direction whilst still getting his revenge, a nice balance with his love life and his need to dominate, and her tendency to submit / switch a little.

Oh .... And welcome back, I have missed you and your wonderful writing style ......

Please stay a while.

MillDrew :)

I find the concept of mind control ridiculous, but this story caught my attention. It somehow made me laugh enough to go along for the ride. Exceptionally well done.

I'd give this 10 Stars if I could. Everything is perfect. And I like that Lori is somewhat accepting of her son's actions.

What a funny story! This rocks, can't wait for next chapter.

You've got a great writing style, and this is just the right balance between funny and hot. Looking forward to the next chapter!

As a Mindcontrol genre fan I read alot of stories and this is one of the best, no doubt.

I strongly encourage you to continue ( in fact I can't wait :))

I love the way his mom gets into it, too.

Damn it I do not usually read such long stories but this one really got me and I want more. please write the second chapter. This is one of the best stories I've seen

please continue

That is one of the Funniest stories I have ever read.

Hilarious and horny in equal measure! Can’t wait for the next instalment.

I like the way you have planned this and made justifications for the character. I am looking forward to the next instalment with baited breath

I loved every twisted , sordid detail. Please continue.

So far the best well written story I have read

How about having Danny, Lori, and Mandy dominate Greg, Jason, and others. If Jason was fisted by his mother or sister Greg got the same treatment, they might run off or Jason and Greg moving into Danny and Lori's home, while Danny and Lori take over the Cooper home and dominate those who have done them wrong, maybe have Danny's father move in with Greg and Jason instead of leaving him in South America. Maybe have Lori dominate Libby during the day and be a submissive to Danny and her daughter. Or have Danny and Mandy develop a relationship like Tom and Alexis in the Novelist series and make it their goal to get even with those who have done Danny, Mandy, and Lori wrong, including girlfriends, football players, and neighbors.

If America had a President that had Danny's gift and that of Tom's, what would politics be like? Plus, as a few authors have written in their books: "Diplomacy is about on nation fucking another," that would be a great story, especially the way Americans are treated right now worldwide.

Having been bullied a few times in my life, I really appreciate the fantasies of getting the opportunity to take revenge. I therefore love this tale.

My only issue is with Lori. She swings into line rather quickly for someone whose morality causes her to work out how to overcome the suggestions in her mind. It points out to me how the Coopers could as well, especially Jason. He isn't benefiting from these experiences in any way, just like Lori prior to the last round of the bet. Sure, his conditioning is reinforced with each encounter, but the frustration will only build until he either breaks his condition -as did Lori- or he just plain goes insane and lashes out wildly. Either would be bad for the continuance of the story.

Assuming you get to Part 2, I'd like to see Lori's internal conversion during the last round of the bet explained in some logical manner. To me, it's the weakest part of the story, and it's been too good to lose it over something which could be fixed easily.

I'm not exaggerating when I say I've never read a better story on this site, you had me enraptured from start to finish. At some points poignant, at others, hilarious. You had me quite literally laughing out loud at so many points throughout. The lines you had Mr. Cooper deliver were sheer gold. I had to drag myself away from this story just to finish some necessary chores. I was overjoyed to see that this was 15 pages long, at least on my tablet! You'll have to forgive any incoherence on my part. I got a bit too overexcited reading this and had a bit too much to drink, in fact I made this account just to post this. I hope with utmost sincerity that you continue to share your gift of story telling with us. I'm in such a pleasant mood after reading that, truly, thank you.

That's an excellent story, very well told (so far I hope).

Very well written. I'm looking forward to reading more.

I really loved this story, amazingly written, Easily the best I've read on this site.

The best story I have read in a long time

I get why you might want a change of pace, and I'm enjoying this story very much. But I do hope you get back to The Diary before too long. That has the potential to be amazing itself.

Nearly the best story i've read in a long time. I'm in love with it, goddamn. I look forward to the next parts. Just keep writing this shit kkkkk thank you

If you focus more on school bullies, you could have the football players all get anally fisted by the cheerleaders in the Library and have Danny nail the cheerleaders and girl's basketball team later on in the girl's locker room with the coaches not knowing it or having the winter sport's bullies get tortured just as bad, but by the girl's basketball team and the cheerleaders or the female's who are in the same position Danny was before he got the coopers.

Cant help but wait another chapter of this all time fav stories, please update it

Great story. I realy enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to part 2

Can't wait for the next part to come out !

Cant wait till the next part great story

One of the best saga's I've read. Hope you continue this. Would like to see Mom "come clean" about her past. Would be interesting to see Danny and his Mom move in with the Cooper's and take over. Mrs. Cooper could service them both.. A lot of ways this could go.

I couldn't stop laughing aloud so many times.

It was a very good story I was intrigued throughout my day on think about getting back to the story so yeah it was very good

Five stars! Just plain nasty.

Continue sim, com certeza. Eu fiquei preso a leitura. Texto muito bem escrito, organizado, racional, não se deixar levar para o exagero e é coerente, se desenvolvendo na velocidade certa. Parabéns!

I'm waiting the next chapter. Excellent work, funny, dark, absurd at moments and erotic as hell. Keep going.

What if Danny were to get a pep rally for the senior class where the victims of the bullies turn the tables on the bullies and then the school staff and administrator who likely turned a blind eye to it? or if Danny humiliated his tormentors by impregnating the mothers and sisters and the teacher's play things?

The wanderings of a sick sick depraved mind, please don't stop I love it, Lib isn't the only one who's addicted

Please make a part 2 and 3 aND so on

I'm not ashamed to admit that, as I read this story, I kept laughing. And jerking off. That's the first time I've done that.

Impossible to keep an erection while laughing so much. No regrets hahaha. You were not wrong about it being over the top. Loved it and hope to see more.

Well thought out story.

Love it 5 Stars.

Part 2?

Thank you so much for posting. I know that it takes time, effort, and courage to write.

Minor editing flaws.

I was genuinely laughing to the point of tears. I've never read you before but now must read all your other stories. You have real verve to your writing. A joy to read.

Hopefully he expands his harem to not only include his mother, Lori, but also Jason's girlfriend Beth. Furthermore I was expecting a gay story line between Jason and his friend.

I'm eagerly anticipating the second installment.

evil nasty hate-filled male that I have ever read about - just WOW!

You said part 2 was nearly ready to post last year, any updates?

That was freaking hilarious! And hot in a weird, twisted, perverted (but still good) way. I haven't laughed that hard at a story in a long time. Keep it going!

I knew from the beginning the punch line was coming. This really puts you over the top, other mc stories will have hard time keeping up to this. Watch and see if some don't start changing their writing style.. Great write. Keep up the story, we're all ready the great continuation.

What's the estimated date of arrival on the sequel(s)?

Love it, could have been 10 stars.

Sometimes when you take off the restraints of traditional writing, you end up with something truly fantastic. I love it that you have excellent plot development and writing skills while still working with a completely over the top, hilarious concept. Fantastic work. Loved it.

I love it. I have read so many control stories and this by far has been the best.

I just spent 4 hours reading this thing without a break and never lost wood. Without pharmaceutical help. Pretty close to a personal best (worst?) iirc. Pretty great. Silly, yes, but I don't give a fuck. Keep going with it! Nothing wrong with posting a story that's a little over the top or out there.

There is a reason this is in the Mind Control Hall of Fame. It should be at the top of that list.

Find a way out. Recommend Jason becomes gay, Libby is satisfied with Greg who admits defeat. Danny gets the girl, his mom, and a great position in Greg's company.