All Comments on 'Moment of Clarity'

It hits a male viewpoint perfectly, If I hadn't noted the author's name before I started, I would have thought you were male.

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This is a <b>spectacular</b> first submission!

I have no idea what the previous commenter is thinking, except he enjoyed this story, as did I! This was a very good read. Literotica has suddenly found some good new and talented writers! I will be looking for your future submissions.

A gritty, realistic story - sad in a way but full of raw emotion, cleverly handled.

Well done and thank you.

Very sad, hope husband finds love, he deserves it after living with her.

This submission represents the highest level of writing found on this site. A truly rare treat. Thank You.

You managed to quickly pull me into the story and make me care about the ending. Sadly, not every story can end well and often everyone loses. Very believable and moving.

Great story with a fantastic ending. Looking forward to more submissions from your pen/pc. LOL

Right from the start, gripping! I could relate to all of the leads. I felt theemotions, the pain, the raw nerves and jealousy. Bravo!

Very good story. It got me involved with the first few words and keep me on the edge of my seat. Unexpected twists just made it more interesting. Thanks you for your hard work and let's see more from you.

loved it, great story

to more of your stories. Hope you can keep up thestandard you set here.

Oh so sad,but a marvelous story! Those of us who have stayed happily married(50+ years for me) are SO lucky. Thank you for your hard work.

Fantastic first story. Would love to see more from you. Thanks

Compelling writing. I look forward to future stories. drmike

I'm glad I read to the end as I have to say the timeline was off-putting at first, but I wanted to see where you were going and it was a elegant story in content and emotion. I'm not a fan of the format of it, but otherwise very much enjoyed it. Very nice, I'm sure you've written other things before and just have this as your first submission here. If I'm wrong, then I'm even more impressed! In either case, I hope you post more.

Sometimes writers are compelled to write fiction and then there are real world stories. This is one of them and all of this believable and told with clarity.

This reader is looking forward to future stories and enjoyable reading.

Sometimes love ain't enough.

Hope to see a sequel with the clueless husband taking care of the reoccurring problem with Bobby!

Wow, that is some first story, it's gonna be hard to top that. But I'll be looking out for your next story. That was awesome. Well done. I hope his wife get's nothing from the divorce !

and it covered all the bases...Mancelt.

I hope for your sake it is fiction

This was a remarkable work, especially for a first. Please continue this story. We just have to know how he overcomes his slut wives behavior and his enemies attacks.

Awesome writing. Hope to read more from you in the future!

Your writing experience certainly shows in this story, and I hope that there will be many to follow on this site, even a sequel (a sure protection for Lyle would be for Diane to tell the family about who caused Bobby's injuries).

Very well written. It's sad the wife couldn't be honest with the husband and try to work them to more satisfying lovemaking but it sounds like the jerk she was screwing around with rung her bell in a special way. There are hints that her husband was a competent lover, just not her "hot Stud". That doesn't excuse her but she would probably never been as sexually satisfied with her husband. It's almost impossible to find the perfect combination of attributes in a spouse. We almost always have to settle for what we get in one way or another. Rich and good looking but poor in bed. A sexual god but not an empathetic listener. You have to accept who you have, who you have chosen. Her fault is in not learning that lesson. She wanted it all. She was greedy and selfish. It would be interesting to know, after breaking up her marriage, if she still craved sex with the jerk.

i loved this story! the interplay between the three was just right.

hard to believe this is your first. well done!

Thanks for writing the story.

I never leave comments but I must tell you that I was highly impressed with your story. You made your characters come to life with real personalities. I could actually visualize many of the scenes. The interwoven story line was very believable. I hope you didn't live this experience because it certainly appears that way. Please grace us with another.

Mr. Jim

Never put lines like this in a story: "We lived in Jacksonville, a million person Northeast Florida urban center about an hour and a half north of Palatka." A story isn't an encyclopedia entry. If in doubt, cut it out. Let the reader figure out where the story is. No one needs to know Jacksonville is an urban center.

There were a few other examples of bad writing but the whole is quite well composed.

Such a story (fact and/or fiction). This could be of my life... I JUST do not have the all facts... Yes. I am checking various situations and time lines out... A lot of water has passed under the bridge... How much mud do I want to mix into the water?

This is excellent

will add you to my list of favorites, like the format

Great stuff. Well put together. One of the best `reads` for a while.

Now go and write another!!!

Sad, but well written story about a mismatched couple. He loved her but she needed periodic hot sex in her life even if it ruined her marriage. Sad story but talented writer.

60 year old George

Probably fun to write. Great story, even wimpy guys don't have to be wimps. I think he was a little too gentle with the slut wife after finding out she had been screwing around on him for four years.

This is the first tragedy that I've read here in a LONG time that I've really liked.

You hit that one on the head. Good story. Recommend losing the newspaperish slant when filling in the background, though. Appreciate the effort you put into this story. Thanks.

Great drama! like the characters. like the plot, even the dialogue. Kudos!

You drew us in from the beginning and let us ride the emotional roller coaster to the end. Loved every minute.

This was a wonderfully crafted story. I felt that we got to know all of the parties seo well in just this short, tragic tale. Thanks for sharing it with us.

have submitted stories in the last couple of weeks. This is great. My only comment on this one (other than it may be the best story of the year) is that the guy lied about the bikers. He did not seem that stupid and it would be obvious what happens once they saw the husband. In the long run, this will make him look real bad. He also loses the "i got suckered punched" defense. It will look like he went straight up and was not the better man. Does not hurt the story, but It stands out to me as "not being right". Congrats and best of luck.

First kudos for a very well written story!

The story was a sad one brought to a head by a coniving cheating slut of a wife. I feel sorry for Lyle that he had to be kicked in the gut and brought to a dismaying reality by this despicable bitch. If she didn't love him she should have let him go a long time ago instead of humiliating him and turning him into a cuckold. She mentally emasculated him in front of her lover, friends and family, even though he loved her with everything he had. If she was not pleased with his bedroom skills she should have taught him how to tame her fire. As for Bobby he got everthing he deserved but he didn't get it soon enough! Then if he would have came back sniffing around he would have got a .45 to head.

Very sad tale indeed.

Thanks for writing!

This was a well written and emotional story. The authur certainly knows how men think. I like the way the husband went after the boyfriend and he didn't want anyone to know the husband got the better of him so he came up with the three bikers. I also noted that the wife once she saw her husbands beaten condition did not immediately call a ambulance or demand he go with her to the hospital. Maybe she wanted to stay together for her family or her children but she sure was not going to give up her boyfriend. This was a great story and told so well. All I can say is thank you for sharing this story with us.

One of the best stories in the LW category in a very long time. I like how Lyle was manly and restrained at the same time. No need to brag like Bobby. Please keep writing. You have all it takes to become one of the best writers in this site.

Oldfaithful

a hell of alot better than the winterfoxx crap

Wow, impressive. Made me feel really sad towards Lyle. But at the end he did the right thing. Just look at how much concern Diane gave to him and how much she did to Bobby. I bet at the end she will return to Bobby and I hope Lyle gets a second chance in love.

Not very eloquent, I know, but it was the first thing that came to mind after reading your story. This story has to be one of the best I've read in a longtime. Truly a work of art. The only thing that made your story stumble a little was the simile about standing on the railroad tracks at night... It just seemed a little forced. Even though it was a sad tale your writing style made it a very exhilarating read. Thank you for sharing your gift and masterpiece with us. I hope to see more of your stories.

A very good story well told

It was sad, but WOW! Truely incredible. One of the BEST in Loving Wife category.

Nicely done. I look forward to more of your stories.

It was a nice touch, that her brother was more worried about him than his W was. Says it all, and usually that is in fact what happens in a moment of clarity.

An Amazing story! We get to see what the characters are made of. Not all of it is pretty, all of them have flaws that define them. In a lot of stories, the ending is usually done pretty satisfactory, in this case, I would love to see an epilogue say between five and ten years after this incident with these questions. Did Lyle end up with that other professor who chased him mercilessly? Did he move back to Boston? Did Diane and Bobby stay together? How did the children grow up, did they resent either or both of the parents or did they take sides? How did Diane's family treat her after learning about her infidelity? Did her family finally find out what Lyle did to Bobby? And their reactions to Bobby getting his ass kick by Lyle? How about another chapter from Diane's Point of View? Still an excellent first story! Hope that your following stories are just as good.

Well written.

I can identify with the protagonist, as much as I'd hate to admit it. The outflow of emotion is as real as it gets in a story of betrayal that you'd never think can happen to you. An inspiration.

It is an amazing piece of work that speaks to many different people at the same time. It certainly gives another meaning to the title of loving wife!

personally identify with part of it, it actually was my marital experience in that same way of a wifey wantin her hubby to 'fight' for her, even similar in the way of 'settin' a scenario up with another guy hopin to get him to 'fight' the other man.

Such is life and I'm damned glad I'm long rid of her.

I think this is a very, very good story that is exceptionally well written. Keep the stories coming. There are a whole hell of a lot of people like me who are already anxiously waiting for your next story.

Not much I can add that the others have not said. You did a great job of capturing the emotional pain. Writing was wonderful. Thank you for sharing and I am looking forward to reading more from you.

I agree with nearly every other comment: This is one of the best stories in this entire category, which is all the more amazing where it's your first submission. I disagree strongly, though, regarding the numerous calls for an epilogue. This story needs no epilogue and finished exactly where it should have.

The beauty of a well written story--as here--is that the reader has enough information to fill in the blanks. For example, we know why Bobby claimed bikers beat him up--he couldn't admit it was Lyle! And we know from how the encounter ended that Bobby is, more than likely, broken. And we know how Diane's family feels about Lyle because both her father and her brother told her not to mess it all up. What more can be said? She messed it up, and we now have enough information to fill in the blanks on what follows. Finally, we know that Lyle will find love because we know he has integrity, the ability to love wholely, and he is handsome and well thought of where he works, as a result of which he will have his pick of women.

The beauty of this story is how all of this information was unobtrusively inserted so the reader could draw the logical conclusions. As shown by the (rightly) panned epilogue in Winterfoxx's otherwise incredible story, the hardest part of any story is knowing when to end it, and you have ended this perfectly.

Now I only ask that you move quickly to keep your growing legion of fans sated with future stories.

and lots of them (if not all) were positives feedback. You should make your own books/novel because you really got talent. Excellent story, thank you!

Just a quick note: Thank You for a very excellant tale of love, betreyal and a moment of clarity for all parties. It was brutal on the emotions.

I sincerely hope you have more stories for us and again Thank You for sharing your talent and skills with us.

Morefunn

everything close to perfect. I would love to see the end of that saga. There is only one but here unfortunately. Task missed. As much as I did like the story and everything, you kind of have a task here. writing something erotic. I can't see the erotic here. violance, drinking get drunk fall down no problem, humiliation or the assholes hand on the wifes tits? nothing was erotic to me. I tell you make me a boat. you present me the most wonderful car and everybody cheers for you. I say but it does not swim. But maybe you find something in chapter 2 or in a next story. thanks for a very good read.

I would love to see another chapter to this sad tale. Although it stands alone and we can use our imagination, I would love to have all the loose ends tied up. Can't wait for your next stories!!! Fantastic beginning as a writer on this site....one of the best!

Please do not write anymore. The story ends here. Thanhs, you know where to stop. We need a writer like you for this motherfucker website. The motherfucker truck/cab driver's sons like JBP, Winterfrog etc. kicked out all good writers from this website. Great keep it up, we need you.

Powerful, clear, well-written and well thought-out. A terrific story, making us all hope that you're already planning the next one! Thanks, ohio

Look, if you can write better dialog about one guy systematically destroying another guy's arm and hand, while the other guy is systematically destroying the first guy's entire conception of what his sham of a marriage was all about then go ahead and try.

Because Mr. Steel has nailed it. And I sure hope this story is in no way autobiographical, because that just ain't right.

Thank you for a superb story. Please write some more and do not make us wait to long.Thank you for the entertainment Mike from Texas.

One of the best I've read on here in quite some time. Cheers

Great job. Thanks

Loved it and think you should do an Epilogue. Showing how everyone came out after 5 years. Did Bobby get her or did she stay alone Hoping he would come Back. How did her family take it. Her Father would have been Pissed and her Brother who brought her home would be Pissed.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. It could have a continuation. RAG

Realistic! Believable! And poignant! Great story line & character development. Would like to see more of your work; perhaps even another chapter or two to expand on certain themes you worked into this piece.

We'd have liked to know what happened of them after the split. Please, consider that. Thanks.

Outstanding first effort! The Husband was the bigger man in the end. Loved her enough to let her go, but made sure she and her her boyfriend felt pain. You need to add a chapter on thr family fall out. A town that small won't stand for the wife's actions even if he's an 'outsider'. And how will the boyfriend treat him after he heals? Respect or revenge? Give us more if you will, and hope to hear more tales from you soon.

This is so much above the usual formula stories in this genre. Very believable very sad.

Great!..however Kyle needs to find a good wife and leave good life..he deserves more!

Very impressive Author. The angles were sharp, the surprises well draped, and the lifelike reality unsurpassed here.<P>

You are to be looked forward to if you continue to sustain issues credibly.<P>

Marital consequence is a great horse to ride if its done right as you did here.<P>

Irrational acts by fragile less than expected apparently normal people is just life among those who chameleon-ed most of their life but couldn't forever.<P>

Your talent & time is appreciated.<P>

With High Regard

Sad thing is the kids now get to grow up in a broken home. They didn't do anything to deserve that. DQS1 sure did write the woman's character well, though. Start with a man, then take away any sense of accountability or responsibility... [from "As Good As It Gets"]

Loved your story from the title to the end. Enjoyed how you wove back and forth in time, and the real/heartfelt emotions you captured in the dialogue.

Thank you for the effort and for sharing it!

A well polished gem. A pleasure first word to last. I look forward with great anticipation to your next submission.

While she gets a total pass? That seems a bit off.

this is the absolute best I've read.

You say this is your first story to this site. I can not wait for the next 15 or 20 so start writing. Damn this was a great read!!!!!! "THANK YOU"

Nice story with sad, intense plot. Agree with others, no epilogue. There was a bit of repetition in the first half of the story that seemed unnecessary, otherwise I have no other suggestions regarding the writing. There are at least several levels to this story. Of course, there is the cheating wife theme, to be expected in a LW story.

Then there is the idea that marrying across cultures increases the chance for marital failure. When the novelty of the relationship wears off, what's left if the partners have little in common? Even in hot relationships, sex gets a bit stale when the partners know each other well, when they have been together a long time, and when they know each other's moves because they've done it the same way over the years. At that point, actually before that point, it is important that the lovers also be friends, have lots of things in common, think similarly to each other, etc.

In this story, it is clear that Diane and Lyle have widely different cultures, and they share little in common besides the children. The "crackers" resent the educated, refined, city slicker. The English Professor city slicker exhibits barely-controlled contempt for the poorly-educated farm boy types. What astonishes me is how dense Lyle was about his wife, how it took eight years and her overt, in-your-face, public humiliation before he realized what was really going on.

A third level to this story is that of the primitive. When a man's back is up against the wall, and he feels he has little to lose, then he strikes out to prove he is still a man. Lyle decided his marriage was over and he would most likely have nothing further to do with the hillbilly people and what the hell, time to work off his rage on the man who caused his humiliation.

I think were I in that position, I would have taken the threat seriously regarding Billy's killing me slowly in the future. It would have been quite tempting to snuff out Billy's life and find a way to make him disappear, bury the evidence as they say (maybe under some of that family asphalt they kept discussing in the story). It is also of course possible Lyle would then have been caught and punished, just reinforcing the idea of how the person setting out on a course of revenge needs to dig two graves . . .

Your writing was great. It pulled me into the story like I was there. I hope to see more from you soon. Great job!

There is no doubt that this story deserves all of the praise that it has received. I really enjoyed it a great deal.<P>

But after considering the ending for awhile, I wonder how many of the LW readers realize that the hero's rationale for leaving his wife is: that he loves her so much, and he doesn't believe that he can make her happy (read that as sexually content), so he is going to release her to be free, like the birdie in the song...to find some other man who will screw her eyeballs out. Not exactly a punishment.<p>

To be honest, I also have a problem with a couple other issues as well (not just in this story but across the board with LWs): first is the concept of the woman who is frigid and lacking sexual capacity with her husband, but who instantly turns into a hot, oversexed vixen when with some other man; second, that a woman with a large extended family living locally is going to get away for FOUR YEARS with running off to have sex with Bubba every time her husband is out of town, without anyone ever unexpectedly coming over for a visit, or some other way in which these things become known and exposed in small towns. Ain't happening -- these things are always found out, and the word gets around.<p>

On the whole, though, these a quibbles with respect to an overall story that was very well done!

However, I can't get over the fact that she cheated all these years on him.

I am glad that he wasn't aware so it means he wasn't cuckolded, but, that doesn't mean she was punished any how he just walked away. At least the other bastard got a good dustup, but all in all she didn't get punished.

Great effort from you, first time here.

I do hope you will write some more happier stories in future.

A very sad story as well

about a marriage on autopilot. Diane was a woman who loved her marriage but did love her husband. After 4 years if she had wanted to fix her marriage she would tried to do so. She clearly did not respect Lyne. Sometime truth is painful and sad but it makes the best story. Outstanding first effort! I can not wait for your next offering. Thanks!

This is the classic story of a woman wanting her cake and eat to. She wanted the good husband and father the man who would treat her like a queen never cheat on her be abusive physical or mentally. and she wanted sex with her ex that she said rocked her world.

she pushed her husband too far at the party when you belittled him in front of her family and lover. I think that is when Lyle new she was cheating with the asshole.

Unlike many of the readers I would like to see a part 2. In it Diane ad mitts to her family that is was her husband who beat Bobby and why. and as a Family with out Diane they confront Bobby and tell him he got what he deserved and if anything happens to Lyle there will be hell to pay. also I would like to see Lyle hook up with someone that deserves him and there boys just love her and it just kills Diane. or possible Diane hooks up with bobby full time and she find out what she already knew what a shit he is !

Great story, very well done. Nicely woven tale

All who wish another chapter would be disappointed if it was based on reality. A boston yankee in a small southern town would not do well in any divorce settlement. Odds are any judge would somehow be related to Diane’s family. If Lyle thinks he got screwed by Diane he has yet to experience the Florida “no fault” system where most every female is treated as a hapless southern belle. It would proceed along these lines….

-Lyle can barely afford a sandwich on his teachers salary after Alimony, Child Support, maintenance, etc.

-Diane’s family rallies around her -because family is family (even more when grandkids are involved) and Lyle become the “bad guy” in their eyes.

-Bobby and Diane live together (never marry) as Bobby gets revenge on Lyle by fucking Diane and money-fucking Lyle via alimony and maintenance payments.

-Guilt turns Diane bitter who takes it out on Lyle (it cannot be her fault!) by using her parents money and small town connections to deny/delay Lyle visitation with his boys and dragging Lyle into court every time a payment or check is late.

-Lyle an honorable man, lives like a pauper to keep up the payments and legal fees in attempts to see his sons. His world is the University where he is well respected and has several romantic relationships.

-After the oldest son turn 22 and leaves the house and Mommy/Bobby’s influence, they connect with an older Lyle and realize “Dad” is not the A-hole, Mom/Bobby made him out to be.

-After the boys leave, so do Lyle’s involvement with Diane/Bobby. Without the common enemy Lyle to unite Bobby & Diane they turn on each other. Both cheat (2nd time is always easier). Bobby ends up with some bimbo trailer trash and Diane bloats out, turning so bitter no one wants to be around her and she lives alone with three cats.

Truth is stranger then fiction-this was a relatives tale-with only names being changed.

Again fine story-look forward to hearing more

Epilogue: After the divorce, he became a single dad and started dating again, drank too much for a while, attended counseling for depression and learned to crochet. She started drinking a bit, attended her own counseling sessions (for depression also not hyper sexuality problems you perv), cried some over her situation and laughed at her ex boyfriend a lot because now the "small group of bikers" was up to "every chapter of Hells Angels this side of the Mississippi River, but I got half of 'em before the rest snook up on me! And thats the truth! pthpthphtpht".

In short life continued to go on.

Sorry. No epic disembowelment of the bastard or ultra humiliation of the bitch. As if anyone ever would really do anything more than was already done. Statements were made to all the appropriate parties in the appropriate manners and ways parted as they will do in life.

<p>I thoroughly enjoyed this story. You’ve given us one the best female characterizations in this genre. Her rationale for cheating on her husband was creative, complex, and entirely plausible given the context of her family and their values. </p>

<p>It is refreshing to read a story where the adulterous wife is so completely fleshed out as a person. I enthusiastically await your next story.</p>

Fantastic first story. But another chapter or an epilogue would be fun to read. Maybe the dad does something to ease the pain like making sure his slut daughter doesn't get anything from him or her ex, maybe Bobby gets what he deserves, maybe the wife ends up just like it was described...being married to a string of losers or just having a parade of lovers moving through her house. I would like to see him with the kids though. She would be a really bad influence if she now brings Bobby into the house.

And for this one it’s the usual let down that occurs in ‘Loving Wives’ stories. Why the change in the wife's attitude? I can agree she has been messing with Bobby for a number of years, but why after all this time does she turn nasty? It would have been more logical if she had been faithful up to now and then the change in her demeanour would have some foundation.

... DanielQSteele1is a women, I don't care what the bio sez!

Very good work, totally loved the title... I cried, a bit and that means it rocked...

I wish I had written it. I'd love to see an epilogue in which she is miserable. Even without the cheating, she was just as wrong for the way she disrepected him at the party.

An amazing first story. An amazing number of comments pretty much all positive. Note also they are all fairly short. Don't mess with a great story!<P>

I have to wonder why now, after four years, she decided to take it public? Was she unintentionally forcing the issue? I also loved how her family supported Lyle and no I do not think, even if she was so inclined, that they would let her screw him over with the boys.<P>

He read it right. Even though he loves her and she loves him the marriage was going down. God, I would really love to know if she winds up with Billy. Be careful what you wish for...<P>

Thanks for sharing.

...life is a bitch...

but sad story.

I feel angry and bitter towards her on his behalf.

This wonderful story has now reached a milestone that very few LITEROTICA stories have ever reached. Only one in four thousand LITEROTICA submissions get 100 comments - you've joined this elite company. I would like to offer you my heartiest congratulations on behalf of myself and all your fellow club members.

Gabby

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