All Comments on 'The Architect'

... why this story is 8 pages long. The story ended after 2 maybe 3 pages, the rest felt like it was just tagged on.

I'm glad things worked out. The wife should take her head out of her ass.

More than a bit exagerated in using words that were not needed and details that did not help the overall story. I certainly have to agree that Debbie was very insensitive considering what happened to John's first marraige.

Good but not excellent

A fantastic story that took me through a full range of emotions. The author apparently knows his weapons as well. Keep 'em coming!!!!

The story is sort of okay, a lot of overdone stereotype stuff to my taste, but the characters are so simplistic they seem to be cartoons. There was no depth or reality to any of them. I've read other of Grey Wolf's work and I don't seem to recall such immature characters. I found myself wondering if author was trying to make a point, or maybe a joke. In either case, I missed it.

You're not a good writer grey eagle, your English is learned but not idiomatic.

Example: I would have to get she and Dave out of town

If you don't know what's wrong with that phrase....

And then your hero is very weak, takes 8 freakin pages to tell the story?

It should have been done in one page.

It was not bad, but I was diappointed in the confrontation scene. It took a long time to get to it and then the only thing we get is a monologue by the husband. I know those scenes must be difficult to write, but it seemed like once it started there was a mad rush to finish it. The only words Dave, the asshole friend, got in at all were calling the hero a "son of a bitch". Confronting the cheaters and then quickly dismissing them just leaves kind of an empty and unfinished feel to the story. If there is going to be very little to the confrontation then why spend anytime capturing it at all. Just reference that it happened and move on to the love story. theCelt always wrote the best confrontation scenes.

But thanks for sharing. I appreciated the effort.

get back when I have more time

The concealed carry section was okay, but many of the details were questionable. I have not checked so I could be wrong. If so, sorry.

Frankly, it would have made a better "Loving Wives" story if Deb DID turn out to be a slut. Instead, the story seemed to wander aimlessly searching for a conclusion.

Not your best effort. Perhaps you need an editor? All the great authors have good editors.

Instead, this reads almost like a dry documentary. Think about it: Two pages in, you've got the poor bastard confronting the love of his life over her five-year affair. And how does he confront her? With a pedantic monologue devoid of emotion and reality. And then? Well . . . NOTHING. The wife and ex-business partner pretty much just disappear, we have no idea why they did it or how it even got started, we have no real conflict in his relationship with Debbie.

To the contrary, the conflict with Debbie, such as it is, is mostly contrived and cutesy.

Also, your dialogue needs serious work, and I recommend you read books by Dennis Lehane, Elmore Leonard, and Robert Parker to see what I mean. They can write dialogue. In real life, people don't speak as flowery and melodramatic as you portray. "I love you, my husband" is too sickly sweet! Better to say "Love you, babe. You know that, right?"

I've read and enjoyed nearly all of your stories, and I strongly encourage you to keep plugging along. Still, I think you should always work on improving your dialogue and quit making your characters so boringly good. Sure, the reviewers hate characters with real emotions and real flaws, but flawed characters raise the tension and are more interesting to read about.

Frankly, just thinking about it, having such incredibly virtuous husbands makes it all the more unlikely that wifey would ever cheat, but here you have the perfectly virtuous husband and no explanation--really--as to why she did it?

Overall, liked it; however, putting a lot of drama between page three and eight was a little more than tedious and required determination on my part to keep reading.

Divorcing Sally and getting rid of David in quick order was enjoyable, could have been a slight more descriptive but to the point, done and over.

Ending your story with a typical John solution and realizing his Debbie was only his - nice ending!

Thanks, it is a good story - just looonnnng!

it was disappointing . I had to start skimming in order not to get bored . There was not enough interaction , events and dialog between the cheaters and their soon to be ex spouses . It just jumped from " ok I we caught em and divorced " to more pages than were needed of the new relationship which was very dull . Trying to put in all the gun stuff and foiled bank robbery didnt help the boredom . It seemed that you were kind of grasping at straws to toss in every element you could think of ..... and it didnt work . Keep on writing but this one just lacked anything interesting .

Whenever I see the author's name is Grey Eagle 286, it means stop and read. Even if it gets a little mushy once in a while, it is still structured well and a good read.

azsam

you always come up with new ideas, but you lack in other fields, i read all your stories, all are good plot-wise, but some are like in this story - you just keeep saying and saying, no action, no dialogue--he did that he did this, she went there , she came to me, i thought this i thought that. its just keep dragging, and sorry to say but i skipped to next break. it was like documentary.

but please keep writing, just work on some fields.

It did have a happy ending, but it sure took a long time to get there. The whole story seemed to lack dynamics, and even though I liked the direction, I'm afraid it got a little boring. All that CWC target practice stuff seemed like so much fill, and bank robber shoot out was reminiscent of some of my adolescent hero fantasy's, and seemed oddly out of place in a short story. Although I believe you handled the .32 versus .380 controversy well, you sort of spoiled it with an old Iver-Johnson wheel gun. As a fellow old fart you can tell I know how easy it is to ramble, but I try to restrict my ramblings to the occasional public comment rant, and not an 8 page tome that could have been told more succinctly in three. Still I believe this story rates a four out of five stars and I'm looking forward to your next posting.

I think the biggest problem I had with it was that it wasn't one story, it was at least four cobbled together. The divorce story was pretty good, the courtship of Debbie was decent, but the guns 'n robbers story was ridiculous and the gay assistant was too contrived. Even the last two probably could have made decent stand alone stories, if you'd put the time into developing them, but the further in you got, the more eager you were to finish, and it shows.

you should have finished the story. the rest is just crap that was not needed. instead you should have come to a real closure with the divorces.

The confrontation happens... but we only know what John is saying.... not really much about Mary and then nothing about three of the main characters for the rest of the story. Weird!

You started out with a pretty good story about John's divorce from Sally but you didn't finish it. His wife of 14 years has a 5-year affair with his best friend and business partner but nobody seems concerned with how, let alone WHY? I guess a 5-year affair shows a fairly high level of contempt for your spouse, but she professed to love her husband. There's a huge WTF? factor here that is never addressed, let alone resolved. Finish John and Sally's story before starting John and Debbie's.

That saying, is exactly the problem with what would have been otherwise a good story. It had potential in fact the potential to be two different stories which is sort of was. W of 14 years cheats for 5 with best friend, both are partners in the company and not a word is mentioned about it other than "you have been served."

Even more interesting is the time line. It seems that Fla. has instant divorce as the marriage appears to take place long before a divorce winds its way through the courts and that assumes that the W doesn't try to fight for the marriage. A point we never hear about.

So this story had lots of potential and was well written in detail, but in the big picture it never lived up to its potential but morphed into another story about superman and supergirl.

I liked the story, and I have read most of the comments. My personal opinion is I am a reader and love to read good/great storys. I am not a critic by profession, only a greatful reader. Thaank You for keeping on putting it out here for our reading pleasure. I personaly thought it was a great story and, I loved it.

But I just didn't. But I didn't dislike it either. The story just sort of drifted along...some parts good, like the unfolding of the cheating spouses in the beginning or the shootout...some were painful to read, like the "gay" ending or the silly Porno star interlude. If one is going to write a romance story like this, one has to cleverly write characters that have depth and likability...Debbie was somewhat likable, but no real depth, but the architect had neither. In the end I couldn't give a shit what happened to either...too bad, because the story had some good points and some potential.

You wove a good story line but this guys constant jealousy became annoying. So did the story. Sorry about that.

Re: "We couldn't get married until he could get a divorce. Where you think you know me from?"

For some reason this time was left out of the story. Too rushed.Too many items not coordinated. Good story. Could have been great w/better editing.

I have to agree with many other the comments concerning Sally and Dave relationship. Five years of cheating and it is found and over with in several paragraph. It left me wanting more reasons and what happened after. I did like the rest of the story with Debbie and Dolly. Some neat little twist with the gun battle and idea of personnal protection with a botan not often mentioned on this site.

The porn producer has been used before but you did that well and showed a human side to the producer.

All around good work but could have been better but worth the read and the time!

A LITTLE DRAWN OUT . BUT DIFFERENT THAN MOST CHEATING STORIES.

A JEALOUS MAN WHO LOVES HIS SECOND WIFE AND IT WORKS AND ENDS HAPPILY.

I would have liked to see some reasoning behind Sally's affair for more depth and to create more of a feeling for John...but it was still a very good story.

I have read through the comments and I can only echo what hodunk had to say. Thank you for putting out such great stories.

As far as the rest insisting to know more about the cheating and want more detail I ask why?? They cheated for 5 years and were caught and kicked to the curb what more do you need to know?

Your stories are filled with a lot of love and emotion between the loving couples, some find it to cutesy, I have found that it reminds me to take my wife less for granted and tell her I love her more. Thank you for that as well as for your stories.

To me it seemed as if the storyline wandered a bit from scene to scene, sometimes as they weren't connected, but it was still an interesting story.

Other than that I enjoyed the read very much.

Thanks

i kept expecting you to make deb cheat and ruin a great love story, thank you for a happy ending. well written.

is that you continue to have some of the best story ideas of any writer in this catagory. However, the lack of ability to present the story in a well written script is a problem. I suggest you take some creative writing classes and also learn how to properly write dialog. This alone will improve your writing skills. I enjoyed this story, albeit the lack of defined conflict hindered it greatly. In the meantime, please continue. I appreciate your efforts and will continue to read your offerings.

This story was good, up until the part where Debbie became a primary character. Then I just wondered what became of Sally, and the main guy getting revenge against her. Who cares about Debbie?

A great read, lots of fun.

it sort of kept going on and on after the breakup and marraige to Debbie. In the end you just stopped the story after going from episode to episode. How many times is John going to distrust Debbie?

The idea of the story was great. Most authors who post their work in the loving wives category neglect demonstrating the trust issues a cuckolded husband would have to suffer from in the future.

The story portrayed them in great detail, and personally, I loved the ending. Not every woman out there is a cock-hungry slut who would betray love and respect for a few more inches of meat.

However, I do think you need to work on your linguistic abilities if you wish to grasp your true potential as a writer.

Adam.

How about a next Chapter in this story from Dave and Sally's point of view. What happened to them and what became of them in the end. Dave seemed to be out in the cold with no money from the company since it appears Mary supplied his start up share. Sally it appears to have been able to retain her interest in his business and maybe gets a comfortable life even though she doesn't deserve anything from him

If the author had said 8 or perhaps even a 9 inch cock I would have rated it 5 stars. However, a story making such a stupid statement does not deserve a higher rating.

Once you get away from the hype, even John Holmes was less than 9". Relative to the height of his navel, there is no way he is over 9 inches unless his navel is in the same spot as his sternum (and it is obvious that it is not)

Even in the early clips when he gets more erect, the penis still hangs he NEVER got an erection that stood up. That being said, his penis was always approximately the length of his hand (slightly longer). No 6'2" man has hands that are close to 10 inches long. It for sure never went past his navel when he stood upright. It would be impossible for it to be over 9 inches. The fact that he was a very lean man helped as the penis looked longer relative to the width of his leg (when it flopped over the side it looked really long).

This is the best written story I have read on Literotica to date. There are a few misuses of "I" instead of "me," etc, but overall, far above average spelling, grammar, and structure.

I read it for the laugh.....girl...LOL

I liked your story; maybe not as well as some others you have written, but I liked it well enough to give you a decent score and to thank you for it.

It felt like a freight train passing. Story after story coupled together. The end of the story had nothing to do with the begining. I think it could have been divided into 3 separate stories. Enjoyable read but too long. But thank you for the write. Jim

I stopped reading when it's revealed that Debbie is a single mother because she won't abort her rapist's baby. Yuck. I mean, you can do better than that, make her a widow or something.

I hope he signed a prenup...it's gonna get ugly

Apart of many typos,grammatical and spelling errors the whole thing was just inane. One of the less appealing effort from this writer.

one minor thing. Which man knows what's reallly in a woman's heart? They sure as HELL aren't going to let us know in any terms that a man might possibly understand.

Can you say, "born and raised to hide and deceive"? We each have our strengths, and that is theirs. We can only live with it...or die. GE286, it is overly long.

nothing is for sure forerver. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for sharing.

Sugary sweet - a bit much - a bit disjointed with loose threads abounding but damn if it's not a good read!

Thx!

...She should have know that Jamal was making him uneasy and she should nave nipped it in the bud. That "need for counseling" is often a ploy leading to seduction. She already knew her husband was a bit uneasy about the porn stud on the nude beach. We husbands are sensitive and are not to be trifled with! That is my only criticism of the story but I would like to have seen revenge on Sally mentioned, the slut bitch.

SALLY SALLY SALLY....What happened?

and put them into effectiveness. TK U MLJ LV NV

I don't like that wide number 1 gets to live off the ex's labored when the cunt cheated on him for five fucking years.

but then I felt it lost focus. The last 5 pages seemd to be pointless.

The story should have stopped after Jeff's arrest and them getting concealed weapons for protection and maybe the birth of their son. The story then blew out of proportion and a whole bunch of random ideas were put together for the last 5 pages. The whole expert marksmanship and the bank robbery was unnecessary. Besides that this was an excellent story.

I agree with phil2213......what the hell happened to Sally? The bitch deserved her time in the story.

Dude (Hubby) goes from Good to Superman/Gandhi in 15 rambling steps. I think GE286 forgot to include Hubby winning season 2 of American Idol. Shoulda been over after Mary and Sweetie1 opted for 'silent partner' status!

3*

Great job but at times was a little boring but overall, I enjoyed the story.9

About how someone shoulda known something cause!

He, she, it knows he has issues with - so why would they ...

We have all seen the logical statement that cheaters think everybody cheats -

Let's put those 2 ideas together - everybody tends to think all other people think like they do (good or bad) and few people make assumptions they do not need to.

The wife knew he was gay, she also knew she was true blue - completely, she knew our hero was not gay and was true blue too - conclusion - there was nothing to worry about as there was nothing wrong going on. Incomplete thinking but understandable - she was young and immature in spite of her sophistication, poise and wisdom - cut her some slack - and the writer too lol

When you see that a story is what you consider to be long why don't you just move on to another one that fits you short attention span.As for what happens with Sally once the divorce happen she is a non story in what happens latter.I can't see why a story needs to end instantly after a couple get together,that's just the start.I prefer to see what else can come of their story in a longer one.

I didn't like this as much as the first time I read it a while back. That surprised me. Clearly, this read like two stories, that somewhat became unrelated. The first part was only significant in the second half when the architect muses about how he can't seem to keep a wife faithful. Other than that, the first part could've been eliminated without impacting the second in any way. We have no clue as to why the wife cheated or how she could have still loved him. It is simply put aside and quickly forgotten.

I didn't care for the new wife. You didn't write her as a likable character. You chose to play with the story a bit by throwing her fidelity into question. Even the architect questions her on three separate occasions. First, there were her interactions with Jeff. Next, there were her joking comments with him about his male endowment while on their honeymoon. Finally, there were her interactions with Jamal. Clearly, she was not doing anything inappropriate, but you lead the readers to question her and make us think she is going to be unfaithful. In my opinion, you did not do a good job of restoring her image after each of these events. I still have questions about her. What will she do years down the road? After all, I have suspicions about a younger woman who is a single mother, who comes to work and immediately puts the moves on the recently divorced owner of the company. There is so much in here not to like about this woman, and so little to support your closing image of her as the steady wife who will never stray.

Was it just the guys big cock? 5 years of bigger better cock, but she still loves and respects her husband? Bullshit, that's not how people work. A 5 year affair gets sloppy, careless, then obvious. He wasn't taking care of business at home, and wasn't scrutinizing his marriage the way he would examine some architectural drawings. Too bad he didn't bring his eye for details and subtle issues to his own marriage. Hope the second marriage works out better, but the author gave us some reasons to be uncertain there as well. Interesting.

He needs to dump the new wife she is playing on the edge and will stray before long. The way you wrote her she is not trust worthy.

and live with it and not worry about Karma. TK U MLJ LV NV

ass and pay attention to what people around her are telling her. She is too touchy/feely with the first guy, Jeff. Nearly got her hurt and unasked to marry him, then on the honeymoon she raved over the big black dick and then slammed her husbands package size and when the porn guy tried to explain what a dumb bitch move she had made, she blew him off and just kept on being her wonderful self and even after her husband made a point that night, when she got back she just had to have another big black guy hanging around all of the time, even showing him her bare titties. Ok, she claims he was gay, but no one else in the company knew that, husband made a comment about him to her and she just shrugged it off. She needs her ass kicked to the curb. He can do better and he certainly doesn't need to put up with a bunch of shit from a conceited dipshit like her. Everyone in the company thought she was messing around with the black kid but even if they hadn't her husband was uncomfortable with their actions so she should have stopped immediately.

You wrote him as a pussy and that was uncalled for in this story. Too bad, didn't like the story much at all and didn't like the new wife any at all.

hate moronic stories where husband divorces and the next paragraph he has an harem or is madly in love with another woman. fucking bullshit.

Awesome feel good story. The nay sayers need to go away if they do not like this story.

The only single, solitary problem I had with the entire story was Debbie's inability to avoid hurting John concerning touchy sexual matters involving John. Several times she pushed the wrong buttons and was slow to see how her actions hurt her husband. Every woman I have ever been close to has jokingly made fun of my endowment, which led to three divorces and two imploded relationships

In the office Deb appeared at first to be uber organized, a great business woman. But when dealing with men in the work place, she was blind, stubborn, and arrogant. And she was not in the the least bit aware of the hurt she was causing John. Why are women so stupid about their husbands or boyfriends? Deb made fun of John's penile endowment moments after seeing the black porn star's footlong erection. That was about as funny as John making a joke about drowning Dolly in a bathtub. Stupid, stupid woman. Story is well written. But if I was John, I would be divorcing Deb ASAP. It is only a matter of time before she has an affair with a bigger endowed man, just like his first wife Sally.

The dialogue was so stilted and unnatural I was constantly being yanked out of the story.

She is so naive and immature.

If this happend in real life this marriage would be end in one year.

She knew what the first wife did and the first wife was experienced. She was for the most part young and dumb in the ways of the world, naive. She was given damn near everything by her benefactor. She was learning what was best for everyone and the girl/ woman was naive to many things happening around her. Her boss / then husband was jaded and watched everyone near them. He failed to express his fears, Debbie was very smart but she wasn't a mind reader. I didn't get the feeling she was going to cheat. Again she wasn't experienced in having or being in a relationship. She went from rape victim who had the child of the rapist, no relationship, horrible family relationships, poor barely employed to having damn near everything she could possibly want. If only things like this happened in real life.

This is a very good story yes, it was long. Could it have been shortened maybe but, without losing anything I'm not sure. I liked the story as written yes anything can be improved. Why mess with a very good story!

Johns size was not a problem the first wife was just a greedy cheater who wanted everything she could get. If size was a issue the cheating husband would've had it made. Lets face it at first Debbie thought John was too big. She was smart enough to know John was just a better MAN! Yes, Debbie did some stuff to hurt Johns feelings all she needed was to be educated. Once she understood what was going on with her personal with John life all was good. Only a dumb insecure guy would think or worrying about penis size shame on anyone in that frame of mind. If you have watched any porn movies I feel sorry for Mandingo and the other guys with giant penis which don't get very hard any more. Maybe if they used an animated penis they wouldn't have to fake being hard.

The writer supplied all the needed information so you didn't have to guess why the story was so long. Don't skip!

What happened to Sally? Did she die? She said that without John her life was over. You can't just leave characters dangling! What's with all of the gun play? That was a complete distraction from the story. Just plain weird right wing shit.

Between every joke there is a grain of TRUTH. Every thing went well for them until the following year. She gave john a little black baby boy.

It seems to me that some of the commenters live in a dark little world where they believe that most, if not all women,and men for that matter, are cheaters always looking for opportunities to do their cheating. Was she immature? In some things yes she was,but then most people are at 20.Was she unaware of what others did and thought ? Yes she was,but that goes along with her being as young as she was, and it could have and nearly did cost her greatly.She still had a lot to lean about life yet.Also many people are blissfully unaware of a lot that goes on around them no matter what their age or level of maturity is.Was she acting like she was cheating,or was going to cheat?I don't believe so. John needed to get some counciling to deal with what happened to him with Sally and his insecurities. As far as comments about it being too long,sometimes it takes awhile to develope out a story in order to make it good. Was everything needed in this one? Maybe ,maybe not,but he was giving us a look into these peoples lives with all that may be a part of them.I personally prefer the longer stories as they do include more depth into the personalities of the characters in the story.

The characterisation seems off.

It's very weird when he on the first page is grinning about it being his fault, if it was supposed to be sarcastic that didn't come through at all.

Debbie's story is just as off, getting drugged and raped and then fired for being pregnant?

First off, did she not get a rape kit and a blood test? The perpetrator(s) were at the party, but no explanation about an investigation despite there being plenty to work with.

Her getting fired is just as stupid, has wrongful termination lawsuit written all over it.

The author really didn't think this through.

You have to ask yourself what wife consoles someone who loves her husband as a friend in a business setting? Given John's history with Sally you would think that she would be more sensitive on how John could misinterpret some young stud always being around her and her welcoming that attention. Also, why would Jamal want to be around someone who stands in the way of his great love interest? It just seems like an unnecessary problem to have in the office as well as their marriage.

pretentious, convoluted, and full of holes.

and what is a pick-nick?

At least during that whole 5 years Sally never slapped him in the face with her preference for other men, but Debbie and her obsession with black guys was in his face from the honeymoon on. Don't like either but would have preferred it not to be in my face. That I blame on the writer. It didn't need to be that way.

Very one dimensional.

Good story, just needed more meat on the bones of it, A LOT!

I agree with others about the story rambling without any surprise twists.

The bank shoot-out was a distraction that had nothing to do with the progress of the story and served no purpose.

I also feel there was no need for honeymoon porn element.

It is commendable to highlight the protagonist's natural over sensitivity to trust issues following his former marriage failure but there was no need for this to nave a racial element.

Whilst Debby was smart she was not yet over worldly wise - therefore coming across as insensitive. As someone already commented - we tend to expect other people to think and react the same way as ourselves - and that's a big mistake.

In spite of this I gave it 5*

I suspect because of their own lack of closure which they wont find here - there are a surprising number of commenter's wanting to know the reason for their cheating.

Really?

Who could tell you that?

Would you believe the word of a cheater even if they knew?

In the case of this story there was first an attraction which grew until an opportunity either presented itself or was created and they slide into it - maybe caught by the moment - with neither having the moral strength to say no or think of the consequences. Having got away with it once it is easy to continue - although by this time they partially realised what is at risk but still choose to continue. Even so I doubt if they seriously think of the full implications of divorce nor the full number of people it affects and to what extent - both financial and emotional.

As to what happened to the cheaters - who cares, There only involvement with the story was a cheating couple that got caught and kicked to the curb.

Their punishment. Dave got taken to the cleaners and Sally got to see Debby happily replace her and have the family she had been planning.

Why the hell would you write several stories and make them as one? I don’t mind reading about his older relationship and how he got out of it and kicked both the best friend and his wife, then he fell in love. That is exactly where you should have ended. And don’t get me started with the honeymoon, it doesn’t make any sense.

There was nothing about his personality or hers that would incline to them chosing a nude beach, to me it doesn’t make any sense for any vacation let alone their honeymoon. The first reason is that she was raped, didn’t even know what a cock looks like until she saw her husband’s, the other reason is that her husband is older than her by many years that would prevent him from going to places like these especially when you know that he isn’t the type to show her off, she’s not his trophy wife. Lastly his first marriage and the long affair of 5 years that his ex wife had with his best friend.

Being a good writer doesn’t only mean that you are able to write with proper grammar, you should also put some thought into your characters. You can’t make them do things that go against their personality or nature. I’m so pissed that I’ve wasted some time in reading what was a great story that turned into a shitty one.

People don't talk like this.

What was The Story supposed to be about? From there it doesn't make sense. You had the newsfeed of them kissing inside the door of the motel and room number. How much more proof did you need? Then you take Dave and his wife along with Sally to a weekend conference, While at the conference: This little girl you hired got a pi. to follow them and record them coming back to the same motel room on two diffrerent days. I guess from there they went back to the conference without you nor Dave's wife noticing that they had gotten lost on you two, because when you came back from the conference she had all the videos of them and what they had done and spoken to each other about. Motels are not wired. It is highly illegal to record someone in the rooms. So forget trying to say you got the motel tapes. Ok? Five years!! And you nor Dave's wife suspected anything? Oh! she knew but hadn't wanted to say anything? Really? A wife will not let it slide. As soon as she suspects something she's going to confront you about it. Anyway, One thing I always ask myself is. If this guy is such a nice considerate and loving man? Oh and lets not forget, the most amazing lover! Why the hell then is the wife looking? from there you went into another story totally different. I guess Sally and Dave's ex never got paid divedends from their shares as it was never mentioned. Anyway! Your new wife said that she didn't know what it felt like since her first time she was raped and couldn't remember anything. But then! towards the end of the story she says that you are the best lover she has ever been with? I also didn't agree with you making it into a racial thing. But since you brought it up, why was she after those black men? How long before you find out that you weren't man enough for her either? Lousy story sorry I spent my time reading it.

It was an uninteresting read. It was about as interesting as listening to someone droning on and on about how their life sucks, or trying too hard to impress someone with their mediocrity. It really was tedious

What's the point!

I think you brought this story to a high point very early on when he called in his wife and partner and was ready to drop the hammer on them. It was very anti-climactic that they were simply written out of the story on page 2 of 8. I was surprised that there was not some future drama and John did not get a chance to demonstrate what she (first wife) lost.

Boring from start to end snoozzzzzzzer

What happened to original cheaters

What was she doing with porn guy even though it was a good discussion

Once cheated on going to have trust issues fairly well covered

Overall enjoyed although for a while I thought you were leading to him suffering another cheater

4 stars

I.just never got interested in this.one. Too long, and too disjointed for me.

John and Debbie are at Donna's graduation from University with her degree in business with a minor in Architecture. John thinks back over the last 20 years. Their other 5 kids are doing well. The company has grown to be a billion dollar building design firm with buildings, they have designed, in many countries. They have offices in 12 countries world wide.

Debbie IS the CEO of the company as she is the driving force behind their success and John is happy as the Chief Architect.

Sally has lived well, due to the her share and how successful the company been, but has never remarried as she realised how much she lost when she cheated on her wonderful husband. She satisfied her maternal instincts by becoming the best "aunt" to John and Debbie's kids. She does not regret that part of her life as her life has no meaning without John.

Mary has also done well due to her share of the profits from the company. She is happy her friend John is happy with Debbie. She is also happy with her second husband who she met 3 years after her divorce from Dave. He runs a multi-national construction company and actually builds some of John's designs they work well together. She has 3 kids who are doing well in school.

Dave, however, is different story. He found employment with a medium sized firm but was terminated for padding his expense reports. After that he was unable to find work in his field so he was forced to take whatever work he could. After being fired from his last job at a burger joint' as a fast food cook, he really hit the skids. He is currently homeless in a big city in Florida but dreams of being successful again. Every now and then John sees him panhandling and slips a hundred into his begging bowl. When this occurs Dave tells John to "fuck off" but still accepts the money. He then proceeds to drink good scotch till he passes out remembering the good times. Oh if he could only get rid of this dose of anti-biotic resistant syphilis he caught from that skank on 53rd street, or was it 51st he might be able to come back and show Lord High Almighty John "fucking" Nelson' the architect of his downfall.

Jamal is VP of Engineering and is very much in love with his husband and John was his best man at the wedding.

Betty well she is still married to the same wonderful man and has had 2 more children. She still works for John and Debbie even after the little blow up when she refused the role of Debbie's Personal Assistant (she did not want to be away from her kids too long). They have all been good friends but she is looking forward to retirement in a few years.

I have News ... Jamal is not gay ...

I enjoyed your story and thought it was well written. It was a bit long and I think the story would have been even better received if you had ended the story before the Caymans vacation. Just one persons observation.

This story starts off by John finding out his wife is having an affair...the video shows she thinks her husband is getting wind of whats she doing and wants to end it because she loves him...you see the affair has been going on for 5 year now...and I love the fact the husband won't stand for it and gets rid of her...The only thing that I don't like about this love story is...you don't get to see the ex-wifes pain for losing the man she loves...Yes...I wanted to see that...I wanted to know what she felt like losing her husband for what she did... But I did find this story intertaining...I loved all of the twists an turns it took.......

Hard to stay with this one. However, I would have liked to have seen the perpetrators get their due!

But left it being confused and felt the writing I'll defined the action. And what was it with all the insecurity with their re?ationship? Wish things were clearer , and th as t neither of the two main characters were such super men.

There was a story where his ex and his friend's affair came about. He went from being a loving, betrayed husband to immediately in love again. I think a confrontation and explanation, for his wife's betrayal was needed. Also how can the ex wife and lover just stop after 5 years?

A business owner would never give a temporary employee a company credit card and authority to essentially run his business as he did. He had no reason to believe that the story of her past life wasn’t a fabrication. He had just been burned by one woman; he would have been much more wary than he was. Overall, a stupid unrealistic story. Three stars.