All Comments on 'Saving the Future Ch. 05'

the entire premise of the plot is incongruent, as well as you have storyline details mixed up, (you switched Julie and Riana's husbands) and you introduced the 'bugs' as coming back in time with your protagonist, but in the first three chapters, (which should have been one chapter, by the way), the protagonist wasn't aware of them and had to use a hidden camera, (and wasn't it 'borrowed' from his relatives? I can't recall for certain...).

As far as the incongruent premise, you introduce the protagonist as going back to document a history that HAD taken place, then he suddenly started mucking around with events. IF the events had already happened as the family history showed, then why start mucking around with things?

I guess you were trying to create a 'which came first, the chicken or the egg?' type plot, but you artificially created it without it being plot driven; that is not how it's done.

Decent writing, but you have to think things through about plot development if you're going to take on time-space continuum paradox stories.