I'm going to really quickly acknowledge that I missed a bunch of things in my final editing pass. A better version should be up soon.
and that is why when you plan to make your new boss your slave, you don't discuss it on what seems to be a company email.
the last line of this chapter has to be my very favorite so far. if i had been drinking a coke it would have exited out my nose!
I've realy enjoyed the story so far! I was alittle worried in the earlier chtrs that it was going to be just about the sex, but the plot got more and more interesting as the chptrs progrest! I wonder how John is going to get out of this mess! Keep up the gr8 work!!!!!!!
Well written, but far too short.
Write faster already! It's an amazing story, though I'm bummed we haven't actually seen Sarah obey the second half of Rule 3. Hell, we haven't seen him get any oral so far. That kinda bums me out, but I'm just one person with that opinion. Just keep up the great work!
What an awesome story
yes good story,but I need someone to use hypnosis on my wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because mental retardation is the only explanation for the kind of excremental you pollute this site with. Even your title is hypocritical, if you had even the slightest bit of humanity in you, you would have kept this drivel to yourself.
As for the basic plot itself, really? Mind control that works on 18 year olds and older? Tell us, considering your protagonists basic lack of morality, would he really stop at only 18 year olds? After all, he has already demonstrated a complete lack of concern for laws or respect, so why should be be concerned with age? He is willing to destroy a woman's identity simply to gratify his base desires, so why would age be an issue? Ergo: it doesn't. And therein lies the initial flaw. Age if consent in Indiana is 16, so why not go there? Simple, you tailored your story is barely fit the parameters of this site and if you can do that, you can actually write a story that makes sense, not this putrid debris from a pus filled brain.
I am unsure about why this chapter was written other than to add some sex. The final section includes a part about asking what goes on but it seems like this chapter is superfluous. The same inquiry could be done without sex and quicker.
A touch more explaination as to why the characters have acted the way they have (they clearly have a plan) would IMHO put this chapter better into focus. It may have worked better as a conversation between the two of them either at the planning stages or in a report back situation.
Made me cum hard but it was really weird... and a bit mind-blowing.
Nice, I think.
Errrrr, you're my favorite author on this site and you leave me hanging after 3 months with a 6 page story errrr. More please!
There is NO back door in the world that will work with everyone in every situation. When trust is broken badly, the human mind (especially a submissive one) works in complex ways...hell it always does. There is NO safe way to do this. Both parties need to realise that going into the situation.
It's too unreadable, it didn't have to be first person, and it's full of paragraphs…
PLEASE TAKE A BASIC WRITING CLASS
I appreciate the idea, but you bored me a quarter of the way in on the first page! It didnt need to be first person and didn't need to be four pages...edit edit EDIT! Pleasd for the love of humanity we read these for pleasure not torture!
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