All Comments on 'too deep'

relations are altered, TK U MLJ LV NV

Skillful use of repetition. "since" in the next to last line felt a bit forced to me as if it was inserted to maintain a certain number of feet to the line. If that were the case, "underneath" would have worked, and given the importance of the repeated line, the last line as a stand alone declarative sentence might have given greater weight to the finality of the relationship as well as the poem:

"................I am

mere earth underneath your feet.

You loved me too hard, too long, too deep."

I always enjoy reading your work.

of wonderful. I'm not quite sure why. With this one I think it has something to do with your rhyme. It's like it decays later in the poem, which is an idea I like, but it doesn't seem supported (at least to me) by the sense of the poem. I can find internal rhymes for most of the end lines (though not "girl" and "shirt" unless they're meant to match) but the end result still seems a bit haphazard to me.

I know I'm sounding rather like a grandfather who is complaining about the styles you youngsters wear (harumph, harumph), but there it is.

Generally approved of, but a bit cranky feeling about your capitalization.

Call me Ishmael.

Quite good! I liked it!