All Comments on 'A Night of New Pleasure'

by bubbliebabs

Sort by:
  • 1 Comment
Jerry WalfellJerry Walfellalmost 17 years ago
Shorter paragraphs and more description . . .

When you have paragraphs this long, and nothing to give the story color, i.e. descriptions of sounds, smells, tactile sensations, feelings, etc., it makes the story really hard to read, and not very interesting. It's like watching a jerky black-and-white porn video with the sound turned off.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous