All Comments on 'Alexis'

Absolutely amazing. The story was outstanding, it was perfection.

A most marvelous love story - perhaps the best I've read on Literotica, or elsewhere. Beautifully written. I haven't checked yet, but I hope Wanda has more than one hit, or will produce more. Please!

To put it simply, amazing. One of the best stories I've read on here. I could feel all of the emotions these two were experiencing. The love, lust, insecurities and doubt. You are a talented writer and I hope to be able to read more from you soon.

I have read so many of these stories for a hard wank and a release, and this one struck me as something completely different. Certainly an erection occurred, but I was so affected with the beauty and innocence that I, a 65 year old retiree, almost wept. You have a most beautiful expression and talent. Thank you so much for this story, this treat.

I did not expect to finish this story when I realised it would involve two women, but, the writing was excellent (only 2 typos) and the story had large quantities of emotion, thought, love, self-asteem, etc. Very good and thoughtful. Caused me to look up again to make sure I had given this a five. Thank you...

I was totally enthralled by this story. At first I was disappointed it was about sisters, only because I have fantasized about my own. I am glad I kept reading. This story is everything erotica should be. It's hot, erotic, emotional, everything you could ask for in a story.

Thank you fro writing it.

Daytymer

Keep writing stories and you certainly won't be a "one hit"Wanda! This story is absolutely amazing. Please keep writing more stories. I would love to read more about Robs and Lexi

An absolute beautiful story. Well written with good flow. It had me crying at some points. Can't wait to read any follow up stories you may do.

Exceptionally good character interaction!

Given the idea that those two people exist, the love that you show between them is quite realistic and equitable. And beautiful.

I was particularly struck by the paragraph that starts ''You really don't get it, do you?''

I don't think I've ever written this to any of the authors before, but I would say that your writing quality is Publication Quality -- that if you were to publish, people would be willing to pay (once they were familiar with your work.)

I have enjoyed every word of this well written short story. You have got a talented pen onehitwanda, thank you for allowing me to read it.

You wrote in present tense and didn't use quotations for dialog. Unreadable.

Thanks for sharing your talent, this is a awesome debut story. Hope you will submit more well written tales.5 star vote

If this story doesn't end up on the top-rated list it'll be a crime.

I really hope you're not a one-hit writer.... I had to force myself to pause every once in a while to let all sink in, savor the flavor...

This is my best story in the whole LITEROTICA. In one word 'BEAUTIFUL'

what a beautiful story! I hope you continue to share you creative writing with us.

an amazing first story. thank you for sharing.

Warm, caring, affectionate, loving - and incredibly hot. Beautifully paced and written. I'll be looking for more, of these or any other characters that occur to you.

Beautiful story, beautifully written. I enjoyed your writing immensely - a well-crafted plot, believable and endearing characterisation and, of course, wonderfully erotic. And you obviously like Talisker, so clearly have good taste :-).

I read both of the stories from this author to date. They filled my heart and mind as well as fully offering up literary erotic joy. I hope and hope more to read more and more.

There aren't enough good things to say about your character building or the realism of the two people in the story. The first four Literotica pages of this story were - for a lack of a better word - perfect (I hate that word, there's always room for improvement but I couldn't see any). While taking a piss (which I held until the last possible moment), I was thinking to myself: 'God, they could be shoveling shit and this would still be some of the best conversation I've ever read.' True story; well done.

On a different and entirely unrelated note, however, you made a mistake (in my mind anyway) that quite a few author's make when writing an action or erotic scene (I've been struggling with this issue myself for the better part of a year).

Erotic: The problem with your (and my) erotic scenes is that you've got too many things written into it that aren't erotic. Emotions, tears, thoughts and feelings are all part of real love making but they aren't erotic to read about. Yes, it will increase our emotional investment in the characters (as readers) and yes it conveys the love the two characters have for one another but it also has a tendency to take the wind out of our sails.

Solution: emotion - sex - emotion. Have the characters talk about how they felt in the moment - after the moment has passed. That way your readers get their jollies and their emotional attachment.

Working in a smile or a cupping of the cheek is fine so long as other things are happening in the same line. Ex. One hand might be petting the neck and shoulder while the other is touching a naughty place. Eye contact can also be sexy while conveying emotion; just try to avoid putting too much emphasis on the emotional.

Action: You (and I) both have a tendency to tack on unneeded text. Action should happen in a fast, concise way. Attempting to quantify or qualify it makes it more specific and takes away the reader's ability to use their imagination.

Word couplings like "and then," and "so that," slow flow and bog things down. You can generally get away with "and," or "then," by themselves and you never have to write "so that." Everything "so that" can do, "so" can do better.

Alright, that's about it. I thank you for sharing; it was a wonderful story.

The "gait" of your prose style does more to reveal "Robs" than any amount of description possibly could. Your writing has a spring in its "step" that is irresistibly lovely and telling. Hemingway would have envied you!

Soooo, so good to read a story from an author that can actually write! Do you run courses? I'd sign up!!

I don't even particularly like girl on girl stories... it's a visual thing for me, lol. Yet I couldn't stop reading this -and not only that, it's actually become one of my absolute favourites. Prose, dialogue, plot etc, etc... you've got it here in spades!

When I grow up, I wanna write like this.

you are a true artist. Alexis is the most passionate story I have ever had the pleasure to read. I should be happy to read happy to read more of them.

well done 5+ stars

By far, this was one of the best things I have ever read, and not just in an erotic sense, either. I kept wondering "Is the writer going to make something terrible happen at the end of this?" then you introduced the fireplace (which seemed to always be lit since it was introduced) and I got just an awful feeling. See, I thought, near the end, something in front of the fireplace was going to catch fire and burn the place down (which is most likely how I would've ended it, just because I'm such an asshole) because they went to bed seemingly without dousing the fire. Regardless, great read. I had lots of fun reading it.

A brilliant story very well told!

Your story was just wonderful! Your pace was perfect, the character development was very thorough, the dialogue was natural (Something we don't see enough of) and the circumstances were believable.

I will be looking forward to many more stories from you in the ,hopefully, near future.

I can't believe this is the first time I've come across your story! It feels close and intimate from the start. The characters are believable and adorable in heir own ways. It was such a lovely, sweet story to read. Thank you. x x

This challenges my other most favourite read (not on this website) called "Another Night Wasted" -(if you type "Another Night Wasted Nifty", into Google, I'm sure you'll find it, highly recommend)-

I'm a softy for touchy-feely and character development. So naturally, this was the equivalent of finding gold while looking for oil, or whatever pathetic metaphor I can summon from my sleepy brain at the moment. I don't read a lot of fiction (take it how you want to, I guess I'm here for a reason, and not a weird one, I don't know why I'm explaining myself. I guess a part of me is disgusted with my own being for even having thoughts on this kind of topic, but a part of me is curious and I'm pretty certain that I'm strong enough to not let this effect me in the real world) and I have to say that you are very gifted. You use of words is spot on. It's never detracting or bland, which I find in a lot of novels that I attempt to read, but can't get past the pretension. I did catch the use of "chin-wag" which hints at you being British, I'm not going to attempt a psycho analysis of character, but I do feel pretty cheeky for catching that (pour the rum in my eyes and call me a scoundrel).

I'm in love with your writing style, I hope to see more things from you, if not, I hope that you pursue your writing tendencies. If you hope to get published, I hope you do, if you wish to please more readers, I hope you do, and if you wish to take over the world, I hope you do (just, you know, leave me alive and well).

Oh my, I've went on for quite a bit, haven't I?

Oh and once again, if you're into building story and believable characters please check out a story called "Another Night Wasted" It's on Nifty.org, I'm sure you can find it by typing "Another Night Wasted Nifty" into Google. It's a similar style of story to yours and I find that it's very well written. I should mention that it jumps between characters, this happens at line breaks marked by dashes I believe. It's pretty obvious, but it took me a few reads to get used to it. I don't know if you can respond to these comments, but it would be cool to hear (or rather read) what you thought about it.

I apologize for writing this huge essay, but once I get going it's hard to stop and there is so. much. more. that I would like to say about this story, but I don't want to clutter the interwebs with my nonsense.

This made me cry, I loved it, it's similar to my situation with my sister and really spoke to me, thankyou for this beautiful peice of sensual art

I read "Alexis, Reprised" before returning to this one to comment. All I can say is I'm positively blown away. This was a really touching story, and one of the all-time best I've read on Literotica. You should really consider building a longer story out of it, or creating a new work, and self-publishing. I'd certainly buy it!

Now I suppose I should offer some criticism. I wasn't particularly pleased with the lack of consistent formatting. Unlike an earlier reader who left a comment about quotation marks and dialogue, I've noticed that many books I've read from British authors tend to use apostrophes rather than quotation marks. And considering some of the wording, I got that. My only problem was lack of commas denoting the break between dialogue and narrative. And, yeah, that's pretty much it.

I also disagree with an earlier comment about separating the erotic and emotional. Sex in itself is just that--sex. The combination of the act itself and the feelings involved are what make "erotica!" I found your story very "stimulating" as it stands! :) It doesn't take a lot of talent to write a good stroke story--no offense to anyone. Just a well-worded description of the mechanics. To breathe life into the characters in the way that you have, so that they live in our hearts more than our loins--so that we care about where they came from before the story and where they may go afterwards--that is a gift. And I hope you will continue to use it.

well done ! I have been on this site for years & this is one of the best , I was not looking for a F/F story but had to read it to the END .

Absolutely amazing, I have been on this site for a long time and this is one of the best stories I have read. Keep writing please.

That was a great story before anything sexual happened. The mark of a really good author.

Well, I could think of couple of nits but 4.999 it is the least.

Just a simple story stretched 10 miles too long

Absolutely masterful storytelling. This tale was so real, so funny, so soulful, and utterly beautiful. I feel like I just got an emotional ass-kicking! Bravo... Thank you for sharing this.

This was a ridiculously great story. I'm struggling to even put it into words at the moment. I would have read this story even without anything remotely sexual within the plot. I have to say, you are truly a wonderful author, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your pieces.

Felt a deep feeling of warmth, and it felt like coming home to something beautiful that should be cherish. Makes a lonely soul feels welcome and loved. Thank you! :)

Thank You!

Second story of yours I've read - brilliant. Beautifully set out and building to a perfect ending.

Reading this while listening to "I'm wondering" by Katherine Train is the best feeling ever. Thanks so much for your efforts.

Sweet.

Oh my, yes! So lovely how both learned something, not just about one another, but themselves in such a loving, caring and totally erotic way. Thank you for the delightful story.

~M

Very well written. You don't skip ahead you really pace yourself and build the story to an amazing climax followed by the sweet conclusion.

really well written. the only critiques i have are that it was a little choppy at the the very beginning and the end had too much ego fucking. keep up the good work though

That was very well written. So loving and gentle between them. Erotic though as well. Really nice development of the story too. You didn't jump into the sex stuff too quick, but built on their relationship and hardship and such. Wow. One of my favorite stories ever.

Wonderful, wonderful story!

What a lovely warm sensual story... very well written... hope u follow and write alot more as im a def fan..

Congrats.

You do Not need to warn readers about gay content, LOL, they are already reading in the incest category. What, suddenly you (idiot anon feedback) have morals or boundaries?!? What a idiot!

Beautiful story,erotic,loving,emotional,wonderful.

If you don,t mind me say your writing reminds me of Scattysue.

I read Slow Dancing first. Then, as I do with writers who impress me, I read all their work chronologically, to access growth, etc. This beautiful story reinforces my opinion that, for stories of this caliber (U.S. English, sorry.), Incest/Taboo should be a subsection of Romance. If Lexi and Robs were life-long best friends, not sisters, the story would not otherwise change and still be a beautiful tale of Love and Awakening, followed by Lust,naturally. Five stars and I rest my case.

Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beautiful is the only word I can use to describe this story. Yes it's humorous. Yes it's erotic. Yes it's well written. But it has that something extra that draws the reader into the emotions and feelings of the characters. The emotions and sensations transfer to the reader. Therefore, it is beautiful. Thank you.

6 out of 5 stars i would give. Beautiful story, erotic as it is but its well written n how romantic it can be. Though i feel gutted as some of the words the author use remind me so.much of a person i cared, i emjoy reading e story. Kudos.

I rarely ever rate five stars but this one was well worth it!! You have a fantastic ability to engage the reader and the story just unfolds from there. I very much look forward to reading more of your work.

An erotic, emotional, story of growth and understanding loved it.

Fantastic. Well written, I felt what these women were feeling, and I don't mean the sex because I'm a guy. I felt them as two passionate women learning to love. Amazing.

I truly laughed, cried and got VERY worked up while reading this. It was extremely well written and very special for me to read! Thanks, and being greedy now, more please!

That was amazing. Regardless that they were sisters the love between them was palpable. Thanks

This story gripped me. Was better than most small novels. The setting, the realism, and the palpable emotions...you should write actual books and/or series. R.

Very well written, it had me hooked. Although it's an erotic story, the love scenes were beautifully done and weren't tacky, and to be honest, even though I was turned on, I couldn't masturbate to the images you painted in my head, the story was just too good to be treated as a cheap thrill. Also, I'm not ashamed to admit as a man that there was a tender moment that gave me a lump in my throat, the love between the sisters was palpable. Many thanks for taking the time to write this for our enjoyment, I look forward to reading your other stories.

Username: SocietySucks.

Another stellar submission . I can't get enough

An amazing love story, that so very well done! Thank you so much for sharing this story with us!

It's been a long time since I've felt so strongly the feelings that you've protrayed through your words. I'm usually a very empathetic person, but my life has been shitty, and so reading your work uplifted me for an hour or so. Thank you so much; you probably can't realize how much that hour's feeling felt good to me.

Both the sweetest story and the most sensual. I felt like I was there.

...beautifully written.

This is a beautiful story of a love set free to grow. Thank you.

Love is simple.

Thank You.

Well written, though I noticed a few typos.

Only thing bugging me is the use of single apostrophes to denote speech, makes it more difficult to read, since it doesn't register right to my eyes, making everything flow together, but I guess that's a regional thing.

Even though I wish everyone would stick to the more widely used Quotation Marks.

You're story was very well written, it pulled me in so I felt like I was in it with the characters. I hope I get to read more of your work soon.

Again, the buildup was slow paced, but couldn't have been any other way. There was just too much of these two characters that wouldn't be understood without it.

And the lovemaking between them couldn't have been any better either, topped off with a loving end.

Another instant Favorite, and a very much deserved 5 Stars.

I don't understand how it took me so long to start reading your stories, as I've seen your name so many times. I'm really glad I have now.

A true diamond in the rough

Loved the setting and hesitancy as the story built and unfolded.

Generally I am not into reading about lesbian relationships and lesbian sex scenes do nothing for me but this was a beautifully written story and the love the sisters had for each other shone through.

Such a wonderful tale, thanks for sharing the story of their love.

J

One of the best love stories on this site !

I am sorry that a 5 is the highest ranking available for this story. I believe out of the dozens of stories I've read on this site that this story ranks #1 of all time. So beautifully written with so much emphesis on the real love between these sisters. Thank you so much for such a beautiful story.

This story was wonderful is many ways...the thoughtful dialogue and carefully chosen words, the character development, the slower pace of the build up, and the emotional connection of the two girls made it super erotic. Loved it!

Incredible. Please keep writing more stories like this.

Touching love story with beautiful girl girl love.

Thank you for sharing it.

nudesailing@yahoo.com

This is definitely the best story I've found on this site, and I'm honestly baffled at how well written it is! Thoroughly impressive, honestly. I love how they poke fun at each other, and have insecurities that consistently come out. And it's so intimate! You drew a very pretty picture to imagine, and it goes beyond words when reading this story starts to feel like a new experience.

Alexis and Robyn are so fucking lovable, and I want to give both of them a huge hug, because they deserve it.

I couldn't agree more with cold_kisss. Look forward to reading more of your stories.

Very well written. Can’t wait to read more of your work.

Joey.

Not really into g/g stories but it was well written. Thanks for sharing.

OnehitWanda is the yardstick against whom all the other authors on this site are judged! Very few come anywhere close, in my opinion.

The warmth of the tale.

I couldn't remember where I read this before. I have thought of it more than once recently and hoped I would find it again. I had decided I was going to read Sketching Sophie again which I did yesterday. Looking over your list of works I decided to continue from the top. I think it took me less than a sentence to recognise what I had found. I'm going to work my way through the rest of your works. It will be time well spent. Thank you!

I enjoyed reading this. But I have to be brutally honest. I realize that it's a guy thing, but I would have enjoyed it better if Alexis and Robyn were both portrayed as bisexual. If they were bi and still decided to be exclusive, then that would have been nice. And Alexis comes off as leaning towards lesbian with a bi vibe. But it seems like a total waste for someone as beautiful as you described Robyn to be not to have even a minor interest in guys. I knew a gorgeous Philippino lesbian when I was 19. It always made me sad that she wouldn't even let me engage in a platonic conversation with her much less than be her friend strictly because I was a man. She was a total heterophobe.

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter nonetheless. I gave it a 4.

Absolutely beautiful story. The previous comment might be one of the single dumbest things I've ever read on this site. Ignore it. Thank you for the stories.

Simply amazed !!!

Wanda your ability to reach out and capture the essence of the characters is amazing. You truly are a very talented aurthor. I have read through all of your stories several times. They move me even though I have read them before. Great stories with great characters. Keep up the great work. Thank you for your being you and remaining true to yourself.

Need to add to more stars. Great story

Perfection. Thank you.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It had great characters and a storyline that was sweet but realistic. And, in contrast to one of the earlier comments, even though I am completely heterosexual, the attitude shown in that feedback is definitely not "a guy thing". It's just sad and pathetic. Keep writing, it was wonderful!

Outside of the first episode of Hard Landing, this may well be the best first story in the history of Literotica.

Generally I find it very difficult to get invested in pure girl-girl stories, but all of your works are special from beginning to end, this one being no exception. Just wanted to make it known how much I appreciate you sharing your art with us.

Brilliant so much love between the two girls especially after the loss of their parents. Well written and no typos, keep up the good work. Ten Stars!

Seven or so years on Literotica and I've only just discovered this story. It has to be the loveliest and most tender story of its particular genre that I've ever read. Too many incest theme tales are nothing short of sleazy but not this one. It is near perfect and its sequel beckons strongly. You should be proud of this, Wanda.

(One carping point, even though it's only fiction: with Robyn's head injury, any alcohol should be strictly verboten, especially a strong malt whisky like Talisker.)

Long but satisfying story the first story or 2022 for me. l loved the romance and the slow buildup that showed they loved each other.

I'm in the same frequency as AmatorVeritatis. I make also mine his/her words.

There's a lot of love in that one little story.

A beautifully crafted well presented story.

Experts tell me that Incest Stories have a higher appeal to readers coz of the naughty factor.

I disagree.

I find Incest stories to be either smutty poor grade rubbish not worth the time wasted reading them. Or else they are like this one an absolute gem.

So I really do enjoy stories like this one of Wanda's that are very well written, good character development, good plot development, plenty of feeling and emotions, all moving at a good even pace, and a hot sexy scene at the end.