by a_little_of_what_you_fancy
Jeepers, if you're going to use the word L-y-c-r-a, don't spell it Lyric.
An editor would help a lot.
Definitely too short. Why go to the strap-on so fast? What about foreplay both ways? How about breasts doing more/having more done to them than just pointing at the ceiling?
Very descritive of the feelings of the moment. Yes, one minute we're looking, the next minute we're invited to join in.
You know, overall I liked this. It could have used a little editting...mostly for the run-on sentances. I think you could have done more with the whole things overall...a tad too short. Good effort though and keep going becasue that is how we improve...we practice. I smell a part two. :)