Blind Leading the Blind Ch. 06

The red lines faded over the course of the weekend until they resembled a strangely patterned sunburn on Monday. Unlike the previous fantasies, they did not talk about this one the next day. The unexpected results had them both at a loss for words, but it was something else that did more to keep them uncharacteristically silent. For George, it was disappointment. This had been his fantasy, yet he did not feel that they had actually done it. Charlene's insisting on him whipping Cherry had stolen something from it. He was reluctant to say anything, given how guilty he had felt for simply writing the thing down.

Charlene wasn't even sure why she didn't want to talk about it. She struggled with how much she had enjoyed the whipping. Yes, it had hurt, but it had been enjoyable too. Now, afterwards, there was something else. Disappointment. The why eluded her. She had actually enjoyed the whipping. She had given George head with no feelings of panic. The orgasm afterwards had been fantastic! Yet, she was disappointed.

The feeling haunted her. Every day, she trolled the submissive blogs to try to make sense of her feelings, both during and after. By the end of the week, she had figured out what sub space was and that she had somehow obtained it. Try as she might, she could not figure out why there was that disappointment. No one on the blogs was sharing such a thing. They shared their struggles with giving up control, their joys when they succeeded and their frustrations when their Masters were absent for any length of time. None of these seemed to apply to her.

Eight days had passed since the whipping. Not only had they not talked about it, they had not touched on the subject of sex and fantasies at all. Charlene's concern about the disappointment had grown so large that she could not avoid sharing it. Saturday morning, after breakfast, she asked George if they could talk.

"I need to talk about the whipping fantasy."

"We have been putting it off. It seems hard to find what to say."

"I've been trying to figure my reactions and I can't pin it down. I actually enjoyed the whipping. It hurt, but was enjoyable as well. I was able to give you a blow job without panic and I had a killer orgasm. But, I'm feeling disappointed in it somehow. I don't know why and I can't imagine a reason that would make sense."

"I had no idea. I can't imagine why you would be disappointed. I should tell you that I was disappointed to, but I know why."

"Why?"

"Because it was Cherry instead of you."

"Was it that important?"

"Yes. Remember, the fantasy was to break the will of a strong woman to mine, to get her to submit. Cherry is a slave and has no will of her own to break. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed what we did, but it wasn't what I originally wanted from the fantasy."

"I wonder if that's why I was disappointed. Because you were."

"Not likely. You didn't know until just now."

"George, I feel like a kid who has gotten her favorite ice cream and still isn't satisfied for some reason. I'm feeling kind of ungrateful."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong."

Charlene wasn't so sure. Still, it was out in the open and she hoped that that would be enough to resolve the problem. It wasn't. The feeling not only did not go away, it got worse. It didn't have a serious effect on the rest of her life, but it did affect sex. She started having difficulty orgasming. She hadn't gone without yet, but it was taking more to achieve climax. George assumed it was a response to the intensity of the fantasies and figured it would pass eventually if they held off form reenacting any more.

Charlene realized that she need some way to ask about her problem, not just read about other people's. She started checking out other types of sites. There was an extensive support system for people into this BDSM thing. Toys and equipment could be ordered online. Advice and instructional sites. Chat rooms. The chat rooms seemed to be what she was looking for. Real time interaction with experienced players.

At first, she lurked. Unlike other chatters, these people seemed to expect that someone might just watch and not respond. After the first couple of times that she did not respond to greetings, she was left alone. Strangely, much of the online conversation had nothing to do with play. They talked about the same sort of things that people talked about in person. She watched them interact, seeing who were friends, who seemed to know what they were talking about, who the jerks were. It was refreshing to see how the chatters that frequented the room would rise to the defense of someone that was being preyed upon. When play was discussed, it was usually a question about something or someone wanting to share some particularly good piece of news. Two weeks after the whipping, she stuck her toe in.

{Hi}

There were several responses that essentially said {Hi lady511} back (lady511 was Charlene's handle). One person, identified as mentor27 said {Hi. Glad you are feeling comfy}

Lady511: thanks. Can I ask questions?

Mentor27: of course. We'd be honored

Lady511: has anyone ever- I don't know how to ask

Hissub63: just type. We know you're a newbie. Worst case-NOYB

Lady511: have you had a good scene and been disappointed later?

Hissub63: no, sorry

Slavebound: subdrop

Mentor27: what kind of disappointment?

Lady511: what's subdrop? Like something went wrong, but was really good, I enjoyed it

Slavebound: missing the good that was after its gone

Mentor27: doesn't sound like subdrop

Hissub63: slavebound's wrong

Mentor27: not now, help the lady-do you know what went wrong?

Lady511: no really frustrated- affecting sex

Hissub63: not good

Mentor27: can you describe scene—briefly

Lady511: embarrassed

Slavebound: we've done all between us, don't be. We're friends and understand

Hissub63; what he said

Goingslave: want to help, don't know who you are

Mentor27: all right—take time if you need

Lady511: it was a whipping fantasy

Hissub63: yeah, we've done those?

Lady511: pretending to make me submit

Mentor27: go on—doing great

Lady511: was painful and enjoyable at same time

Slavebound: floating?

Lady511:yes!

Hissub63: sub space—cool beans—most newbies can't do

Mentor27: anything else

Lady511: had big O

Goingslave: I'll bet!

Mentor27: when disappointment?

Lady511: next day and since

Slavebound: who's fantasy?

Lady511: his

Mentor27: was He disappointed?

Hissub63: did he enjoy?

Lady511: he enjoyed—was disappointed too

Mentor27: why?

Lady511: he wanted me, got Cherry

Mentor27: Cherry?

Lady511: me pretending to be slave

Slavebound: uh oh

Hissub63: not good

Slavebound: you took control?

Lady511: sorry?

Mentor27: hold on guys—it's okay—go private?

Lady511: okay

Charlene and Mentor27 went into private chat mode.

Mentor27: going to get personal—might want privacy

Lady511: thanks

Mentor27: did you expect to enjoy the whipping?

Lady511: no

Mentor27: why do it?

Lady511: needed to

Mentor27: describe need

Lady511: emptiness inside—only way to fill

Mentor27: keep going

Lady511: I needed to give him the fantasy—but more to it

Mentor27: I know—explore—what more?

Lady511: can't—wanted to give him something, can't describe

Mentor27: are you 24/7

Lady511: no—why?

Mentor27: do you want to be?

Charlene leaned back from her key board with a gasp. She had typed "yes" before she realized what she was doing. Looking at the question and her answer, she could not think straight. Is that what she wanted? To be George's slave all the time? She looked at the screen and saw that Mentor27 has typed, "Still there?"

Lady511: still here

Mentor27: can you answer?

Lady511: I think I do—terrified

Mentor27: normal—talk it through

Lady511: I love him—want to be his everything

Mentor27: and now...

Lady511: there's more to give him

Mentor27: yes

Lady511: it's so much

Mentor27: yes it is

Lady511: what do I do?

Mentor27: only you can answer—why disappointed?

Lady511: don't know

Mentor27: yes you do

Lady511: is that what I wanted

Mentor27: I think so—disappointment from taking control you didn't want—you wanted to be broken

Lady511: I'm afraid

Mentor27: I know—normal

Lady511: what do I do

Mentor27: can you go back to before?

Lady511: no

Mentor27: can you stay where you are?

Lady511: no

Mentor27: where's left?

Lady511: go ahead?

Mentor27: yes

Lady511: I need to be broken—be His always

Mentor27: I think so

Lady511: frightened

Mentor27: okay to be—will be better once you are

Lady511: broken is better?

Mentor27: not for all—for natural subs/slaves

Lady511: like me

Mentor27: was this first scene?

Lady511: no

Mentor27: look at others—common factors

Lady511: need to go

Mentor27: okay—glad to help

Charlene logged off. She thought back to the fantasies they had enacted. Being bound. Being taken against her will. Being taken anally. Even the breast fucking and the cum painting were about her being George's plaything, taking pleasure from her. She realized that Mentor27 was right. George himself had said it. He wanted to break her. She had prevented that. It didn't matter what she was being whipped into submitting to. It was that She was doing the submitting. This was the need she had felt. The disappointment was from the need not being filled. Charlene had allowed her fear to deprive both of them of the satisfaction that the fantasy had promised them.

She knew what she had to do. There were two hours before George would get home. She drove to the Erotic Boutique. Inside, she looked at the whips. She chose one with longer lashes made form a harder leather. Looking around, she saw that no one could see her (she didn't notice the shoplifting mirror) and slapped it hard across her leg. It hurt a lot. Just what she wanted. Charlene wanted to not float tonight. She wanted George to put her in so much pain that she would submit to anything. This should do the job. She paid for it and drove home.

When George arrived, he found an unexpected sight. Charlene was waiting for him with the cuffs on. She was still dressed, but was holding a whip, a different whip from the one they had used earlier.

"Charlene, what's going on?"

"George. I think I've figured out why I was so disappointed after the whipping fantasy."

"That's good. Why?"

"I wanted, no, I needed you to break my will, force me to submit to whatever you wanted. I made you whip Cherry. That wasn't what either of us wanted, but I was frightened."

"So, you want to do it again?"

"Not exactly. I want it for real this time. I bought a new whip. This one will hurt, a lot. I won't enjoy it. I want you to demand something from me, anything you want. Then whip me until I give it to you. Don't stop until I give in."

George felt desire and fear rising simultaneously. "Charlene. Do you realize what you're saying?"

"Yes. I want to give you anything and everything. I want you to take from me something I don't want to give you."

"Are there any limits on what I can demand?"

"No." With a shudder she continued, "You can demand that I submit to a daily shower of pee and I know that eventually I will submit to it. You can demand anything at all." She left unspoken what she really wanted him to demand.

"Let me think about it during dinner."

Dinner was quiet. They stayed in their own thoughts. Charlene was strangely at peace with herself. This was right and proper. She could see how the first giving of herself to him as Cherry to overcome her fear of fellatio led to this as an inevitable destination. She loved her husband and would do anything for him, everything for him. George's thought were not so calm. From the moment she had told him what she wanted, one thought had run through his mind. He knew what he wanted, but would she hate him for it? It was such a big thing, the biggest of their lives together. It was seeing her sitting there, serene and at peace with herself and them that decided it.

After dinner, they retired to the bedroom. Without a word between them, Charlene stripped and George tied her in place. Flicking the new whip on his arm, he saw that she was right. This one would hurt. Enjoyment for Charlene was not in the cards, at least not the enjoyment of a physical kind. It was likely she would enjoy it emotionally.

Walking up behind her, he asked, "Are you ready?"

She took a deep breath and answered, "Yes. What do you demand of me?"

There was a pause as he braced himself to say what he wanted. Turning away from both their last chances to back away from this commitment, he lowered his voice and demanded, "Charlene. I demand that you submit as my slave permanently. I want Charlene as my slave at all times, not Cherry."

Charlene let her breath out. A smile crossed her face as she said, "No. I will not be your slave."

"Very well then. When you're ready to submit, the whipping will stop."

George stepped back, raised his hand, and made the first stroke with all his strength. Charlene screamed in pain and ecstasy at the first stroke and all the strokes that followed, until she whispered through her sobs, "I am yours Master."

The End

*

Thanks to D. for her usual bang up job of editing. I hope you enjoyed this story. I will be starting on a sequel story to Valerie entitled "Stranger than Truth". The first chapter should be writeen and up in a couple of weeks, I hope.