Coming to Grips Ch. 02

Although her eyes twinkled at Suzanne's words, Sandy chose to ignore them. "I'm serious. First, I wouldn't last long here if I did. Everyone in the bar is expected to have a level of propriety. If it happens every once in a while, that's accepted. We are human. Second, it takes someone fairly interesting to capture my interest. Women like you don't come along often," she said in a soft voice but one without any intentional seductiveness.

It didn't matter that it wasn't intended. It still made Suzanne's stomach do another flip-flop. "I'm not that good looking," she tried to protest.

"God Suzanne, yes you are. Your face is lovely. You've got an amazing body with a perfect ass sitting on top of incredible legs," Sandy said with a touch of anger. She could tell that Suzanne really felt that way. She wondered who had messed her up like that. "Don't let anyone tell you differently. In any case, I didn't say it takes someone beautiful. I said interesting, and that describes you. You are funny, smart, playful and, yes, beautiful."

Suzanne couldn't help laughing. "I don't know the last time someone called me playful," she said. Then she did. It was Chloe. And before that, it was probably David. A darkness swept over her face.

It wasn't like the little doubt from a few minutes ago. This time she couldn't hide the raw pain. Sandy couldn't help herself. Without thinking, she stood up and hugged Suzanne. For a moment, she was limp in Sandy's arms and then she hugged her back.

"Oh, Babe. What's wrong?" Sandy asked after a little while. "Who hurt you?" Once again, there was a faint hint of anger in her voice, as if Sandy wanted to punish whoever was to blame.

Releasing her grip on Sandy so she could sit back on her stool, Suzanne took a long sip of tequila. She let the mellow fire slowly burn away before answering. "I did. I made choices," she told Sandy. There were tears in her eyes but they were unshed. "I hurt someone I loved to protect someone else that I loved."

Taking one of Suzanne's hands in hers, Sandy said, "Oh. How long ago did this happen?"

"Eight years ago," Suzanne said. She squeezed Sandy's hand and smiled wanly.

"Babe, you were still a girl. You need to forgive yourself. I mean I don't know you. I don't know what happened, but surely you've punished yourself enough!"

In her mind, Suzanne heard her answer. "No, I haven't." She couldn't say it aloud, especially to Sandy. That would mean telling the whole story and she wasn't up for that. She wasn't ready to tell anyone that story yet.

"It's complicated," Suzanne said instead. There was a finality to her words that let Sandy know not to push it any further.

"Okay. I understand. What now? What do you want?" Sandy asked. The anger was all gone. Maybe it was pity for how broken she felt, but Sandy already cared about Suzanne.

"I want to try stepping out of the closet," Suzanne said. "I want you to kiss me, Sandy." Her voice had more certainty than her eyes. The vulnerability there made Sandy pause.

"Are you sure? We don't have to. We can just talk," Sandy told her.

"I'm not saying anything more will happen, but I need you to kiss me," Suzanne answered. This time there was a little bit of fire in her eyes to match her tone.

Hesitating for only another short second, Sandy leaned forward and kissed Suzanne. At first, it was just a light brushing of their lips. Sandy reached up and put her hand behind Suzanne's neck. As she did so, she heard her make a little sigh. Sandy couldn't help the feeling of excitement that ran through her body. She tried to control it, not wanting to push Suzanne too hard. When Suzanne parted her lips, Sandy only let her tongue run along them.

It wasn't enough for Suzanne. For the first time that night, she took the role of initiator. Her hands slipped behind Sandy's back and pulled her close as she plunged her tongue into Sandy's mouth. Her lips came down hard on Sandy's. This time it was Sandy who moaned. Her lips tightened around Suzanne's tongue so that she could suck on it. Sandy brought her other hand behind Suzanne's neck while she pressed her body against the other woman. She felt Suzanne's hand slip down lower to cup her butt. Sandy could feel her arousal quickly building.

Despite that, Sandy still held back a little. The vulnerability Suzanne showed a few moments before was still fresh in her mind. She molded almost her whole body against Suzanne's, except for the one place that she wanted to the most. Sandy wanted desperately to grind against Suzanne's mound, but she held back. More than that, she didn't answer the arching of Suzanne's back as she tried to find that contact. "Once we do that, I am not sure we can stop," Sandy told herself.

The kiss went on for a while. Increasingly Sandy started to take control of it and slow it down. Finally, Suzanne pulled away with confusion in her eyes. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, Babe. Nothing is wrong," Sandy said before giving Suzanne another kiss; one that was active but continued to keep the pace relaxed. As it ended, she stroked one of Suzanne's cheeks. Her eyes sought out Suzanne's. "I just want to slow things down. As you've said, it's been a while and a little bit ago, you weren't sure you were ready." Once again, she leaned forward and kissed Suzanne. This time it was tender with virtually none of the passion that had been there few minutes before.

Now that there was a pause, the doubts Suzanne had felt earlier started to creep back into her thoughts. Not about Sandy, her hesitation was entirely on whether to start taking steps down this path. It wasn't her promise. In her anger at her father, the strength of it was broken in her heart even if not yet fully in deed. The power of it, though, had never been in the words. The real power was in her love for her parents and the thought of being cut off from them. That power still existed.

Suzanne was realizing that there was a bigger difference between the two things than she thought. It was one thing to do something here on the other side of the country where it was hidden from them. Whatever happened tonight with Sandy would never get back to them. It would be her secret. The real question was once she tasted even a little of it, could she continue to deny who she was back home? Knowing the consequences with her parents, would she be able to put the genie back in the bottle and stop it up?

What had started as a harmless flirtation now had taken on a much bigger meaning. "It's late; I've had a long day; and I've drunk a little too much. I'm not ready to decide this tonight," Suzanne thought to herself.

Reaching out, Suzanne touched Sandy's cheek. "I wish I was staying more than one night, Sandy. Maybe with a little more time ...," she said, trailing off. Feeling as if she owed Sandy a little more, Suzanne continued. "It hasn't just been a long time. I'm not closeted so much as denying. It's complicated."

Giving Suzanne a sympathetic smile, Sandy nodded. "It usually is," she told her. "It shouldn't be, but it is the way it is. I just hate to see you torn this way." She gave Suzanne a long look. "Family?"

Finding it hard to say anything else, Suzanne just nodded.

"We've all gone through it to one degree or another," Sandy said and then leaned forward to give Suzanne a long hug. "Seems like yours is on the worst degree," she said as she released Suzanne. As she did that, she brushed her lips against Suzanne's. The passion of earlier had completely evaporated. What was left was a heartfelt tenderness. Sandy's hand sought out Suzanne's so that she could give it a little squeeze.

"Hey, Babe. You've got work in the morning. Why don't we get you up to your room?" Sandy suggested.

"I feel ..." Suzanne started to say, but Sandy interrupted her. She could tell what Suzanne was going to say from the look on her face.

"No, don't! You didn't lead me on. You didn't let me down. I had a good time with a lovely woman, who needed someone understanding tonight. You didn't need anything more tonight," Sandy said firmly. "Now let me just lock up, and I will walk you to your room."

Suzanne watched as the redhead went about the business of putting the till in the safe and shutting everything else down. Even though the mood was broken, she admired her beauty. That felt odd, in itself. She never gave herself permission to look openly at another woman that way. "It's almost feels dirty," Suzanne thought to herself. "But I still like it."

It did not take long for Sandy to finish. Suzanne got up and met her at the door. Facing her, Suzanne put her arms around Sandy and embraced her. They were both quiet as they hugged. Taking a deep breath, Suzanne enjoyed how Sandy smelled. It was a softer scent that with the men she had dated, a blending of her perfume and her body that smelled so good that she had to sigh. As they slowly parted, Suzanne paused for a second with her hands on Sandy's hips.

"Thank you for understanding. I know the night didn't end like you planned," Suzanne told her.

Giving her that dazzling smile, Sandy shook her head. "Babe, I didn't have anything planned tonight so there is nothing to feel bad about. I got to spend an evening with you. I enjoyed it." She kissed Suzanne and this time there was a little more to it. While the passion didn't reach the levels of earlier, Suzanne could feel her desire stoked once again. Rather than letting it continue to build though, Sandy pulled back and ended it. "Just take steps one at a time, Suzanne," Sandy said as she leaned her forehead against Suzanne's.

As much as Suzanne wanted to say something, she was still too uncertain about what she would do. In the end, she just nodded. Sandy gave her a warm smile and then slid her arm around Suzanne's waist as they went out the door.

For the first minute of walking like that, Suzanne felt a wave of close to panic. She managed to keep it under control. It was the first time ever in her life that she walked in public with a woman's arm around her. There were almost no people around with the late hour, and those that were paid no attention. That didn't stop her from feeling very self-conscious. She felt relieved when Sandy took a slightly less direct route to the elevator. Although Sandy wasn't too worried, she also didn't care to draw attention to how she was walking with a guest. It just made it easier for everyone to ignore.

Still, after that first minute Suzanne started to relax and appreciate the sensation of being with Sandy, especially the way their bodies touched as they walked. It felt so nice. There was also a rightness to it, as if it was natural. The longer she walked with Sandy, the more Suzanne relaxed. As they waited for the elevator, she leaned her head over and rested it against Sandy's head.

"I wonder if she will kiss me again in the elevator," Suzanne thought. The renewed passion from their last kiss still lingered. On one hand, she hoped that Sandy would. She liked how it felt to be actually aroused. On the other hand, Suzanne thought ruefully, "It's late and I am going to pay for being up this late. Getting worked up won't make it any easier to get to sleep."

The elevator dinged and they walked in. Now they were once again in a space to themselves. Turning around, Sandy's arm left Suzanne's waist as they turned around. Rather than just putting it back, Sandy surprised her by stepping in front of her and grabbing Suzanne's hands. She backed up against Suzanne and wrapped Suzanne's arms around her.

Turning her head so she could look back at Suzanne, Sandy smiled a little. "I would have held you like this, but you are tall enough that this works better. Plus I love being held like this."

Suzanne gave Sandy's cheek a little kiss. "I don't mind at all. It feels nice to hold you like this," she said. When the short ride ended, Suzanne sighed a little as Sandy stepped away. She missed the feeling of her body.

Taking the initiative, Suzanne reached out and took Sandy by the hand. Their fingers entwined and they leaned their bodies against one another as they walked the short distance to Suzanne's door. Once again, Suzanne acted first. Pulling Sandy into her arms, she gave her a deep kiss. It was long and very slowly building. Neither one of them let it get out of hand. Almost together, they pulled back.

"Do you want to come in? I mean just for a little bit?" Suzanne asked in a hesitant voice. Although she wasn't ready to go much further, she hated the thought that the evening was ending.

Sandy leaned forward and brushed her lips against Suzanne's. "I don't think so, Suzanne. I'm fine with how things are. You need a little time and my coming in might make you want to shortcut that. Like you said, too bad you aren't here another night," she said with a little look of regret. "You might feel ready to take another step tomorrow."

Pressing their bodies together, the two women gave each other a long hug. As they let go, Sandy smiled at Suzanne. "I can give you my phone number. If you are ever in town again, or if you just need to talk, you could call me."

"That would be nice," Suzanne said with a smile of her own. She let Sandy put the number in her cell phone and created a contact. "Thank you for a wonderful night, Sandy. I really wish I was ready for more."

"It was great just the way it was," Sandy replied. "It was my pleasure getting to know you, Babe. Sleep tight!" They kissed one last time and then Sandy turned and walked back to the elevator. Before rounding the corner, she looked back and blew Suzanne a kiss. It wasn't until Suzanne heard the elevator close that she opened her door and went into her room.