Finding Amy

This young woman had shown some very interesting behavior quirks during her interview on channel nine a few days earlier and she was very much looking forward to deciphering some of them in person.

Ashley Thomson was smartly dressed in a feminine blue skirt-suit and jacket. Her hair and make-up were practically flawless.

As Wendy Taft took her place behind her desk she was greeted with those same dark eyes she had seen in the photo only a minute or so earlier.

Ashley Thomson was a striking woman and also a puzzle at the same time. Practically a therapist's dream.

"Firstly I want to say how much I admire what you're doing Ashley.....may I call you Ashley?"

"Yes that's fine, and thank-you for helping me."

"Oh it's my pleasure" Wendy Taft smiled before continuing "I have looked through the information you sent me and I think I can give you some useful information."

"Thank-you Dr Taft, any help you can give me would be wonderful."

"Please, call me Wendy" She replied once again flashing her trademark smile to Ashley.

"Okay....well...thank-you Wendy."

Wendy Taft reached into her left breast pocket and withdrew a pair of expensive looking reading glasses. She then began sifting through the file on her desk before pulling out a page marked with a post-it note.

"I'm interested in Amy's letter to you Ashley, specifically her reference to Jeff and their broken engagement. When was the engagement ended and how would you describe Amy's state of mind after-ward?"

Ashley shifted nervously in her chair before answering.

"It happened about six months before she left and it almost killed her."

"Go on." Dr Taft urged.

"Well I'm not sure what else to say. Jeff was a bastard. He broke the engagement only 2 weeks before the marriage date. It took a long time to bring Amy out of that, but we got there in the end."

"You used the term 'we'. So it's fair to say that it caused you a lot of distress as well?"

"Of course, Amy is my best friend. It upset me to see her so unhappy."

"Yes of course" Dr Taft replied, her voice tinged with compassion.

"Did Amy ever exhibit mood swings or emotional fluctuations over the years that you have known her?"

"Who doesn't" Ashley replied sharply.

"Fair point" Dr Taft sensed she had just hit upon a sore spot so she pressed a little harder. "How about in the weeks and months just after her break up with Jeff. Did those mood swings increase?"

"Of course they did. Her heart was broken." Ashley shot back.

She appeared realize straight away that her tone was perhaps a little too harsh and she seemed embarrassed by her own reaction.

"Look I'm sorry Dr Taft, It's just that I'm not sure where this is going."

"It's quite alright Ashley you deserve some answers and I will try my best to help you with that."

She took off her reading glasses and closed the folder on her desk. Looking Ashley squarely in the face she began to explain, at length, her conclusions so far.

"In my opinion.....and this is just educated conjecture mind you, your friend Amy Price was exhibiting classic Bi-Polar behavior.

This behavior may have been quite mild up until recently, but this broken engagement with Jeff clearly lit a huge fire inside her and those Bi-Polar tendencies were greatly exaggerated."

"What does that mean exactly?" Ashley asked sounding a little disturbed.

"It means that you can't count on her to make rational decisions. A person who suffers from massive emotional swings is classically a slave to those emotions.

When she is on a high she will feel unstoppable and even be prone to wild risk taking. When she is at a low point she may even be on the verge of suicide."

"Oh my god" Ashley replied in shock.

"I suspect that you and your friend Amy are more alike than you realize."

"What exactly are you trying to tell me Dr Taft, that I'm a manic depressive or something?"

There was real venom in Ashley's voice. She clearly didn't like what she was hearing and Wendy Taft could almost sense the emotional wall that Ashley had just thrown up to protect herself.

"You don't know me or Amy well enough to say something like that, and to be honest, I'm a little insulted by that comment."

Wendy Taft was almost shocked by how quickly Ashley Thomson had switched and gone onto the offensive then.

Actually it was quite fascinating.

Miss Thomson was clearly a very strong and loyal woman with some very robust mechanisms for dealing with any kind of threat.

Wendy Taft had even given a lecture or two on such women in the past.

She had used the term 'Lioness' as an analogy back then. Calm on the outside, but quick to strike out at any perceived threat to her or her family.

She had seen this kind of woman many times before. They almost always appeared to be strong, resolute and almost unbreakable....but...the woman underneath that tough exterior was in most cases usually quite fragile.

"All I'm saying Ashley, is please be careful. I don't think you realize just how much this situation has affected you. I'm not necessarily saying you are Bi-Polar or manic, but I do think that you are very vulnerable right now."

"I'm not crazy Dr Taft, I'm just trying to find my friend."

"I know Ashley I'm just trying to help you cope with that."

"You can help me cope by telling me how to find Amy."

Wendy Taft paused momentarily before changing her approach. Any kind of conflict at this point was nothing more than a barrier between her and Miss Thomson. It served no purpose. She needed to reconnect with this woman as fast as possible if she was going to get past that tough 'Lioness' exterior of hers.

"In my opinion if Amy is trying to hide from the world she will most likely be somewhere close, somewhere familiar and comfortable. A small town perhaps."

"Okay well that's useful" Ashley replied.

Dr Taft paused and thought hard for a few moments before asking the question that had been nagging her for a long time.

"Please forgive me for asking Ashley, but given the obvious distress this is causing you, was there perhaps some kind of romantic connection between you and Amy?"

"Absolutely not! I am not a lesbian Dr Taft. Amy is my best friend."

There was no hint of deception in Ashley's voice and Wendy Taft was certain she was telling the truth.

She had one other theory that would explain Miss Thomson's behavior and she wasted no time in asking her follow up question.

"How old were you when your mother passed away?"

"How on earth would you know that. Have you been checking up on me?"

"Call it a professional hunch." Wendy Taft said with some satisfaction.

"I lost both my parents when I was eleven but I don't see how that's relevant."

6

Session Notes: January 3rd

Therapist: W J Taft

Client: Miss Ashley Thomson

Time of Session : 9am

Completed initial one hour session with Ashley Thomson.

The main purpose of this session was to conduct a basic profile of her friend Amy Price using all information available. It is hoped that this profile will assist Miss Thomson in locating Amy Price who has been missing for approximately one year.

Events prior to the disappearance of Miss Price indicate a strong possibility of Bi-Polar disorder.

A failed relationship and broken engagement six months earlier would most likely have exacerbated these tendencies.

There is a chance that Amy Price may still be alive but the balance of probability suggests that some form of misadventure has taken place.

Miss Ashley Thomson exhibited signs of deep emotional stress during the session. Clearly an obsessive personality and an inability to deal with loss. She lost both parents tragically at an early age, therefore the loss of someone so close to her (particularly a female) has hit her particularly hard.

Her persistence is admirable, but I fear that the personal toll on her would be immense should it come to light that Amy Price has in fact met with an unfortunate end.

Close tabs should be kept on Ashley Thomson and extensive counseling recommended should the conclusion of this situation be an unhappy one.

7

The session with Dr Taft just left Ashley feeling empty.

While it was true that she had seen Amy go through some pretty extreme mood shifts towards the end, it was quite another thing to hear her best friend of 20 years described as Bi-Polar with suicidal tendencies.

It honestly felt as if Dr Taft had been analyzing her instead of focusing on Amy and how to find her.

Ashley had started work at the publishing house a little late that day because of that appointment with Dr Taft. It meant that she had needed to work till 7pm that night just to make up the time she had lost.

When she finally got back to her apartment that night she tried not to think about what she had been told earlier. It was all a little too much to process right now.

She switched on the television in her living-room and made sure the volume was loud before walking into the bathroom and running a hot shower.

It was a ritual Ashley performed almost every night. She had lived alone for a couple of years now but the silence of her empty apartment still bothered her. At least with the television on in the background she could hear the voices coming from it and not feel so alone.

It hadn't always been this way.

Much like Amy, she too was poised to walk down the aisle once, and she too had been jilted by her fiancée.

Kyle.

That colossal prick.

How dare he do that to her. Even now, three years later, it still stung.

When Jeff bailed on Amy it was like history repeating itself. She knew what a nightmare that experience was and she was determined to be Amy's savior and get her friend through it.

Ashley thought that was exactly what she had done.

When she received that letter from Amy it was like was a double blow to her.

She had failed her friend and had now lost her because of it too.

No matter how she tried to rationalize it all, it still felt to Ashley that she was partly to blame for all of this.

She should have done something different.

She should have been a better friend.

If she had, then Amy never would have left.

The warm water felt soothing as she lingered under the shower and she finally felt some of her tension begin to lift.

She watched as the rivulets of moisture formed together and then ran down her body like tiny rivers.

Ashley was no longer in her apartment then.

Instead she was standing naked and exposed on a beautiful windswept beach.

Not another human soul for miles, just her. The wind swirling around her, tussling her hair into straggly little ribbons.

The metallic smell of ozone hanging in the air as a lightning storm made it's way toward her across the water.

She was not afraid, just the opposite, she longed for that storm to reach her.

She felt the wind lash at her bare skin and saw the surface of the water swirl and change as the rain moved toward the shore.

Ashley raised her hands to the sky to greet the rain as it began to dapple her skin, making every inch of her body feel alive.

That was her dream.

One day she would find that place, and when she got there she would raise her arms to the sky and greet the rain as it came to meet her.

When she finally stepped from the shower Ashley Thomson was a new woman. She felt cleansed in almost every way. She lightly padded her body with a towel before fetching a white flannel bathrobe from her bedroom closet and fastening it loosely around her waist.

"Hell I almost forgot the most important part" She said to herself as she did an about face and headed toward the kitchen.

There was a reasonably expensive bottle of New Zealand sauvignon blanc in the refrigerator that needed to be opened and tonight was the perfect night to do it.

She poured a generous glass before re-corking the bottle and heading back to the bedroom.

"Okay I can do this now" Ashley reassured herself as she fluffed up the pillows on her bed before getting comfortable and reaching for her 'Mac-Book Pro' on the bedside table.

She swallowed a large gulp of wine and then began to sort through the last of the new e-mails that she had generated from that horrid interview on channel nine's 'news-watch'.

To her surprise Ashley found that she was actually enjoying the experience.

There was something comforting in being well known, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. Feeling the weight of so many people's thoughts focused in her direction was a new and not altogether bad experience.

She felt somehow lighter, as if the force of gravity itself had decided to go easy on her tonight.

Maybe she had finally done enough. Maybe it was okay to just let go of it now.

Just like before, most of the messages were supportive and even touching, and yes, she even clocked up one more marriage proposal!

"Only thirty-one messages to go" Ashley announced to herself as she took another sip of wine.

The final few messages became a mixed bag.

They ranged from touching to pornographic.

Apparently there were a few men out there that thought that sending Ashley a picture of their penis was somehow helpful.

Rather than be shocked, she couldn't help but chuckle to herself whenever she opened one of those.

"Ten to go" Ashley informed her empty apartment as she opened the next message to find it almost blank except for a web-link which she clicked immediately.

"Great...more porn" Ashley sighed as she briefly took in the image before moving to delete it.

Ashley Thomson held her wine glass in her free hand and was in mid gulp when her life suddenly changed.

She sharply drew her hand back from the delete button as something caught her eye.

Her mind did an instant double-take as it registered something familiar and then re-checked it automatically.

Her heart seemed to stop and her eyes got wide.

She wasn't aware that the wine glass had fallen from her fingers. It bounced lightly on the mattress as it emptied its contents on her bed sheets and tumbled further before shattering as it hit the hard-wood floor.

Again her mind began to check and re-check as it processed what it saw, each time confirming the last.

Something approaching disbelief passed through Ashley.

To say that she was shocked didn't communicate the feeling.

To say that she was horrified didn't convey the depth.

There was no word for what she felt and no label for what she was experiencing. No. this was something brand new. An emotion with no precedent and no name.

8

Ashley found herself staring 'open-mouthed' at a web page and a large image.

To be exact, it was a profile page, and it was the member picture on that page that held her attention like a vice.

It was a photo of a female with her face and head 'cropped' out of frame.

The rest of the image revealed a girl kneeling up-right on a stripped-down mattress in a dark and cheap looking hotel room.

She called herself 'Angel'.

Her profile name was 'fallen_angel5'.

Ashley's eyes scanned the website address at the top of the page before she continued to process the image.

'thedarkpalace.com'

To be honest if Ashley hadn't been so shocked at that moment she might have thought the image was quite striking, beautiful even.

The girl had her back arched and her chest thrust forward provocatively as she knelt on the mattress.

Both arms were drawn back sharply behind her back giving the impression they were bound together by something.

Her upper body was cinched into a tight, black see-through corset and her impressive cleavage practically spilled out over the top.

The sheer, lacy triangle of a thong barely concealed her womanhood and her knees were spread to shoulder width in that slightly uncomfortable looking kneeling position.

Around her neck she wore an antique looking cameo pendant with intricate lattice work.

To be more precise, she was wearing Amy's pendant. Ashley had never seen another like it. It was an heirloom passed down from Amy's grandmother and it was a one of a kind.

She loved that pendant and there was no way she would part with it willingly.

"It can't be her.....it just can't be" Ashley mouthed to herself in disbelief.

But there was one other detail that was almost as shocking which seemed to confirm the answer

Amy had a tattoo.

It was a tiny green clover leaf on her left ankle.

The photo wasn't very clear but Ashley could definitely see a small green mark exactly where it was supposed to be.

Once the initial shock began to fade, she just sat there quiet and still.

Without the slightest bit of warning and without even knowing why she suddenly began to weep as the emotion of that moment overtook her.

"Oh Amy...It's you...It's really you....I knew I'd find you."

Part 2. - The Downward Spiral

"I hurt myself today to see if I could feel. I focused on the pain, the only thing that's real".

'Hurt', Nine Inch Nails.

1

Ashley didn't sleep at all that night.

She at least had the presence of mind to know she was in no state to go to work the next morning.

She called in sick.

Her boss Michael could barely disguise his frustration. Ashley knew her absence that day would place even more stress on an already overworked team, but she needed some time to get her mind right.

The more she looked at the profile, the more she was convinced that 'fallen_angel5' was Amy.

The term 'Fallen Angel' couldn't have described things better.

The thoughts and desires expressed on her profile were explicit and extreme. Most of them were just plain dangerous.

A collection of the most sordid and extreme fantasies.

The kind of thoughts that most women would never admit to even if they had them.

But Amy had gone beyond that.

She had taken the next step.

She had decided to make them real.

"Slow down this time", Ashley told herself calmly.

"Just take your time and learn as much as you can."

She followed her own advice this time and tried to absorb everything she could.

Where before she had skimmed through that shocking profile, she now lingered on every word and every detail.

With each reading there was a new discovery and a corresponding shock that came with it.

Her disbelief slowly gave way to astonishment and even a touch of admiration.

She had no idea Amy had such ideas or was even capable of them.

'thedarkpalace' was essentially a dating site, but with a huge difference.

At first glance it seemed to be devoted to sexual bondage and control but as Ashley read further she realized it was much broader in scope.

It seemed at its core to be about connecting people who desire to be controlled with the people who want to control them, and that control could take almost any form. Anything that was alternative or even forbidden seemed to be catered for in some way.

The tag line underneath the site banner read 'where dark souls come together'.

That tacky double-entendre would normally have made Ashley's eyes roll if her mood hadn't been so serious.

This was another world entirely.

Amy had never been into this kind of thing in the past. If she had then Ashley would have known.......wouldn't she?

The wheels began to turn in Ashley's head and she didn't like the conclusions she was coming to. The scariest thing was how much all this was beginning to make sense.

Maybe Amy did have a secret life.

A life she didn't want people to know about.

If that was true then it would explain a lot of things.

Suddenly an idea crossed her mind and a surge of hope came with it.

She cursed herself for not thinking of it sooner and she scanned the profile looking for the latest log-in date.

June 16th.

Just over six months ago. Ashley was bitterly disappointed but it was better than nothing.