by AbbeFaria
This story has it all: sensual, erotic, intrigue & danger, and poetic justice. You really have a future all-time highest rated story brewing here. Looking forward to more chapters !
Okay, so what we have , here, is a little 'morality play' with the Greek/Roman(?) gods set up to be the good guys, the Egyptian gods set up to be the bad guys & the AmerIndian gods (I'm familiar with all of 'em so far: Coyote(the Trickster), Raven(I don't recall what he was god of), Aphrodite(goddess of Beauty {& other things....}), Hermes(the Greek messenger god & etc) & ZEUS(the 1st Greek god, he did defeat the Titans & all the other Greek gods were 'born' from his head[short version]. Question: are you going to involve any other pantheons(Norse, IndiaIndian, etc)? There are literally TONS of 'em...? Every civilization we've ever had!
Dude,
You should spend your time writing this into a novel! I'd buy it in a heartbeat!
Bill
Plus I love the way he thinks of the funniest jokes but doesn't say them out loud for fear of being kicked in the balls.
Oh yeah the whole hype up Aphrodite then say in short she gave you a boner was a classic. More please more
Awesome story mate... Keep up the good work, keeping writing more. Its good to finally read something that has a great storyline and some nice fuck lines.... The other comment was right.... Put this shit in a book, I would buy it
Great story so far, cant wait for the next chapter when he starts to have some more fun with the other mere mortals.
Just great! As they say on Ocean Avenue in Brooklyn.
"What's not to like?"
please, please, learn to use the word "than." It has a different meaning altogether than "then." Also, "knew" is different from "new," no matter how much alike they sound. The little things like that can throw me out of a good story just when I'm getting into it.
I love these stories - they are my favourites so far - so intriguing that I almost skip past the sex to get to the rest!
The only minor point is that some misprints have crept in - if you don't have a beta-checker and want one I'll be glad to help - the reward of reading your new stories is enough :)
A
Then and than seems to be a common problem for many writers.
Be care full with anger of the gods if you continue to spell their names wrongly.
Zeus it is.
I like your story
Very good. A good twist on a very old concept.
Coyote left, however, without telling our hero how to contact him if he was needed. That seemed to be a failure on the part of the original God but every God seems to also forget. The Devil is in the details but is it a common trait in every God?
Yes, Hermes was a louse for not fully briefing our hero but damn...
The poor spelling and grammar is extremely distracting from the good story.