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Click hereIt was now approaching 10:30PM. The lust in the party room was reaching a crescendo and there was a sense that the next scene was going to be the best yet. Leah had never felt like this before. On one hand, she was utterly satiated but her senses had now reached a point where she needed more and knew she was going to get it.
The soft gong sounded for the next scene.
To be continued... if you like this! We're only part way through day two of Leah's year-long adventure. Tell me your plans for Leah!
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 12 years agoLove this! It's super well written. You're just like Leah - you make everything seem so fun and voluntary that I love every scene you've written!
Anonymousover 12 years agoNot usually a fan of stories with mmf or gangbangs with guys, but this is so well written and so erotic it just doesn't matter! I can't wait to read the rest of Leah's adventures!
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoThis was good, but it was so watersport-heavy that maybe it should have been in the Fetish category? I avoid that category because watersports squick me out, so I didn't expect to find it in an exhibitionist/voyeurism story. It was still good enough that I gave it four stars, though.
formazeover 15 years agoI've been reading this from chapter 2 and found it very cool. The whole idea is great. Keep up the good work and rock those babes silly.
stevieraygovanover 15 years ago...this from becoming wildly repetitive and, ultimately, very boring. Literally and figuratively you've pretty much already shot your wad here. Initially I was loving her verbal description teases and her "first time" sexual experiences but the sex scenes are already starting to run together into a blur. Adding more bodies isn't going to change the fact that the sex scenes are already losing their impact. It's only Chapter I and I was already beginning to get bored enough that I found myself scrolling right through the last couple pages worth of sex acts and piss moppery.<p>
That's not a good sign, and it certainly doesn't bode well for future chapters.<p>
These things, they're sort of like a zombie film. When the first zombie or two appears, that's scary. Ooooh, zombies! They make us jump. When a few more show up we're still scared as we watch Our Heroes fight them off and/or hide from them. Eventually though there's always the inevitable scene where Our Heroes have to make a run for it, right through a sea of zombies. They kill zombies left and right and we see zombies everywhere acting like, well, zombies.<p>
No biggie, at that point. They're just a generic enemy which must be avoided or killed. Doesn't even matter anymore that they're zombies. They could be locusts, or enemy mortar fire, or alien space ship lasers. The zombies become so common that they simply become story props. They're no longer terrifying. They're just fucking annoying!<p>
Point being, we're only a day or two into Leah's new lifestyle and you've already begun to seriously de-sensitize the reader to her wonderful sluttiness. If you attempt to keep this up through an entire year's sexual advent calendar this story will ultimately end up becoming the least exciting sex story ever written. Given enough redundancy you will soon remove every last vestige of Leah's ability to titillate, at which point this story will be like reading a porn phone book.<p>
Also, let's face it, at the rate she's going she's going to become seriously ill. She may be beautiful but her body wasn't designed to be a human toilet. Hepatitis doesn't discriminate between the fugly and the beautiful. Pile on enough of these unprotected sex and bodily functions activities and it won't be long until our dear Leah ends up like Monty Python's parrot.<p>
Great story though so far, at least to a point. Had you just slowed it down a bit and built it up a little more gradually I would've given it the full 100 score. It was really well written. The descriptions of Leah and the imagination displayed in her various sex acts was excellent so I couldn't give this one less than a 75.<p>
Just be careful though. If the next chapter simply continues on with what's already becoming a laughable sexual Olympics fantasy starring Leah as a bodily fluids depository version of Michael Phelps I have little doubt that this story will quickly become a surefire cure for chronic insomnia...
