No One Can Ever Love Me

So you see, I cannot ever have another relationship. Not without infecting my partner. You cannot love me. Nobody can. If you want me to leave, I will. Just take me back to my old apartment, or maybe even to my parents."

"Sweetheart, the fact is I do love you. I cannot imagine the thought of you not being here with me. Let me call in to the office and take the rest of the day off."

John called the SAC (special agent in charge) and took a day of leave. He had an idea.

"Caitlyn, I am not sure where you got your information, but people with herpes can have a normal or mostly normal relationship with non-infected people. I have fallen in love with you, but am afraid to scare you off. I noticed you never dated. I just figured it was because where you work and always getting hit on. I doubt you feel the same way about me but I can always hope.

I do have a friend of mine that I would like you to see. His name is Bob. Dr. Bob Frost. Yea, kind of like the poet. He was a flight surgeon in the military. We met while I was on active duty. Let me call him and see if you can see him."

"John, you are the most kind and sweetest man I have ever known. You have taken in a complete stranger who is almost destitute and made her feel like there is hope. You have never even tried to hit on me or force me to do anything. Any girl, me included would be lucky to be with you. I love you too but am afraid that without a sex life, we cannot be together." If your friend can help, I would like to explore this more."

She came to me and hugged me. I leaned down and we kissed. It was a light slightly romantic kiss on the lips. The first one we ever shared. I called Bob and he agreed to see us right after lunch.

We went into Bob's office. Caitlyn explained what had happened. Bob explained that sex between out breaks is perfectly ok. There is a higher risk with unprotected sex but it is still possible, as long as everyone knows the risk. She can even bear children though the risk for complications is higher and may even require a C-section for delivery. He said, "I am not an OB-GYN but if you want I will do some blood work, and examine you. It will be free of charge, though it will cost ugly here at least one beer." We all laughed at that.

Bob showed them to an exam room. A couple of minutes later, the nurse, a woman in her mid 30's walked in. She was about 4'11 and weighed about 90 pounds. She was a cute little thing. John immediately stood up, walked over and grabbed her and gave her a hot soul searing kiss. It lasted a good thirty seconds until Bob walked in. He pulled John back and punched him in the stomach and said "I told you to leave Francine alone doofus."

As John was bending over, He grabbed him in a choke hold and told him "And I told you if you ever did that again, I would break your fucking neck." They both began to laugh.

Caitlyn jumped up and ran out of the room. Francine followed her.

"What the hell was that all about? How well do you know John? Are you two having some kind of affair?"

Francine stared at Caitlyn and asked "how much do you know about Doofus and the Air Force?"

"Just that he was a pilot and did two tours in the Middle East. Why are you calling him a Doofus"

"Let me tell you a story and give you some background. I met Bob, who is now my husband, while we were stationed in Kandahar. He is a surgeon and I am a surgical nurse. John was stationed there as part of the transport squadron. Bob and I worked closely together and eventually fell in love. We married once we were state side.

One day while John and Bob were eating in the mess (dining hall), an RPG hit the mess hall. Everyone scrambled to get out and take cover. No one knew if more attacks were coming. On his way out, Bob fell and twisted his ankle. Sniper fire was everywhere.

When John saw Bob lying on the ground outside and unable to get up, he fell on top of him. John took two rounds to the ass. It sounds funny, but if probably saved Bob's life. He could not sit for about a month after is surgery, having to either lye on his stomach or stand. It took him almost two months to fly again.

John was awarded the Purple Heart for his wounds and a Bronze star for his heroic actions. Afterward, Bob called John a Doofus for doing what he did and word got around. Doofus became his new call sign. We all became the best of friends. John is the most humble and selfless person I have ever met. In answer to your question, no, Doofus and I are not having an affair. He is however, the only man other than my husband that I allow to kiss me like that."

"Have you guys ever?"

"No. That being said, we have all been nude together in the hot tub at our house. He used to come with Heather when we were on leave, before the bitch up and left. I have not seen him take to any women like he has with you. I can see it in his eyes and the way he goes into protective mode around you. If you let him, you can be good for each other."

Francine led Caitlyn back into the room and gave her a gown to put on. John said "I will leave to give you some privacy."

"John, please stay for a minute. There is something I would like to do. Francine explained your relationship and how it came about. If I am going to be examined by your friend, I want you to be the first to see me nude before the doctor sees me in all my glory."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And can you also stay for the exam. Please?"

Caitlyn then began to slowly undress. First she took off her top and then her jeans. She stood in just her underwear. She slowly turned to model herself for John. He was beginning to swell in his pants. It was a bit of a tight fit for him. Next off came her bra. Her nipples were a nice brown about the size of a quarter. Her 34 b's had just a small bit of sag but looked delicious. John reached out a bit and Caitlyn took his hands and placed them on each tit. He gently messaged them for just a few seconds. Then the panties were removed. She has a furry but neatly trimmed bush. Her outer labia were quite large. John was tempted to reach out but thought better. At least till after the exam.

Bob conducted the exam. He said "Everything looks good but you should get yourself a gynecologist for regular checkups. I would strongly recommend some counseling also."

"I can't really afford that right now. I am just making ends meet."

"I have a colleague that may be able to help. I will give her a call."

After leaving Bob's they went for lunch and back home. Caitlyn was quiet on the ride back to the house. Finally in her little girl voice she asked "Were you serious about loving me?"

"I meant every word."

"Can we see where this goes? Will you really be my boyfriend? I know you are an important government agent and way above me. I am just a high school graduate with nothing to offer but a painful past. I may never fit in your circles but at least for the time being, until you grow tired of me, I would like us to be a couple. It will give me a new start."

"I will never grow tired of you. Welcome to my world and all that goes with it."

They kissed and just held each other for the longest time.

Later that night, as they were getting ready for bed, Caitlyn looked up at John and asked "Can I sleep with you tonight? I don't think I am ready for sex, but it would be nice to be held."

"You can sleep with me tonight or any other night. You tell me when you are ready for the next step. Hell you can move in if you want or stay in your own room. It is your choice. There is no hurry."

Caitlyn woke up the next morning with a big smile. She had the best sleep she had in years. It felt like a giant weight was lifted from her. She looked at John who was sporting his morning wood in his boxers.

"Can I see you naked? You saw me yesterday so it only seems fair."

"I have to get a shower. Care to watch or even join?"

Caitlyn followed him into the bathroom. John stripped off his boxers. Caitlyn was admiring his broad muscular chest. He turned around to take his morning piss and she began to rub his firm ass. She then reached around and took hold of his cock and helped him guide it as he peed. When he was finished, it grew to a fully erect six inches.

He looked her and said "I hope you're not too disappointed it, but that is all there is. Sorry."

"John, there may be longer and even fatter ones out there, but none that has so much love. We have not even made love yet but I know when we do it will be just perfect."

John showered and went to work. Caitlyn cleaned the house till it was time for her to go to work.

Later that night, she said "I want to visit my parents this Saturday."

"How about I come with you?"

"I don't think that will be a good idea. We will both be embarrassed. They are my parents so I feel I need to visit once in a while."

"Nonsense, if we are to be a true couple, we may as well face the parents. Besides, you have not met mine either, so we are in the same boat."

"OK, but don't say I didn't warn you."

That Saturday, the couple drove to the trailer park where her parents lived. It was a 14 X 80 single wide that had seen its better days. When they walked in the acrid smell of cigarette smoke filled the air. It was messy and just a plain dump. The television had some reality show on.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. How are you guys doing?"

"It's about time you came for a visit. It's been what six months? Did you bring us anything?"

Her dad looked at John. "Who the fuck is that and what is he doing here?"

"Dad, let me introduce you to my boyfriend John. John this is my Dad, Harold Durwood and my mom Agnes."

"Boyfriend huh? How much are you paying my daughter to fuck her? It's probably not enough. She hasn't been home in six months and hasn't even had the decency to send money. She knows we are on disability. What are you anyway? Some rich oil field trash with a little money. Must be with that fancy Mustang out there. "Oh well, maybe if she fucks you good enough, she can give us more help. After all, we have done a lot for her raising her and all."

Caitlyn was a beat red and fuming. She was almost in tears.

"Dad, John here is an agent with the FBI. Not only that, he is a decorated veteran. He was a pilot in the Air Force. Is it so hard to believe that I could find a good man?"

John looked at Harold and said "Mr. Durwood, with all due respect, whether we have an intimate relationship or not is none of your business. I love your daughter and respect her, unlike others. I will do my utmost to protect her and care for her. I hope you have more respect for her than you are demonstrating at this time. Her relationship with you is her concern, but I will be supportive of her no matter what."

Agnes turned to her husband and said "Harold, will you two shut the fuck up. I can't hear my show. Caitlyn, go get me a beer out the fridge. Y'all have a seat and we will be with you after this goes off."

Caitlyn turned to her mom and said "That's OK. You just watch your show. I will see you guys later."

They turned around and left.

"Well that went well" sniffled Caitlyn.

It was only 10:00 on Saturday morning.

"What time do you have to be at work?"

"I don't work until tomorrow. Marvin is being an ass. Ever since I have been with you, he is cutting back on my hours. When I asked him about it, he mentioned something about being a little nicer to him, whatever that means. I guess he is trying to make me quit. I won't give him the satisfaction however."

"Cool"

John drove a while then turned into a small airport. He went through the gate and parked in the lot.

"John, what are we doing here?"

"I thought I would introduce my girlfriend to my parents."

"Uh, they live in Florida don't they?"

"Yeap."

They walked in the door of the FBO and a guy about 6'4 weighing about 325 pounds greeted them with a smile.

"Hey Tiny. How's it hanging?"

"That's about all its doing is hanging. Who is this pretty little thing and what the hell is she doing with the likes of your ugly ass?"

"It beats the shit out of me. Tiny this is my girlfriend Caitlyn. Caitlyn this ugly ass teddy bear is Charlie "Tiny" Johnson. Apparently he has a tiny Johnson if you know what I mean.

"And you know this how?" Caitlyn giggled.

They all broke out in laughter.

"You got me a Citation"?

"Yeap. Just need the ole credit card and you are good to go."

John and Caitlyn walked out to the hanger where the Cessna Citation was waiting. After doing his walk around check, he helped her into the co-pilot seat. He carefully did the preflight check list and punched in the airport code in the flight computer. Ten minutes later, there were on the runway getting ready to take off.

"I have never flown before."

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Well hang on to your panties and enjoy the ride."

Two and a half hours later, they were landing in Tampa. John rented a car and drove to his parents' house. It was a modest 3 bedroom ranch style in an older subdivision. It was neat and clean but not spectacular.

"Well, well, look the prodigal son returns. Glad to see you boy. Who is this pretty little thing?"

"Dad, I would like you to meet Caitlyn Durwood, my girlfriend. Caitlyn, this is my father, Henry Martin and sitting in the chair there is my mom, Eleanor."

Henry got up from his chair and gave Caitlyn a gentle hug.

"Welcome to our home dear"

"Thank you."

Eleanor pipes up and inquires "What do you do? Where did you go to school and what is your degree in?"

Caitlyn simply states "I am currently a waitress and am going to start cosmetology school in a few weeks. I am excited about finally beginning a career."

"Hmmmph. She has not even a bachelor's? You couldn't do better than that John? At least that Heather skank was educated."

"Really Mrs. Martin? You just meet me and become all condescending? I would like to say it's a pleasure, but now I am not sure."

Henry was trying to lighten the mood. "So did my son tell you about his days as an Air Force Pilot? He did two tours in the middle east."

"Yes. I know all about it."

Eleanor goes "He's not even a real pilot. It's not like he flew those jets. Hell he even got shot in the ass. I can't believe they gave him a medal for that. Now he does nothing but work for the government. Shame you can't be more like your sister. She works for a big accounting firm."

"Mom. Stop that. You are being extremely rude. Neither I nor especially not Caitlyn have to justify ourselves to you or anyone else. As for Becky, she just graduated in bookkeeping from a trade school. She is just an assistant. It's not like she is a CPA or anything. You take us like we are or not at all. We didn't spend three hour coming here for you to insult either me or my girlfriend. Maybe we should just go."

After grabbing a quick bite to eat, they left and flew back to Dallas. It was a short stay in Tampa.

The next day, John mentioned that he would take her to work as he had a few errands to run and would just hang out in town. He would be back after her shift to pick her up. No need for both cars to be burning gas. Due to traffic, he was about 10 minutes late getting to the restaurant to pick her up. Caitlyn was standing by the front doors and some guy that John didn't recognize was talking to her. She did not look too happy about it. The guy kept trying to put his arm around her but she kept moving away. Finally John parked and walked over to them. The guy kind of smiled as he approached.

"John, I am so glad you are here. I was getting a little worried with you being late. John, this is Marcus, my EX. Marcus, this is Special Agent John Martin, my fiancé."

Marcus held out his hand to shake but John just stared at him. He motioned to Caitlyn, "Are you ready honey?" He took her hand and they walked to his truck and left. Marcus was just looking dumb.

"Sorry about that. He came in about 5 minutes before I left. He was hinting about getting back together and hitting on me when you drove up. I was so relieved when you walked over. I am sorry about the fiancé part but figured it would stop him."

They drove in silence for a while and Caitlyn muttered to herself "I wish it were true though."

John looked over at her and smiled. "What do you wish were true?"

She gasped while blushing. "You heard that?"

"Is that a proposal?" He was snickering while he asked.

Tears began to run down her cheeks as she said "I wish it was. I wish I could be good enough for you. I know I never will be. Your mom even thought that was the case. A girl can dream though."

John quickly pulled into the next parking lot and stopped his truck. He pulled her into a tight hug and held her for a few minutes. He then looked into her eyes and softly kissed her. "I accept." He said.

"What?" She almost screamed.

"Caitlyn. Only I can determine who is good enough for me; not my parents, my friends, not even you. Only you can decide if I am right for you. It is getting close to Valentine's Day which is in two weeks. I was considering asking you then. I know we have only been together a few short months but I know this is right. You are right for me. If you are asking me to marry you, the answer is YES. My only concern is that I do have a dangerous job and I don't want a repeat of Heather. If you can live with my job as well as me, again, the answer is yes."

In a flash, Caitlyn jumped out of the truck and ran around to the driver's side. John jumped out thinking she was running away. As soon as she got to the side where John was standing she dropped to one knee. "John, I know this should be the other way around, but if you are serious, I want to do this right." Looking up with her big brown eyes, Caitlyn softly said: "John Martin will you marry me and be my husband? I will love you and support you and take care of you and worry about you, dangerous job and all."

John paused for about thirty seconds, which seemed like hours to Caitlyn and said: "Yes Caitlyn, I would be honored."

Caitlyn jumped up and immediately gave the deepest most soul searing kiss she had ever given to anyone.

"So girl, now that you asked me to marry you, what kind of wedding do you want, or do I get to plan it?"

"Well, I will be fine with just you and me. I really don't want my parents or anyone else for that matter."

"You know, I kind of feel the same way. What do you say we fly to Vegas? I think a nude wedding officiated by Elvis would be a hoot."

"Elvis is OK. I am not sure about the nude part. You know, we have never even made love yet. And what if during the time there, I have an outbreak?"

"As far as making love, I am ready whenever you are. If you have an outbreak, so be it? Only you and I will know. Let's call Bob and Francine. Maybe they will stand up with us. I wonder if they would even go with the whole nude theme."

"You can't be serious. Can you? I tell you what. If they go for it then so will I. Hell you only live once." Caitlyn was grinning as she said it.

They called the Frost's and invited them to dinner. During dinner, they announced their engagement and asked if their friends if they would stand up for them as witnesses.

"Of course we will" beamed Francine.

It was then that Caitlyn explained the theme of the wedding.

"Oh hell yeah" both Bob and Francine yelled excitedly. "This is going to be a real blast."

The two couples spent the next couple of hours talking and enjoying each other's company. Just before everyone left, Bob leaned over and whispered something to Caitlyn. She just laughed and nodded.

As they were leaving and saying goodbye, John and Bob shook hands and John gave Francine a light kiss. Bob then put a deep lip lock on Caitlyn which lasted a full thirty seconds. It looked like the whole restaurant was watching the kiss. After they broke the kiss, Bob looked over at John and proudly announced: "Payback's a bitch, ain't it buddy?"