All Comments on 'On the Lam'

Damn, this actually makes Jail Breaking worse, which is an impressive feat. Having characters this unlikable steer the story is quite a tightrope act, and when it falls, it's a big splat. Shame, writing skills are undeniable, and it's clearly going against a lot of the tired old cliches in LW, but at the same time, a lot of these stories just leave me cold.

You were right again.Some would not like the outcome of the completion.You destroyed the story by changing his conviction and principals about his marriage,his wife and family with this ending.You did exactly what I was afraid of. You Changed the man..1 star because of that...JZK

Rien à voir avec l'histoire du début. Très déçu par cette débilité.

I quite liked Jail Breaking, for once the guy got the upper hand against your screwed up uber-feminist female characters, but you turned that on it's head with this crap. A quarter of the way down the first page it was it was obvious where this was going, and you didn't disappoint. TBH I'm beginning to think your writing these stories from your own experiences with women, in which case I feel sorry for you and you have my sympathy.

It so needs a followup where he gets his balls back.

Seriously,every woman in this story was a slut? A very sad view of women from your view, and a poor opinion of men as well

Well that was disappointing. A well written wordy story. That fizzled in the end.

Hmmmm ! Incredibly confusing. Frequently I didn’t know who was doing what to whom, or why. Way too convoluted. So many characters and those unpronounceable German names, please. It was as if the more complicated you made it the better you liked it. The whole story seemed to morph into a blender of people only concerned with money and sex. I could not identify or like even 1-character. I just read it and would have a hard time describing the ending. Only a disappointed, generous-2. No smiles !

Final forzado, el giro que se da con David, a quien tanto su esposa tramposa y ambas familias, lo tratan como el culpable que los engañó y presionan para que "no sea infantil y regrese con su esposa". Hay material para un final alternativo feliz pero justo.

Loved Jailbreak, not so much this one.

Author says he wants to keep people consistent, but he lost his nerve with respect to not being cuckolded.

He was cheated on, so he can do the same by those rules of hers.

Taking her back without, serious new terms for their relationship would not be him.

not perfect ,but neither is life ..... just remember it IS fiction !!!

Too many characters, not enough story.

Not remotely as good as Jailbreaking. Also.not consistent in the characters. Disappointed.

Agree with previous commenter. This story was a poor sequel to Jailbreaking. Ironically with some minor tweaks it could have been. In thr first story, hsi entire family misunderstood what drove him and why he stayed. I am fine with painting him as a hopeless, idealistic romantic in this story under siege from conniving, pragmatic, and ultimately delusional women in his life. But the mistake was more with Doris. Doris in the first story was bester by a mother and MIL who both had twisted views and accommodations with their husbands because of their husbands first cheating. Her sister in law, Ann, didn't help as well she is an unrepentant slut and bitch and her brither Larry was a victim, who didn't speak up (at least he got a happy ending).

But the big mistake was Doris in this story. Doris is a smart, intellectual woman. She was devoted to a man she adored for something like 19 years. Even when under pressure and given terrible, corrupting advice, in Jailbreaking, she almost didn't go along with it and backed out. But then the MIL told her she would loser her prospective lover and she she burned her marriage. There is no doubt she is a cheater. But unlike the rest of the women (and some men) in her extended family, she was almost an edge case, over the fence of adultery, but maybe redeemable. Maybe. Then of course the MC runs. And why not? He rejected the ultra feminist bs of the women in his family and fled to a life of freedom. Yes this story sought to bring them back together but with a paradigm shift in their marriage. But the failure is Doris while pining for her husband was still banging Mark, eight months after he left, reveling in how exquisite a lover he was, while sadly reflecting on the loss of the love ofnher life? Wtf? Nor did her subsequent dialog paint any real form of on page contrition about her lengthy affair, except her deal she worked out with Annette to be the MC's mistress (and a pregnant one at that). I will accept that she did that out of guilt, realizing without reversing the dynamic, including dumping Mark, returning to being faithful to David and allowing him a mistress, she would never get him back.

Forget the other women in the combined family. They are lost and largely there soul is dead or twisted. Their accommodations with their husbands ruined them as people, and they have zero remorse, just obsessive desire to have David back in their lives (except Ann, meh). As an aside, woman having higher libidos post menopause is one of the lamest tropes in LW fiction. It is usually the reverse. Men have needs that cannot be met as the woman gets through menopause. She may have flashes of horniness on HRT, etc but by the time they hit their late 50s or.early 60s, they have lost a lot of libido..Men have sexual lust still as they age, unless serious health problems, and Viagra, etc takes care of the plumbing problem for most men. So hear the two mothers just come off as unrepentant sluts as they age.

But Doris could have been different. Yes she was wrong in the first story and did not know what her husband truly felt. But after he left, shorten the time with Mark to like a month. A few encounters. Have ger feel guilt and remorse. Have her feel like she drove him away. The man she proclaims to love. When her mother and MIL try to sway her continue, have her tell them they just want her to cheat so they feel better about their own whoring around. She is supposed to be smart and fundamentally a good person. Obviously she screwed up badly at the end of the first story, but here in this story there is a HUGE.missed opportunity. Have her break away from the twisted crap of her MIL.and mother. Limit her time with Mark, dump him.ince the initial thrill is past, have her feel real guilt and sorrow, and have her tell Larry to tell David she will wait for him no matter hoe long it takes. She just wants to see him to apologize. Have her break away from the corrupted sluts. Have her state real repentance. Have her go to therapy. Have her tomthe steps to going back to what she was. Instead the author has her sleep with Mark for eight months or more on a regular basis, and while she misses her husband, she still waces about how exquisite a lover Mark is and how dull her husband is.

Look his trips around the world, meeting Annette and others of her network of friends and family was all good. I even enjoyed what was the real source of his funds and how he outsmarted the State Senator. All good. We knew if he was just "dull" he couldn't suddenly be rich with money as an aphrodisiac like he states at the end of the first chapter. And yes it paints him as a crook and a liar.

However, that betrayal while it might help to.level the playing field doesn't compete with nearly nine months of f$ck sessions with Mark, especially 180 degree change in attitude at end of first chapter, her lack of repentance, and her sleeping with Mark the first time, which set David free.

There are glimmers of her remorse in their brief dialog on last page and again in the reversal of accommodation, he gets both Doris and Annette and Doris doesn't play with others. But it coukd have been so much more. Lessen the betrayal. Have ger get an epiphany of guilt and remorse. Stand up to the sluts (they are not relevant at all to the conclusion of the story). Even help.put Larry her brother through his terrible times with Ann and have Doris see how twisted the cheating hurts the aggrieved spouse. Maybe have her be the one approached about legal threats, go.to Larry and learn that he can communicate, and leave the mothers and others out of it. Heck have David spend money on a PI to see what Doris did. Maybe have it something that Larry sets up for him while he is away but sworn to secrecy until Doris confronts her brother. Honestly keeping the MIL and mother in the story, beyond some of the early parts to explain how this ultra feminist crap all got started, sucked some of the vitality out of the story and prevented Doris from personal growth.

I am fine.with his.being with Annette. Fine with her messaging that he still rejects and in fact (somewhat) wins her over as she falls.in love with him. Have Doris though have a short fling, dump Mark, feel remorse, come to.see the damage her brother is suffering at the hands of Ann, get theroay, reject her mother and MIL's corrupted views on marriage and fidelity. If she really loved David and is pining for him out of guilt (guilt means subconscious knows you did something wrong!), and knowing that she doesn't love Mark one iota, then have her break away and self reflect and change. Then the other events with NY state, give her a chance to find her husband and then interact with Annette. This could make a reconciliation possible, even if Annette is part of the package deal, without David tossing away all his romantic ideals (which are commendable).

But sadly little remorse from Doris on page. More acceptance that she will allow him a mistress and never herself cheat again, if she gets back with David, who she is obsessed with. So instead events have conspired along with Doris cutting a deal with Annette to trap him in the gilded cage again, without much choice on his part. Sadly a missed opportunity and unworthy sequel to Jailbreaking.

So, in the end, he just gave in to the slut wife and mother... He may be rich but he is one spineless wimp. For him... Life IS a Bitch and he may be the Bitch !

Jailbreaking was one of the best. This sequel, nope. It felt like JB was written for the audience and this feels like it was written for the author. This would be a good MM story.

Great two part story. Enjoyable reading

"Most Americans speak English." I'm English and I take issue with that assertion :-D

He did a 180 from the first story which was totally illogical for the type of person he was and for the values he held. I will read the first story but not bother with this one as its just words on paper but a story it is not, well a not logical one.

N.B. Americans speak American English not (British) English. Totally different. How can a British person speak with and English accent when English is their root language, the just speak English. All other persons speak English with their own English accent. Same for French etc. Its such a shame Americans cant use several letters from the English language when the talk. Water is pronounced Waler (Listen to Frozen 2). there are several others letters. It is just so infuriating I want to turn it off.

The fact that he ended up going to the dark side, joining a lifestyle he supposedly hated, totally destroyed the story for me.

As some have said, David changed his values from keeping his marriage vows for himself to going with an open marriage. Now, if that turn around was explained, so be it, but it was not. Thus this story is extremely whimsical as to why he would change so. To this end I do not rate his as a logical conclusion to the story, just an Author, trying to stir up readers emotions. Or is the Author just showing their inner psyche of how they think, deep down?

Christ, your New York morals are shining through in nearly every paragraph of this trash. This is why the world is truly headed for an end.

Great story told by a great storyteller!

⭐⭐ It could be a great story, until some idiot takes a cheater back. CRASH!

M/C is not very likable and his family consists of one way street individuals…. The story to circle the tub waiting for some smuck to drop the soap…..

Dude! I can’t believe you come here for morality! This is a stroke site. Searching for morality here is like going to Pornhub for their much vaunted spiritual teachings.

After all, sometimes you hear people crying out, “Oh God, oh God!” So, it must be spiritual, right!

Well told tale. Would have been a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ except for the cheating and disrespect shown by the women. Almost made me sick. He should never have taken her back.

Only 3 stars because he mixed himself up with his soulless family of sluts again, why lose his backbone now

All that power and the fool doubles down in the den of whores and cucks otherwise known as his family. Great writing, but the shittest cuck stories. I thought tge first chapter was disappointing. The only thing missing was the usual BBC/poor white cuck hubby bullshit.

I enjoyed reading the story! It had all the intrigue to make it gripping and entertaining. I'm not a fan of Hotwife stories, but it didn't deter my enjoyment too much! As others have commented, the morales of the characters are shit. Still, I gave it 5*

Terrible cuck story. Long winded with a bunch of crap.

From page 3,,,,, aren't Canadians also Americans.?

An overly long story with an unexplained ending hastily put together to serve its purpose.

David spent 20 years being manipulated by Doris and left when all the women in his family tried to manipulate him into being a willing cuckold. You end it by him once again being manipulated by two sexually promiscuous women, one of whom is the wife who cuckolded him and drove him away in the first place. Do you realize that you did this ?

Author mucked the sequel. While I liked some of his nefarious business deals, it was sad to see him turn 180 degrees to accept the open marriage lifestyle, even when Doris never really apologized and certainly no contrition. She banged Mark for 8 months wallowing in the great sex (even knowing her one time cost her David and the initial thrill would be muted given David's abandoning her with zero contact). Nope all she can think is how great the sex with Mark is, how she is entitled to it, how David was dull, and yet she has zero emotional attachment to Mark. There is really no guilt expressed on the written page. Yes she comes to an accommodation (in reverse) with David's new (pregnant) mistress, agreeing to break it off with Mark, after rhat had already fizzled after so many months, but she still feels she was entitled because David was so dull, hid things from her, and after so many years of being a loving and faithful wife, she was owed this, based on the corrupt influences of her MIL and mom and Ann and their bombastic accommodations with their male partners. At least Larry gets a happy ending. But what is David really coming back to and why. Doris' half hearted attempts to reconcile on the last page are lame and she instead works out a deal with the new mistress. David cannot divorce Doris because of all the financial and legal light that would be shed on his dirty real estate empire. But he has no need to be anywhere near Doris. If she files for divorce for abandonment (which seems out of character for her), she discovers nothing big about his shady business empire. Well written, but characters either never grew up and owned what they did (Doris) or turned 180 on defining moral issues in Jailbreaking (David). Jailbreaking was such a better story imo. Too bad. Doris flipped a.switch in the first story and never really apologized or admitted fault. Just brokered an agreement with his mistress, so she is wife again. Ouch.

Horrendous ending to what was a promising story. The wife continues to Cuck him, he clicks another guys slutty wife and he’s back in with the family that tried to blackmail him by getting him drunk and taking a picture in a compromising position?

Disappointed in this sequel as I was at the end of the originals story. Loved it until the ending

You are a despicable horrendous bastard.

The views you are pushing with this story are so toxic that you can actually make the world a worse place than you left it, and not in a you as a group but you as an individual.

Seeking faithfulness is not male pride, it's seeking what one actually wants. ALL of your characters are only worth the rope it takes to hang them.

They're abusers, manipulators and evil to the core.

Each and every one of them deserves extreme public humiliation and punishment, body and mind. Rape, beatings, torture, abuse and butchering their bodies.

It's not so much the cheating, although that is bad, it's their backstabbing ways. And what's worse, you try to make it seem romantic.

If just one of the people that has read your stories actually takes what you wrote to heart families will be destroyed.

No curse is strong enough and horrendous enough for the likes of you, but whatever is worse may it follow you forever!

It’s simple. Reverse the story ... David takes a young lover and Doris is???? Fine with it? All the women in that family are fine with it? NO! They would not be. So why write a story where NONE of the women feel the pain of infidelity?

I gave you a five anyway....

It seems that some don't care for how you tried to 'fix' the story. Remember the song from the early 70s - Garden Party? 'You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself' - I think that is basically JPB's motto. Personally, I enjoyed both parts! Thanks.

somewhere east of Omaha

Yeah.... No.... I wish I hadn't read the sequel. 2/5 BRB

Why do women in your stories get away with so much nonsense? In almost all of your stories women are perfectly fine with cheating and then they don't show any remorse at all. And your male protagonists always just give in in the end. I'm not particularly averse to reconciliation but there's literally no effort on part of the women to earn forgiveness or to show even a little bit of remorse. It seems you have a seriously skewed view of fidelity

Not necessarily the best story, sure he got his, but for a(n even fake) reconciliation, I would like to see some redemption arc other than her feeling bad. Obviously, thanks for writing it. I would have done it myself and better, but had to mow the lawn this past weekend, maybe next time.

The one thing I find more troubling than the story not going exactly the way I would have liked is the amount of politicization being inserted into these stories and not just this writer. The amount of judeo-liberal gift to the unwilling host including but not limited to interracial relationships, dieversity and feminism is astounding.