Patrick Ch. 04

For ten minutes Patrick talked about Kevyn, describing her as he saw her.

"She has the most beautiful eyes and when she smiles..."

Eustace noticed something, when Patrick talked about Kevyn, he relaxed completely.

"Now tell me about the one that you called the bitch." Eustace said.

As soon as Patrick started to talk about Melissa, his demeanor changed, he became agitated and the red haze began to cloud his vision.

"Tell me more about Kevyn." Eustace said.

Again, as soon as Patrick started talking about Kevyn, he calmed and this time even Patrick noticed.

"What do you think it means?" he asked.

"I don't know yet but before we figure that out, I want to figure out why this woman was able to push you to the point of rape." Eustace said. "Tell me something, before things got to this point, was there something about this girl that bothered you?"

Patrick thought about it for a few minutes before deciding that there had been, he had pegged her as trouble from the first and that she had reminded him of someone.

"She reminded me of someone and I knew that I had to stay away from her." Patrick said. He could feel the anger beginning to rise and in his mind he said Kevyn's name and it receded. That in and of itself told him something, he could never hurt Kevyn, she was what kept him grounded but he needed confirmation.

"When Ethan raped it was always the same type of woman." Eustace commented. "They were always white, tall and thin. Martin also had a certain type of woman that he victimized but you never told me about the type of woman that you victimized. Think carefully, is it possible that this woman reminded you of your victims?"

Patrick closed his eyes, he remembered the rapes clearly but he had always had problems remembering what his victims looked like whereas Martin and Ethan didn't. He considered it a blessing but maybe it wasn't, if he could have remembered what his victims looked like maybe tonight could have been prevented but he really couldn't remember.

"I suppose it's possible but I can't remember what my victims looked like." Patrick replied.

"I think that you remembering is important in disabling the mechanism that urges you to rape." Eustace said.

"How do I remember?" Patrick asked.

*******

Kevyn sat on the couch for a long time, the television show forgotten. She didn't miss the relief in Patrick's voice when she said that he could call her. What was it about him that attracted her? She hadn't been really attracted to anyone since Lonnie and that was just fine with her but now there was Patrick Sinclaire who was everything that Lonnie hadn't been. That he was rich wasn't part of the attraction, money had never been a prerequisite for her, if the man had to flip burgers for a living she wouldn't care just as long as he tried.

She changed the channel on the television looking for her other guilty pleasure, 'My name is Earl'. Not finding it she channeled surfed until she found a movie that looked interesting. As with the last television show, she couldn't concentrate. She couldn't stop thinking about Patrick and what could have happened between him and Melissa and got angry again but not so much at Patrick as she was with Melissa. The girl was playing with fire and one day she was going to try to seduce the wrong man and would end up in the obituaries. "Not my problem." She muttered to her self "and neither is Patrick Sinclaire" she added as she turned the television off and settled in to sleep.

******

"Do you remember anything about your past victims?" Eustace asked. He was wishing that they had addressed this when Patrick was in treatment but both of them had decided that it wasn't an issue since he had good control over his emotions and over the years the urge to rape hadn't reared its ugly head until this woman came along.

"Not much only that they were small like.... Her" Patrick replied. He didn't even want to say Melissa's name. Thinking about her was bad enough.

"What else do you remember?"

"I .... They were hookers, all of them were hookers!"

"Was this woman a hooker?" Eustace asked.

"No, I don't believe so... well she was but not the stand on the street corner type and she dressed like one."

"Alright, now let's talk about one of the rapes, the first one since that one will be the one that you're more likely to remember."

"Eustace, I don't...."

"If you want to ensure that this doesn't happen again, then you have to."

Patrick nodded, Eustace was right, he had to do this.

"Good, now at the beginning including what happened prior to the rape."

Patrick began talking. It was halting at first, he hated remembering those days, the memories always sickened him but he ignored the nausea and kept talking. Eustace didn't stop him until he got to the part where he saw his victim."

"Stop." Eustace said. "Try to imagine that you're watching a slide show and look at everything one slide at a time. Tell me what you see."

"She's not on the corner but standing in a door way. The light was shining all around her giving her this ethereal look, she could have been an angel she was that beautiful."

"Did you feel the urge to rape at that point?"

"No, I mean I wanted her but not by force." Patrick said.

"Go on." Eustace urged.

"As I walked up to her, several other women tried to stop me but I didn't want them, I wanted the angel standing in the doorway."

"Stop." Eustace said. "Look at her tell me what she looks like, you had to have looked at her to know that she was beautiful."

Patrick swallowed hard; he didn't want to do this. This was where it all began but if he wanted to permanently kill the desire to rape, he had to. He didn't want to take the chance that he would rape someone again but he also didn't want to rape after he and Kevyn mated. He was no longer counting on the fact that he wouldn't rape now that he had found her.

"She's small like...the one tonight was and the top of her head just barely reached my chest."

"What color are her eyes?"

"Gr...green."

"What color is her hair?"

"Oh god, it's ... red."

"Take a breath, you're doing great." Eustace said with uncharacteristic gentleness.

Patrick took a shaky breath.

"Did she do anything?" Eustace asked after a minute.

Patrick was crying again, while he had talked about the rapes, he hadn't dissected one as they were doing now.

"She pulled down the bodice of her dress and showed me her breasts.... Eustace, that's what the other one did, she...."

"Alright, slow down." Eustace said. "So she showed you her breasts and then what?"

"She asked me if I wanted to play with a real woman, Melissa, she did the same things but not in the same order."

Not ready to offer an opinion, Eustace took Patrick through another rape and wasn't surprised that the same things happened but not necessarily in the same order. There was actually one instance where the sex started out as consensual but then the woman said something about being a real woman and in Patrick's mind the woman had become one of the hookers that he had raped in the past.

"Your victims have several things in common, they were small, red haired and green eyed." Eustace said. "And most of them were prostitutes. For whatever reason, that first rape determined the type of woman that you would rape and her words became your trigger. The woman tonight fit into that mold, you knew that there was something about her but because you couldn't remember what your victims looked like you didn't make the connection and of course she not knowing what you were kept pushing."

"But that doesn't make what happened tonight right." Patrick said.

"No it doesn't but now we know why it happened." Eustace replied.

"Does this mean that it's safe for Kevyn to be around me?"

"It's safe." Eustace said.

"But."

"But what?" Eustace asked.

"What aren't you telling me?" Patrick asked.

"I'm not sure." Eustace admitted.

"Not sure about what? Is Kevyn safe with me or not?" Patrick demanded.

"Kevyn is safe with you but I think it's more that you're safe with her." Eustace said.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"Kevyn is your stabilizer." Eustace said. "Somehow she grounds you and as long as you remember her, you're alright."

"That's good right?" Patrick asked.

"It is but there's more." Eustace said. "You need to mate with her and the sooner the better, until you do there's a chance that given the right conditions you could rape again. I'm afraid that this Melissa has woken a sleeping dragon"

Patrick felt as if he had been sucker punched, this could not be happening.

"What do I do?" he asked frantically.

"Stay in touch with your mate, if the urge comes, think about her and then call her." Eustace suggested.

They talked for several more minutes before Eustace left.

"You still have my emergency number don't you?" Eustace asked.

"Yes, I have it." Patrick confirmed.

"Good and don't hesitate to use it."

"Thanks Eustace."

"No problem and Patrick? I think that you should stay with either Martin or Ethan."

He had already thought about that and wasn't sure that he was ready to face Katrina or Rachel.

******

Both Martin and Ethan were still there when Eustace left.

"How are you doing?" Ethan asked.

"Aside from the fact that I could rape again? Just fucking great!" Patrick snapped.

"Whoa! What are you talking about?" Martin asked.

They listened in shock as Patrick told them what Eustace said.

"You can't stay here alone." Ethan said. "You're coming home with me and before you say no I've already talked to Katrina."

"What did she say?" Patrick whispered.

"She said that you should come home with me." Ethan replied. "And your niece is very anxious to see her favorite uncle." he added knowing that if anything would convince him, that would.

"Victoria..."

"Doesn't know." Ethan assured him.

"Is Katrina really alright with me being there?" Patrick asked.

"Patrick, Katrina loves you as does Rachel. They're not blaming you and want to do what they can to help you through this." Ethan said. "But there is one rule that you cannot forget, well two but the first one is the most important one.

"Ok."

"You cannot come up from behind Katrina without announcing yourself. If you come from outdoors or anywhere in the house and you don't see her, call out her name. If you don't she'll have a flashback, the second thing is this you have to play scrabble and be prepared to lose."

"Got it, but scrabble?" Patrick asked.

"That's her favorite game and I've only beaten her a handful of times and only because she was distracted." Ethan replied.

"Let me get a few things." Patrick said and went to pack. He glanced at the clock; it was just a little past eleven. He found it hard to believe that just a few hours ago he was enjoying his life as a teacher, finding his mate and it had all almost gone to hell.

He felt the anger rise, he wanted to find that little bitch and......

"Patrick? Are you alright?" Martin asked.

The anger died, he couldn't allow himself to think about Melissa, it would only bring the anger and he would hurt someone.

"I'm ok; can you give me a minute?"

As soon as Marin left the room, Patrick called Kevyn.

*******

She wasn't asleep yet, there were too many thoughts running through her mind and all of them involved Patrick. Kevyn sighed in frustration and turned on the television hoping that it would lull her to sleep and after a few minutes, it had begun to work its magic. She was just about asleep when her phone rang, her initial reaction was panic. Her mother wasn't well and anytime the phone rang late at night, her first thought was that her mother had died.

Kevyn answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hi it's me Patrick, did I wake you?"

"No, I wasn't asleep yet. You sound better."

"I'm doing better thanks." Patrick said. "I just wanted to call to wish you a goodnight and to thank you."

"You keep thanking me but I don't know what you're thanking me for." Kevyn replied.

"You have no idea of how much you've helped me." Patrick said. "Sometime soon I'll explain everything but for now, thank you."

Kevyn hung up more confused than she was before.