All Comments on 'Permission Ch. 01'

Why would any real man let his wife be with anyone other than him. Fanasy lover or not. A fanasy is to remain a fanasy, if not its cheating or hubby will be a cuckold

Big disappointment! My first story submission's first public comment is so far off-base as to be ludicrous. I'd never read the WPFister story till this AM. Now I have. There's a remote resemblance -- far more remote than the resemblance between, say, Nicole Kidman and Sophia Loren.

I expected some to like the theme or the treatment, some to dislike it. But the plot line is so different from the one to which it's compared that one must only imagine that Anonymous read Fister's work too long ago to remember it well. Also, once Chapters 2 & 3 are posted, more obvious differences will arise,

Ah, well, now I suppose I understand why some author's choose not to submit to public comments

I would encourage you to continue. You write well and your story has coherance. While I personally do not enjoy willing cuckold stories, you certainly have the right to explore any theme you wish. Harsh comments from readers come with your concurrence, take them with a grain of salt.

I probably will not read additional chapters of this tale, but I'm sure that there are others who will and who will enjoy. I urge you to write what you wish, that's your right as an author.

Well written and barely credible story. The characters are amazingly naive, even the studly older movie star type. Cuckoldry has many forms, and this story very definitely falls into that category. The 'tell me all about it' line makes it one of the worst kind. That does not mean you have no talent as an author. Write what you feel, or like or have to write. Thanks

Since it is a first time, I won't give it a 100%. But it is very good. Nice writing, rational thinking. It WAS a little molasses like in the middle there, though. I had a bit of trouble following the plotline. Work on that, OK? The flow of the story should be smoother. The motives of the man were a bit naive, but understandable.

Seems to me the first thing Paul should learn from this story is, if you can't love yourself, you can never love another. Submitting yourself and your piece of mind to others fantasies in the name of love is self-delusion, not self-love.

I personally don't go for most betrayed husband stories, in general. (Did anyone ever notice that the best ones always have the slut wife? Ones with slutty husbands never get read that much. I wonder why?) Albeit well written, this is turning out to be the kind of storyline I dislike the most. Here, it seems, we have the "anything for my wife, I can take it, fall on my sword". The majority of cuchold stories are about basically warped people. They are driven to this lifestyle because they seem to be just too dam sick to do anything else. But this kind is more insidious. Here, Paul actually thinks that he is doing the right and honorable thing. Question: who the hell said ANY of us deserved, had a right to, or were obligated to have our fantasies realized? Is that written anywhere in lifes book? If so , I really need the page number because I missed it.

The end result, in real life, would be a failed marriage. I have no idea how the authors plans to end this but I am anxious to see.

Also, the personal comments about the author weren't really needed but he did leave himself open to them in his bio. I would change it to "Yeah, my wife is younger and hot, and I am old and not, so deal with it!", count your blessings and leave it there! :-)

Best regards,

C

Well-written. The characters are believable (within fiction) and the story development flows well and leads on step by step.

I appreciate dividing long stories into chapters, but the division should be natural. Starting Angelina's story and then stopping in the middle is not good editing.

Why would anyone be tantilized while reading a story about these extremely immature people? They have no values, no loyalty, no comprehension of what marriage is all about. I would not be surprised if this were not also true of the author of the story.

The theme is not new, the characters are imbecilic, and the happenings are unrealistic from beginning to end.

As one previous response stated, you do have the right to write any type of story you want. However, why not do something creative and truly imaginative, instead of an age-old cuckolding story that ends up hurting others!

I imagine many will not be reading chapter two. It's a lose-lose type of story and the only one who wins is the Hollywood "star" who supposedly shows up in an out-of-the-way setting and falls for an immature broad who is more infatuated with him than in love with her own husband. Yeah, man, that's a good story line and very uplifting to all. NOT!!!

Bye bye!

CapnVere.. Ignore all the ignorant comment. This is an excellent and very well written story.. Please continue and don't get discouraged by the idiots who reply..

I love this story and hope you spend a long time developing the characters and follow what is sure to be some interesting and possibly heart wrenching adventures..

I enjoyed the story well enough, but not enough happened in this chapter. Sorry.

Constructively, writer I am always puzzled why a new writer would start with a story that portrays the ultimate male self disrespect - that of a groveling pathetic helpless indecisive man desiring the humiliation of his loving wife wanting anothers cock and loving more than her wimp.

You see that we as readers must conclude that you find this arousing and exciting enough to spend a lot of your time and talent on such a dispicable male demeaning story. Why would a semi-talented newbie like yourself debase themselves to 99% of the readers here who find this very disgustingly sordid and non-human - certainly non-male.

Certainly not erotic or arousing to most but just another sick jaded writer pushing his lurid self serving subhuman excitement upon the few sicko's who must have this humiliation - this pathetic watcher of superior cocks in his most precious partner for life and the mother of his or her children.

Another illusion perpetuated here by some writers and readers implies that they or we should score only on the talent displayed not the subject matter no matter how disturbing or disrespectful it is to normal humans. How quaintly and asininely short sighted and self serving that thought is.

Not many pulitzers or other worthy literary awards for the Jeffery Dohmer type stories is there, nor for piss swallowing or wife pimping and cock watching. When the subject matter is absurdly revolting to most humans, they dislike it and if it were to be scored do you really think that being well written would matter a whit in the face of their anger for the disrespect displayed for males and humanity?

Writer, you may write what you want & for whom you want, but why achingly display your propensities for below human convention sick subject matters and expect applause from 99% of us when we are sickened by your self disrespect and sordid expectation of us.

Try another theme or waste your time and talent on the less than 1% of similarly disturbed sick readers.

Those are but 2 of the plot problems.

She works regularly with celebrities. He never meets any. The deal is that if she can get any of a list of candidates, she can. Her chances are pretty good since the guys are way more likely to accept a free piece of ass than the women. His chances are worse than his becoming president. So, in reality, the deal is that she can cheat, but he can't. Suppose he is 6'10", she is 5'3" and they are both athletic. They make a deal that whoever can dunk a basketball can have whoever they want. Would she agree to this clearly unfair arrangement? No, because it's inherently unfair, like their actual deal.

The least credible part is that the guy doesn't just say yes, like he has to countless groupies.

Then there is he won't regret it. He is obviously not happy, though relenting as opposed to agreeing. Given that how can she possibly know how he'll react? If he's hurt because her selfish fantasy is more important than her husband's feelings and the maintenance of their relationship, what combination of sexual acts will make him happy she doesn't consider their marriage important? It doesn't even matter now if she changes her mind. They understand that he's willing to possibly sacrifice his long-term happiness for her short-term pleasure and she is willing to allow it.

She has a list. What happens when she meets the next? It's only a one-time thing with this guy. So is the next and the next. It wasn't one guy from the list, but anyone from the list.

She cuts him off in mid-arousal until she's had her days with her hero. The potential impact of none of this is worth discussing with her spouse? Unilateral satisfaction of a fantasy and unilateral decisions about carrying it out do not portend well for a long marriage.

GARBAGE!!!!

I want to see comments

Just another clueless cuck story with the wife as a thoughtless whore.

All of these "Hall "Pass" stories are overdone formulaic garbage. I suppose that I can imagine as a silly verbal game such a thing might be talked about as a joke involving movie stars, star athletes. etc. But who in their right mind would treat such a thing as binding if a onein a million chance occurred? What husband would agree because he otherwise would "be blocking his wife's greatest dream?" I read this first chapter and gave it 1*. The hell with the slut; she fucks her movie star, she's now going to receive the divorce petition by the time she gets back from her"once in a lifetime experience."

He might as well volunteer to suck the guys cock hard for his wife. Soon as she asked, I’m done. Start hiding assets and head to Ecuador when the kids leave home.

Maybe demand a post nup before she goes. Well written but nauseating. Takes all kinds I suppose.

This is all pretty light-hearted, and I like her, but that’s not keeping me from imagining the worst…

So don't get it, the disrespect and level of compliance expected???? That's nuts won't end well, i suspect hope i can finish it but the writing is so good and charter's dialogue interesting despite my detachment from the storyline i will see what happens