All Comments on 'See You Soon Ch. 03'

Wickedly hot. You ought to tell readers something about the story or to be sure to read previous chapters at the start of each chapter. It's obvious they'll need to, but folks aren't always thinking with the big head and readers do join series in progress.

This is great thanks for sharing can't wait for the next chapter.

why is this guy stalking, kidnapping and raping a high school student (yea 18 got it)?

I like that you advance time smoothly and quickly but what the hell is going on here, who is this guy, why her?

Is this just a stroke piece that after he "trains" her to be his after the w/e he just lets her go and she has "fond" memories of the sick bastard that drugged her but took her cherry?

First, the author can't be much older than eighteen. The descriptions of high school (and the fantasy of a dangerous lover that spurns school life) are just way too spot on. Therefore, I think readers have to remember that the main character here is NOT an adult and doesn't think like one. Example: "This dick must be kidding me." Such a teenager thing to say! and a great reflection of teenage invincibility. I don't think Alex is really worrying about death as a possibility for her.

Second, I keep thinking the story is allegorical for the dangers you face growing up. No, some random hot dude probably isn't going to pick up a band geek at a restaurant and then whisk her away from the banality of high school life. I doubt the author was trying for something allegorical, but I feel like David represents the allure of inevitable catastrophe.

Third, Alex is a cute character. David... so far, he just seems like the dark and mysterious bad guy, and Literotica is chock full of them. Flesh him out. And don't give him a bunch of curious scars/tattoos or grave gulps of memory-numbing whiskey. Gawd, that gets old, too... *headache*

Fourth, where the hell was the cunnilingus? Was there cunnilingus? "[He] moves his head down to the cause of my distress." What's he doing down there? I DID like it when she said, "David, somethings [sic] wrong." That was cute. :)

Good job! Keep writing! Don't mind me.

Loving the building intrigue