Southern Tide Vol. 02

She sighed and got up. She looked to the mirror and examined herself. Staring back at her was the disheveled Kiara from years ago, only now she was no longer pregnant. Her hair was dry and frizzy, while her face was a little swollen from the crying. But none of that mattered now. She no longer cared to impress anyone. She would either politely say that she wasn't feeling well and wanted to be alone, or tell whoever it was to 'fuck off,' depending on their manners and approach. She was not the one to be bothered today, and would have very little regard for anyone else's feelings, especially if they were looking to be inquisitive.

She didn't change her pajamas or wash her face before approaching the door. This was because she had every intention of crawling back into bed, to continue the self-pitying session. She never looked through the peep-hole to see who it was either, and hurriedly opened the door. At the sight of the visitor, she wished that she had been more mindful of her appearance.

Stephanie Delgado, the woman who had taken her dream away from her, now stood in the doorway, looking just as beautiful as ever. She didn't know how to respond to the visit, and greeted Stephanie with an unintentional frown. Of course, Stephanie ignored the scowl and responded with a forced smile. Something was up, because she looked quite different since Kiara had last seen her. First it had been Brian, and now it was Stephanie.

"Dammit!" she thought. She couldn't get him out of her head.

Stephanie was a beautiful Colombian woman, with long brunette hair, flawless skin, and a beautiful figure to match. She had always been curvy and voluptuous, but she seemed to have lost a considerable amount of weight. She looked sad and almost frail, now that Kiara paused to take a good look at her. There were bags under her eyes and she looked like she too was being disturbed by something.

Kiara already knew that Derek was the culprit, but she couldn't imagine why Stephanie would come to see her. While they were never openly hostile, both had always kept a safe distance from each other. It was a silent understanding of sorts. For the benefit of Joshua and to keep the peace, they would deal with the circumstances of their relationship with Derek, and get on with their lives. For a second, she thought to be rude to Stephanie and finally take out all of her frustration and anger on this arch-nemesis. But she couldn't go through with it. That look of pain was all too familiar and she would hate herself later for taking advantage of another person in such a state.

"Hi Kiara." Stephanie finally said. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if we could talk."

"Talk? Is...everything alright?" Kiara asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well...yes and no. It's complicated but I really had to come see you. Is this a bad time? I can come back later."

"No...it's fine. Come in."

Kiara couldn't believe that she had just invited the sole figure she envied and despised into her home, but she considered the situation carefully. If this had anything to do with Derek, and she was sure it did, maybe she could patch things up and send Stephanie back to him.

More than anything, she wanted Derek's forceful advances to stop. She led Stephanie to her living room and motioned for her to sit down. How she wished that it was Brian here instead.

"Thank you Kiara. I know that you probably don't like me, and I can't blame you for feeling that way. After all, I did ruin your relationship with Derek. I came here to apologize to you."

"It's in the past Stephanie. I've moved on, so there's no need."

"I understand, but I really am sorry for what I did to you."

"You haven't done anything to me."

"Yes I have. You just don't know it."

"If this is about Derek, we've been over for years and I'm done with him. I think he is the one who should be here apologizing, not you."

"I know...but let me explain. You probably didn't know that he was sleeping around on you all those years ago. That was...before you got pregnant. I would see him around with my girls and he was always the baller type; flaunting money, jewelry and his new car. I was young back then and I didn't care if he had a girl or not. I pushed myself onto him and he was for it. We got together and started messing around. When I asked him about you, he told me that you guys weren't that serious. So I thought that since he was close to breaking up with you, that I could make him mine."

Kiara felt like she was dreaming. Was it possible that she had been so blindly in love with Derek, that she couldn't recognize him as a cheater? She began to feel sick.

"So...you're telling me, that all this was going on before Joshua was born?" Kiara managed to ask calmly, even though she was silently scolding herself with the words, "God! How could I have been so stupid?"

"Yes...you should know that there were times when he felt really guilty. I could tell. I didn't find out about the pregnancy till after you gave birth. He told me that it was over, and that he had to take care of you and his son. But I wouldn't let him leave me. I fought him and did everything I could to keep him from leaving. It was selfish, I know. I had my own issues going on, and I was starved for love. I didn't want to give him up. So...I guess I won in the end. But as I got older, my conscience began to eat away at me. I had no right to do what I did."

"I appreciate your apology but it's eight years too late. I honestly don't know what to say. I've been through a lot of pain, and I want to forgive...but I can't imagine how I could comfort you."

"I understand. I've wanted to have this talk with you for a while, but I couldn't work up the nerve to do it. I was ashamed but I had to come clean. I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me. I guess I just really wanted forgiveness."

"Well...thank you." Kiara sighed, and looked down to her clasped hands. "I loved him...once upon a time, but I think I deserve better. The only person I'm looking out for now is my son."

"Yes I know. I don't know what Derek's thinking. He's turned into this man who lets his sister dictate almost everything he does. It's gotten out of hand. The way she talks to me is the reason why he and I aren't together anymore."

"What do mean? Natalie made him break up with you?"

"No. I made the decision to leave. Derek is a grown man, yet Natalie has too much influence over him. She's the younger one, but acts like an overbearing parent. She's always intruding on our lives. I overlooked it for years but it was becoming too much of a problem. When I tried to talk to him about it, things blew out of proportion and he chose to side with her. I can't have a life with someone that can't make his own decisions. So, I've decided to wash my hands clean. But I couldn't move on without coming to see you first."

Kiara paused for a moment, not knowing what to say. She knew that Stephanie was telling the truth, because Derek had always been protective of Natalie.

"Maybe you should try to talk to him one more time. That is...if you still want to be with him. I've made my peace with the whole situation and I don't want him to drag me down. I think he misses you, and now that you're gone, he's at a loss. He's been really out of character lately and now I know why."

"I don't know. I'm very conflicted about...just everything. I'll need to think about it."

"Well whatever you choose to do make sure it's right for you."

Now, not only had she let Stephanie into her home, but she was also offering advice. So much had changed and she wondered whether this was a good or bad thing. A long time ago, she would have liked to get back at her. She had fantasized about taunting Stephanie, once Derek came back to her. Now it seemed that in a twisted way, her fantasy had come true; only it was no longer desired. She had been quiet for a moment while she thought on this, and the silence seemed to make Stephanie uncomfortable.

"Well I have to get to work." Stephanie said, while getting up from her seat. "Thanks for hearing me out."

"No problem...and for the record I really don't bear you any grudge."

"I know that everything I said was a lot to take in, but you've always been a strong woman. You took care of business when I was being stupid and thoughtless. I admire you for that."

"I do what I have to for Joshua."

"Well you're doing great Kiara. You're a good woman, and a great mother. I hope I can be the same as you."

Both women walked to the front door, Kiara leading the way. She felt a little better. She had faced the conversation quite well. She always knew that there would come a time, when they would have a proper conversation. The thought had always scared her, because of all the insecurities she harbored.

Now, she realized that they should have spoken sooner. For years she despised the woman, but she now realized that they were probably on equal footing; both insecure and scared of losing Derek. Now that she knew the whole truth, there was no need to beat up on herself. Judging by what Stephanie said, he wouldn't have been a good match for her anyway. She felt liberated by knowing that she was spared such a fate and she pitied Stephanie for what she had to put up with.

"Before you go..." Kiara began, as Stephanie stepped out onto the porch. "...you deserve some credit too. You've been with Derek for years, and you stood by him while all this was going on with Natalie. You're the strong one here, because in that situation I wouldn't have stayed with him as long as you did. Whatever you do, just take care of yourself alright? We really should have buried the hatchet sooner."

Stephanie smiled, much naturally this time and nodded. Her right hand fell to her stomach, and Kiara's eyes followed the inadvertently curved movements. She wanted to ask that pressing question, but bit her tongue.

"I know Kiara." Stephanie continued. "I let my guilt hold me back, but I won't live like that anymore. It's comforting to know that I could have come to you with this a long time ago. I'm not sure what will happen, but I know both of us will be ok. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Sure. Thanks for coming." Kiara said, with a genuine smile.

Kiara watched as Stephanie got into her car and drove off. A smile formed on her face as she went inside and headed straight for the shower. She felt much better now; free of heartache and envy. Of course Brian's disappearance still hurt, but she would deal with it later. Besides, an eight year old weight was lifted off her shoulders, and that alone did wonders for her mood. Derek's trump over her life was no longer in effect and she had taken her power back.

Now she had some ammunition to use on Derek. Stephanie was pregnant, and he probably had no idea. If he did know, she was positive that he wouldn't have been knocking on her door, looking for second chances.

Stephanie was afraid, especially after the way Derek left his first family. Kiara found this very ironic, but this was karma in action. She told herself that it probably served them right, but she wasn't so vindictive. She really felt sorry for the poor woman. It was very likely that the sole figure who gave her emotional support was Derek. But he was a mess and rapidly losing his grip on sense. She wasn't sure what her next plan of action would be, but she had to be tactful about it. She wasn't looking to hurt Stephanie.

As the steaming hot water poured over her naked body, her thoughts moved back to the blonde cowboy. In all fairness, she knew that Brian was blameless, and had every right to never come back. The odds were against him, and she wasn't sure if she would ever lay eyes on him again. She still wanted him of course, but why bother to get her feelings hurt? It was time to forget their little fling, and focus on her son.

"He's all that matters now." she sighed, referring to Joshua, even though she knew well enough that this was just another white lie.

Maybe if she said it out loud a few times, she would begin to believe it and move on. She decided that she would go to see Joshua after the shower. She couldn't tell her mother any of what was going on, because she was a very judgmental woman. But Joshua's smile would make everything better. It always did.

As she walked out of the shower, and into her bedroom, with a white robe fastened around her body, her doorbell began ringing again.

"Ugh!" she groaned.

At this point, she was too annoyed to be polite. She was ready to give whoever it was a piece of her mind. She couldn't take her frustrations out on Stephanie, but she was damned happy that someone was now giving her an excuse to be angry. In fact, she hoped that it was Derek, for she had a lot to say to him. He hid Stephanie from her for God knows how long, and if she was to be alone for the rest of her life, she would have liked to curse him out one last time for all the pain he wrought on their family.

She slowly walked down the steps, thinking of some clever way to begin the conversation, if it was indeed him. She smiled to herself as this powerful feeling came over her. She was in charge now, and she had nothing to be ashamed of. He left her in his moment of weakness, while she had remained faithful. There was no need to feel the shame that her mother and friends beat into her. She was the winner here, and if Stephanie decided to be on her own, she would come out on top as well. No woman should ever have to tolerate such nonsense from a man.

Kiara took a deep breath before she opened the front door, ready to annunciate her displeasure and need for privacy. Her mind immediately drew a blank once she opened the door, and saw Brian standing before her. His expression was somber yet she sensed a glimmer of hope in him, as his blue eyes met hers. He looked as if he hadn't been sleeping well, and like Stephanie, she took pity on him. Of course she was happy to see him, and wanted to leap into his arms, but she decided to play with him for a little while. She wanted to see where his intentions lay.

"Hi Ki." he said grimly.

"Hi." she said, with an intentional hardness in her voice. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Can I talk to you?"

His pitch was very weak. He was unsure of what to expect; she knew that much.

"About what?"

"About the other night. You...probably know what happened, right?"

"Yes I do. Why didn't you stand up for yourself? You let him get in your face and didn't say a damn thing!" she proclaimed harshly.

"What?" he frowned.

Her pretended anger was dangerously close to becoming real, as she was revisited by memories of that night. Maybe she felt that since he had come back on his own, there was really nothing that could ever drive him away again. The man had gone through so many humiliating and testing situations, yet he always found his way back to her. She took comfort in the thought and decided to proceed, if only to test her theory.

"You heard me! I guess it's easy to pick on women, but when it comes to other men you back down."

"Now wait, hold on a minute!" he protested, matching her tone.

"Finally!" she thought. "Show me the tougher side of you."

"Can you just give me a chance to explain? You're treating me like some kind of bully."

"No Brian. You let him walk all over you. Why would I ever want to be with someone like that?"

"Kiara calm down. Can we go inside to talk about this?"

"No we can talk about it right here!"

"Listen to me! You need to stop this and calm down." he said sternly.

He was gaining more focus, and she wanted him more than ever now. To say the least he was turning her on. It wasn't because of the induced anger. He wasn't giving up and that alone spoke volumes to her.

"Why? I don't need to calm down!" she continued. "You're the one that never..."

"I had my reasons Ki. Come on. We can talk inside."

"I don't want to talk."

He didn't listen. Instead, he roughly took her by the arm, pulled her inside, and closed the door behind them.

"I don't have anything to say to you Brian. You could've at least been a man and called to say that you weren't coming back."

"Ki...I care about you and I'm here to apologize. I know I did wrong but I've never been in this kind of situation before."

"What situation?"

I don't get confronted a lot, but when I do I go nuts. Trust me, I wanted to punch the guy in the face but I held myself back."

"Why?"

"Because I care about you. That was Josh's dad. How the hell would it look if I beat up your son's father? And quit with that whole shit about Cat. I'm sorry! Okay? Shit!" and he clutched a handful of his newly trimmed hair to emphasize his frustration. "I don't know how long I'm going to have to keep apologizing for this."

"You don't understand how it feels Brian; to be so close and then have everything go to shit in a matter of minutes."

"Are you serious? God! I want you alright! I want to be with you. If I had beaten him up, what would stop you from thinking that I wasn't violent? Probably nothing! Think about it Ki. Would you want that kind of man around Joshua? Well? Would you?"

"So you couldn't have called me back to explain?" she asked, ignoring the truth of the question. "Instead you go MIA for a whole week?"

"Look, Derek said to stay away from his family. I don't know the circumstances, and I felt like an idiot for falling for you when you have your own family. If you were in my position would you trust me? Especially after all that's happened in the past?"

"I guess not." she said, pretending to finally see sense in his words. "But you could have called me Brian...to end it before either one of us got caught up."

"End it? What are you saying? You don't want to see me anymore?"

"I'm not saying anything. I don't want to get hurt. This isn't only about me. I'm concerned for Joshua. I don't want him to get attached to you, and then you disappear on us."

"I'm not going to disappear Ki. Even if you told me to get lost, I'd keep coming back. I'd be worse than Derek."

She couldn't hide her amusement, and a wide grin spread across her face.

"Don't make me laugh you ass." she giggled.

"There's that beautiful smile. Do you feel better now?"

"No." she lied, and punched him in the arm.

"Yes you do. Come here." he said, and pulled her into his arms. "I know you've been really upset, but I'm going to fix that."

Before Kiara could reply, he bent her body over and his mouth came down upon hers. She would have liked to push him away, or even pretend to once again be angry, but the sweet familiarity of his mouth was too much to resist.

The minty-sweet taste of his mouth was delicious, and she threw herself into the kiss, without so much as a thought of restraining herself. This was it; what she had been waiting for. She suddenly felt vibrant and eager to show this man who she was, beneath the external veil.

There was no need to stifle her desires any longer. She deserved happiness. This was not only a moment of elation, but one of clarity as well. Why should she hide her feelings, and deny herself of Brian?

Derek had imposed ideas of unworthiness upon her, but she no longer felt vulnerable. This was her life; her dream and by God she would have what she wanted. Even though her mind was churning with all these new philosophies, she was still enraptured by the force of his tongue, which prodded gently into her mouth. But she didn't want to stand at the front door any longer. She reluctantly broke away from the passionate kiss, only to proceed up the staircase where her bed awaited them. She'd had enough of playing coy and pulled him by the hand, towards her bedroom.

She was as eager as a child leading her playmate to this secret and wonderful place. Brian followed without hesitation and once they reached their destination, he closed the door behind them, and pinned her body against the wall.