All Comments on 'The Gym'

The narrator talks like my bigot grandfather, and the story makes me feel the same kind of awkward when talking to him. I wouldn't really classify this as "erotic", but the quippy writing style kept me reading to the end.

Your comment is entirely correct. That was exactly the effect for which I was aiming. I see the story has gotten terrible scores. I'm not surprised; it is unpleasant. However, I was not seeking to amuse, but to draw a picture.

Like the other commenter, I didn't get much of a personal sense of eroticism out of this story. However, as an exercise in writing, this is very well done and it very clearly captures the imagery of a misogynistic voyeur in a seedy gym watching the gyms women get through their workouts. I imagine that much of the gym going male population can identify with at least portions of this story, no matter how un-PC it might be to admit it.

Far better writing and imagination than many of the stories on here, and since this is supposed to be a site about erotic "literature", I feel it should be getting higher scores than the standard "I have a 19 inch cock, and here's how I fucked 28 women in a week" drivel that often gets posted.

Good Effort.

I thought that the writing would be at least above par since the author mentioned it would be, but overall a weak story that didn't bring me into the plot whatsoever.